BUS DRIVER UPPERCUT PARODY

These hoes be actin up and I be uppercuttin em!

January 31, 2010

Why The Pro Bowl Ain't Shit & Doesn't Matter

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo (9), Philadelphia Eagles'quarterback Donovan McNabb (5) and Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers talk during NFC NFL football practice at the Pro Bowl on Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010, in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
2 of these 3 QBs didn't make the team.

This Fiyah 5 is about this season's Pro Bowl in Miami which is being played tonight, the week before the Super Bowl, for the first time ever. The good news is that you can use most of these when referring to any Pro Bowl in the history of Pro Bowls. Let us begin.

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January 30, 2010

Serena Williams Wins 2nd Straight Australian Open Title

Serena Williams of the U.S. poses with the champion's trophy and a stuffed koala bear after defeating Belgium's Justine Henin in the women's singles final at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne January 30, 2010.
What more is there to say?? The girl is dominant!

SOURCE

Kurt Warner Retires

NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 16:  Quarterback Kurt Warner #13 of the Arizona Cardinals looks on as he stands on the field after their 45-14 loss against the New Orleans Saints during the NFC Divisional Playoff Game at Louisana Superdome on January 16, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana.
This comes as a shocker to no one who heard he was calling a press conference for Friday on Wednesday. That's not to say there's some kinda weird correlation between those 2 days, but you don't call a press conference to announce you're coming back.

So this it for good ol' Kurt. What a career. Its a shame the first few days of his retirement are already being mired with possibly the stupid question you can ask concerning the NFL today, aka "Is Kurt Warner a Hall Of Famer??"

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January 29, 2010

Joe Budden & The Cardim Collection

Joe Budden
"The Cardim Collection" isn't an album, mixtape, or anything like that, its just a little nickname for the group of Joey tracks released this year produced by J. Cardim. The Great Escape is on the way though so there are more tracks to come.


Very sick, very Mood Muzik-ish. Then again, all of these tracks are. I heard a little jab at Tahiry in there too which isn't too surprising, but lets continue forward with 4 more after the jump!

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Corinne Bailey Rae - I'd Do It Again/Closer

Corinne Bailey Rae
Here's some new music from Corinne Bailey Rae's new album The Sea which dropped this past Tuesday. If you aren't checking for her, start now!


That was an incredibly soothing and soulful song. If you can't get with that, be clear, there IS something wrong with you.


Very sexy, very soulful, very Corinne. I'm telling you, this chick is amazing!

There's a iTunes bonus track after the jump for ya, so dig that.

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Sade - Skin

Sade
Here's another one from Sade's much anticipated come back album Soldier Of Love!


Interesting. The "now I must begin to wash you off my skin" part could make this an anthem for prostitutes everywhere lol. Seriously though, this is a crazy, stupid, insanely hot song! Sade Adu clearly hasn't lost her fastball and its nice to see her not come back and sell out.

Anyway, we all know the Soldier Of Love album leaked yesterday, but still mark down that the actual album hits store Monday February 8th!

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Rick Ross - Mafia Music 2 (feat. Chrisette Michele)

The Teflon Don
Looks like Rick Ross is moving on from his dismantling in 2009 at the hands of 50 Cent by putting out more hot music. Fuck with it!


Ross may not be good at beef, but the nigga sure can pick a beat! Nobody, no matter how strong their hate is, can deny that this shit is sick as fuck. I could've done without that long ass intro, but I'll take it for what came afterwards.

Teflon Don coming this summer! Hopefully he doesn't pick another fight with someone smarter than him again this time around.

Exhibits A-Z

Exhibit C
Did I say Say Ahh was the most freestyled over track besides I Wanna Rock?? Wrong! I forgot all about this crazy ass Exhibit C beat! This probably the best collective of freestyles so I don't even have to ell you to enjoy, I already know you will.

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The Soldiers Of Love

The Soldiers Of Love
Not as many freestyles as the others, but four is good enough for its own post in my book. These were ALL hot too, especially that Joell Ortiz one with the spartan flow on there. Enjoy!

