November 07, 2010

Random News Shit: Sports Recap Edition

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 11:  Randy Moss #84 of the Minnesota Vikings looks on against the New York Jets at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 11, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Jets won 29-20.
Obviously I missed a bunch of shit over the week, so accept this as a peace offering. OK? OK.

Vikings Waive Randy Moss
Which has a better chance of happening: Brad Childress keeping his job or Kat Stacks getting saved??

I know it's a stretch, but personally, I'm gonna have to go with the latter. At the least there's a 0.1 percent chance Kat Stacks gets saved. There's negative chance Childress keeps his job. Chilly couldn't be any more out if was Brett Favre's dick with a camera phone within arms-length. I mean, yeah, Randy Moss is a certified head case, but there's NO reasonable explanation for cutting someone you traded a 3rd round draft pick for after a month. One month! Four games!

And then that bullshit explanation about Moss berating a cater and his food, what was that?? Mike Shanahan came up with a better excuse than that for benching Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman (but we'll get into that shortly). Moss would have to literally ass rape the caterer on my office desk while I was on the phone with my momma for me to even THINK about cutting him. At the very least Chilly should have called up Dollar Bill Sellatrick and said, "OK, we fucked up. Keep the 3rd-rounder, give us a 5th, and you can have Randy back." Whatever you do, you can't just cut Randy Moss after 4 games.

Dollar Bill wins again.

Mike Shanahan Says Donovan McNabb Not In Shape For 2-minute Drill
I hope Mike Shanahan at least sent Brad Childress a gift basket for deflecting attention away for this godawful excuse for an excuse. He wasn't in shape?? Really?? So he played 7 complete games before this, including 2 overtime periods, without a problem, but he wasn't in good enough shape to run the 2-minute drill??

And it's not like the Redskins have been blowing people out and Donovan hasn't had to do much in 4th quarters, 6 of their first 7 games were decided by 6 points or less, including 4 by 3. He managed all that, but the 2-minute drill was too much to ask on that day?? Give me a fuckin' break.

Then, to make matters worse, you replace McNabb with the "Opposite Team Touchdown Machine" Rex Grossman?? That's like replacing Josh Freeman with Morgan Freeman.

Would anyone had blamed Donovan for Randy Moss-style berating Mike Shanahan in Washington's locker room?? I don't think so.

JaMarcus Russell works out for Washington Redskins
The only thing potentially more outrageous than replacing Donovan McNabb with Rex Grossman would be replacing JaMarcus Russell for anyone on an NFL roster. Why would the team who deemed McNabb too out of shape to finish a game and wouldn't let Albert Haynesworth practice until he passed a conditioning test even consider working out JaMarcus Russell?? Makes no sense.

Charlie Villanueva Says Kevin Garnett Called Him A 'Cancer Patient'
KG isn't the only one with a message for Charlie V, here's mine: Hey Charlie, stop being a fuckin' bitch.

Seriously though, if he was so pissed about allegedly being called a cancer patient, why didn't he handle it on the court instead of going home and tweeting about it like a loser?? It's easy to talk tough via Twitter, back that shit or shut that shit up. I mean, what's the worse that would happen, he'd be fined and suspended?? He robbed the Pistons for $40 million, I think he should be able to afford it.

Giants Dump Series MVP Renteria
Yeah, because dumping your World Series MVP days after winning worked out so well for the Yankees too.

Grizzlies Sign Mike Conley To $40 Extension
David Stern is a doucher and all, but he's right about NBA salaries needing to come down. I'm not saying Mike Conley isn't good (he would've been a better #1 pick than fuckin' Greg Oden), this seems like a whole lot for the 4th or 5th best player on the team.

Atlanta Hawks, Al Horford Agree To $60M Contract Extension
Nice investment into the future, but $60 million does seem like a lot. He is still only 24 though, so I guess this is fair.

Buffalo Bills Claim Shawne Merriman On Waivers

I don't think it's ever a good thing for a player when the first team in waiver claim order claims you. Oh well, Shawne just isn't good anymore, and he's more injury prone than Kris Jenkins. I give him 3, or 4 years tops before he's out of the league completely.

(Side note: I hope he turns his career around, but I'm just not sure he will.)

Tennessee Titans Claim Randy Moss On Waivers
Oh, and finally, speaking of waivers, the Titans picked up some waived wide receiver. His name is Randy Moss, I don't know, have you heard of him??