June 27, 2010

The Top 5 Real World-less Cities of America

The Top 5 Real World-less Cities of America
Real World season 24 "Back To New Orleans" marks the second time MTV has re-done a location, so I figured I'd help out and assemble a list of the "Top 5 Real World-less Cities of America."

5) Phoenix
Why no love for AZ?? Everything poppin' that happens in the state of Arizona, happens in Phoenix. Trust me, I have family in Sierra Vista, and I lived there for about a year (so what I was 6 years old when I got there and 7 when I left lol). Plus, it's hot so more opportunity for skin and random nakedness.

The only downfall is the recent immigration laws being enforced in AZ. MTV might not want to support a state that essentially allows racial profiling.

Potential Job: Teaching online classes for the University Of Phoenix... or discovering why AriZona Ice Tea was founded and is based out of New York.

4) Houston
Houston, TX is a scene unlike any other in the United States. It's almost like its own little country, it's that different. It would definitely be a great place for a Real World because it has great nightlife (well at least in the hood lol).

Potential Job: Working in TV Johnny's jewelry store making and selling grillz.

3) Baltimore
Baltimore is a very underrated city. Yeah, there is crime and all that stuff, but everything isn't "The Wire" in B-More. And just think of all the great things they've given us: the aforementioned series "The Wire," Babe Ruth, crab cakes, Cab Calloway, Edgar Allen Poe, Mugsy Bogues, Frederick Douglass, Dru Hill, Johns Hopkins (hospital and university), Mo'Nique, Mel Kiper Jr., Jada Pinkett-Smith, B&O Railroad in Monopoly, Montel Williams, and of course David Hasselhoff. What more can I say?? No, what more needs to be said??

Potential Job: Finding Mo'Nique's brother and whoopin' his ass!

2) Dallas
Besides the fact that I'm a massive fan of the Dallas Cowboys, everything I'm hearing is that Dallas is a city on the rise. After the 2010 NBA All-Star, that was all you heard! "Dallas is awesome!" "Dallas is the most underrated city in the U.S.!" Well it's time for MTV to crack that baby wide open with a "Real World: Dallas."

Potential Job: Anything involving the Dallas Cowboys including (but not limited to) dancing in the steel cages over the field during game, ironing Jerry Jones' wrinkles, and trying not to get lost in Cowboys Stadium.

1) Atlanta
And then there's Atlanta. How has MTV gone 24 seasons of the Real World without making a stop in Georgia, let alone Atlanta?? "Real World: Atlanta" has greatness written all over it! Plus it has the 2 things Real World loves the most: hot chicks and gay men. Also, there would be no excuse to not have at least 3 black people on there! This HAS to happen. MTV, I'm begging you, please!

Potential Job: Cleaning the stripper poles at Magic City, Strokers, and the 87 other strip clubs in the city of Atlanta.

Honorable Mention: Detroit
Detroit is definitely one of the most famous cities in America, so it would kind of make sense to give them a Real World. I'm not sure who would audition to be on it (I know I sure as hell wouldn't), but I'm sure someone would.

The reasons it could never be chosen includes the following: Even MTV couldn't find jobs there, it's a cold weather city, and it has a lot of "first Real World cast member to be shot" potential.