No, not an Old Spice commercial and not a Dos Equis commercial, I'm talking bout this SoBe spot starring Kate Upton and her glorious boobs. I don't mind ignoring the god awful soundtrack to this ad one bit thanks to those titties. I'd have a staring contest with those titties any time. Oh, and don't even get me started on that fucking face! Damn, damn, damn.
Question: I know Amber Rose is super fine, but if Kanye really left Amber for Kate (which he didn't), looks wise would that be a downgrade, upgrade, or lateral move?
After much deliberation in my head, I'm gonna have to go with lateral move. Kate and Amber both have outrageously awesome tits, so that's a tie. Amber dominates Kate in the ass department, but Kate kills her facially, so that's why I went with lateral. Thoughts?
July 14, 2011
The Greatest Commercial On TV!
January 06, 2011
Battle Of The Breasts: Basketball "Wives" Edition
As you might of heard by now, Jennifer Williams of VH1's "Basketball 'Wives'" recently had some nude pics leak online. Ever since people caught wind of the situation, I've been hearing people say Jenn's tits are better than fellow Basketball "Wife" Evelyyn Lozada, whose nudes leaked online back in April. Seeing how I'm a self-titled titty expert, and long time titty enthusiast, I don't think there would be anyone better to analyze the pictures and crown one "wife" Battle Of The Breasts champion.
In this corner, wearing the black lace thong, future ex-wife of Chad Ochocinco, the "once you go broke she's leavin'" Puerto Rican, Evelyn Loooooozadaaaaaaaaa!
And in the other corner, wearing the hip hugging blue jeans, current ex-wife of former NBA mutant...uhh, player, Eric Williams, and the only actual basketball wife amongst a crew of basketball baby mommas and main side bitches, Jennifer Willllllllllliammmmsss!
Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLEEEEE!!!!
And down goes Williams! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! *ding, ding* It's over ladies and gentlemen, it is over! Evelyn Lozada lands the knockout blow around the areola. It was a close bout when it came to cup size, but Lozada's perfect nipple-to-titty ratio was just too much for Williams in the end. As all titty experts know, nipple-to-titty ratio is the most important aspect to a perfect tit, and on this day Lozada's NTTR was flat out superior.
Again, Evelyn Lozada's titties with the K.O. of Jennifer Williams' titties. Thanks for joining us folks. Hope to see you next time on Battle Of The Breasts.
August 06, 2010
Either/Or: Iller Celebration
Okay, so today we're pitting the Icelandic soccer team's "Going Fishing" goal celebration against the CFL player Dave Stala's "Foot Work" touchdown celebration. Let's do it.
This is just all kinds of awesome! They should be invited to the 2014 World Cup for their goal celebrations alone. And they're not new to this, they've made the highlight reel with their goal celebrations before.
Aight, now lets check out the competition.
Niiiiice! Most people can't do that with a round ball, let alone an oblong football. You gotta give that a 10.
So which is iller, the Icelandic team going fishing or the CFL player showing off his foot work??
Verdict: I'm gonna have to go with the Icelandic soccer team on this one. Dave's TD celebration was quite impressive, but the soccer team's was more creative and thus more ill. Close one, but yeah, I gotta go with the Iceland.
July 28, 2009
Funnier Marbury Parody, Donnell Rawlings Or Lil Duval??
We got a battle of the funny going down this time in Either/Or so answer the question, which Stephon Marbury crying parody is funnier Donnell Rawlings crying over Dave Chappelle or Lil Duval crying over T.I.??
Tough one. Very tough! I'm leaning Lil Duval's way right now, but he got to do his after Donnell's was made so its that makes the decision more difficult. Ummm, I don't know.
Fuck it, I'm gonna go with Duval because he drooled on himself while crying lol.
June 09, 2009
Gayer: Male Lower-Back Tattoo Or Male Belly Button Tattoo??
This is tough. Both are most likely result of a lost bet (I hope), but still almost equally gay. The lower-back tattoo is synonymous with women who strip, fuck too much, and/or have "daddy issues." Pretty much any chick whose father failed. Its an extremely rare tattoo for a man to have, but its so common amongst women that you can't help but refer to it as gay. Besides, why else would a man want to draw attention to a place so close to his ass if he wasn't gay?? Exactly.
A man with ink around his naval is even more rare than the lower-back. Hell, a PERSON with ink around his naval is rare in its own right. The circular belly button surrounder is so uncommon that the low self-esteem chick who get tattoos to be "different" haven't even tried it out. This shit is gay because nobody wants it. Its actually almost as gay as a dude with a pierced belly button and that's saying a lot.
