August 09, 2012

Dwight Howard Finally Traded To Lakers In 4-Team Deal

Finally, finally, FINALLY, Dwight Howard is a former member of the Orlando Magic and we don't have to hear about how much he doesn't want to be there. Thank you Lord!

This 4-teamer breaks down like this: the Lakers obviously get Dwight Howard and also Chris Duhan and Earl Clark, the Sixers get Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson, the Nuggets get Andre Iguodala, and the Magic get... Aaron Afflalo, Al Harrington, Nikola Vucevic, Moe Harkless, and first-round picks from all 3 teams (you know, because anytime you can get the first round picks of playoff teams, you've got to do it).

Good Lord, Orlando's new GM (Rob Hennigan) is just as bad as their old one (Otis Smith); there's no way this was the best deal they could get for Dwight Howard. Brooklyn's last offer in July was at least 30% better than this.

Seriously, why in the fuck you would make this trade if you're Orlando? For the other 3 teams it makes perfect sense, but for Orlando? None. Think about it, they brought the most to the most to the table and left with the least. For Orlando, this trade is the equivalent of bringing all the alcohol to a party and ending up being the only dude with a dry dick at the end of the night. Yeah, you helped out your buddies get some action, but at the end of the day you're still going home to angrily beat off. Oh, and you're broke. Orlando would've been better off drinking all the booze at home until they were eventually gone like Howard would've been next summer. You'd still be a loser, but at least you don't have blue balls.

As for the Lakers and they're fans, calm the hell down. Yes, you just got the best center in the game, but unless Orlando is throwing in a pair of new knees for Kobe and a new back for Steve Nash, they're not winning shit. Besides, why would Bynum want to sign a long term extension to stay in L.A.? Yeah, it's L.A. and not Orlando, but you're still going home in the first or second round of the playoffs every year until Kobe retires, in which case you'll definitely never make it out of the first round. (Side note: This isn't the cue for Mavericks fans to get excited because why would Dwight take less money to play with 35 year-old Dirk? Exactly.)

Was the trade worth it for the Lakers? Yes, Andrew Bynum's best season (18.7 points per game on 56% shooting, 11.8 rebounds, and 1.9 blocks in 2011-12) still wasn't better than Dwight Howard's half-assed "I don't want to be here" season (20.6 ppg on 57% shooting, 14.5 rpg, and 2.1 bpg in 2011), BUT you're still not winning anything because Kobe is no longer Kobe.

In my opinion, the big winning in this deal is Philly. They finally got rid of Andre Iguodala and brought in a real center (sorry Kwame, but there's always handball) for about the same money (Iggy is making $14.7 million in 2012, Bynum is making $14.9 million) and a veteran scorer. Obviously this all goes to hell if Bynum doesn't sign an extension and/or his knee fail him again (he's only played all 82 games once in 7 seasons), but it's worth the risk because they were going nowhere fast with Iggy as their best player.

Last thing, what would piss off/anger Lakers fans most: Dwight leaving next summer, Dwight never being the same again after his back surgery, or David Stern vetoing this trade for "basketball reasons" tomorrow morning? I've got my money on the Stern veto.