Yeah these niggas worship the devil, but they're just so darn likable. Not sure how that works, but I loved this shit!
August 31, 2011
Odd Future: A Day In Ladera
The Muppets Fire Shots At The Game?
Your move, The Game.
Take Back The Perv!
Yo, this shit is fucking awesome! For starters it's funny (and that never hurts), and for seconders we get to see La La in lingerie. Now I finally see why Carmelo let himself be manipulated into forcing a trade to New York. Yep, it all makes sense now.
Don Cheadle Is Captain Planet
Hilarious? No. Nostalgic? Shit yeah!
I guess this is just a small preview of what we can expect when Captain Planet is retardedly made into a live-action movie (thought I doubt any of the people in this skit will be involved lol).
August 30, 2011
The 50 Worst Rap Album Fails
Personally, I would've liked to see Lil B's I'm Gay higher up on the list because it was being talked about everywhere and it seemed like every interviewer had to ask every rapper their opinion on it, then it came out and sold a pathetic 1,700 copies. Oh, and that's not to mention how many people thought him naming the album I'm Gay was a great marketing strategy. There were more articles written on I'm Gay than albums sold, it should've been in the top 20 at least.
(Side note: Speaking of Complex, it all isn't good over there as they also released a dick softened Top 50 Hottest Black Porn Stars Of All-Time list. I refuse to believe any straight men had anything to do with that random list of fuck shit. What straight man sees Skin Diamond and thinks "Damn, that no titty, no booty having chick with the Cassie hair is hot!"?? What straight man sees Caviar from For The Love Of Ray J fucking on film and thinks she has any porn skills? And on top of all that, names like Evanni Solei, Erika Vuiton, Melrose Foxxx, Kitten, Carmen Hayes, Baby Cakes, Beauty Dior, and (most egregiously) Jazmine Cashmere don't even appear on the list. Despicable!
Now, I understand it's a "hottest" list and not a "best" list, but you can't tell me Misti Stone is looks better than Evanni Solei. You just can't. And you know another thing you can't do? Convince me Complex didn't pick name out of a hat when creating this list.)
August 29, 2011
Random News Shit: It's Almost Here Edition
Ain't America something? Where else can you go from being a $100 million man to a broke social pariah in prison back to a $100 million man within 5 years? Oh yeah, no where.
These types of things don't happen often to ex-con, so I really think this is something to be celebrated. It's a shame I'm gonna have to root against him so vigorously this year.
Jim Jones Sending Shots At Lil Wayne?
I thought Wayne was cool with those Dipset niggas and had some sort of understanding after he came and stole their image in 2005? I guess the peace treaty is over.
Beyonce Is Pregnant!
Seriously though, I've never been more simultaneously envious of a man and a unborn baby as I am right now. Why must Jay-Z be so lucky? It's one thing to be fucking Beyonce and it's another to wife her, but it's other worldly shit to be able to say "I got Beyonce pregnant." The sentence "I got Beyonce pregnant" are 4 of the illest words you can assemble in the English language! And that fetus? That shit is already richer than I'll ever be in life. The Carters are fucking winning!
(Side note: It'll be interesting to see how this news effects her albums sales. I don't think anybody else popping up pregnant could effect their sales but Beyonce, so we'll see.)
(Side side note: Let's see Lil Wayne kidnap Beyonce now lol.)
August 28, 2011
NBA 2K12 NBA's Greatest Trailer
This year I'm finally gonna give up on NBA Live NBA Elite and try out NBA 2K. It's cool they're bringing the legends back (even though EA already did that on NBA Live years ago), but is it just me or do these graphic suck? Aren't we supposed to be impressed with the trailer? I couldn't stop thinking about how much it looked like a PS2 game.
Oh well, we'll see how it goes once it comes out. Sigh.
Why???: Whichael Vick
I'm not outraged or offended by it (and I'm not quite sure why everyone else is), if anything, he looks like an albino dude more than a white person (or Dave Chappelle). I just don't get why ESPN didn't just Photoshop Colt Brennan's head onto Mike's shoulders since that appears to be who they modeled him after. It would've saved time and looked more natural than this bullshit.
Anyway, if you want to read Toure's piece on ESPN.com, click here.
