Rightfully so, if only for Prime landing that fine ass Pilar. Bagging her his worth a HoF spot alone. Damn, she's fine!
2) Vick Wins Comeback Player Of The Year
Good, gotta give my man Vick something since his offensive line practically single-handedly eliminated him from the MVP race.
3) Santana Moss To Be A Free Agent
Similarly to Nnamdi Asomugha, Moss' contract will be void soon, and the 31 year-old will become a free agent. Honestly, I don't give a shit where he lands, I'm just happy he won't be in Washington because he used to kill us all the time.
4) Cops Stop Phil Simms From Attacking Desmond Howard
Can I put money on this fight in Vegas? I like Desmond Howard to win, and I like him to win big!
Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with Phil Simms? This fool is trying to go from CBS to CB4. He better sit his old white ass down somewhere before he throws out his back or some shit.
5) "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" Guy To Miss The Super Bowl
Robert Cook from Visa's "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" ads has been in the hospital since Thursday, and will indeed miss Super Bowl XLV. And what makes matters worse is that Cook is a Packers fan. Yep, so not only will he miss a Super Bowl, but he'll miss one that his own team is in. I'd say that's worse. Oh well, there's always the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Except That Time My Team Played In It Club." Besides, he could've died and missed a Super Bowl that way, so Cook should consider himself lucky. He'll feel a lot better about missing this game after his team loses tonight.
Speaking of the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club," what's with that one guy Larry Jacobson? Can he see, or what? You know the guy I'm talking about too, but in case you want to play dumb, check him out here.
Yeah, him. Is the nigga blind or not? Personally, I think he is blind and his kids takes his tickets every year and drop him off somewhere so he thinks he's actually there. I mean, no need to waste perfectly good Super Bowl tickets on a dude who can't even see the game, right? Right!
