BUS DRIVER UPPERCUT PARODY

These hoes be actin up and I be uppercuttin em!

CANCELLATION FEES

Check out the new video!

THE GAME REVEALS NEW ALBUM COVER

This nigga going to Hell like a muhfucka lol.

BILL SIMMONS AND JALEN ROSE JOIN NBA COUNTDOWN

I'm super excited about this.

DOWNLOAD THE REAL NIGGA SEXTAPE!

It's not to late to download Young Real Nigga's new classic!

December 30, 2012

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 17


1) Cowboys (8-7) @ Redskins (9-6)
Welcome to the NFC East Championship Game! To make the playoffs, the Redskins need to either win or have losses by the Vikings and Bears. For the Cowboys it's much simpler: win and you're in.

Win and you're in. Sigh. Those have haunted the Cowboys in recent history. All they had to do in 2008 was beat the Eagles and they were in. They loss 44-6 in Philly. All they had to do in 2011 was beat the Giants and they were in. They loss 31-14 in New York. Now all they have to do is beat the Redskins in Washington and they're in.

I know you've heard it all over ESPN and NFL Network this week, but it should be noted that since 2000, the Cowboys are 2-10 in Week 17. That sounds bad until you realize the only 2 Week 17 victories came within the past 3 years (beat the Eagles in 2009 and 2010). Also, in the 2 previous win-and-you're-in scenarios the Cowboys faced, Tony Romo was hurt coming in (bruised back in 2008 and bruised throwing hand in 2009), this time he is healthy. Speaking of health, when the Cowboys and Redskins squared off on Thanksgiving Day, the 'Boys were missing both running back DeMarco Murray and center Ryan Cook, both of whom will play Sunday. I know you feel me leaning that way, so let me go ahead and confirm that I think the Cowboys go into the nation's capital and leave with a W. Cowboys winners, Redskins losers.

2) Packers (11-4) @ Vikings (9-6)
The Packers can clinch a first-round bye with a win or losses by the 49ers and Seahawks. The Vikings can clinch a playoff spots with a win or losses by the Bears, Cowboys, and Giants. Adrian Peterson can clinch the new single-season rushing record with 208 yards and/or a 2,000-yard season with 102 yards.

I think this will be a tight game, but in the end Christian Ponder won't be able to carry his team to victory and Adrian Peterson will fall short of Eric Dickerson. Packers winners, Vikings losers.

3) Texans (12-3) @ Colts (10-5)
Houston needs to win to clinch home-field advantage, and Indianapolis can't go up or down, but all I have to say about this game is ChuckStrong. Colts winners, Texans losers.

4) Bears (9-6) @ Lions (4-11)
Chicago needs a win and a Minnesota loss to make the playoffs, but for some reason they're trash talking the soup can that has nothing to play for. Sadly, I can't get too excited about a team that's loss 7 straight. Bears winners, Lions losers.

5) Eagles (4-11) @ Giants (8-7)
To make it back to the playoffs the Giants need a win and losses by the Cowboys, Vikings, and Bears. That's a pretty long shot, so I say the Giants no-show one last time and Mike Vick gets one last victory as an Eagle. Eagles winners, Giants losers.

6) Rams (7-7-1) @ Seahawks (10-5)
The Seahawks have an outside shot at winning the #2 seed with a win and losses by the Packers and 49ers, plus have a relatively young roster, so I'm sure they will won't be resting starters Sunday. Also, an undefeated season at home is on the line. Seahawks winners, Rams losers.

7) Dolphins (7-8) @ Patriots (11-4)
New England needs a win and a loss by either Denver or Houston to get a first-round bye. If both Denver and Houston lose, the New England would become the #1 seed and have home-field advantage throughout the playoffs because they beat both teams this season. Unfortunately, Denver plays Kansas City, so they won't be happening. Either way, the Pats need this game and I think they're going to get it, even though the Dolphins won't go down without a fight. Patriots winners, Dolphins losers.

8) Cardinals (5-10) @ 49ers (10-4-1)
The 49ers can grab a first-round bye with a win and a Packers loss, so they're definitely showing up to play after taking a vacation last week. 49ers winners, Cardinals losers.

9) Chiefs (2-13) @ Broncos (12-3)
All Denver needs is a win and they lock up the #2 seed in the AFC and a first round bye, and I don't see the lowly team in Kansas City stopping them from doing so. Broncos winners, Chiefs losers.

10) Ravens (10-5) @ Bengals (9-6)
Baltimore could move up to the #3 seed with a win and a New England loss, Cincinnati is locked into the #6 seed. Starters are supposed to play for both team, but I'm not sure how much, so I'm picking this game pretty much at random. Bengals winners, Ravens losers.

11) Panthers (6-9) @ Saints (7-8)
Even though this game means absolutely nothing for anyone (except maybe Ron Rivera), but I think this will still be one of the most exciting games of the week. I like New Orleans to win another shoot out. Saints winners, Panthers losers.

12) Browns (5-10) @ Steelers (7-8)
1) The Steelers aren't going to lose to the Browns twice in one season. 2) Thad Lewis is starting for the Browns. 3) Thad Lewis isn't beating the Steelers...or anyone else for that matter. Steelers winners, Browns losers.

13) Buccaneers (6-9) @ Falcons (13-2)
Atlanta has the top seed in the NFC locked up, thus nothing to play for Sunday, but Tampa has been playing like they've had nothing to play for since they last played Atlanta on November 25th. Falcons winners, Buccaneers losers.

14) Jets (6-9) @ Bills (5-10)
Apparently Greg McElroy suffered a concession last week and now Mark Sanchez is the starter again. Hooray!

Some are saying Sanchez is auditioning for a job, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was the Jets starting QB at the beginning of next season because they owe him too much damn money. Tough break niggas.

Anyway, the Bills haven't beat the Jets since the first time they faced Rex Ryan in 2009, so as much as I don't want to I have to take the Jets. Jets winners, Bills losers.

15) Raiders (4-11) @ Chargers (6-9)
Carson Palmer is out and I don't know who they're gonna start (but to be fair to myself, nearly do the Raiders), so I'll take the Chargers to win Norv Turner's farewell game. Chargers winners, Raiders losers.

16) Jaguars (2-13) @ Titans (5-10)
I don't even know, and like most people (including those in Jacksonville and Tennessee) I don't care. Titans winners, Jaguars losers.

This Week: 0-0 (.000)
Last Week: 10-6 (.625)
Season: 153-86-1 (.640)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

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Tinashe - Ecstasy


Might as well add this to the things I intended to post previous and didn't for whatever reason. Anyway, this chick Tinashe is ridiculously gorgeous and me and my penis are no huge fans. Check her out for yourself.

