Random News Shit: Do I Even Have To Say It? Edition

1) Jets Sign Plaxico Burress To 1 Year Deal

I'm not sure why Plax would want to go back to New York, but that Rex Ryan is one helluva salesman.

Another thing I'm not sure of: Why the Jets chose to bring in Plaxico Burress instead of keep Braylon Edwards. I read the Jets thought he was a diva, but he had a pretty good year last year and Plax was in prison. I could see if you were bringing him in to be the 3rd or 4th receiver, but he's going right into the #2 spot. Sounds dangerous, but oh well, what do I know?

2) Bengals Give Cedric Benson 1 Year Deal

You know you're fucking up in life when you rush for 1,000 yards in back-to-back seasons and all you can get is a one year deal worth $3 million. And with that said, damn I wish I was fucking up in life!

3) Seahawks & Lofa Tatupu 'Mutually Part Ways'
So they're gonna give away one of their best defensive players just because? Damn, the Seahawks are like the anti-Bengals.

4) Frank Gore To End Holdout
I guess that $30,000 every missed practice is too steep a price to pay because the holdout guys are dropping like flies.

5) Olin Kreutz May Retire
I don't know much about Kreutz, but I know the Chicago Bears are pissed he got released. Whatever the front office needs to do to fix this situation they better do it ASAP.

6) Bills Sign Nick Barnett

Apparently one of the reasons Nick picked the Bills was so he could play with Shawne Merriman. Umm, maybe someone should inform him that Shawne is no longer on the PEDs.

7) Cardinals Trade Tim Hightower To Redskins
Oh, my bad, I had no idea the Cards had a plethora of serviceable running backs that made Hightower expendable.

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Joey Jihad 9 Minute Freestyle On The Come Up Show

I thoroughly enjoyed this, so I had to pass it on. If Cosmic Kev would've gave Joey some better beats for his rap style this would've been an all-timer. Joey has come a long way since this.

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Doggisodes Ep. 3

I just found out about this and thought I'd share. You're welcome.

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Drake - Headlines (Prod. By Boi-1da)

Take Care is on the way October 24th!

Drake - Headlines

Wait, this isn't the first single off of Take Care, right? Oh ok, just making sure.

Anyway, this is a pretty decent warm up track for the album (even though I thought that's what Marvin's Room was for). Not great, just good. I'd probably leave it on the chopping room floor if it was my album (or maybe a bonus track), but we'll see if it makes the final cut.

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She Do It!

The only reason I'm posting this is for what took place at this point right here. Amazing, amazing shit.

Why Mz. Twerksum won't stop doing these videos and just go make a killing down at the strip club truly beats me.

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The Mysterious Case Of MTV's Bridge & Tunnel

Wow, that looked incredible!

If you aren't familiar with Bridge & Tunnel, it was basically the original Jersey Shore that MTV spent millions to film but never aired. Besides having an awful name, why in the fuck wouldn't MTV put this ball of greatness on the air?

Earlier, I read somewhere that it was because it was too similar to Jersey Shore (though it was created before it even aired), but if MTV can have Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant airing at the same time and Laguna Beach and The Hills airing at the same time, why couldn't Bridge & Tunnel and Jersey Shore co-exist??

To get the true answer, I guess you've got to read the Bridge & Tunnel cover story on the Village Voice and that's a commitment I'm just not willing to make at this time. Until I am, I supposed I'll be left with a newfound emptiness in my soul.

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Brandon Marshall Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Lost in all the free agency signings and trade is Brandon Marshall coming out and saying his has a mental condition called borderline personality disorder. After reading up on BPD, it just sounds like a fancy word for what we used to call "crazy" back in the olden days. Either way, I wonder if this means he can get back all the money he's paid in fines over the years? (Another thing I wonder: How did his BPD react to finding out he'd be getting Matt Moore instead of Kyle Orton?) Maybe is wife has BPD too, and that's why she stabbed him? You never know, man, you never know.

Anyway, I wonder how many other athletes have BPD? Did Ron Artest have it back in his Pacer days? How about Pacman Jones? His actions are always very BPD-ish. Milton Bradley? Sean Avery? Tonya Harding? Rae Carruth? They all could have BPD and not know it.

