A Pointless Dissection Of Lil Wayne's How To Love Video

When I heard the How To Love video dropped the other day, I had no intentions on posting it... then I watched. It was touching, but shockingly hilarious to me at parts. (Oh, so I'm the only person who busted out laughing at this part? Word?)

Ultimately, it left me with more questions than answers, so let us discuss a few since I don't have shit else to do right now.

1) Why does Ray from The Secret World of Alex Mack always get cast as a thug now?
He was a thug in Ordinary People, he was a thug in Janky Promoters, and now he's a thug in How To Love. What's with that? I've heard of being typecast, but dude's signature role was being Alex Mack's best friend, not being a gang member. Somebody fix this by casting him a "Spencer from iCarly-esque" role in the next Nickelodeon sitcom. Thank you.

2) Is there any real reason for this half-second clip of Birdman rubbing his head being inserted in the video?
Not only did it not have anything to do with anything, I'm not even positive he was at the strip club in it (or at least not at the one in the video). For the spotlight to be directly in his face after she walked on stage, he would've had to be sitting with his back to the reflective wall near the entrance curtain. The only problem with that is there's a bouncer standing there and nobody sitting when we get to see more of the club (well, less Birdman decided to leave by the time she made it to the other end of the stage). So again, why was that clip inserted? I mean, we all know Wayne and Birdman may or may not have a physical relationship outside of the music industry, but I just don't see the purpose.

Besides, if he was actually inside the Jet Strip, he would've had a dark pink-ish, purple-ish tent on him like homeless Keanu Reeves did.

3) How did she make all that money without taking off one article of clothing?
Now, I can see how I was the only one to notice Birdman wasn't actually at the Jet Strip, but there's no way I was the only one who noticed homegirl returning back stage with wades of cash while fully dressed. Yeah, she's fine, but fine enough to not strip while stripping? I doubt it. Maybe if she would've got naked on stage she would've made enough money to not have to fuck homeless Keanu and get infected with HIV after her shift. It's a thought.

(Side note: Not only did she not strip, but apparently she didn't plan to either because she went out with tape over her nipples. TAPE OVER HER NIPPLES! Oh, so you can fuck for money but you can't have your nipples seen while stripping? Bitch, you're a stripper, not an actress getting photographed on the red carpet. Remove the tape!

Dammit man, these hoes out here hoin' backwards.)

4) Why does Wayne randomly appear behind her in the motel room after homeless Keanu walks out like the black Grim Reaper dude in the Crossroads video?
Of course homegirl is, once again, fully clothed (despite just having sex), but that's besides the point: Why is Wayne there? He wasn't there at any other point in the video, so why now? The only explanation I can come up with is that he is to giving hoes HIV what black Grim Reaper buddy is to death. That's all I got.

5) Why is her mom with her at the doctor's office?
Now, I've never had HIV before, but is it commonplace for an adult to be accompanied by a parent to find out if they're HIV positive? I just feel like I'd be far too ashamed to want to share that experience with my mom. But then again, I've never been a stripper/prostitute before, so it's possible that I'm just out of the loop.

On the flip side, when the chick's life reverses for the better, I don't get why her mom is there for her pregnancy results either. Though it makes more sense for a mom to be apart of that, opposed to HIV testing, if her reverse-life was so good, why wasn't her man there instead? (And you've got to assume she has a man seeing how not-devastated she was about the pregnancy). We know he's most likely not there for her bad-life babies, so shouldn't this be the opposite?

And on top of all that, doesn't "right after you find out you're pregnant for the first time" seem like an odd time to thank your mom for teaching you how to love? It almost feels like she's thanking her mom for teaching her how to get pregnant.

...Then again, now that I think about it, that would make this doctor scene make more sense because if you're thanking your mom for teaching you how to trap a nigga, he must be a baller. If that's the case, it makes perfect sense that he's not at the appointment, especially if he's an athlete or entertainer.

Yeah, fuck it, let's just assume the alternate to her shitty, HIV-riddled life would be her trapping a rich dude with a baby and being paid. Sounds good to me. Done and done.