Want more? Check out her YouTube channel.

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Cee-Lo Green - Mary Did You Know


I meant to post the audio of this when it came out earlier this month, but did that thing I do where I forgot simple things. Anyway, here it is with some pretty powerful visuals. Enjoy!

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Santa's Helpers & Thanksgiving Dinner


Yes, both of these video are old, but gotdammit are they funny! Shout out to the Hudson boys and Gary Owen.

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A Barely Carol!


I know Christmas is over, but I just got a chance to watch this the other day and thoroughly enjoyed it.


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December 27, 2012

Thursday Billboard Update - 12/27/12

Debuting at #2 this week is T.I.'s Trouble Man, which opens with 179,000 copies sold. Remarkably, Bruno Mars' incredible 2nd album, Unorthodox Jukebox, only falls 8% in its 2nd week (2-3) and moves 178,000 more units.

Over on the Hot 100, Bruno Mars' Locked Out Of Heaven remains at #1 for a 3rd straight week. Also, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' Thift Shop joins the top 10, jumping 13-10.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Taylor Swift - Red (1-1)
2. T.I. - Trouble Man (2)
3. Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox (2-3)
4. One Direction - Take Me Home (4-4)
5. Michael Buble - Christmas (3-5)
6. Rod Stewart - Merry Christmas, Baby (5-6)
7. Phillip Phillips - The World From The Side Of The Moon (7-7)
8. Mumford & Sons - Babel (11-8)
9. Various Artists - 12-12-12 The Concert For Sandy Relief (9)
10. Various Artists - Now 44 (12-10)
  • Chief Keef's garbage debut album Finally Rich debuts at #29 with 50,000 copies sold.

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (1-1)
2. Rihanna - Diamonds (2-2)
3. Lumineers - Ho Hey (3-3)
4. Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble (10-4)
5. Justin Bieber - Beauty & A Beat (7-5)
6. Ke$ha - Die Young (4-6)
7. Maroon 5 - One More Night (5-7)
8. Flo Rida - I Cry (6-8)
9. Phillip Phillips - Home (8-9)
10. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Thift Shop (13-10)
  • 2 Chainz's I'm Different skips 9 spots 42-33.
  • Maroon 5's Daylight jumps 12 spots 58-46.
  • Chief Keef's Love Sosa also jumps 12 spots 82-70 this week.
  • Big Sean's Guap hops 11 spots 89-78.
  • Trinidad James' All Gold Everything jumps 15 spots 96-81.
  • KiD CuDi's likely shitty King Wizard debuts at #95.

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December 25, 2012

Naughty Or Nice 2



RELATED:
Naughty Or Nice

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December 23, 2012

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 16

1) 49ers (10-3-1) @ Seahawks (9-5)
It doesn't look like Justin Smith is gonna be able to play in this game, and that definitely hurts San Francisco, but I like them to handle business in Seattle. I'm still not a believer in their team, I'm sorry. 49ers winners, Seahawks losers.

2) Giants (8-6) @ Ravens (9-5)
I know the Giants got blanked last week in Atlanta, but the Ravens are just too injured and too fraudulent to win again this season. Giants winners, Ravens losers.

3) Bengals (8-6) @ Steelers (7-7)
Am I the only one who thinks everyone is panicking over the Steelers a tad bit early? Are they really gonna lose these last 2 home games and miss the playoffs? I don't know, I just don't see it happening. Steelers winners, Bengals losers.

4) Vikings (8-6) @ Texans (12-2)
If Christian Ponder can't throw for 200 yards against Houston he should be benched for Joe Webb. Hell, he should be benched for Joe Webb any-damn-way, that nigga is terrible. With what Adrian Peterson has done this year, it makes no sense for Minnesota to be struggling for a playoff spot. Texans winners, Vikings losers.

5) Saints (6-8) @ Cowboys (8-6)
I said last week that Dallas will make sure this season ends in the most excruciating way possible for me and the only way for that to be true would be for them to win this game. Besides that, I've read more than once today that New Orleans would purposely try to lose this game to help the Cowboys make the playoffs because if they don't Jason Garrett might get canned and Jerry Jones might try to steal Sean Payton. While I know all the folks I read bring it up were joking, it actually wouldn't be a bad strategy, to be honest. Cowboys winners, Saints losers.

6) Redskins (8-6) @ Eagles (4-10)
RG3 is going to start this game, but it really wouldn't matter if Mike Shanahan started at QB, Washington has this shit sown up. It'd be nice if Philly played like they were getting paid in what will likely be Andy Reid's last home game as head coach, but I wouldn't count on it. Redskins winners, Eagles winners.

7) Browns (5-9) @ Broncos (11-3)
The Browns have played tough for most of the season, but if they couldn't beat Kirk Cousins, they aren't beating Peyton Manning. Broncos winners, Browns losers.

8) Falcons (12-2) @ Lions (4-10)
Calvin Johnson broke Jerry Rice's record, so at least Detroit had something to root for. Falcons winners, Lions losers.

9) Titans (5-9) @ Packers (10-4)
Surprisingly, Green Bay hasn't blown too many team out this season, so I don't see that on the horizon (though Tennessee is very "blow-out-able"). I just see a nice, fairly comfortable win. Packers winners, Titans losers.

10) Bears (8-6) @ Cardinals (5-9)
I thought the Cardinals were done winning games in the 2012 season, but they proved me wrong last week. Oh well, let's not get carried away and think they're gonna win 2 straight. Bears winners, Cardinals losers.

11) Rams (6-7-1) @ Buccaneers (6-8)
What happened to Tampa? They started cold, got really hot in the middle of the season, and now they're cold again. They're hot streak lasted about as long as Hurrican Chris. Rams winners, Buccaneers losers.

12 Bills (5-9) @ Dolphins (6-8)
The Bills just allowed the Seahawks to hang 50 on them, I feel pretty comfortable saying the Phins will win this one. Dolphins winners, Bills losers.

13) Patriots (10-4) @ Jaguars (2-12)
Uhhh, yeah. Patriots winners, Jaguars losers.

14) Colts (9-5) @ Chiefs (2-12)
Not that they needed it to take down the Chiefs, but Chuck Pagano has been medically cleared to return to the team. A date has yet to be announced, but hopefully he makes his return in the playoffs, so people can make some more of that ChuckStrong paper. Colts winners, Chiefs losers.