Hey, I've got an idea, maybe we should start a "get tested for BPD" campaign? We could make one of those commercials where a bunch of people read one thing and it's cut into little 2 second bits and pasted together. We could have a BPD awareness drive and give out straitjackets and things that count to 10 slowly. Oh, and if we're lucky, we could get a BPD awareness day, or hell, even a BPD awareness month (April, I'm looking at you). And best of all, Brandon Marshall would become to BDP what Magic Johnson was to HIV. Wouldn't that be awesome? Of course it would! (Note to self: start on this immediately!)

SOURCE

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Cole Summer: Episode 2

Am I just tripping or did the Krispy Kreme video not used to be called "Cole Summer: Episode 2" back when I posted it?? Oh well, shit changes all the time, but here's the official 2nd installment of Cole Summer.

Cole World: The Sideline Story coming September 27th!

Related:

Cole Summer: Episode 1

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Random News Shit: You Already Know Edition

1) Eagles Swoop In On Nnamdi Asomugha

Welp, the Nnamdi saga is over and he landed on the Eagles. Good for them. As a Cowboys fan, am I now scared to face Philly? Hell no! Unless the Eagles also signed someone to help Andy Reid with clock management (and yes, I realize this won't matter if they're up 3 touchdown in the first quarter) or can guarantee Mike Vick stays healthy, I'll remain optimistic. Besides, assembling all-star teams never seems to work in football (and according to Adam Schefter they've already begun calling themselves the Dream Team) anyway.

2) Peyton Manning Signs 5-Yr/$90M Deal To Stay In Indy
It's funny, Peyton Manning takes less money and he's called the ultimate teammate, but when LeBron took less money to go to Miami last year he become a unqualified villain. And yeah, LeBron changed teams, but the fact still remains that he took less money. I'm not saying it's racism, but I am saying it's funny.

3) The Bears Sign 3 Former Cowboys

First they signed Roy Williams, then Sam Hurd, and now Marion Barber. I wouldn't be surprised if they were on the phone with Leonard Davis and Marc Colombo as we speak.

I'm not knocking the Bears though, I actually think these are 3 very good signing. Roy Williams get to play for the man who made him a Pro Bowler once upon a time in Mike Martz, Sam Hurd finally gets to prove he's not just a awesome special teams player, and the Barbarian gets to prove he's not done yet. Again, good signings.

4) Eagles Sign Cullen Jenkins

I'm not gonna lie, this one actually hurt me more than the Nnamdi signing and I may or may not be starting to get worried...

5) Ray Edwards Joins Falcons

Hmmmm, Atlanta, huh? Interesting choice for him.

Now I know he's dating LaStarya, but something just seems suspect about this dude. I don't know what it is, but the nipple rings don't help.

6) Nate Clements Agrees With Bengals
Damn, he knows the Bengals are gonna suck this year, right? He didn't steal enough money from the 49ers to get to the point where he wouldn't have to make a money grab on a bad team? I guess not.

7) Broncos Sign Willis McGahee
I'm not sure why they needed McGahee when they already have Knowshon Moreno and LenDale White under contract, but to each his own I guess.

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STFU Award: Consequence

Remember when Rick Ross was being owned in his "beef" with 50 Cent back in 2009 and I started calling him The Delusional Rapper? Well I think it's time to pass the mantle to Consequence for his blatant refusal to face the fact that he's irrelevant. Pusha T didn't steal his lyrics and it's not Kanye's fault he didn't make it. End of story.

Now I've been trying to avoiding talking about this fool in hopes that he would get his shit together and disappear, but nope, the nigga wants to make diss records and make outlandish claims on the radio. Can you believe this nigga actually said he's the "most talked about commodity in Hip-Hop?" Most laughed at? Maybe. But most talked about? Nigga please!

How are you the most talked about and have to tell people to follow you on Twitter in radio interviews?? How are you the most talked about when you can't even crack 10,000 downloads on DatPiff?? Right now, more people are talking about what Odd Future is not doing than what Consequence is. On some real shit, could you name 5 Consequence songs without assistance from Google or clicking that DatPiff link? I know I couldn't, and neither could anyone outside of in his immediate family, and even that's not a given.

The truly sad part is that Cons isn't even washed up, he never even made it to the water. Like Pusha T said, nobody has ever said they wanted to hear Consequence. Knowing that, you'd think he'd be more grateful for his opportunity, but nope he carries on like this instead. That's why he's the new Delusional Rapper and that's why he's getting the STFU Award. Consequence, just take the L and shut the FUCK up, please.

