Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition Pt. 2

1) Calvin Johnson Signs Richest WR Contract Ever
Doesn't it seem like the biggest WR contract ever is signed every year?? Regardless, Megatron's deal is $132 million for 8 years with $60 million guaranteed. We better never hear stories about him being broke when he stops playing.

2) The Eagles Finally Pay DeSean Jackson
I don't really like DeSean Jackson (mainly because I'm a Cowboys fan), but it's about damn time they paid the man. His deal is 5 years for $51 million

3) Peyton Hillis Signs With The... Chiefs?!
One year for $3 million for Peyton Hillis? What the fuck is going on?? Shit, I thought the Madden curse on lasted one season. Bad times in the Hillis family.

4) Cowboys Sign Brandon Carr, Kyle Orton, Brodney Pool & Lawrence Vickers
I like, I like, I like, I like!

Brandon Carr (5 years, $50.1 million) and Brodney Pool should help out our secondary right away. We still need to grab a couple cornerbacks in the draft, but this is a nice start for our bleeding secondary.

I loved Tony Fiammetta, but I'm more than open to having Lawrence Vickers on the roster, I mean, he did lead block for Arian Foster last season.

And of course Kyle Orton is more than welcomed in Dallas to back up Tony Romo (though I'm sure outsiders will start the "should Orton be the starter?" at some back next season).

5) Jags Sign Laurent Robinson

The deal is 5 years for $32.5 million with $14 million guaranteed. Not bad for a guy on the street at the beginning of last season.

As a Cowboys fan, I'm sad to see Laurent go, but I'm not mad at him one bit. In the NFL, if you have a chance to cash in, your ass better cash in (look at the deal Peyton Hillis just got). Besides, what does this really mean, we have to pass the ball to Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, and Jason Witten more? That's a bad thing? We'll be fine.

Speaking of former Cowboys...

6) Giants Sign Martellus Bennett

Good! I couldn't be more happy about finally getting this clown off our roster and onto the Giants'. Now when he's wide open and drops a pass that hits both of his hands, I can laugh and cheer.

Every damn year we heard about how impressive he was in training camp, then the season started and he never did shit. Good riddance.

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Random News Shit

1) Lil Wayne Pleads Guilty To Gun Charge, Gets 1 Year In Prison
Man, I bet he's really regretting the decision to kiss Baby in the mouth now. Well hopefully he won't be in there calling anybody else daddy. How often will Baby be allowed to come in for conjugal visits?? Will the state provide the KY Jelly or is it a B.Y.O.KY kinda thing?? If Wayne becomes a real life version of the chick in his song Kisha, is that considered copyright infringement?? If T-Pain comes to visit, will they auto-tune the phones connected to the glass?? Will Wayne steal the idea and auto-tune his first?? Does this mean The Rebirth is gonna be pushed back again?? Does this mean Cash Money/Young Money will be forced to let one of their other artists actually drop an album?? Do we need anymore proof the Tiny & Toya show was cursed??

Okay, I think that's enough. Just wanted to get all the bad jokes out the way now lol.

2) ESPN's Steve Phillips Admits To Sex Sandal, Takes Leave
This just goes to show that it don't matter who you are, or what you do, niggas still cheat lol. Its the sad truth, I know, I know.

This shit was wild though! This was about to be Steve McNair part 2 around this bitch. I wouldn't put it past her still.

Oh, and did you see the regular ass bitch he cheated with?? If I was ESPN, I'd fire his ass for cheating with somebody looking like that! C'mon son! Its no wonder she is went crazy, she probably never had dick before lol. At least be like Rick Pitino and make ruining your family worth while with somebody fine. I mean, I never saw his wife, but she's GOT to look better than this chick.

Anyway, check out the 911 call Phillips's wife made when Ug showed up at their crib.

3) R. Kelly To Release Untitled Album Dec. 1st
Can you believe this is only R. Kelly's 10th studio album?? I'll be interested to hear how this sounds and I'm praying for another classic like Real Talk lol.

4) Birdman Think Lil Wayne Should've Been #1
I'm not mad at his opinion, he's supposed to think Wayne should've been #1. Its like being a football player on an average or crappy team and being asked if you're gonna make the playoffs, of course you're gonna say yes. The problem I have his him talking about doing the most and having the most. Come on nigga, you know damn well Wayne is NOT making the kinda money Jay-Z is making. There's really nothing more to argue or say, he's just not. End of story.