15) Raiders (4-10) @ Panthers (5-9)
Terrelle Pryor is supposed to get some snaps in this game, so good thing the Oakland didn't trade first and second round draft picks for another quarterback last year. Panthers winners, Raiders losers.

16) Chargers (5-9) @ Jets (6-8)
The Jets are afraid that if they start Tim Tebow for the benched Mark Sanchez, he'll win and they'll be stuck with him next year, so they're starting Greg McIlroy instead. Again I ask, why did the Jets trade for Tim Tebow? Good thing they're only playing the Chargers. Jets winners, Chargers losers.

This Week: 10-6 (.625)
Last Week: 12-4 (.750)
Season: 153-86-1 (.640)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

Continue»

December 22, 2012

Calvin Johnson Breaks Jerry Rice's Single-Season Receiving Yards Record


With 225 yards on 11 catches, tonight Calvin Johnson surpassed Jerry Rice (1,848) and became the new single-season receiving yards record holder. Currently, Johnson has 1,892, but with one more game left in the season, he has a shot to be the first receiver to ever crack 2,000 yards in a season (he just needs 108 more yards, if you didn't want to do the math yourself).

Question: Does this mean the Madden Curse is now dead?

SOURCE

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Gangnam Style Becomes First Billion-View YouTube Video


Unbelievable, but congrats to Psy. I don't see this video being passed any time soon...or any time ever.

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Eminem & Dr. Dre - Detrox???


Great song and video, but Affion, you gotta spare us with the super long damn intro. I thought the damn song was never gonna begin, shit took damn near as long as Detox.

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December 20, 2012

Thursday Billboard Update - 12/20/12


Bruno Mars' Unorthodox Jukebox debuts at #2 with week with a robust 192,000 albums sold. Coming in at #6 is The Game's Jesus Piece with 86,000 sold.

Over on the Hot 100, Bruno Mars' Locked Out Of Heaven remains at #1 for a second week...and that's about it.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Taylor Swift - Red (1-1)
2. Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox (2)
3. Michael Buble - Christmas (5-3)
4. One Direction - Take Me Home (4-4)
5. Rod Stewart - Merry Christmas, Baby (3-5)
6. The Game - Jesus Piece (6)
7. Phillip Phillips - The World From The Side Of The Moon (9-7)
8. Blake Shelton - Cheers, It's Christmas (8-8)
9. Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire (7-9)
10. Lady Antebellum - On This Winter's Night (11-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (1-1)
2. Rihanna - Diamonds (2-2)
3. Lumineers - Ho Hey (4-3)
4. Ke$ha - Die Young (3-4)
5. Maroon 5 - One More Night (5-5)
6. Flo Rida - I Cry (6-6)
7. Justin Bieber - Beauty & A Beat (9-7)
8. Phillip Phillips - Home (7-8)
9. fun. - Some Nights (8-9)
10. Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble (15-10)

  • A$AP Rocky's Fuckin Problems featuring 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar hops 10 spots 42-32.
  • 2 Chainz's I'm Different jumps 12 spots 54-42.
  • Maroon 5's Daylight soars 19 spots 77-58 in its 2nd week.
  • Wiz Khalifa's Let It Go featuring Akon jumps 12 spots 87-63 in its 2nd week.
  • Chief Keef's Love Sosa debuts at #82 this week. The only reason I'm mentioning this is because I just found out this existed last week.
  • The Game's Celebration featuring Chris Brown, Tyga, Wiz Khalifa & Lil Wayne jumps 10 spots 95-85.
  • Big Sean's Guap debuts at #89.
  • Trinidad James' All Gold Everything debuts at #96.

Continue»

December 16, 2012

All Jerome Everything (Trinidad Jame$ Parody)


It took awhile, but the new video is finally here!

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NFL Winners & Losers: Week 15


1) 49ers (9-3-1) @ Patriots (10-3)
The Patriots average the most points per game in the NFL (36.3) and the 49ers allow the least (14.2), so something has got to give Sunday night. Initially, I was going to pick San Fran, then I found out New England hasn't loss a home game in December since Week 17 of the 2005 season (Tom Brady only threw 8 passes in that game as Bill Belichick decided to rest his starters for the playoffs), and the last time they loss one before that was in Week 16 of the 2002 season.

Oh, and have you realized the Pats haven't loss a game since Richard Sherman got in Tom Brady's face after the game in Seattle? "Thanks, dick. Sincerely, rest of the NFL." Patriots winners, 49ers losers.

(Side note: Poor Donte' Stallworth, it took him 13 weeks to find work and now he's on the IR after one game. Somehow I feel like bad karma and Josh Brent's DUI manslaughter just days before Stallworth's return led to this.)

2) Colts (9-4) @ Texans (11-2)
Man, did I call that Texans game on Monday or what? They'll make up for it this week though. Well, unless the Colts have some ChuckStrong thing planned that I'm not aware of. Texans winners, Colts losers.

3) Giants (8-5) @ Falcons (11-2)
Hopefully New York won't make Atlanta hold its pocket and follow it around again, that's always embarrassing. Giants winners, Falcons losers.

4) Broncos (10-3) @ Ravens (9-4)
I know Jim Caldwell will be calling the offensive plays for the Ravens and you know Jim Caldwell will be calling the offensive plays for the Ravens, but does Jim Caldwell? I wanted to pick Baltimore, but how can I put my trust in a dead guy's game plan? Broncos winners, Ravens losers.

5) Packers (9-4) @ Bears (8-5)
If Russell Wilson could come into Chicago and get a win, I don't see why Aaron Rodgers can't. Make sense, right? Right. Packers winners, Bears losers.

6) Steelers (7-6) @ Cowboys (7-6)
As I was celebrating a rare victory in a game Dallas had to win, it slowly began to sink in that it would make far more sense if they also won their next 2 games, set up a win-and-you're-in playoff scenario for Week 17, only to crap the bed and watch RGIII and company celebrate a playoff berth in Washington. A yet fitting ending to a Cowboys season these days. Cowboys winners, Steelers losers.

7) Redskins (7-6) @ Browns (5-8)
RGIII allegedly won't be starting this game, despite practicing all week, but doesn't this feel like a trap? Cleveland is playing pretty well and this will be Kirk Cousins first career start, the smell of trap is getting stronger. You can't fool me though, Washington. Redskins winners, Browns losers.

8) Vikings (7-6) @ Rams (6-6-1)
The Rams have a good run defense and the Vikings' only strength is running, so in theory the Rams should win, right? Wrong! This is Adrian Peterson we're talking about here. Vikings winners, Rams losers.