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They're Saying Ahh

They're Saying Ahh
After Snoop Dogg's I Wanna Rock, I'd definitely say Trey Songz's Say Ahh was the most freestyled over beat in my time away. With that being said, here are 6 of the best, lets go in!


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They Wanna Rock Right Now!

They Wanna Rock Right Now
In an attempt to catch up with my website, here's 11 of the freestyles over Snoop Dogg's I Wanna Rock, and the official remix with Jay-Z. Enjoy if you hadn't heard them all.


I was gonna put them in order from best to worst, but fuck that, I'll just tell you my favorites were Jay-Z's, Crooked I's, and AC's. Those probably went the hardest.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 1/28/10

Hope for Haiti Now
Sincerest apologies about this being so late, I don't know why but I totally forget yesterday was Thursday lol.

Last week the Billboard charts were minding their business and everything was status quo. Then the Hope For Haiti Now telethon happened. Subsequently a compilation CD by the same name was released and sold 171,000 in the 2 days before SoundScan closes the week of sales. Imagine if it was afforded the other 4 days most albums get by being released on a Tuesday, it may have went gold. Well definitely look out for big numbers out of this compilation album again next week.

Hope For Haiti Now's effects were not just felt on the Billboard 200, but on the Hot 100 as well as Taylor Swift's Today Was A Fairytale debuts at #2. The 325,000 digital downloads also makes its good for the biggest first week of digital sales by a female artist all-time. Also debuting inside the top 10 this week is Justin Bieber's Baby featuring Ludacris at #5. And yes, Ludacris should be ashamed of himself.

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January 28, 2010

2010 State Of The Union Address

January 26, 2010

The REAL Situation + Jersey Shore: Super Mario Bros.


LMAO! I LOVE this video! "I fear my character, The Situation, is like a lone orphan boy, lost in the meadow and I know not how to guide him home." That line is CLASSIC!

Enjoy the Super Bros. after the jump!

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Axe Clean Your Balls


I tried to do a little research to see if the company Axe was really behind this and there's nothing that suggests they aren't. Makes sense to me, this shit is hilarious. Besides, you're trying to sell this stuff to boys and young men, not old ladies, so its okay to be funny with it. I like.

And how about Jaime Pressly?? She's still as hot as the first time I wanted to fuck her back when I saw "Poison Ivy: The New Seduction" on HBO as a young boy in the late 90's. Nice!

Tyrese...With Hair!


Isn't it always weird to see people you're used to seeing bald with hair?? Well it is for me. I'm assuming he did it to play Luke Cage in his new film, though. I mean, if this action figure is any indicator.

Anyway, Ty ripped that tribute. R.I.P. Teddy Pendergrass!

Monta Ellis' Crazy Circus Shot


This shot is stupid, fly, ridiculous on some early 90's Fresh Prince shit! And even stupider, flier, and ridiculous... -er than that is that handshake Monta and that staff member with the 'fro partake in after the shot. Now that was impressive.

Anyway, think the shot was a fluke?? Well go ahead and check Monta hitting it 4 more times after the jump.

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LeBron Forever


This was from last Thursday's game against the Lakers, but this video is so gangsta! I mean a 25 year-old black male knowing all the lyrics in a rap song isn't that amazing, but being so good that you don't have to focus in crunch time is. This isn't some random point in the 3rd quarter, and the LeBrons weren't sporting a 20-point lead, this is 23.4 seconds left in the game with a 2 point lead versus the best team in the NBA.

Not to mention it was right out of a timeout (which again lets you know how little coaching Mike Brown actually does). Now that's talent! And shout out to TNT for leaving the camera on 'Bron long enough to capture this moment. Then again, I'm sure it wasn't too hard of an decision to put the camera on him for an extended period of time.

Pants On The Ground


Out of all the things I've missed over the past 2 months, this is probably the one I'm most angry about missing. I mean, I was actually watching Idol when this happened and was DYING laughing! This shit is so classic! Look out for Gen. Larry Platt all over your TV screen and radiowaves on some William Hung shit in the near future.

Matter of fact, Mr. Pants On The Ground already got things started in Minnesota in a film session in front of the NFC Championship losing Vikings last week. Check it out after the jump.