Voldemort & Bane Cook
That Todd dude cracks me the hell up! Anyway, enjoy the rest of these videos as I get my mind right for the VMA's tonight.
Real World San Diego: No Black People
But you know what? I'm not even mad at them for opting to go back to San Diego again before trying out Phoenix or Atlanta. Nope, not at all. I'm mad at them for not having ONE black roommate, especially when they know you need at least 2 to guarantee an awesome season. I mean, really? They couldn't find one damn black person that wanted to be on The Real World? They have 5 white people (Sam, Zach, Ashley, Frank, and Nate), 1 Mexican (Priscilla), 1 Zimbabwean/French/Native American (Alexandra), and 0 black people. This is that bullshit!
I need a few Mississippis to cool down, check out this wack ass trailer in the meantime:
The Outlawz Smoked 2Pac's Ashes
Wow. I kn... wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
*Walks away from keyboard to regain composure*
I knew there was a reason I used to hit skip every time these niggas started rapping after Pac.
Now before we fully delve into the smoking 2Pac's ashes thing, I want to speak on the beach memorial.
Outlaws, please explain to me how polluting the ocean with weed, fried chicken, and orange soda is an appropriate tribute to your fallen comrade? I'll wait.
August 27, 2011
The Heart Attack
From the creator of the Walmart song, comes the Heart Attack dance! Oh, you're gonna LOVE this one!
(And of course by "love" I mean hate with a passion.)
Remember when Atlanta was the shithole of the South? Well right now New Orleans is making a strong push for the "whatever the exact opposite of crown is." The aforementioned Walmart song, Hunny Bun, Lil Wayne spitting possibly the weakest bars ever directed at Jay-Z (or any other legend for that matter), and now this shit. These niggas are making me regret my sympathy over Katrina.
Prison Logic With Tijuana Jackson: Push Yourself To The Edge
You gotta love that prison logic my nigga!
Big K.R.I.T. - The Vent Video
When T.I. gets out of prison on Monday, he better focus on making a classic and staying free because his replacement has arrived and is one hit away. Big K.R.I.T. is one of the most remarkable new artists to come out of the South in awhile, and if he finds his Slow Jamz, it could be a wrap for aging South greats like T.I. and Ludacris.
August 26, 2011
A Pointless Dissection Of Lil Wayne's How To Love Video
When I heard the How To Love video dropped the other day, I had no intentions on posting it... then I watched. It was touching, but shockingly hilarious to me at parts. (Oh, so I'm the only person who busted out laughing at this part? Word?)
Ultimately, it left me with more questions than answers, so let us discuss a few since I don't have shit else to do right now.
1) Why does Ray from The Secret World of Alex Mack always get cast as a thug now?
He was a thug in Ordinary People, he was a thug in Janky Promoters, and now he's a thug in How To Love. What's with that? I've heard of being typecast, but dude's signature role was being Alex Mack's best friend, not being a gang member. Somebody fix this by casting him a "Spencer from iCarly-esque" role in the next Nickelodeon sitcom. Thank you.
Kanye Drake Lobster Snake!
Just letting you know now, I'm catching up with the videos in my YouTube subscriptions, so I may or may not be posting a bunch of videos in the next few minutes depending on how they are. Consider yourself warned.
Anyway, I love Mark and Todd from BarelyPolitical and Russell Simmons is the best impression Affion Crockett does, so this video is a win to me.
August 25, 2011
A Few Thoughts On Lil Wayne's It's Good Jay-Z Diss
If your slow ass still didn't catch it, here's what Wayne said:
"Talking about that Baby money, I got your baby money. Kidnap yo' bitch, get that 'how much you love your lady' money."
Okay, let's stop with the "did he or didn't he" crap, he's obviously dissing Jay-Z in those weak ass bars. Fuck the diss though, how about the fact Wayne's way to prove Jay-Z he has money is to kidnap Beyonce and hold her for ransom money. Smart. Maybe next he can scrap a bomb to her torso with Danny McBride and Nick Swardson and get her to rob a bank for him? Again, because what better to prove that you got your paper together than to commit a crime for money? It's just logic people.
