NFL Winners & Losers: Week 5

You know, I was planning on doing weekly picks all this season, but I dunno I just kinda forgot lol. As I was filling out my SportsNation survey picks on ESPN.com again this week I said fuck it and figured I'd start for the 2nd quarter of the season and beyond. Wish me luck, I'm about to get my sports analyst on!

Oh yeah, if you have a snazzy name for this section please let me know.

Chicago Bears @ Detriot Lions
Okay, the Lions are terrible, but coming off of a bye week, in which they finally canned Matt Millen, I'm gonna take them to beat the Bears. I know the Bears just beat an Brian Westbrook-less Eagles team last week, but that offense looks mistake proned and I don't think they'll put up enough points to keep up with Detroit.

Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers
Aaron Rodgers is a game time decision, but anytime you have a rookie QB away from home its not a good look for the road team. Then again, if Rodgers can't go you'll have a rookie QB making his first start in Matt Flynn and that might be an even worse look. I'm going with the Packers if Rodgers plays, and the Falcons if he doesn't.

San Diego Chargers @ Miami Dolphins
The Chargers looked really shaky for most of that game last week against the Raiders before scoring 25 points in 4th quarter in the 28-18 win. For that reason I'm gonna go with the Dolphins in an upset special.

Seattle Seahawks @ New York Giants
I was gonna go with the Seahawks seeing they're getting both of their top 2 receivers back this week, the Giants are going without their top 1, and the last time we saw the G-men they were struggling to beat a winless Bengals team BUT since I just took the Dolphins I'm gonna go with the safe pick here. Plus, I like that kid Domenik Hixon who's gonna replace Plaxico this week.

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles
The Redskins will be riding high after beating the Cowboys by 2 last weekend, but look for their 3 game win streak to come to a close when they visit Philly Sunday. The Eagles HAVE to win this game or they're pretty much done in the NFC East so I'm going with them in a close one.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Carolina Panthers
The Chiefs got their first win last weekend, but don't expect for winning to become a trend for Herm's team. I'm going with the Panthers.

Tennessee Titans @ Baltimore Ravens
This game is gonna be brutal! I'll be shocked if nobody gets a season-ending injury, but with the Ravens coming off a shorten week I'm gonna go with the Titans to stay undefeated for another week.

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans
The Texans will come out hype in their first home game of the season, but I still like the Colts coming out of their bye.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Denver Broncos
The Broncos get back to putting up big numbers on offense this week and handle the Bucs who are coming off an emotional win last weekend.

Cincinnati Bengals @ Dallas Cowboys
Ocho Cinco said he's gonna kiss the star when he scores a touchdown this week...unfortunately for him he won't score a touchdown this week lol. This one won't even be close and will most likely resemble the Cowboys week one victory against the Browns...if not worse.

Buffalo Bills @ Arizona Cardinals
No Anquan Boldin this Sunday, no win for the Cards. I'm picking the Bills to stay undefeated headed into their bye week.

New England Patriots @ San Francisco 49ers
The Pats got flat out embarassed by the Dolphins 2 weeks ago and I just can't see them falling 2 times in a row with or without Tom Brady. Then again, fuck the Pats, I'm going with the Niners!

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Jacksonville Jaguars
This should be another slug fest, but unfortunately for the Steelers, the Jags offense is not the Ravens offense so I'm going with Jacksonville.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints
I dunno what's going on with the Vikings, they need to find a real QB in the worst way. For that reason I'm going with the Saints. Look for Drew Brees to have a huge game.

Last Week Record: 0-0
Overall Records: 0-0