Tough Time To Play Soccer In Iraq

(Then again, when is there ever a good time to do anything in Iraq??)

1) Iraqi Soccer Player Shot Dead Attempting Game-Winning Goal
As the nigga was attempting the game-winning goal! Shot in the damn head! What the fuck?! Also, what kinda aim does the nigga who shot him have?? He shot homie in the head at game speed from who-knows how far away.

More crazy random news shit after the jump including a masturbating mom beater, power tool sex gone wrong, and a former WWE champ found dead!

2) Iraqi Goalie Shot Dead While Celebrating Victories
Again! A-damn-gain! This time was an "accident" though as some police officer was bussin' in the air to celebrate. What's up with people shooting in the air anyway?? You know the bullet is gonna come down eventually. Whatever.

3) Teen Assaults Mother After She Catches Him Masturbating
Only in Florida lol.

4) Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter
I wonder what buddy said to convince her that it would be safe to use this "sex toy" on her?? Homie is either one cold ass playa or she's just a dumbass lol.

5) Man Murdered After Being Placed In The Same Cell With Killer He Testified Against
Damn, that nigga killed buddy in 15 minutes! You're not gonna tell me this was an accident. No, this was done on purpose.

6) Former WWE Champ Test Found Dead
I'm surprised Congress has never investigated wrestling for this steroids shit because as I said when Pimp C died, people don't die of natural causes at 33.