Thursday Billboard Update - 8/25/11
Over on the Hot 100, Katy Perry's Last Friday Night is still #1, LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem is still #2, but debuting at #3 is Lil Wayne's She Will featuring Drake. Could it make a run at #1 next week when Tha Carter IV (officially) drops? We'll see.
August 24, 2011
10 Booty Video Commandments BLOOPERS
Sorry for the delay and the lack of posting but whatever the bloopers are finally done. Enjoy!
(Side note: The deleted scenes are coming up next!)
August 21, 2011
10 Booty Video Commandments
Here's the latest offering from me Moses and Andy. We've been wanting to do this video for awhile now and we finally got it done, so I hope y'all like it.
Matter of fact, y'all better like it because it took me forever to edit this shit. We shot well over 150 videos for it so I had to watch them and takes note before I ever opened up my editing software (PowerDirector 9 if you were wonder). It's all good though, I think it came out great. A lot of funny shit got left out, so be on the look out for the bloopers coming either tonight or tomorrow.
(Side note: Damn, that shit chick at #8 had some nice ass titties!)
Related:
10 Booty Video Commandments BLOOPERS
August 20, 2011
Cards Give Larry Fitzgerald 8-Yr/ $120M Extension
I'm definitely not mad at Larry for getting paid, but over/under years before he regrets this deal being 8 years? I'm gonna say 2.5 years and go slightly under.
Why Aren't The Cowboys Trying To Sign T.J. Houshmandzadeh?
August 19, 2011
The King Has Left The Building
R.I.P. The Burger King.
SOURCE
Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries Wedding Vows
Damn, I didn't even know Kim's wedding was tomorrow, where have I been? I mean, of course I don't care, but it seems like I would've at least known it was taking place tomorrow before I heard Angela Yee say it in this clip. Oh well.
Anyway, The Breakfast Club came up with some exclusive audio of Kim K and male Kris K's wedding vows. Enjoy!
Jemele Hill Dissed By Michael Smith For Madden
This shit really doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I found it funny. Apparently, when Michael Smith and Jemele Hill were young journalists they were set up and... well just listen to Jemele tell the story.
(Side note: If I knew Jemele Hill and Michael Smith were gonna be debating in place of Skip Bayless this week, I wouldn't have decided to skip an entire week of First Take when I heard he was going on vacation. I'm not mad at Skip for taking a break before the NFL season, I just didn't want to be subjected to hearing lame ass Erik Kuselias, when as it turns out, it was Jemele and Mike the past 3 days. My bad)
(Side side note: ESPN2 has got to work on getting some line-up schedules printed out and sent to me the night before every show when Skip goes on vacation.)
PinkyXXX - Backbone Mini-Movie/Music Video
Bravo! Bravo!
Fuck "Bridesmaids," this is hands down the funniest movie of 2011 thus far. The 15 MPH chase/shoot out scene that start things off, the outfit changes while healing his bullet wounds at home with rubbing alcohol and a rag (I especially liked her having a whole nurse outfit but no scissors to cut the thread and having to resort to biting the string after she finished applying the stitches), the mistimed door slam on the way to his "last job," the fact they she'll be his "backbone" but won't introduce him to her family (Really, he didn't know that was your sister he just killed?), the fact that he thought it'd be a good idea to do another job after his "last job" that she set up not even 24 hours after being pissed at him for deciding go through with said "last job" despite bringing home a bag full of money, and of course the lone police officer who presumably taped off the crime scene and is now on crowd control by himself as the dead body lays on the stairs. Simply magnificent.
The only disappointment is that the song didn't end with Crystal Lucas singing "I'll be your backbone until you kill my sister and her boyfriend, then I'll have to be the one that sets you up to be killed." Oh well, that's only a minor disappointment in a timeless classic.
August 18, 2011
Terrelle Pryor Eligible For Draft, But Suspended First 5 Games
I would share my thoughts on the bullshit 5 game suspension, but I don't think I could say it any better than Dan LeBatard did earlier today on Twitter.
SOURCE
Ludacris Names His Mixtape
You know what? Luda might want to look into switching his album title and mixtape title around because 1.21 Gigawatts is waaaaaay iller than Ludaversal. I'm actually shocked this is the first time anyone thought to name their project that.