9) Buccaneers (6-7) @ Saints (5-8)
New Orleans' playoff hopes crashed and burned last week in New York, and Tampa Bay's is heading the same way after blowing a game to Philly. The reason I said all of this? Beats me. Saints winners, Buccaneers losers.

10) Seahawks (8-5) @ Bills (5-8)
No Fred Jackson, no Eric Wood, are we sure this isn't 2011? Seahawks winners, Bills losers.

11) Panthers (4-9) @ Chargers (5-8)
Wait, the Chargers won another game this season? So teams don't just have to be pathetic because they've lost a few games straight? Someone should inform the Cardinals. But yeah, I'm going for 2 in a row for Norv because while it seems like Ron Rivera should have the advantage facing his old defensive unit, but he doesn't because he's Ron Rivera. Chargers winners, Panthers losers.

12) Bengals (7-6) @ Eagles (4-9)
Wait, the Eagles won too? Madness! Well unfortunately for them, I don't see back-to-back wins in their future like I do for the Chargers; the Bengals are still very much in the playoff hunt and they usually beat down shitty teams. Bengals winners, Eagles losers.

13) Jets (6-7) @ Titans (4-9)
Steelers-Cowboys, Niners-Pats, Packers-Bears, Colts-Texans, Giants-Falcons, all these awesome match-ups and ESPN picked this one? Yikes! Of course they had no way of knowing how the season would shake out, but I would've picked any of those other match-ups over this one even before last season began. Oh well, I guess MNF had to come back to Earth after nailing Giants-Redskins and Texans-Pats the past 2 weeks, even though the latter was a blowout.

In other news, the Jets signed Braylon Edwards this week after unsuccessfully trying to trade for him earlier this season when he was still with the Seahawks. Good thing he wasn't just on their team a couple years ago and they willingly decided to not re-sign him. Hey, wait a minute... Titans winners, Jets losers.

14) Jaguars (2-11) @ Dolphins (5-8)
Welcome to the Chad Henne Bowl! I know Chad will want to get back at the team that let him go, but I don't think he will. Dolphins winners, Jaguars losers.

15) Lions (4-9) @ Cardinals (4-9)
Has any other team in NFL history ever start 4-0 and ended 0-12? If not, Arizona is about to make some history. Cardinals winners, Lions losers.

16) Chiefs (2-11) @ Raiders (3-10)
Both of these teams are so bad I don't even know who to pick, so I'm just gonna take Oakland since they're at home. Raiders winners, Chiefs losers.

This Week: 12-4 (.750)
Last Week: 9-7 (.563)
Season: 143-80-1 (.641)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

Continue»

December 14, 2012

Worst Houseguest Ever!


Usually I don't post most of the skits I watch, but this once had me rollin'! I don't know if I'm just feeling a little giggly tonight because I'm shooting a new video tomorrow or what, but I loved this.

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Epic Chef: Breakfast Challenge



I talked about it the other day and here it is, the first episode of "Epic Chef!" Harley came off a tad too douchey for my taste, but I still enjoyed the first episode.

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T.I. - Trap Back Jumpin (Short Film)


T.I. seems to be on a mission to get us to hear his new album in its entirety before it comes out this Tuesday, so enjoy his new music video/short film and the new track he dropped today with A$AP Rocky.

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Turk Drops First Music Video After 9 Years In Prison

Good for him, glad he's home to take care of his family. Now all we need is B.G. to get and we can get this Hot Boyz reunion poppin' for real this time!

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December 13, 2012

"A Haunted House" Red Band Trailer


I don't know why, but when I originally clicked on this I thought it was gonna be corny, but it actually turned out to be really funny. You can't really go wrong when you put cats like Marlon Wayans, Cedric The Entertainer, David Koechner, Nick Swardson, and Affion Crockett together.

"A Haunted House" hit theaters January 11th.

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"The Heat" Trailer


I could've sworn I wrote something about Spoken Reasons being in this movie with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, but when I searched through my archives, I found nothing. Oh well, as you can see, Spoken plays a starring role in this new film called "The Heat," which hits theaters April 5th.

Now I could be mistaken, but I believe this is the biggest look a YouTuber has had in a movie ever. I know Shane Dawson starred in that movie "Smiley" earlier this year, but that was an independent movie and "The Heat is going to be a wide release. I can't think of any others, but regardless, this is huge for YouTubers everywhere! Shout out to Spoken Reasons!

Oh yeah, Bill Burr is in this movie also, so if I wasn't going to see if for Spoke, I definitely was going to for Burr.

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Dez Bryant Postpones Surgery, Will Try To Play

As most of you know, Dez Bryant is dealing with a fractured left index finger and was given the option of having surgery or try to play through it with long term implications lingering. Today, Dez has decided to forgo surgery and attempt to play this Sunday against the Steelers.

Now while I applaud his heart and willingness to try and help his team, I think this is an absolutely awful idea. I'm a Cowboys, but even I can admit we aren't going anywhere this year, so why risk doing long term damage to your hand in more-than-likely meaningless season? Plus, how effective can he even be playing while wearing a splint to protect his broken finger? Will he even be 70% of his normal self? Hell, even if he is 70% of his normal self, I rather just play Kevin Olgetree or Dwayne Harris because at least they're healthy.

Yes, I would love to have him on the field Sunday, but the risk is too high and I say we shut him down immediately.

SOURCE

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Thursday Billboard Update - 12/13/12


Taylor Swift's Red returns to #1 and denies Wiz Khalifa his first chart topper. Wiz's O.N.I.F.C. claims #2 with 141,400 copies sold.

Over on the Hot 100, Bruno Mars scores his 4th #1 record as Locked Out Of Heaven ascends 2-1. This chart topper makes Bruno the fastest male artist to 4 #1 records in 48 years. The only song entering the top 10 this week is Justin Bieber's Beauty & A Beat featuring Nicki Minaj (14-9), which pushes Psy's Gangnam Style (10-11) out of the door.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Taylor Swift - Red (2-1)
2. Wiz Khalifa's O.N.I.F.C. (2)
3. Rod Stewart - Merry Christmas, Baby (3-3)
4. One Direction - Take Me Home (4-4)
5. Michael Buble - Christmas (7-5)
6. Ke$ha - Warrior (6)
7. Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire (1-7)
8. Blake Shelton - Cheers, It's Christmas (9-8)
9. Phillip Phillips - The World From The Side Of The Moon (5-9)
10. Florida Georgia Line - Here's To The Good Times (10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (2-1)
2. Rihanna - Diamonds (1-2)
3. Ke$ha - Die Young (3-3)
4. Lumineers - Ho Hey (5-4)
5. Maroon 5 - One More Night (4-5)
6. Flo Rida - I Cry (8-6)
7. Phillip Phillips - Home (7-7)
8. fun. - Some Nights (6-8)
9. Justin Bieber - Beauty & A Beat (14-9)
10. Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (9-10)

  • A$AP Rocky's Fuckin Problems featuring 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar flies 17 spots 59-42.
  • 2 Chainz's I'm Different jumps 11 spots 63-54.
  • Bruno Mars' When I Was Your Man debuts at #69.
  • Maroon 5's Daylight debuts at #77.
  • Wiz Khalifa's Let It Go featuring Akon debuts at #87.