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Random News Shit: Even More NFL Mania Edition

1) Chad Ochocinco Traded To New England
FUCK! These niggas just got Albert Haynesworth AND Ochocinco for two 5th round picks and a 6th round pick! Again, how does this keep happening?!? Maybe we should just mail the Lombardi Trophy to New England now. FUCK!

2) Kevin Kolb Finally Traded To Arizona
Any time you can trade a starting CB and a 2nd-round pick for a back-up QB with a 11-14 touchdown-to-interception ratio you got to do it, right Arizona? Oh, and don't let me forget the 5-year/$63.5 million contract that came along with it for Kolb. Can you say winning? No? Rightfully so.

3) Eagles Agree To Deal With Vince Young
Technically the Eagles aren't allowed to talk to Vince Young yet because he hasn't cleared waivers, but according to Albert Breer of NFL.com it's a done deal. Good for the Eagles because Mike Vick is likely to get beat the hell up again this year.

4) Texans Snag Jonathan Joseph From Bengals

Welp, there's another DB that won't be wearing a star on the side of his helmet this year. This sucks, our secondary is thinner than a sheet of paper. We need bodies!

Anyway, Joseph is getting $48.75 million over the next 5 years with $23.5 million in guarantees.

5) Panthers Give Jon Beason 5-Yr/$50 Million Extension

And $25 million in guaranteed money. The Panthers are ballin' out right now!

6) Clint Session Leave Colts For Jaguars

Blanche Ely's own Clint Session returns to Florida with the Jags for $29 million over the next 5 years including $11.5 million in guaranteed money. On the surface this doesn't make sense, but he had a chance to get paid, so he took it.

7) Saints Replace Reggie Bush With Darren Sproles
Sproles' new deal with the Saints is 4 years, $14 million. Six million of that is guaranteed. The Chargers couldn't match that?

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Thursday Billboard Update - 7/28/11

Adele's 21 returns to #1 this week for her 11th non-consecutive week atop the Billboard 200. DJ Khaled's We The Best Forever debuts at #5 with 53,100 sold. Amy Winehouse's Back To Black re-enters the charts at #9 with 37,300 following a 3,140% sales increase. Not sure why it re-entered the Billboard 200 and not the Top Pop Catalog like Michael Jackson was forced to back in 2009? Remember, Billboard said any album more than 18-months old and below spot 100 was considered a "catalog album" and that's why MJ took over the Top Pop Catalog and instead of the Billboard 200 like he was supposed to? What happened, Billboard? Whatever, expect Back To Black to make a run at #1 next week.

I'm not sure how LMFAO's bullshit ass song stays at #1, but it does. Then again, one glance at numbers 2-4 let's you know America is clearly lost musically. Anyway, Bad Meets Evil's Lighters featuring Bruno Mars finally tracks the top 10 at #10.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Adele - 21 (3-1)
2. Kidz Bop Kids - Kidz Bop 20 (2)
3. 3 Doors Down - Time Of My Life (3)
4. Beyonce - 4 (5-4)
5. DJ Khaled - We the Best Forever (5)
6. Blake Shelton - Red River Blue (1-6)
7. 311 - Universal Pulse (7)
8. Jason Aldean - My Kinda Party (7-8)
9. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black (9)
10. Selena Gomez & The Scene - When The Sun Goes Down (10-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem (1-1)
2. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (3-2)
3. Pitbull - Give Me Everything (2-3)
4. Nicki Minaj - Super Bass (5-4)
5. Adele - Rolling In The Deep (4-5)
6. Lil Wayne - How To Love (6-6)
7. Hot Chelle Rae - Tonight Tonight (9-7)
8. Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory (7-8)
9. OneRepublic - Good Life (8-9)
10. Bad Meets Evil - Lighters (17-10)

Jay-Z and Kanye West's (or The Throne as they're now being called) Otis debuts at #47. This marks the first time Otis Redding has appeared on since 1969, 2 years after his death in 1967 at age 26 (damn, he missed the "27 Club" by 273 days).
Pitbull's Rain Over Me featuring Marc Anthony flies 22 spots 81-59.
Drake's Marvin's Room finally debuts at #68.
50 Cent's Outlaw debuts at #87. Take that Interscope!
Big Sean wildly overrated Marvin Gaye & Chardonnay with Kanye and Roscoe Dash debuts at #88.
Miguel's Quickie debuts at #95.
DJ Drama's Oh My featuring Fabolous, Roscoe Dash, and Wiz Khalifa debuts at #100.

