Aight, lets start with the good (it'll be much quicker):
I loved the Jamie Foxx, Beat It dance intro from the tight ass Michael Jackson outfit to the Smooth Criminal lean assisted by the chick holding him up by the chest. Nice touch. Foxx's opening monologue was okay, I had already heard that story on Friday's episode of Foxxhole Radio so it didn't do anything for me but I was rolling when he tried to Moonwalk and down near busted his ass lol. Foxx was a great host.
Good thing #2 was Ne-Yo singing Lady In My Life. Lovely cover, well besides seeing Ne-Yo hatless. Jamie's Blame It performance was pretty hot but I wish Snoop started crippin' when he came out. Travis Barker was a nice touch too and at that point BET broke a record for most white people at a BET Awards.
The next good thing to happen was the D.O.A. performance by Jay-Z. That really kicked the show up a notch because shit was going pretty bad. Question: Why was Beyonce acting like she didn't know Jay was there?? Y'all came in the same limo girl lol.
I also liked the Tevin Campbell, Tyrese, Trey Songz tribute to the O'Jays. Then I loved Eddie Levert saying "snow was falling, when was blowin', people was dancing' and shit" live on TV... and then getting his hand stuck in the award lol. The O'Jays' actual performance was pretty dope too. The funniest part was when they were jammin' and Soulja Boy was standing there like he never heard of these niggas in his life.
Good moments are running low at this point and I must say next that I was loving Maxwell singing Pretty Wings! That boy is bad! And of course I loved how they closed the show out with Janet speaking for the first time since Michael passed and then Jamie and Ne-Yo sang I'll Be There for the most touching moment of the night.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, lets get to all the bad shit that happened.
First off I gotta touch on the constant failed attempts at censorship. I don't know who was running the bleeper, but that nigga most likely doesn't have a job today. He/She literally missed every bleep by at least a second or 2 (Ex. on Jeremih's Birthday Sex he/she was trying to bleep out sex but was late and ended up just bleeping out "birthday" so it sounded like this: "Birthday sex...sex...sex...sex"). Not to mention that person didn't even make an attempt at bleeping Eddie Levert. I mean, I wasn't there but I saw that shit coming from the beginning of the sentence (and shit). Oh yeah, and I KNOW Wayne isn't cussin' THAT much in Every Girl's 1st verse. It was somewhat vulgar (from what I remember, I actually flip it whenever it comes on) but they had it sounding like the 2Pac's Still Ballin' radio edit (and shit).
I appreciated New Edition all coming together to do a tribute for Michael Jackson BUT they probably should've left Bobby Brown doing...um, what ever it is that Bobby Brown does. I mean it was one thing for me not to understand what he was saying, but that tongue thing he did was just damn disrespectful (and shit).
Other terrible performances included the following: Keri Hilson (I love Keri but that wasn't great), Soulja Boy (I've never heard that song all the way through before last night and never realized there were only about 8 more lyrics to be said in it after the first hook), Mary Mary (Lord forgive me, but that song was Blame It with gospel lyrics. Same beat, same candence), and Ciara (all the MJ songs and she landed on We Are The World??).
The final terrible performance was so bad it needed a paragraph of its own. That performance was given by Drake, Lil Wayne, Baby, and some other niggas. First off, not only did Drake not even make an attempt to sing the Best I Ever Had hook, but he also sat through his whole set. That's only cool if you're singing R&B, he was rapping R&B. Then Wayne comes out for Every Girl and Drake continues to sit. To make matters worse, a gang of little under-aged girls come out and dance around Drake as Wayne spits "I wish I could love every girl in the world, I wish could could love every girl in the world" (Yeah they changed "fuck" to "love" but the nigga with the bleeper tried to bleep it anyway...unsuccessfully of course lol). Classy. Oh, and how bad do you feel for the other niggas performing?? I mean BET literally kept the camera on Wayne and Drake throughout everyone else's verse (by the way, where was Jae Millz?? Was he too busy not dropping Back To The Future??). Nothing was better than Lil Wayne saying, "R.I.P. Michael Jackson (2 seconds pass) I'm always strapped when I'm in the club." Nothing says rest in peace like letting niggas know you're strapped and ready to shot. It was just really bad and I'm glad this wasn't the final performance (and shit).
Back to other terrible things that weren't performances, how wack was it that they were rushing through the awards and giving them out 2 at a time?? Its the BET AWARDS, we couldn't find time to at least announce who was nominated (and shit)?? I think there would've been plenty of time if we cut some of the useless performances I mentioned above (mainly Keri, Mary Mary, and Drake/Wayne).
Oh yeah, they also could've saved time had Don Cornelius never taken the stage. What the fuck was that?? Nobody thought it'd be a good idea to start playing him off the stage with music or cutting his mic?? I know he's Don Cornelius but come on now, nigga was up there sounding senile as shit (and shit).
Here's a short list of things you could've started and completed during the time Don was on the stage:
-Run to the store
-Throw something on the grill
-Sown an American flag
-Watch Forrest Gump
-Watch the entire 2009 BET Awards
Long story short, he was up there for a long ass time (makes you wonder how retarded his ex-wife was that she let him beat her ass last year). Though I must admit, I can't wait to hear the inevitable "my money/gun/dick/ is longer than a Don Cornelius speech" punchline in a rap song coming soon lol.
The "Baby Boy" reunion was dope except for these 2 things: 1) Ving Rhames being drunk and trying to start a "Michael Jackson is guns" chant and 2) Snoop not coming out in a wife beater. You can't tell me the most memorable part in "Baby Boy" wasn't laughing at Snoop's bony body. You just can't.
And last, but not least, does Debra Lee have to speak at every BET Awards?? Does MTV's COO come out and speak at the VMAs?? Does the COO of the Recording Academy come out and speak at the Grammys?? Okay, so why does she make a space for herself every years?? Also, why didn't they bring up Alicia Keys and Wyclef at the same time?? Another way they could've saved time had they skipped over separate speeches.
Overall, the 2009 BET Awards were more so a mess than anything else. A lot of people are blaming it on them revamping the show to make it a Michael Jackson tribute, but if you sit and watch the show again you'll realize basically everything they wanted to do for MJ went on without a hitch while they shit they should've had in order was fucked up (Keri, censoring, Don Cornelius, etc.). This show left much to be desired and when it was all over I was feeling more like ?uestlove ("I wish BET died and MJ did a tribute to them") than anything else.
But guess what?? I'd do it all again because it brought me so much joy and laughter (intentionally and unintentionally).