Related:
Ludacris Releasing New Mixtape Before Ludaversal
Thursday Billboard Update - 8/18/11
Big news over on the Hot 100 as Katy Perry's Last Friday Night finally makes it to #1, dethroning LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem after 6 weeks on top. Last Friday Night is Katy's 5th #1 single, tying her with Michael Jackson for most #1 singles off one album in Hot 100 history. Also, Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger shoots up the top 10 8-3.
August 17, 2011
The Game - Daytona 500 (500 Barz)
You can say whatever you want about Game, but you can't say that nigga isn't talented as fuck. It would take about 60% of the current rap game at least a month (if not more, for the Lil Bs and Soulja Boys out there) to write 500 bars of anything, let alone heat.
Steve Harvey Sons Tavis Smiley & Cornel West
This is about a week old now, but I was going through my internet transition and couldn't post it. I'm sure y'all won't mind if I do it now, will you? Of course not!
Bravo! Bravo! This needed to be said badly. All guys like Tavis Smiley and Cornel West do is go around and profit off poor people, pushing their bullshit black agenda's like anyone will ever give a fuck. Then again, I'm not sure they ever want people to really give a fuck because if they did, it'd be the end of them profiting off poor black's backs. Thank you Steve Harvey.
Sex Fighter 2 Trailer
I love porn parodies and I used to love Street Fighter as a kid, so I should love Sex Fighter 2. Judging from this trailer, I most likely will. I'm still waiting on that Ninja Turtle porn parody solely to see how they'd attempt to pull it off (and if I ever get famous, making that happen will definitely be a top priority), but I'll settle for this for now.
Other things I'd like to see porn parodies of: Doug, The Simpsons, Martin, Power Rangers, Seinfeld, and A Different World.
August 16, 2011
Kimbo Slice's 17 Second Knockout
Gotdamn!
Who knows why Kimbo just now realized it'd be a good idea to be a boxer, but what a way to get things started. At the end of the day, Kimbo is a fighter, not a wrestler/MMA person and should've been doing this from the start.
Obama's Kickstarter Campaign
This video was funny and all, but what's going on with James Davis' make-up person? That Obama skin looks fucking weird now lol.
Cipha Sounds Disses The South In Stand-Up Routine
Personally, I don't care because I agree that Gucci Mane, Plies, and them are terrible, but I'm sure someone is gonna see this and take it the wrong way. I don't know what everyone's fascination is with taking things out of comedy routines and making them out to be more than just jokes, but that's the hyper-sensitive world we live today
Chronicles Of Rick Roll Trailer
At first I thought this was a joke, but apparently it's really gonna be a full-length film. I'm not sure how they're gonna do it without Tay Zonday but okay.
J. Cole - Work Out Video
Damn, I'm just noticing this, but J. Cole is about 3 hairs away from having a uni-brow. Fuck all that though, who is that main video chick? Gotdamn she's fine! Of course she had a banging body, but the first thing that caught me was her face. Lawdamercy!
Anyway, this was a nice little video. Sadly, it won't help the song be any hottest, thus it won't help Cole out not one iota. What he needs is a super incredible record that will set him apart from the pack, like when Kanye dropped Slow Jamz. People don't remember this because it was so long ago, but Kanye didn't have a huge head of steam heading into College Dropout after Through The Wire came out. Not to say it wasn't a dope track (and definitely not to say it's on the same average level as Work Out), but it didn't move the dial. But when Slow Jamz dropped, it was a wrap. All Falls Down and Jesus Walks were incredible records too, but Slow Jamz dropping and shooting straight to #1 was a major factor and Kanye being as successful as he is today. Think about it, Slow Jamz was so huge it not only helped Kanye become a mainstream artist, but also Twista and Jamie Foxx, and all 3 got their first platinum albums in large part because of it.
Bottom line, J. Cole needs to find his Slow Jamz (and Work Out ain't it) or he's not going to make it to the next level.
Silkk The Shocker - Fast Livin Video
When you decided to come to my website today, who was the last person you expected to see a new song/video from? There's at least a 30-40% chance it was Silkk The Shocker. I'm not sure why he all of a sudden decided to start making music again but yeah...
I actually kinda liked it. Not the hook though, that shit was awful, but the verses were decent. I have nothing else to say.
August 15, 2011
Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis Video
Yes! I'm back! So long AT&T, hello Xfinity!