Continue»

December 11, 2012

Epic Meal Time Cooking Arsenal + New TV Show!


First off, the fine folks over at Epic Meal Time are now selling their full epic cooking arsenal online (bacon sold separately)! So if you have an extra 100 bucks laying around and need some new kitchen tools, head over to EpicMealTime.com/Smart and pre-order yourself the epic cooking arsenal!

Now, on today's episode of Epic Meal Time it was officially announce that their new show "Epic Chef" would be premiering this Friday the 14th on YouTube. Last year it was announced that EMT was working on a pilot for G4, so hopefully this isn't that and it's still coming to a TV near you sooner or later.

Now enjoy Harley's recent visit to Snoop Dogg's GGN show:

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December 10, 2012

Mystikal Monday Ep. 9


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NBA Hits 1 Billion YouTube Views

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December 08, 2012

Surprise! Johnny Manziel Wins Heisman

Guess what? Johnny Manziel won Heisman! I know, I know, I can't believe it either! I'm just as shocked as you.

...What's that? You can believe it, you say? You're not at all shocked... at all? You say you knew he was gonna win ever since college sports couldn't be reported on without someone mentioning his name? Well then, fine.

Seriously though, I meant to talk about this on the podcast yesterday and forgot, but what are the chances Johnny Football is as well known as he is because people just like saying Johnny Football? Not to say the kid can't ball, but I'd say at least some of his success has to be contributed to his awesome nickname that everyone loves saying. You know, the expect opposite of what it's gonna be like for New Orleans' NBA team once they officially change their name to the Pelicans.

Anyway, congrats to Johnny for becoming the first freshman to ever be a Heisman trophy winner.

SOURCE

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Pusha T's Wrath Of Caine Mixtape Trailer


Cool, can't wait.

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December 07, 2012

Wait, Lady Gaga Is Attractive??


I'm a few weeks late on these teasers for Lady Gaga's new song Cake, but wow! Who knew under all the meat and other ridiculous wardrobe choices was a mad decent whooty (definition: white girl with a booty)?! I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to have sex with Lady Gaga now, and I certainly didn't feel that way when I woke up this morning. I guess you really can't judge a book by it's cover, or in this case, by what covers it.


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Jungle Pussy - Cream Team


Just in case you were looking for it for some reason, here's the video by female rapper Jungle Pussy I talked about on the podcast today. See, I told you she had nice tits, and look, she even has the same old FUBU jersey as me! Isn't that cool? Okay, I guess not, but I figured I'd point it out anyway.

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NFL Winners & Losers: Week 14



1) Texans (11-1) @ Patriots (9-3)
Houston's defensive line slaps more balls than a gay pornstar, but when I think about their secondary, I can't help but think about the time Aaron Rodgers threw for 6 touchdowns on them, or the time Matt Stafford threw for a season high 441 yards on them, or the time Chad Henne threw for a career high 4 touchdowns on them. I know New England is down both Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman, but I think Tom Brady is gonna go off Monday night. Patriots winners, Texans losers.

2) Ravens (9-3) @ Redskins (6-6)
After last Sunday's loss to the Steelers who deserved to be ridiculed more, Joe Flacco for getting outplayed by Charlie Batch, or the Ravens' defense for allowing Charlie Batch to outplay Joe Flacco?

While you try to figure out that one, I'd just like to concede the NFC East to the Redskins now. This is the hardest game they have left on the schedule, and it's not even all that hard of a game. Redskins winners, Ravens losers.

3) Saints (5-7) @ Giants (7-5)
The Saints have beaten the Giants 3 straight times, with an average margin of victory of 23 points. With that being said, I don't see the champs losing for a 4th time in 5 games. Giants winners, Saints losers.

4) Bears (8-4) @ Vikings (6-6)
Vikings fans can get as "super-duper drunk" as they want, but they aren't winning this game unless Christian Ponder kills his fiance the day before the game and the sneaky good Joe Webb gets the start. Bears winners, Vikings losers.

5) Cowboys (6-6) @ Bengals (7-5)
As soon as the Redskins beat the Giants and the Cowboys all of a sudden became just one game out of first place in the NFC East, I knew they'd lose this game. Every time the Cowboys get close, they lose and Sunday won't be any different. Bengals winners, Cowboys losers.

6) Lions (4-8) @ Packers (8-4)
Green Bay quietly has a lot of injuries to key players, but good thing for them Detroit sucks loudly. Packers winners, Lions losers.

7) Falcons (11-1) @ Panthers (3-8)
I don't care if they're at home, if Carolina couldn't beat the garbage ass Chiefs, they're not about to beat Atlanta. Falcons winners, Panthers losers.

8) Rams (5-6-1) @ Bills (5-7)
The last time the Rams went to overtime against the 49ers they came out flat and loss the next week to an AFC East team (Jets), so I'm gonna be lazy and say that happens again. Bills winners, Rams losers.

9) Titans (4-8) @ Colts (8-4)
Divisional games are generally pretty tight, but I don't expect this one to be. Colts winners, Titans losers.

10) Dolphins (5-7) @ 49ers (8-3-1)
I don't have anything to say about this game, so good thing this clip of Jim Harbaugh on a 1996 episode of that version of Saved By The Bell that nobody watched surfaced this week. Look at him, he looks like Brett Favre circa "There's Something About Mary." 49ers winners, Dolphins losers.

11) Cardinals (4-8) @ Seahawks (7-5)
Here's the 9th straight loss for Arizona. Seahawks winners, Cardinals losers.

12) Chargers (4-8) @ Steelers (7-5)
Ben Roethlisberger is back and...well, that's pretty much it. Steelers winners, Chargers losers.

13) Broncos (9-3) @ Raiders (3-9)
The Raiders are terrible and the Broncos handle business against terrible teams (aka 60% of the teams on their schedule). Broncos winners, Raiders losers.