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Hood State Of The Union: Bonus Bullshit


I've had this video for MAAAAD long! Hopefully you've seen it before, but if not, enjoy.

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January 22, 2010

NBA All-Star Starters; Hatin' On Iverson

Allen Iverson
Dwight Howard C Amare Stoudemire
Kevin Garnett F Tim Duncan
LeBron James F Carmelo Anthony
Dwyane Wade G Kobe Bryant
Allen Iverson G Steve Nash

Why is everybody so tight about Allen Iverson not only making the All-Star team, but making it as a starter?? Yeah his stats aren't there this year, but he's Allen Iverson! Its a game for the fans and fans like Allen Iverson. Deal with it. Seriously, its a fuckin' exhibition game, it doesn't count for anything, let the fans see who they wanna see without all the bitching. The fans are the ones who pay the ridiculous prices to support these players and teams, they can't AT LEAST see who they want in the All-Star game?? Again, its an exhibition game, it doesn't count.

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Ludacris - How Low Video



Yes, we are only in the first month of the year, but I think we have the "Video Of The Year" winner right here ladies and gents. Amazing! It would be a perfect 10, but the Uncut days are over so there was no reason for Luda to take it "too far" with this video like he certainly could have. Not to mention its a top 10 single, so you probably want a clean-ish video that can play on TV...if you can find a TV show that still shows music videos.

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Jerry Jones Rewards Wade Phillips With 2-Year Extension

Dallas Cowboys coach Wade Phillips, left, and team owner Jerry Jones laugh as they respond to questions during a press conference where Jones announced that Phillips had been given a two year contract, Thursday, Jan. 21, 2010, in Irving, Texas.
Unlike a lot of "analysts," and even some "fans," I'm fine with this. Wade has done a hell of a job with the defense and the defense had nothing to do with us losing this past Sunday. He earned the right to keep his job.

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Steve Harvey To Host Family Feud

Steve Harvey
Man, talk about random ass news! Steve Harvey hosting Family Feud?? What the fuck?? Is Cedric The Entertainer vying for the Jeopardy gig?? Is D.L. Hughley about to take over Wheel Of Fortune?? I don't know, just doesn't make sense or seem right to me. I mean, especially after the huge year Steve had in 2009 with the success of his book and all. Of course he has plenty hosting chops, but this still seems a bit off. Oh well, good luck to him regardless.

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Danger!: Mystikal Finally A Free Man

Mystikal
Finally, finally, FINALLY my nigga Mystikal is back on the streets...and I'm finally, finally, FINALLY writing about it lol.

As I've told y'all before, Mystikal was my favorite rapper for the longest, so you know I was amp'd when I first heard the news. My nig was locked up for 6 years on some foolishness! Whatever, I just can't wait to hear some new shit! A lot of things have changed since 2003 so I hope he can adapt. I know he has A LOT to say and I'm feeling like he's in the same mindset he was when he made Unpredictable.

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January 21, 2010

Thursday Billboard Update - 1/21/10

Vampire Weekend's Contra
Vampire Weekend's Contra pushes 124,000 first week and takes over for Ke$ha's Animal atop the Billboard 200. That's pretty much the extent of the major movement here.

There's some activity in the top 10 this week! First off, Young Money's Bedrock moves up four spots 8-4 for a new high. Some group that goes by Train has their song Hey, Soul Sister soar 16 spots 23-7 and firmly into the top 10. And then bringing up the rear is Ludacris' How Low which finally breaks through at #10.

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January 18, 2010

Ding Dong The CYST Is Dead

MINNEAPOLIS - JANUARY 17:  Quarterback Tony Romo #9 of the Dallas Cowboys walks off the field after being defeated 34-3 by the Minnesota Vikings during the NFC Divisional Playoff Game at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome on January 17, 2010 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
That's right, its over, the Cowboys Yankee Stadium Theory is dead. It passed away at approximately 4pm yesterday in Minneapolis, Minnesota after being shot 6 times due to lack of protection. I know, very sad.

Okay, let me stop lol.

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The Corey Holcomb Show Starts Tonight!