First order of business: the Otis video...
Simple, yet cool as hell. I love all videos with that on time slow motion shit though.
If I had to complain about anything, it'd be the lack of Aziz Ansari speaking. I know he and Kanye are boys, but if you're gonna have the man in the video, might as well have him do some kinda bit. It's not like the video was too long and it would've have fit.
Anyway, enjoy Jeff and Eric Rosenthal, Charlamagne Tha God, and others giving their reaction to the video (and no, I have no idea why Tahiry was there either).
August 14, 2011
Affion Crockett Is Erik Spoelstra
Damn, that looks just like Erik Spoelstra lol.
Anyway, just wanted to remind everyone that In The Flow starts tonight at 9pm on FOX.
August 11, 2011
Common - Ghetto Dreams (feat. Nas) Video
So Common. So Nas. So Hip-Hop.
Oh, and Bria Myles half naked didn't hurt not one bit.
Haitian Child Support Bust
I guess I should've seen this coming, but either way, this is a fucking hilarious parody of that Operation Iron Snare bullshit from Alabama.
Movie Marketing With Paul Rudd & Steve Carell
I saw the trailer for the movie ther other day and it didn't look all that great, so maybe they should take heed to some of these suggestions. Either way, great video.
Catch Steve Carell's movie poster demands after the jump.
Netflix Relief Fund
"This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to white people." HILARIOUS!
I wanted to do a video like this about black kids with ghetto names, but I'm clearly gonna have to step my game up to compete with an awesome parody like this.
Prison Logic With Tijuana Jackson: Why We Have Bad Relationships
If you ain't fucking with Tijuana Jackson by now, I don't even know what your life is about.
Related:
Prison Logic With Tijuana Jackson: Self Fulfilling Prophecy
Thursday Billboard Update - 8/11/11
The only big splash this week comes from Maroon 5 as their new single Moves Like Jagger jumps 17 spots (25-8) and lands in the top 10.
August 10, 2011
Random News Shit: Straight Foolish Edition
1) Alabama Police Trick Delinquent Child Support Payers With Iron Bowl Tickets
I can't be the only one who thinks this is retarded, right? On the surface this seems like a good deed, but take a second to think about why they did this. Do they care about the kids? Probably not. Do they care about the single parents? Definitely not. And people in jail can't make money to pay child support, so again, why did they do it?
Because people in prison make the state a lot more money than people on the street. Seriously, do any of those people in this video look like they can afford to pay the percentage of their child support to get out of jail? of course not. This is nothing more than a money grab by the state of Alabama and it's not a black or white thing, it's a green thing. End of story.
Random News Shit: Misc. NFL News Edition
Forget blood testing for steroids, how about one for illegal drugs because Rexy was definitely on something potent when he made this statement.
In all seriousness, unlike most, I'm not even mad at him for saying it. I mean, what is he supposed to say, "It's clear we're the 4th best team in our division, so I'm just gonna hammer these game checks and maybe we'll have some talent next year"? No, he'd be getting killed by all the football analysts that are laughing at him right now. Of course Washington would be lucky to win 5 games this season, Rex knows that, but he obviously can't say it to reporters.
(Side note: Speaking of the NFC East, everybody seems to think Philadelphia winning is a foregone conclusion, but I'd caution them to remember the Cowboys haven't gone anywhere.)
Ace Hood Visits The Breakfast Club
Well I must say, good for Ace Hood. Rappers going broke isn't anything new, but he stayed with it and dropped a smash hit record. You hear that rappers? He didn't rail against his label or start making diss songs for DJ Khaled, he just kept working and fucked around and made a hit. You can't front on that, so I'm gonna buy his album when Wells Fargo stops fucking up.
Why???: Skip Bayless & Ochocinco Have Twitter Beef
I love Ocho, but shut up nigga, no one hates you.
Ochocinco wasn't the only NFLer to get into it with Skip Bayless today though, Darnell Dockett also decided to call Skippy out for talking about FSU. Check it out:
Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Kelly Rowland
Anyway, enjoy Kelly Rowland trying her darnest to upstage Nicki Minaj by pulling off the rare and highly impressive double nip slip. Nice!