14) Jets (5-7) @ Jaguars (2-10)
Let me get this straight, Mark Sanchez plays terribly for 11 games, but wasn't benched until the 12th game, which Tim Tebow just happened to miss due to injury, despite being medically cleared to return. For the 52nd time I ask: Why did they trade for Tebow again?? Was Rex Ryan hired by satan to derail his career? I seriously don't get it. Jaguars winners, Jets losers.

15) Eagles (3-9) @ Buccaneers (6-6)
That Bryce Brown is pretty damn good but... Philly still isn't gonna win. Eagles losers, Buccaneers losers.

16) Chiefs (2-10) @ Browns (4-8)
I'm trying to restrain myself from making distasteful jokes about Jovan Belcher, so I'll just say I like Cleveland at home. Browns winners, Chiefs losers.

This Week: 9-7 (.563)
Last Week: 9-7 (.563)
Season: 131-76-1 (.635)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

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December 06, 2012

Thursday Billboard Update - 12/6/12

Alicia Keys takes over the #1 spot as Girl On Fire moves 158,600 copies over the past week.

Nothing important is going on on the Hot 100's top 10, same 10 songs from last week in a new order.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire (1)
2. Taylor Swift - Red (2-2)
3. Rod Stewart - Merry Christmas, Baby (6-3)
4. One Direction - Take Me Home (3-4)
5. Phillip Phillips - The World From The Side Of The Moon (4-5)
6. Rihanna - Unapologetic (1-6)
7. Michael Buble - Christmas (16-7)
8. Lady Antebellum - One This Winter's Night (19-8)
9. Blake Shelton - Cheers, It's Christmas (18-9)
10. Kid Rock - Rebel Soul (5-10)
  • Ghostface Killah and Sheek Louch's collaborative album Wu Block debuts at #90 with 8,800 copies sold.

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Rihanna - Diamonds (1-1)
2. Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (4-2)
3. Ke$ha - Die Young (2-3)
4. Maroon 5 - One More Night (3-4)
5. Lumineers - Ho Hey (7-5)
6. fun. - Some Nights (6-6)
7. Phillip Phillips - Home (8-7)
8. Flo Rida - I Cry (9-8)
9. Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (10-9)
10. Psy - Gangnam Style (5-10)
  • Alicia Keys' Girl On Fire featuring Nicki Minaj jumps 10 spots 21-11.
  • Will.i.am's Scream & Shout featuring Britney Spears debuts at #12.
  • 50 Cent's My Life featuring Eminem and Adam Levine debuts at #27.
  • 2 Chainz's I'm Different flies 16 spots 79-63.
  • Wiz Khalifa's Remember You featuring The Weeknd jumps 16 spots 98-82.
  • Ludacris' Representin' featuring Kelly Rowland debuts at #97.

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December 05, 2012

Kobe Bryant Becomes 5th Player To Score 30,000 Points

In a win over the New Orleans Hornets Pelicans, Kobe Bean Bryant netted 29 points and became the youngest player to reach 30,000 points after his 13th point of the night (he has 30,016 as of tonight). And not only is he the youngest to 30,000, but he's also only the 5th player to ever do it (Wilt, Jordan, Malone, and Kareem are the others).

Welp, only 2,276 more to catch Jordan.

Kobe30kpts

SOURCE

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New Orleans Hornets Changing Nickname To Pelicans


The logo above is not a prototype for New Orleans' future logo. It actually belongs to a Finnish hockey team called the Lahti Pelicans, but I'm sure sure their logo will be equally as lame, which is why going from the Hornets to the Pelicans is completely retardede. I understand that the brown pelican is Louisiana's state bird and it's represented on everything from their flag to their quarter, but that doesn't stop it from being a dumb fucking idea.

If I played for New Orleans, I'd want no part of being a Pelican. In fact, if I was Anthony Davis, I'd ask for a trade yesterday. Hell, I'd rather them nickname the team the 'Brows over something as corny as the Pelicans. I'm sorry, pelicans just aren't cool and no one is coming to see the Pelicans.

David Stern has to veto this for basketball reasons, right? If he can video the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers, why can't he veto this name trade? Or least tell the Jazz they have a season to give New Orleans it's name back. Something! I'm just so...I don't even know. This is just such a fail all the way around.

 SOURCE

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December 03, 2012

DMX Rips Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer


Ripped it!

I know this is a Christmas video, but I don't know how they managed to hang onto this for as long as they did. Impressive restraint by the fine folks at Power 105.1!

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LeBron James Named SI's Sportsman Of The Year

And rightfully so, there probably won't be many times a guy wins league MVP, an NBA championship, Finals MVP, and a gold medal in the Olympics and not when Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year.

Anyway, here's LeBron speaking on the honor:


Not sure how or why LeBron was "very shocked" by winning this (read first paragraph), but whatever, congrats.

SOURCE

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December 01, 2012

50 Cent Exposes French Montana


Remember back in '09 when the 50 Cent/Rick Ross beef was ablaze? If so, you may recall a video 50 released called A Psychic Told Me, which had had footage of DJ Khaled's mom's house and of her asleep at work. Well, according to 50, that footage was supplied by none other than friend of MMG, French Montana. Explosive!

It's a good thing French decided to sign with Bad Boy instead of MMG because we could've had an Alfamega situation on our hands. For French's sake, I hope it's not true, but 50 has never been known to be a liar.

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Nicki Minaj Slowed Down Sounds Like A Gay Version Of Jay-Z


It's true! It's true! LMAO!! Check out this slowed down version of Big Sean's Ass remix too! Matter of fact, just check them all out here!

Shout out to whoever discovered that slowed down Nicki Minaj is Gay-Z!

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Rembert Explains Lionel Richie's Hello


This very well could be my favorite Grantland Network video thus far. So good, and sadly, so true; Lionel Richie is a creeper.

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Agent Hashtag


This shit is brilliant! LMAO!

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Cee-Lo Green - All I Need Is Love Video (feat. The Muppets)



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NFL Winners & Losers: Week 13



1) Giants (7-4) @ Redskins (5-6)
Fuck! RGIII is so good it pisses me off! Why couldn't St. Louis just take him with the 2nd pick and trade Sam Bradford away? FUCK!

As far as this game goes, initially I was going to go with RGIII, but it would make too much sense for the kid to come up short after undressing the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Besides, what are the chances the Giants destroyed the Packers only to lose to the Redskins the very next week? Giants winners, Redskins losers.

