August 10, 2012

Idiocracy 101: Honey Badger, Tyrann Mathieu, Kicked Off LSU's Football Team

You're a surprise Heisman candidate last year, heading into your junior year at LSU, which is coming off a National Champion. One more solid season, and big bucks are staring you in the face as a top NFL draft pick. How do you celebrate your accomplishments?

Well, if you're Tyrann Mathieu, you violate both school and team rules and get kicked out the the football program. Yes, he fucked his money up, now he can't suit up. Smart! Oh well, Honey Badger don't give a shit.

Now while this is bad news for Tyrann (the only way he could play next year is if he transfers to a Division I-AA school, if he transfers to another Division I-A, he has to sit out a year), this is great news for NFL teams. He was probably going pro after this season anyway, but now teams won't have to spend a top 10 pick, or maybe not even a first-rounder, to get him. It'll be like Janoris Jenkins all over again.