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Random News Shit: More NFL Mania Edition

1) Patriots STEAL Albert Haynesworth For 5th Round Pick In 2013!

Not even a 5th round pick in this draft, a 5th round in 2013! Oh, and did I mention the Redskins have already paid him the bulk of his contract, so New England will only be on the hook for $5.4 million? That is insane! How do the Patriots keep doing this?! Are they extreme couponing when they make deals or what? Something's gotta give.

2) Dolphins Trade For Reggie Bush
Oddly, there's still no word on what the Dolphins gave up, but it better not be anything higher than the 5th round pick the Pats just gave away to steal Albert Haynesworth. Either way, Reggie had to restructure his deal to make this worth and he's now getting $9.75 million over the next 2 years.

I talked to my Dolphins fan friend Tyler and he hates this move, but I think it's okay. I don't think Reggie is going to change into the unstoppable force Haynesworth is about to re-become up in New England, but he should give them something, especially if they insist on keeping the Wildcat offense. Besides, that's a reasonable price for Reggie, remember, he's only 26 years old.

3) Eagles Sign Jason Babin To A 5 Year Deal

No word on what they compensation is just yet, but this is a good deal for the Eagles...which unfortunately makes it a bad deal for the Cowboys. Oh well.

4) Chris Kluwe Sets His Price For Vikes #5 Jersey

Sounds like a good deal to me, Donovan should definitely take it.

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Random News Shit: On That Bullshit Edition

1) 5th Eddie Long Accuser Uncovered
This is a joke, right? These folks didn't really waste spend 7 weeks working on this story did they? No way. No fucking way!

Oh, they did? This isn't a comedy sketch? Wow.

Seriously though, get the whole entire fuck outta here with this nigga Centino. This fruit booty is trying to act like he doesn't want the attention knowing damn well his ass probably called them fools down there. I'm supposed to believe he just happened to be coming out of the studio when the camera crew showed up  and then he just happened to have a limo waiting for him to leave? Yeah fucking right! And did you see how he tried to walk by and act like he didn't see the cameras and the reporter? Negro please.

Now, I'm not saying he didn't fuck Imposter Eddie Long, I'm sure Centino was his main bitch and they had a real (gay) relationship (which is why he has the tattoo), but there's not even an ant's dick worth of a chance he doesn't think this "shine" would help him break into the music industry.

It's sad what people do for attention. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he comes out with a tell-all book (or at least a tell-all Worldstar video). Yep, we're officially on the clock.

2) BET Cancels The Monique Show
Oh no! Now where am I gonna see all the chitlin circuit celebrities, has been musicians, and canceled TV show reunions? I bet we were this close to a Soul For Real reunion too!

The Monique Show, gone before its time... just like most of its guests.

In all seriousness though, I love Monique, but this show was fucking bad. I remember I saw it recently and she and Rodney Perry were doing a "Who's on First?" bit that couldn't have be any less funny if Doug Williams walked out and did his Emmitt Smith Roast jokes without Jamie Foxx. I've seen Monique absolutely kill in person doing stand-up, so it was really hard to watch her show and that's why I'm happy it's gone. Monique is so much better than that shit.

3) Jalen Rose Gets 20 Days Jail Sentence For DUI

Congrats Detroit, you just jailed one of the only people who is doing anything for your shitty city. Smart.

4) Alex Trebek Injured Chasing A Burglar
Now Alex Trebek knows good and damn well he's too damn old to be chasing down a burglar. I don't care if it was a 56 year-old broad he was chasing, the nigga is waaaaaaaay too old to be doing it. And now he has a football injury to show for it. You know what though? He totally deserves it. I mean, is Alex Trebek really hurting for money to the point he has to chase down a burglar at age 71? Of course not! He's been hosting Jeopardy longer than I've been alive, he's straight financially and can afford to replace whatever that bitch took a million times over.

And yes, I understand the bracelet was a gift from his mom, but come the fuck on Alex. You're rich.

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50 Cent Cancels His Rap Career

Sadly, 50 not putting out albums is probably the best news Interscope has heard in awhile. I fuck with 50, but he's just not relevant musically anymore. Well, not in the United States at least.