5) Trick Daddy Wants To Hook Back Up With Trina
Seems like an easy thing to be done, right?? I know Trick left Slip N Slide and all, but he should be able to just call her up. I mean he's probably gonna have to write her verse anyway so it shouldn't be a problem.

(Emphasis on all the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" in there.)

6) The Trade Jerry Jones Turned Down Was For TE Bennett
The other day, Jerry Jones admitted that he turned down a major deal at the trade deadline, but didn't want to mention who is was, what it was for, or the other team that was involved. Now their are reports out that it was the Bengals who wanted to make a deal, and Martellus Bennett was the man they wanted.

The ESPN report says this is what "sources" told them, but that probably just means Calvin Watkins (who wrote the story) follow Martellus on Twitter because he's really the one who announced it to the world this morning.

Thank goodness Jerry didn't pull the trigger, I like Marty B. His numbers aren't flashy, but he is a big part of the reason are rushing numbers look so good. Besides, he doesn't get the ball thrown his way often anyway and its hard to get stats without getting the ball. Smart move by Jerry. Now if only he had this will power last year when he was offered that bullshit Roy Williams trade.

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The Black Olympics

White people, we appreciate you acting outraged by this, but please stop it! The same goes for the black people in the media who are trying to act outraged and hurt. Boo-fuckin'-woo! There is nothing wrong with this damn video. I could see if these were white guys doing this, but if you hadn't noticed, Martellus and his brother are black. Black people can't eat fried chicken or drink Kool-Aid or eat watermelon anymore?? If I eat that kinda food as a black man, am I being racist against black people too?? The only black people who are racist against themselves are black Republicans. End of list.

The real problem here is people are just too fuckin' sensitive these days. Nobody wants to face the truth so they wanna hide behind it and think of lighter way to put things instead of telling it like it is. If I eat fried chicken I'm racist, if I call you old I'm ageist, if I don't agree with your opinion I'm a hater. Everyone is just so quick to pigeonhole people. Its just too much.

Besides, if Dave Chappelle had done this skit a few years ago on his show, we all would've laughed our collective asses off. Yeah, he's a comedian, but making fun of your own race should never be out of bounds. NEVER! Hell, the entire comedy industry is pretty much built on people making fun of their own race, from black comedians, to white comedians to Asian comedians, to Latino comedians, to Midde-Eastern comedians. It should be a big deal because Martellus is a football player.

And yeah, I know I didn't go up in the 50s and 60s, but eating food that most black people do indeed like is fuckin' harmless! Now, when Marty B makes a video shooting off guns or selling drugs (actual serious problem in the black community), then you can tell me about you're outrage. Until then, shut your fuckin' sensitive sissy ass mouths!

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MartyBTV Cowboys Stadium Tour

First I just wanted to say that Robin hat Martellus was rocking was so gangsta! I'm gonna be on the hunt for one when I finish writing this but if you know where I can get one from hit me up! I found it!!

Now, as far as the stadium goes, that thing is like an amusement park! I wouldn't be surprised if they threw some rides and animals out in the front by the time the season starts lol. And did you see that jumbotron?? Calling it a jumbotron really doesn't do it any justice because that shit is fuckin' HUGE! Damn I can't wait for the season to start! I'd even take watching pre-season football at this point.

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Martellus Bennett Fined $22,000 For YouTube Freestyle

Yes, according to the Dallas Star-Telegram, TE Martellus Bennett has been fined $22,000 (about a game check for him) for a YouTube video he did freestyling. But here's the kicker: He was fined by the Cowboys, NOT the league! I'm shocked... and actually kinda happy. I mean I'm not happy that he got fined for this in particular, but the fact that my Cowboys are now showing a tougher, 'we mean business' attitude is almost enough to bring a tear to my eye lol. Maybe there is hope for us after all! We don't need boot camp or anything but a little discipline and accountability wouldn't hurt.

If the league would have fined him it would have been a different story because Martellus is just an average 21 year-old kid and you can't expect him to act like a 40 year-old man just because he's in the NFL. There are millions of young people on YouTube saying crazy shit, so why is he any different?? Whatever, I'm just proud of my Boys lol.

Anyway, the video has since been removed, but you can catch Marty B's apology freestyle after the jump.


Damn, that was terrible! LMAO! Hilarious as shit, but terrible. That's what I like about this guy, he's just having fun and enjoying his youth. Me and my friends do horrendous freestyles all the time too just for fun so I can relate...we just don't post them on YouTube lol. If we did you guys would have a field day because we've actually filmed quite a few lol.

SOURCE

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