October 20, 2012

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 7

1) Redskins (3-3) @ Giants (4-2)
The Redskins whipped the Giants twice last year with RG3-and-out (aka Rex Grossman) at the helm, so they're definitely beating them this year with Robert Griffin III, right? Wrong! It just makes too much sense for it to happen, so I'm going with the G-Men, who are fresh off of whipping the ass of the 49ers (although the Vikings also beat the 49ers and the Redskins beat the Vikings). Now I guess it’s time for me to prepare to be proven wrong by RGIII. Giants winners, Redskins losers.

2) Ravens (5-1) @ Texans (5-1)
The word is out now; you can officially run on the Baltimore Ravens' defense. Arian Foster's mouth must've been watering watching the highlights from last week's game where Felix Jones was gashing the Ravens like he was... someone other than Felix Jones. With that being said, I'm sure Joe Flacco and the Ravens offense was equally as thrilled as they watched game tape of a semi-struggling Aaron Rodgers bending over the Texans secondary a week ago.

So which defense will suck less? I'm going with Baltimore in the return of T-Sizzle waaaaaay too early for comfort. Ravens winners, Texans losers.

3) Jets (3-3) @ Patriots (3-3)
The first and last place Jets visit the also first and last place Patriots in a battle for first and last place in the AFC East. Nice!

Seriously though, the Pats are going to eviscerate the Jets Sunday. It won't even be close. Patriots winners, Jets losers.

4) Seahawks (4-2)* @ 49ers (4-2)
Home teams are 4-1 in Thursday night games this season and I like that trend to continue. 49ers winners, Seahawks losers.

5) Cardinals (4-2) @ Vikings (4-2)
Last week I gave all the reasons Arizona should lose then for some reason picked them to win. I won't be making that mistake 2 weeks in a row. Vikings winners, Cardinals losers.

6) Packers (3-3)* @ Rams (3-3)
The Rams are good, but judging by the spanking the Packers put on the Texans last Sunday night, they may be back for real. Packers winners, Rams losers.

7) Cowboys (2-3) @ Panthers (1-4)
It's almost eerie how closely the 2012 Dallas Cowboys are mirroring the 2011 Dallas Cowboys. In 2011 they were 2-2 heading into a Week 5 bye after a disappointing home loss (collapse against Detroit). Same thing in 2012 (collapse against Chicago). After the bye in 2011, they played an 4-1 AFC contender (the Patriots) closely on the road in Week 6 and loss in the end. Same thing in 2012 (this time against the Ravens). In that Week 6 loss in 2011, our starting running back got hurt (Felix Jones) and missed Week 7. Same thing in 2012 (DeMarco Murray will miss Week 7 with a sprained foot). In Week 7 of 2011, we played a inferior team NFC team will a horrible run defense (St. Louis). Same thing in 2012 (Carolina). The only thing left to be determined is which NFC East team eliminates them in Week 17 this year. Cowboys winners, Panthers losers.

8) Steelers (2-3) @ Bengals (3-3)
Every year there's at least one team that gets devastated by injuries and this year that team is the Steelers. Fortunately for them, the Browns exposed the Bengals last week for their first win. The way I see it is if a half-NFL team like the Browns can beat the Bengals then half of an NFL team can beat the Bengals. Steelers winners, Bengals losers.

9) Lions (2-3) @ Bears (4-1)
The only thing that's stopping me from saying this is gonna be a curb stomping beat down is the fact that they're division rivals. Either way, Chicago should win. Bears winners, Lions losers.

10) Saints (1-4) @ Buccaneers (2-3)
The Bucs dominated the Chiefs and the Chiefs beat the Saints, so that means the Bucs will beat the Saints, right? Wrong! Yes, they will put points up on the Saints' garbage defense, but Drew Brees obviously won't be as easy to stop as Brady Quinn. Saints winners, Buccaneers losers.

11) Titans (2-4) @ Bills (3-3)
Tennessee should've saved its Music City Miracle reply of Week 3 for this game, how great would that have been? Either way, Matt Ryan is on bye, so I need a big game out of Ryan Fitzpatrick for my 2nd fantasy league. Go first and last place Bills! Bills winners, Titans losers.

12) Browns (1-5) @ Colts (2-3)
The Colts were one of the bigger disappoints of Week 6, but I like them to bounce back this week. Colts winners, Browns losers.

13) Jaguars (1-4) @ Raiders (1-4)
I can't decide if I was more impressed with the Raiders for nearly beating the Falcons or more disappointed that the Falcons nearly loss to the Raiders. Either way, if the Raiders can fight like they did last week, there's no reason they can't take out the Jags. Raiders winners, Jaguars losers.

This Week: 11-2 (.846)
Last Week: 6-8 (.643)
Season: 62-42 (.596)*

*Due to the Inaccurate Reception, these win/lose totals are fucked for the season.