Corey Holcomb
Tonight will mark the beginning of The Corey Holcomb Show on the Foxxhole Radio (Sirius 106, XM 149). Corey announced he was getting his own show via Twitter back on the 8th, and tonight is the first night. I figured he was going to take over The Claudia Jordan Show's time slot because Claudia has about 62 different jobs right now and it only made sense. I'll be sad to see her show go because I listen to her show all the time (though I am happy that I don't have to hear Shelly Rio's annoying anymore).

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January 15, 2010

NFL Winners & Losers: Divisional Round

Cowboys @ Vikings
1) Cowboys (1-0) @ Vikings (0-0)
Y'all know I've been watching every piece of coverage on this game that I possibly could over the past week, you know what?? I'm pissed off! No, not because my team is being disrespected, but because now everyone is on our dick. Beating the Eagles down like that in back-to-back weeks could turn out to be a gift and a curse because our bandwagon is on super swoll right now! I'm talking Mark MacGwire in '98, and that's hardly ever a good thing. In fact, its such a bad thing that I'm more concerned about it than the fact that Minnesota is 8-0 at home this year (even though they were a missed FG and last second Favre miracle from being 6-2).

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January 14, 2010

Thursday Billboard Update - 1/14/10

Ke$ha Animal
Susan Boyle's I Dreamed A Dream finally loses her spot at #1 as Ke$ha's debut album Animal moves 152,000. Doesn't matter, Ms. Boyle's damage is done as she gets a triple platinum plaque to take home. The RIAA isn't shipping many of those out these days...then again, I don't think they actually ship those plaques out lol.

A little bit of action this week on Hot as Ke$ha debuts a track called Blah Blah Blah at #7. In addition, Young Money's Bedrock and Rihanna's Hard finally make it to the top 10.

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January 12, 2010

Sade - Soldier Of Love



You know what?? I do believe this is my first time seeing a Sade video. Of course I've seen Sade Adu before, but as far as the band and music videos are concerned, nope, never. But damn, Sade is still as beautiful as ever at 50, and going on 51 this Saturday.

Anyway, Soldier Of Love the album drops February 8th, and you KNOW I'm gonna be all over that shit. Here's the actual track since I never posted it during my time away. I'm gonna post all the freestyles over the beat too later so stay tuned for that.


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LT & The Electric Glide


When I first saw this, I couldn't tell if he was joking or not...hell, I still can't tell if he's joking or not. Its not even funny, like at all. I mean seriously, what the fuck is this shit?? And why is he doing it now?? Shit sounds like the Cha-Cha Slide. I'm sorry San Diegans, but I'm gonna be forced to root against your Chargers this Sunday, solely because of the stupidity of this video.

LT, if you're gonna introduce a new dance, do it right... like this white girl after the jump.

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January 10, 2010

The CYST Lives On

Romo
The last time we spoke CYST the Yankees had just won the World Series, and the Cowboys were a few days away from their first meeting with the Eagles. One day removed from the 'Boys beating the Birds for the a third time, the last time we talked CYST seems like forever ago.

Anyway, I'd like to take this time to call out ESPN real quick. That's right "Worldwide Leader In Sports," I'm talking to you. I was sitting around watching playoff football, minding my own when friend of the website Markeyea pointing out that ESPN.com totally jacked my theory for their recap of the Cowboys-Eagles game. Don't believe me?? Take a look for yourself, its a chart towards the bottom.

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January 08, 2010

NFL Winners & Losers: Wild Card Round

Eagles @ Cowboys
1) Eagles (11-5) @ Cowboys (11-5)
Do you know how much stock I put into that 24-0 win against the Eagles last Sunday?? Well if you guessed zero, you actually went a little too high. That game meant less than nothing. Philly played a series or 2 and quit, I don't care what anybody says. Yeah, they had the #2 seed and a playoff bye on the line, but I've seen the Eagles play plenty of times, and that wasn't them. I actually felt like I was being set up while watching that game, as if the Eagles had some master plan to keep our playoff win drought going. I mean they didn't blitz, receivers were dropping easy catching, McNabb was throwing off the mark, it just didn't seem right.



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