In all seriousness though, as you all know by now the Lakers opted to stay in Orlando and celebrate on the Magics' homecourt instead of throwing the game to do it in L.A. Tuesday. This makes me sad because now the NBA season is officially over and now all I have to hold me over until football season is fuckin' baseball. Baseball is cool as a secondary sport, but its not a main course. Not for me at least.
Now, besides this being Kobe's 4th ring (and opportunity to sing "Shaq, tell me how my ass taste" in the shower), its Lakers' head coach Phil Jackson's 10th! That's right, 10th! Nobody, in major American sports history has more rings than the Zen Master now. Is it time to crown him the greatest coach of all-time yet?? I mean of course he had the help of 4 of the greatest players to ever play the game (M.J., Shaq, Kobe, and Pippen), but its still a helluva accomplishment. Not to mention he's been in the Finals 6 of the 8 years he's coached in the 2000s (remember he left with Shaq after 2004 for a couple seasons).
As for Orlando, man, way to lay down. I mean they weren't as bad as the Lakers in game 5 in Boston last year, but they really weren't much better, despite what the final score says. Everybody mailed it in tonight. I'm not mad though because that led to two of my favorite Bill Simmons "tweets" of all-time: "Did Dwight Howard use Fed Ex or UPS to mail in tonight's performance? And why didn't he cover himself in bubble wrap?" and "Does Chris Wallace get to spray champagne in the Lakers locker room tonight?" (Chris Wallace of course being the GM of the Grizzlies who traded Pau to the Lakers for his less talented brother Marc and a hill of beans).
Anyway, congrats to the Lakers and fuck 'em all at the same damn time. You brought the offseason in too soon and for that you all can kiss ass.
I'll leave you with this team photo of the Lakers after the win. Its a remarkable because Sasha Vujacic actually came back from the grave to pose in it. Did you know he scored the same amount of points as Adam Morrison did?? Not a good look.