2) Steelers (6-5) @ Ravens (9-2)
Ben Roethlisberger has once again been ruled out for the Steelers, so they will again turn to Charlie Batch. (Remember when people were all pissy when Mike Tomlin wouldn't put Batch in even after Doug E. Fresh's illegitimate son, Byron Leftwich, broke his ribs? Don't hear too much from that crowd anymore, do we?) Not only are the Ravens undefeated in games against the Steelers that Big Ben doesn't play in, but they've also won their last 15 games in Baltimore. Ravens winners, Steelers losers.

3) Saints (5-6) @ Falcons (10-1)
No, I didn't know Drew Brees was gonna throw 5 interceptions, but I did know the Falcons weren't gonna get swept in the season series by this version of the Saints. Falcons winners, Saints losers.

4) Buccaneers (6-5) @ Broncos (8-3)
As much as I'd like to see Tampa lose this game so Dallas could have an outside shot at the last wild card spot, I just have a feeling Denver is in for a stinker. Yes, Peyton Manning is back, Champ Bailey owns Vincent Jackson, and Tampa has a secondary ripe for the picking, but I just have a feeling about this one. Buccaneers winners, Broncos losers.

5) Seahawks (6-5) @ Bears (8-3)
The Seahawks on the road? I don't care if Peanut Tillman's foot in cut off, I'm still taking the home team. Bears winners, Seahawks losers.

6) Vikings (6-5) @ Packers (7-4)
Obviously Green Bay stunk up the joint last Sunday night in New York, but I like them to bounce back against an old rival. Packers winners, Vikings losers.

7) 49ers (8-2-1) @ Rams (4-6-1)
Jim Harbaugh is a really good coach, but his handling of his quarterback situation has been awful. Alex Smith has every right to complain because at the end of the day, all he did to lose his job was get a concussion. Nothing again Colin Kaepernick, but it's true.

Meanwhile, the last time these 2 teams played we had a tie. This time I say things are a little more decisive now that Kaepernick is properly prepared to face the Rams this time. 49ers winners, Rams losers.

8) Patriots (8-3) @ Dolphins (5-6)
The only hope the Dolphins have here is if the sprinklers go off during the game again and Tom Brady sprains his ankle trying to run off the field to make sure his Uggs don't get wet. Patriots winners, Dolphins losers.

9) Colts (7-4) @ Lions (4-7)
Anybody shaving their head before this game in honor of Chuck Pagano? I should wait until I find out to pick this game, but if they got 2 cheerleaders to do it last week, I'm sure Indy can round up somebody to take the L for good karma. Well, until they do, I've got the home team. Lions winners, Colts losers.

10) Texans (10-1) @ Titans (4-7)
The Texans are coming off of 10 days of rest, but before that, they played 10 quarters of football in the span of 4 days. Plus, this is a divisional game, so while I'm not predicting an upset, I do see this game being a lot closer than it probably should be in the end. Texans winners, Titans losers.

11) Bengals (6-5) @ Chargers (4-7)
Cincinnati isn't a great team, but they usually beat the bad team in from of them, and San Diego is a bad team. Bengals winners, Chargers losers.

12) Jaguars (2-9) @ Bills (4-7)
I really don't have an angle here, I just think Buffalo is going to win. Bills winners, Jaguars winners.

13) Eagles (3-8) @ Cowboys (5-6)
No Vick, no McCoy, no fight left; if the Cowboys don't win this game it's officially time to tank the rest of the season. Cowboys winners, Eagles losers.

14) Cardinals (4-7) @ Jets (4-7)
Yes, the Jets are a disgrace to the NFL, but aren't the Cardinals — losers of 7 straight — disgraces too? I say yes, and I also say Mark Sanchez runs into no one's butt and fumbles this week. Jets winners, Cardinals losers.

15) Panthers (3-8) @ Chiefs (1-10)
Kansas City put up a little fight at Arrowhead last weekend, but I'm sure that was mostly because they were playing a division rival. They won't show up this Sunday. Panthers winners, Chiefs losers.

16) Browns (3-8) @ Raiders (3-8)
The Browns haven't won a road game since Week 2...of last year! And even that was against the then-lowly Colts. They do have one thing going for themselves though, and it's that they're playing the Raiders. Browns winners, Raiders losers.

This Week: 9-7 (.563)
Last Week: 11-5 (.686)
Season: 122-69-1 (.638)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

Continue»

November 29, 2012

Thursday Billboard Update - 11/29/12

Rihanna's Unapologetic takeover at #1 this week with 238,000 copies sold. It is the shitty singer's first chart topping album. Keyshia Cole's Woman To Woman debuts at #10 with 95,900 copies sold.

In addition to topping the Billboard 200, Rihanna also remains atop the Hot 100 for a 2nd week with Diamonds. She's the first artist to hold both top spots since Adele's 21 and Set Fire To The Rain did it back in February.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Rihanna - Unapologetic (1)
2. Taylor Swift - Red (2-2)
3. One Direction - Take Me Home (1-3)
4. Phillip Phillips - The World From The Side Of The Moon (4)
5. Kid Rock - Rebel Soul (5)

6. Rod Stewart - Merry Christmas, Baby (6-6)
7. P!nk - The Truth About Love (22-7)
8. Jason Aldean - Night Train (13-8)
9. Led Zeppelin - Celebration Day (9)
10. Keyshia Cole - Woman To Woman (10)


  • Pitbull's Warning debuts at #14 with 63,800 sold.
The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Rihanna - Diamonds (1-1)
2. Ke$ha - Die Young (3-2)
3. Maroon 5 - One More Night (2-3)
4. Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven (4-4)
5. Psy - Gangnam Style (7-5)
6. fun. - Some Nights (5-6)
7. Lumineers - Ho Hey (8-7)
8. Phillip Phillips - Home (12-8)
9. Flo Rida - I Cry (10-9)
10. Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (6-10)
  • Pitbull's Don't Stop The Party soars 31 spots 61-30.
  • 2 Chainz's I'm Different flies 19 spots 98-79 in its 2nd week.
  • Wiz Khalifa's Remember You featuring The Weeknd debuts at #98.

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November 28, 2012

Mystikal Monday Ep. 8


I'm already tired of Baby making Mystikal jump on records with Cash Money's C and D-team.

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November 27, 2012

50 Cent - My Life (feat. Eminem & Adam Levine)


Much like the T.I./Andre 3000 track, I'm not sure why 50 didn't save this as a pleasant surprise on the album, but the song is dope.

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T.I. - Sorry (feat. Andre 3000)


Wow. Just wow.

Why wouldn't T.I. save this one for when the album dropped? I know he's kinda cold out here right now (well for T.I.'s standards at least), but this track is special, he should've saved it. Oh well, I am grateful to have heard it because it is incredible, so thank you Tip.

