A Lot On My Mind...

Sorry about the lack of posting people, but I just have a lot on my mind. Everything was going fine with my Friday until I caught wind that my cousin (who's almost more like my brother than my actual brother) had been arrested and charged with first degree murder. I don't care to go into detail because I don't even understand it all yet myself, but I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since. I went from being sad, to mad, to not knowing how to feel, to feeling helpless, to being angry, and all back around again and again. I obviously can't get it off my mind and it just makes me crazy. Hell, I don't even know how I'm writing this because I just have so much I wanna say and don't even know how to put it. Its just like a terribly fucked up dream.

Now, my cousin may be a lot of things, but a murderer is definitely not one of them. I don't need to see any news clippings or hear any testimony to know that. He's a fun loving, kind hearted man who never really got a fair shake at life from the beginning. Finally he had gotten some stability in his life by settling down and getting married and having a beautiful daughter then this happens. My heart just goes out to him because we've been through so much together and it hurts me so much to not be able to help him in his time of need.

I would like to elaborate more on my cuzz, our relationship, and what he means to me, but I just can't find it in me to keep writing at this moment. I'm trying to get my mind off of it, but its tough. Y'all pray for me and my family. I'll try to be back posting Monday.