Okay, so which is more gay??
Sorry Aaron Carter look-a-like, but I'm gonna have to go with the lower-back tattoo. The belly button shit is homo, but the fact that the lower-back tat is so prevalent in the hoin' population (aka the women who fuck too much) that it can't help but be eternally gay for being associated with something that attracts so much penis. This was close, but lower-back still reigns supreme.
June 04, 2009
Either/Or: Lil Wayne's Kobe Bryant Or Wes Fif's Blue & White Ignite
Pretty nice. I'm actually feeling it. A bit weird because at some points he's rapping as himself and then at some points he's rapping as Kobe. The problem isn't him rapping as himself either. This is a dope record though and I think Wayne called that 40 point game he had last night somewhere near the middle. Nice! Shouts to Skip Bayless for giving us the heads up on this track Wednesday.
OR
Not really feeling this one as much. I think I'm gonna call this one for Wayne. Yeah, I know, that's a first lol. And this has nothing to do with the Lakers absolutely destroying and demoralizing the Magic in game 1.
June 03, 2009
Eminem's Hotel Room Robbed While At Movie Awards Sunday
Damn, it looks like Eminem terrible Sunday night continued even after Sacha Baron Cohen put his ass in his face. Reports came out today that Eminem's hotel room had been robbed and the crook made off with a $60,000 necklace (didn't know Em was rocking with jewels like that) and his personal laptop.
Question: How does this happen?? Its not like Em was staying at the Holiday Inn, he was at one of those huge mega-hotels that are like $20,000 a night with top security and STILL somebody was able to break into his room?? I'd sue the shit out of that hotel if I was Em.
Aight lets take a breather and claim down to play a little game of Either/Or.
Either/Or: Bruno's bare ass in your face or being robbed of $60,000 in jewerly and a person laptop??
This is a fuckin' tough one! I certainly don't want a man's bare ass in my face, but I also don't wanna have my laptop and shit stolen. I mean I'd fuckin' die if someone stole my computer or hard drives because I could never down all the shit I have over again. At the same time, is that more important that being the butt (no pun intended) of everyone's jokes for years to come by having some dude's sweaty ass in your mug?? It really all depends on what you have on that laptop. The laptop is the X-factor here. If you just have generic bullshit on there its all good. BUT if you have personal information about yourself or your family on there or even nude pics or something on there then that's totally different. You have to pick your poison, raw as in your face or being exposed??
Fuck! I can't choose, somebody help me out!
SOURCE
May 22, 2009
Worse Failure: Charles Hamilton Vs. Jazmine Sullivan
Let's play Either/Or people! Worse failure, Charles Hamilton or Jazmine Sullivan??
First up is the lamest new rapper that you've seen thus far, Charles Hamilton:
That's gonna be tough to top. What do you have to say about that Jazmine Sullivan??:
Wow. This is fuckin' hard! Getting styled on by some random bird (while wearing furry pink headphones and rocking a stuffed Pink Panther doll on the arm) or doing the slowest fall in American history while trying to strut?? This could be one of the great debates of our country's history (and it would be if I had a show lol). Truly a toss up.
I think I'm gonna have to go with Charles. Jaz failed, but people fall on stage all the time (see Michelle Williams, Beyonce, and Lil Wayne) so its not that big of a deal, though it was funny as fuck. Its not everyday a dude gets stole on by a female while freestyling.
Well first of all, I'm shocked that this nigga was able to pull that chick...hell, I'm shocked he'd be able to pull any chick lol. Then the fact that she spit some terrible sing song wackness and THEN styled on him while HE was wearing fuzzy pink headphones just took it over the top. No, no, I'm lying. This .gif pic is really what took it over the top:
Yep, ain't no coming back from that lol.
March 24, 2009
Either/Or: Sicker Pre-Game Introduction
Shaq going bowling
OR
LeBron's photoshoot
I'm gonna have to go with LeBron here, that shit was nice. Both were great though and I appreciate the guys out there having FUN because at the end of the day this is a GAME. Reminds me of the good ol' days before the National Football League turned into the No Fun League. Sad.
February 22, 2009
Either/Or: More Disrespectful
Kobe's block on Corey Maggette
OR
Shannon Brown's block of some nigga from the Hawks
Man, both were pretty bad, but I gotta go with that Shannon Brown! That was almost not even right. They should have T'd him up for embarrassing that nigga like that lol.