At this point, I'm pretty sure it would cost Interscope a hell of a lot more money to put out a new 50 Cent album that it would make them in return. Think about it, 50 still thinks he's the hottest thing in the world, so I'm sure he spared no expense when creating the album and you know he's gonna want a grand marketing scheme like he's about to release one of his first 3 albums. Then the SoundScan numbers will come in, it'll struggle to crack 100,00 units first week, take a 60+% dive the following week, and end up only selling about 250,000 total. Of course, 50 will blame them (again) and they'll be left with a huge loss and a disgruntle artist. Right now they have a disgruntle artist, but haven't loss any money on him. Sounds like a win to me.

Again, I really like 50, but it's not 2003 anymore (in fact, Get Rich Or Die Trying is less than 2 years away from its 10th anniversary), and it's time to move on. Longevity just wasn't meant for him, but who cares, he's fucking rich. Mission accomplished.

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TM103 Gets A(nother) Release Date

As you might have realized, Thug Motivation 103 did not come out this past Tuesday the 26th as previously planned, but no need to fear, Young Jizzle got a new date--September 20th. Hopefully this one will stick since his third first single Shake Life will hit radio August 1st.

SOURCE

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Random News Shit: NFL Free Agent Mania Edition

1) Plaxico Burress Likely To Re-Sign With Either Giants Or Steelers

Well that's dope, he can either go to his first NFL home or his 2nd and last. If I was him, I'd go with the Steelers, not only are they better, but I doubt Pennsylvania would make him do 2 years in prison for shooting himself. Yeah, he had awesome chemistry with Eli Manning, but I'd be like fuck New York if I was Plax.

Welp, at least his has suitors. Before he got locked up, some folks thought he wouldn't play in the NFL again.

2) Jets, Santonio Holmes Agree To 5-Yr/$50 Million Deal

And that's with $24 million dollars in guaranteed money. I know Santonio is a former Super Bowl MVP, but really, he got that much money? He's not even a top 10 WR in the league. Hell, is he even top 15? This is an atrocious deal, but oh well fuck it, at least they probably won't be able to sign Nnamdi Asomugha or re-sign Braylon Edwards. Wait a minute...

3) DeAngelo Williams Re-Signs With The Panthers
The deal is worth $43 million over 5 years with $21 million in guaranteed money. Sucks for the Dolphins because I know they didn't want to bring Ronnie Brown back and probably don't want to bring Marion Barber in. Oh well, the Panthers paid damn near everybody today so it'd only make sense for them to back up the Brinks truck for DeAngelo.

4) Sidney Rice Leaves Minnesota For Seattle

I guess he wasn't a big fan of the Donovan McNabb trade. Oh well, at least he gets to catch passes from Tavaris Jackson again. Awesome.

Anyway, the deal with the Seahawks is 5-years/$41 million.

The Seahawks also snapped up Robert Gallery from the Raiders today.

5) Chargers Give Eric Weddle 5-Yr/$40 Million Deal
With $19 million in guaranteed money. Yep, that makes Weddle the highest paid safety in the league. I won't lie, I wanted the guy in a Cowboys' uniform, but not that bad. I ain't mad at him though, get that paper.

6) Matt Hasselbeck Joins The Titans
No word on how long the deal is or how much it's worth, but now it's only a matter of time before Vince Young hits the free agent pool. He may be the last decent QB left in it by then too.

7) Cowboys Give Doug Free $32 Million For 4 Years

Nice! Now we need some help in for secondary. It won't matter how strong our offensive line is if our DBs can't stop anybody. Go get Cromartie or Joseph!

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Donovan McNabb Headed To Minnesota In Trade

Donovan McNabb will have to re-structure his contract before this deal can become official, but this seems to be a done deal. Good look for McNabb and I'm happy to finally get him out of the NFC East. Hopefully Washington also goes through with their plans to start John Beck this season. That would be so awesome for my Cowboys.

SOURCE

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Mano a Mano in El Baño

If you've missed this battle between the Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa and Fabio today, you've missed pure internet greatness. I'm not even gonna say shit else, just go to Old Spice's YouTube channel and catch up. It's classic classicness, trust me.

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Pill Speaks On His Mother's Death

I'm not a big fan of Pill's music, but it's hard to not root for people who've lost their mother. Obviously my mother is still alive and relatively well, but I have multiple friends with mothers that have passed away and that is just something you never get over.

Sorry for being Captain Obvious, just wanted to give Pill my support.

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Threw It On The Ground

Gangsta shit right here my nigga, straight up gangsta ass shit!