The Rap Battle 2
Everybody absolutely loved the first Rap Battle video, but I thought it was average at best. This one right here though? Fucking hilarious! I mean, neither one of them is fucking with Young Real Nigga, but I still thoroughly enjoyed this video.
The Takeover
I've been watching DashieXP's videos for awhile now, but after watching this one, I thought to myself, "Self, why don't I ever post any of his videos?" And you know what the answer I got back was? It was I don't know because I just made this story up. Anyway, enjoy the video and check out the bloopers after the jump.
White Teens Kill Black Man For Being Black
You would think things like this wouldn't happen in 2011, especially by teenagers, but until all these racist fucks die off, we will never be completely out of the woods. Sadly, it's hard for racists to completely die off because racism is taught, not something you're born with.
But here's a question: Why are those 2 white dudes the only ones being charged? Wasn't there a group of them caught on tape? Yeah, only one of them ran him over (though 3 were in the car), but ALL of them were involved in the beating. My cousin has been sitting in prison since May of 2009 for allegedly being asked if he knew anybody that did murder-for-hires. Not for murdering anyone, not for being hired to murder anyone, but for being asked if he knew anyone that did that. You're telling me he can go straight to prison, but only 2 of these teens can be charged in this beating and murder THAT IS CAUGHT ON TAPE?? Bullshit!
Now while this is all supremely tragic, I don't want people running around saying things like "we have a long way to go in this country." No, Iraq has a long way to go. Pakistan has a long way to go. We have a short distance to go, but we still do need to get there.
But here's a question: Why are those 2 white dudes the only ones being charged? Wasn't there a group of them caught on tape? Yeah, only one of them ran him over (though 3 were in the car), but ALL of them were involved in the beating. My cousin has been sitting in prison since May of 2009 for allegedly being asked if he knew anybody that did murder-for-hires. Not for murdering anyone, not for being hired to murder anyone, but for being asked if he knew anyone that did that. You're telling me he can go straight to prison, but only 2 of these teens can be charged in this beating and murder THAT IS CAUGHT ON TAPE?? Bullshit!
Now while this is all supremely tragic, I don't want people running around saying things like "we have a long way to go in this country." No, Iraq has a long way to go. Pakistan has a long way to go. We have a short distance to go, but we still do need to get there.
August 09, 2011
Jay-Z Tops Forbes List Again
Check out the top 20 earners in Hip-Hop after the jump.
Cee-Lo Green - Cry Baby Video (Starring Jaleel White)
This video is awesome, you gotta love Cee-Lo (even though he's not in the video). The only thing that could've made this video greater is if Kellie Shanygne Williams (aka Laura Winslow) would've played the girl Jaleel Cee-Lo dumped at the beginning. That would've been epic! Oh well, still quite enjoyable regardless.
Well, that is until YouTube takes it down because Cee-Lo infringed on Cee-Lo's copyrights.
Why???: Chris Johnson Introduces His Artists
Has an athlete ever successfully started a record label? I know Shaq had a platinum album once upon a time, but it was released on Jive, not T.W.Is.M. Either way, that hasn't stopped Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson from starting Flashy Lifestyle Entertainment (hopefully this is why he's holding out for more money). In this video above, CJ showcases his artists and one of them even did one of my favorite up-and-coming artist moves and said "You already know it's [insert random rap name I've never heard before]." Oh well, at least Chris isn't rapping anymore.
August 08, 2011
Random News Shit: NFL News Scraps Edition
2) Ravens Sign Ricky Williams
I thought Ricky was planning on retiring? Why didn't the Dolphins want to keep him again? Whatever, they're on the fast track to 3-13.
Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Teyana Taylor
Since she appeared on My Super Sweet 16 back in 2007, I've had a thing for Teyana Taylor. Well, not really when the show aired, but later on when I decided to see if she was really on Star Trak, found her MySpace page, and saw her in a bikini top. Since then, I've been in fucking love! ...Okay, not in love love, but it's something like it because her titties are the shit! The video above only reinforces that sentiment.
Sadly, the video is only 25 seconds (and only about 10 of those seconds are dedicated to Teyana's bra-less bouncing boobs), so as an extra kicker, I added some pics. Enjoy those after the jump while I go wander off and pray she has a Nicki Minaj situation in the near future.
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