August 04, 2010

Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

NEW YORK - AUGUST 04:  Alex Rodriguez #13 of the New York Yankees runs the bases after hitting his 600th career home run in the first inning against Shaun Marcum #28 (not pictured) of the Toronto Blue Jays on August 4, 2010 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City.
1) A-Rod Finally Blasts 600th Career Homer
I don't care what anybody says, this is quite monumental. Yeah, he's an admitted steroid users, but fuck it. He played through the steroid era, big whup, shit happens. And yes, I am just blabbing along because this is a baseball story and I have nothing of importance to say pertaining to it.

Only 162 more to catch Bonds!

2) Brett Favre: Back Already. Shocker.
Wow, just look at the shock on everybody face. Remarkable.

I like how today Brett says he never sent any text messages saying he was retiring, but conveniently didn't bother making a statement to refute the stories. One phone call to ESPN from his agent and story dead. Oh well, like I said yesterday, there was no way the NFL was going to let him retire so they can open the season with Drew Bress and the Saints vs. Tarvaris Jackson and the Vikings.

3) Shaq Signs With The Celtics
Good for Shaq and good for the Celtics. Their quest to re-form an early 2000's All-Star team is almost complete. So far they have Shaq, KG, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Jermaine O'Neal, and they own the rights to Rasheed Wallace. I say they add Allen Iverson, and re-add Stephon Marbury and Antoine Walker then BOOM! All of a sudden they have the most formidable team in the league if this were 2001.

That is the goal, right?? Oh okay, just checking.

Oh, and this just in, the Celtics will now offer rice pudding and prune juice at home games. And urinals will be installed behind both baskets. Oh yeah, and instead of risking injury playing during the preseason, the Celtics will instead be auditioning to be the next Viva Viagra band.

(Side note: So what's Shaq's new nickname gonna be?? The Big Shamrock? The Big Clover? Welp, being the racist city that Boston is, I'm sure the local will refer to him simply as "The Big Nigger.")