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Cowboys Cut Roy Williams & Others

Yes, Lord, yes! Finally Roy Williams is a former Dallas Cowboys. Man, that was the longest abortion ever!

Sadly, Roy wasn't the only Cowboy to visit Valley Ranch for the final time today, Marion Barber, Leonard Davis, and Kris Brown were also told not to report to training camp in San Antonio tomorrow because they were being released.

I'm gonna miss the Barberian and his reckless running style, but I know we're gonna be fine with Felix Jones and Tashard Choice. I'll also miss big Leonard Davis. He had a bad year last year (including getting benched against Tennessee), but I'm not sure we have anybody to replace him with. Strangely, even though there's no replacement for him as of yet (and please don't say Montrae Holland because he's only 2 years younger, injury prone, and a whole lot worse), the move still makes sense because we actually save more money by cutting Davis ($6 million), than we did by cutting Roy ($5 million) or Barber ($4.7 million).

Going back to Roy, it'll be fun to see how the 2011 Cowboys WRs corps will be now that we aren't financially forced to start an underachiever. We know Miles Austin and Dez Bryant will be the starter, but we don't know who 3-5 will be. The obvious choice would be to bump up Kevin Olgetree, Sam Hurd, and Jesse Holley, but I wonder what the possibility would be of bringing back Patrick Crayton? I know it's unlikely (unless he's cut from the Chargers), just putting it out there. Either way, I hope we give Sam Hurd a real shot this year because he never really got it in the past.

SOURCE

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Nicki Minaj Fined $1,000 For Explicit Lyrics & Sexual Dances In Jamaica

Fortunately for Nicki, $1,000 in Jamaica only shakes out to be $11.70 in American dollars, according to CoinMill.com. Shit, I guess that means Biggs and Wayne only stole about $32 from the truck driver in the opening scene of "Shottas." (Hmm, all this money conversion talk makes me wonder how much a bag of weed costs in Jamaica? I like to think they have it shooting out of fountains for free like we do water here in the U.S.)

Anyway, what the fuck is wrong with Jamaica? Has Jamaica never been to Jamaica? Their biggest exports are weed, explicit music, and sexual dances, but they're fining our artists for doing it in their country? That's like going to Ireland and getting fined for drinking beer, or going to Africa and getting fined for being hungry. Jamaica, y'all niggas are fuckin' up!

SOURCE

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The Game Signing With Cash Money?

As if it wasn't hard enough for Game to get a release date for his current album, he's in discussions to possibly join Cash Money. Here's what he told XXL:

"I talk to Baby everyday. We been playing with the idea of going over to Cash Money or trying to marry that and Black Wall Street. So, we'll figure it out before the end of the day. I definitely think that's where I'll probably end up. Cause they winning, they want to win and I been winning and want to continue to win."

There's that scent of desperation again...

SOURCE

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Dolly Parton Freestyles On Stage In L.A.

The year of white people rapping, I don't know how many times I have to tell y'all!

Bam Margera joins the white folks rapping fun as well!

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Ninja Turtles Cereal

This isn't Hip-Hop or sports, but it is fuckin' cool. I've always been a huge Ninja Turtle fan (which is why I own nunchucks and sais), but even I don't remember this cereal. Or hell, maybe I do somewhere in my brain, I mean, I was only 5 in 1990 and I don't exactly remember everything I did and saw back then. You know what? It doesn't even matter.

Anyway, speaking of the Ninja Turtles, check out one of my favorite pornstars, April O'Neil, at Comic Con dressed up as April O'Neil. Sweet!

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Pill Spits His First Rhyme

I just thought it was cool he even remembered it because most rappers don't. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things, but fuck it, it's already embedded.

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Watch The Documentary

Generally, I avoid such things in fear of them having unheard music I'm gonna be pissed off I can't hear in its entirety just yet, but I braved through this one for the sake of...for the sake of... well, actually I don't even know why.

Whatever, I liked it, so I thank @Twitt_Tay for bring it to my attention.

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End Of The NFL Lockout Is Really In Sight

"And now, the end is near, And so I face the final curtain." Thank you Lord, thank you Lord! We all knew it was gonna happen eventually, but the way the player had been belly aching the past few days about not doing things on the owner's timeline, who knew?

And yes, I was on the side of the players, but the owners straight mopped them in all the parts that were already agreed to in this deal anyway, so they might as well had agreed to it Thursday or Friday. It was already "negotiated" that they'd only be getting 48% of the revenue pie (down 2%), so I'm sure nothing major changed over the past couple days. All they seemed to do was prolong the process and make folks upset. Win, owners.

