Finally, Michael Vick gets to return to the city that adores him to play the team that abandoned him. This should be a good fucking time (well, unless the Falcons come out and lay an egg like they did in Week 1).
Question: What are the chances that Atlanta cheers louder for Vick when he enters the field than they do Falcons, plus get their asses kicked and love every minute of it despite their team now being 0-2? The mere fact that this has even the slightest possibility of happening gives the Heagles the ultimate advantage. Eagles winners, Falcons losers.
How many times do the Charges have to suck in September for analysts to stop believing in them every year? Even after narrowly escaping Donovan McNabb and his 39 passing yards Sunday, FoxSports still ranked them #2 in their Power Rankings. I'm not sure how or why they always get a pass, but maybe it's time to come to terms with their inability to start a season strong.
Anyway, it's needless to say if the Bolts could barely handle the Vikings and their 187 yards of total offense, they stand no chance against Tom Brady coming off throwing for nearly 3 times that Monday. Patriots winners, Chargers losers.
Wait, how am I writing this right now, wasn't that game against the Jets life or death? You're telling me the world didn't end and the Cowboys get to play another week? What?! Get the bleep out of here, you must be kidding! You're not? So you're telling me the overreaction to Dallas losing a Week 1 game everyone thought they'd get killed in doesn't signal the apocalypse? Wow, I'm truly stunned.
In all seriousness, should we have won that game? Yes. Was all the outraged necessary after Tony Romo spent majority of the night carving up the Jets vaunted D like a spiral ham? Hell no! I mean, shit, you would think Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Ryan, Donovan McNabb, Kerry Collins, and a whole slew of other terrible quarterback performances never took place that same day the way everyone was piling on Romo.
Oh well, that's just how the media rolls I guess. Cowboys winners, 49ers losers.
(Side note: Can anybody explain to me why it's okay for offensive players to blindside hit a defender, but not okay for a defender to blindside hit an offensive player? If Mike Jenkins did to Plaxico Burress what Plax did to him, he'd be looking at a 5 figure fine. But since Jenkins is a defender it went undiscussed. How does that work?)
I have no idea what the Bears did to Matt Ryan last Sunday, but I'm pretty sure they won't do it to the Saints this Sunday. Saints winners, Bears losers.
The world almost exploded when the Cowboys loss to the Jets, but would the world actually explode if Cam Newton out-dueled Aaron Rodgers on Sunday? I think it might.
Am I banking on that happening? Fuck no, but it's a thought. Packers winners, Panthers losers.
I'm still trying to figure out how the Vikings nearly won last week. Bucs winners, Vikings losers.
This contest shouldn't be close. Ravens winners, Titans losers.
I really don't have any good reasoning for this, but for some reason I think the Dolphins are gonna win this game. Someone talk me out of this. Dolphins winners, Texans losers.
Could one of these teams be for real? I don't know, but one of them is gonna leave this game 2-0, and I have a feeling it's gonna be the Buffalo. Bills winners, Raiders losers.
I doubt the Jets' luck will run out when the Jags come to town. Jets winners, Jaguars losers.
Man, I bet ESPN thought they stole a sneaky good match-up for MNF. Wrong!
Even though both of these teams are already injury-riddled, I guess I'll give the edge to New York since they're home. Giants winners, Rams losers.
We all laughed when Rex Grossman said the 'Skins would win the NFC East, but if they handle their business against the Cardinals they'll be 2-0 and most likely favored going into Dallas Week 3. Now I'm not saying they will win, but stranger things have happened. Redskins winners, Cards losers.
I know the Steelers got molly-whooped last week, but Tarvaris Jacksonn is the Seahawks' starting quarterback. Steelers winners, Seahawks losers.
I already thought the Chiefs were gonna suck this year (mainly because they sucked last year but had an easy schedule), but all the injuries got me thinking their in the running for the worst team in the league. Lions winners, Chiefs losers.
Here's my 2 theories for the 2011 Colts:
1) The Tim Duncan Theory
Back in the 1996-97 season, David Robinson only played in 6 games and the Spurs decided to tank the rest of the year and ended up 20-62. Their punishment for this sports crime? Tim Duncan, the greatest power forward of all-time.
All I'm saying is after the Colts' performance last weekend, the possibility that they're tanking this season to get Andrew Luck seems more and more plausible.
2) The Faker Theory
This theory is a bit more out there and basically presents the possibility that Peyton Manning is secretly just fine and decided he didn't want to hurt his legacy by playing with a team he knew was gonna suck.
This game should tell us a lot. Browns winners, Colts losers.
Why aren't the Broncos starting Tim Tebow again? Denver is lucky I'm not into picking hurt rookies on the road. Broncos winners, Bengals losers.
This Week: 13-3 (.813)
Last Week: 9-7 (.563)
Season: 22-10 (.688)