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November 25, 2012

Harrison Barnes Destroys Nikola Pekovic


Goodness. Goodness, goodness, goodness. Shout out to DeMarcus Cousins too, but goodness.

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Gangnam Style Passes Bieber's Baby As Most Watched YouTube Video


My brother and I had been monitoring this for the past few weeks and it finally happened, Psy's Gangnam Style is now the most watched video in YouTube history. Gangnam Style passed Justin Bieber's Baby some time Saturday, and is well on it's way to becoming the first billion-view video in YouTube history. In fact, Psy's smash hit it moving at such an outrage pace that it's possible it could hit that billion-view mark before the year is up.

Remarkable, especially considering that it's only existed for the past 4 months. To put that into prospective, the NBA's YouTube channel has been around since November 2005 and currently has just under 980,000,000 views total. YouTube's most subscribed to user, Ray William Johnson, has been on YouTube since May 2008 and has 6.2 million subscriber, he "just" reached his 2 billionth view last month. Pys is the new king of YouTube.

SOURCE

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NFL Winners & Losers: Week 12

1) Packers (7-3) @ Giants (6-4)
Even though I'm sure the Giants have properly psyched themselves into believing that nobody believes in them, I still think the Packers leave town with a win. They won't have Clay Matthews around to help the cause, but as long as Aaron Rodgers goes out and doesn Aaron Rodgers things, Green Bay should be fine. Packers winners, Giants losers.

2) 49ers (7-2-1) @ Saints (5-5)
Jim Harbaugh still hasn't announced who his starter is gonna be in New Orleans, so I think we're still supposed to act like he didn't pick Colin Kaepernick days ago. When the switch becomes official, I do believe this will be the first time in NFL history that a QB with a 70% completion percentage, 100+ passer rating, and only 5 interceptions has been benched. 49ers winners, Saints losers.

(Side note: Doesn't Colin Kaepernick look like He Pingping, the decease former shortest man in the world?)

3) Falcons (9-1) @ Buccaneers (6-4)
Tampa Bay is 5-1 since their bye week and Atlanta continues to look shaky every week, which means Atlanta is definitely winning this game. It only makes no sense. Falcons winners, Buccaneers losers.

4) Vikings (6-4) @ Bears (7-3)
Jay Cutler has been cleared to play, but I was gonna pick Chicago to win anyway because the Vikings are not the 49ers. Then again, as bad as their offensive line was Monday, 0% of the population would be surprised if Jared Allen and crew re-concussed Cutler. Bears winners, Vikings losers.

5) Bills (4-6) @ Colts (6-4)
Good win by the Bills last week, but I like the Colts to bounce back at home after getting spanked by the Pats last week. Colts winners, Bills losers.

6) Ravens (8-2) @ Chargers (4-6)
Baltimore will make up for all the touchdowns they didn't score last week in Pittsburgh this week in San Diego. Ravens winners, Chargers losers.

7) Steelers (6-4) @ Browns (2-8)
Pittsburgh is on its 3rd starting quarterback in 3 weeks, is that ever a good thing? Meanwhile, Cleveland has played tough all season and if they cut down on the stupid mistake, I don't see why they couldn't win this. Browns winners, Steelers losers.

8) Seahawks (6-4) @ Dolphins (4-6)
Seattle's sole road win came against the 2-win Carolina Panthers, but Miami has looked so pathetic the last couple weeks that I just can't take them until they show me something. Seahawks winners, Dolphins losers.

9) Rams (3-6-1) @ Cardinals (4-6)
Man, what happened to the Rams last week? I really don't want to pick the Cardinals, but how can I pick a team that got killed by the Jets last Sunday? Cardinals winners, Rams losers.

10) Raiders (3-7) @ Bengals (5-5)
Last season Carson Palmer was so adamant about not playing for the Bengals that he decided to retire. This Sunday he returns to Cincinnati for the first time as an Oakland Raider. This one could get ugly. Wait, what am I saying? The Raiders are playing in this game, this one will get ugly. Bengals winners, Raiders losers.

11) Broncos (7-3) @ Chiefs (1-9)
Not that Denver needs to do it, but their mascot is a bronco and Eric Berry is scared of horses. Hmmm, they might wanna keep that one in their back pocket just in case the Chiefs ever get a competent coaching staff. Broncos winners, Chiefs losers.

12) Titans (4-6) @ Jaguars (1-9)
This a divisional game, so it should be close, but I think the Jags are pretty much done winning for this season. Titans winners, Jaguars losers.

13) Panthers (2-8) @ Eagles (3-7)
Am I really gonna pick the Panthers again? I guess I have to, but I really, really don't want to. Gosh, I hate this game so much. Panthers winners, Eagles losers.


Thanksgiving Games

Texans (9-1) @ Lions (4-6)
I really don't know what to make of the Lions, one week they seem to play good, the next they don't. One thing I do know is that the Texans severely underestimated the Jaguars Sunday and that won't happen again. Texans winners, Lions losers.

Redskins (4-6) @ Cowboys (5-5)
Judging solely by the games of this past Sunday, you'd have to say Washington has the edge coming into Thanksgiving, right? The Redskins destroyed the 3-win Eagles while the Cowboys struggled with the 2-win Browns. That's a huge reason I initially was gonna go with the visitors, but then I remembered Tony Romo is 5-0 in Thanksgiving Day games and 13-0 at home in November. Plus, rookie QBs are 1-3 in Thursday games this year, with the only win coming by Andrew Luck against the 1-win Jaguars. The Cowboys' offensive line worries the shit out of me (down to the 3rd string center; best lineman Tyron Smith is questionable for this game), and I think it's gonna be a close game, but... Cowboys winners, Redskins losers.

Patriots (7-3) @ Jets (4-6)
I've been hearing a lot people say it's not Bill Belichick's fault Rob Gronkowski got hurt blocking for New England's 59th point last Sunday, but I'd beg to differ. Yes, your field goal unit is your field goal unit, but why were they still scoring garbage touchdown when the game was clearly over? A 21 point lead wasn't big enough, they had to push it to 28? A 28 point lead wasn't big enough, they had to push it to 35? It would be one thing if the defense scored the touchdowns, but the offense did. I'm sorry, Gronkowski's broken forearm is as much Belichick's fault as it is whoever's body Gronk broke it on.

As far as the Pats-Jets game goes, I know the Jets got a win last week, but they're still pathetic. I wanna take the upset because I hate the Pats, but I just don't see it happening. Patriots winners, Jets losers.

This Week: 11-5 (.686)
Last Week: 11-3 (.786)
Season: 113-62-1 (.645)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.

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