Lord, I've seen it all. Wait, poor choice of words.
On some real shit though, I don't think not being able to see porn even cracks the top 50 of problems facing blind people. Anyway, my first question is why are there gonna be naked males?? Is there any male who'd turn down a blind chick if she asked to feel his dick?? Nope, so what's the use??
Also, blind men are still men, they don't wanna feel no damn brail ass titties, they wanna feel some real titties. A blind dude's life is hard enough, now he has make love on himself to brail?? And that's not even to mention the girls aren't even hot! Who are these pictures of?? The one on the left looks like Rick Ross wearing The Mask. No, I'm not down with this at all!
And I'm not the only one against this magazine, I texted Stevie Wonder earlier and he wrote back, "ghyeddx bduydhjdiksagha hgdgh hgdgre younatrgrba gdytewasqifbzmf!!" Ouch!
Here's an idea: a blind dating service! You know, something like eHarmony, we could call it SeeHarmony...okay, we'll work on the name. Stick with me here though, single blind men meeting single blind women, where's the downside?? There isn't any. Okay, well getting them to and from their dates (or intimate encounters) might be a task, but other than that it's all upside, right?? Right! Let me start getting my business plan together now.
2) Indonesian Teen Chops Off Penis & Throws It In Well After Girlfriend Planned To Marry Another Man
Good luck trying to find a new girlfriend without a penis. Like the Eddie Griffin slave joke used to go, "you can show up with one foot and get some pussy, but you can't show up with 2 good legs and no dick."
How about his girl though, she's a lousy bitch, aint she? But to be fair, she probably knew he was crazy and that's why she left him. I'm sure his dick size played a role as well. Pause and all that, but if you got a porn star dick, cutting it off is not even a plan double-Z option. I'm just saying.
Okay, last question: Why did he throw it down the well?? Now the village's only option is to drink blood & dick punch (or "Penissy") or go thirsty. Ain't that some shit??
3) Woman Stabs Common-Law Husband Over Bad Sex
Well I say this was a win for this guy. I mean, she could've just stabbed him, at least he got some pussy first. I'm sure other domestic stabbees have no sympathy for him.
4) Teachers Accused Of Sprinkling Holy Water On Atheist...At My Old High School!
I like the part where the 2 teachers just happened to overhear the conversation and just happened to have holy water on hand. Who brings holy water to work, let alone walks around with it?? Then again, if you bring holy water to work, why not walk around with it?? Exxxxactly!
Seriously though, I think this story is some ol bullshit. They threw holy water on her?? Stop it.
Now unfortunately I don't know either of the teachers accused, BUT the atheist broad does look kinda familiar. Oh well.
5) Upcoming Movie To Focus On & Embarrass Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg
I'm not even sure I believe this is actually going to happen, but if it does, Zuckerberg has so much money I'm sure he won't care. I know I wouldn't.