Oh well, at least they got less offseason practices. Awesome for them.

Whatever, crank the Sinatra, DJ!

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Under Construction

I've been feeling this way for awhile now, but it is finally time to give FiyahMuZik.com a new look. This one was nice while it lasted, but it's dated as fuck.

Don't worry, none of the content is going anywhere and I'm not shutting the shit down, I just wanted to take this weekend to look at some new options and try shit out. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, don't be freaked if you come here and see the site looking crazy. Just bare with me.

**UPDATE**

As you can see, the new website is coming together nicely, but it is not yet done. We're very close, but I still have to tie up some small malfunctions (like that big white bar at the top for example). Enjoy what's here so far though.

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R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

Sad, sad, sad. Not surprising, not shocking, just sad.

SOURCE

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The Game - Uncle Otis (Everyone Diss)

I guess The Game got his confidence up now that he finally got a release date for The R.E.D. Album because he's dissing half the rap game. Jay-Z, Diddy, Rick Ross, Big Sean, Kreayshawn, Tyler The Creator, Frank Ocean, Wiz Khalifa, Mark Anthony, and a few others all catch disses, but go ahead and take a listen for yourself.

The Game - Uncle Otis (Everyone Diss)

Do you smell that? What is that? Oh, wait, I think I know... no, I know I know that smell! That's... that's... DESPERATION!

Yo, Game GOTTA get all the way the fizzuck out of here with this bullshit, and that's coming a true fan of his. I understand his records aren't getting much spin these days and he wants to get hot again, but this ain't the way to do it. Especially when he JUST told Chris Brown to focus on himself and that "BEEF aint gettin n!ggas nowhere these days" after Chris Twitter beefed with Odd Future (and that's not to mention that came right after he told "the homie" Tyler and Frank Ocean "don't fuck it up by beefin'" and to "FOCUS niggas FOCUS"). I know the nigga is bi-polar, but damn!

I mean, I don't like Kreayshawn either, and I definitely don't agree with her (oops, I mean "her sister") using the N-word, but if I was a multi-platinum selling artist (that fell off) I'm not gonna diss her. And I'm definitely not gonna diss Odd Future, specifically Tyler The Creator. It's not that he's some super lyrical genius who could murder Game with one verse, but rather because he has the white kids on lock right now. Now I'm not about to hit you with the "only white kids buy albums" myth, but I will say that that's not exactly a group you want to alienate as your album approaches.

Basically, all Game just did was paint a huge ass red target on himself to be the laughing stock of the industry when The R.E.D. Album inevitably flops (and yes, it's gonna flop hard). Welp, see you then.

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WTF Is Going On With Shawty Lo's Hair? Part 2

Last week I wrote about Shawty Lo's beard looking painted on. Come to find out, the nigga's whole head looks like a black leather couch, not just his beard. 50 probably should've take this into consideration before signing him. I mean, the deal was gonna lose 50 money regardless, but it seems like it should've come up in negotiations once or twice.

Well, instead of dissecting what's going on in Shawty Lo's head (literally), I'll just leave y'all with a few childish jokes about it.

Shawty Lo looks like a thugged out black Ken doll. Shawty Lo looks like he's auditioning for the lead role in a Kool Keith biopic. Shawty Lo looks like a mural of Shawty Lo. Shawty Lo looks like a freshly Armor Alled tire. Shawty Lo looks like a rotten candy apple. Shawty Lo looks like he's wearing a silk bandana. Shawty Lo looks like he's wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers helmet.
Shawty Lo looks like the top of my remote control. Shawty Lo looks like Djimon Hounsou's shoulder. Okay, I'm done.

(Side note: Isn't Royce Reed like 30-something with a young child? She doesn't think it's about time to stop going to the club and being a groupie? Yeah, she's younger than Jennifer and Evelyn, but neither of them have a young kid at home. I guess it's cool to club and be a groupie in your 20's, but much like braids, you need to get over it once you hit 30, especially when you have a young child at home.

And I don't wanna hear that she was hosting a party or that it was only an one night thing. If she's going to the club to hang out with Shawty Lo, she's definitely going to the club it to hang out with Jeezy, Ross, Wayne or whatever rapper you name that's bigger than Lo. And that's not even to mention whenever a ball player has a party. Royce, go sit your old ass down somewhere, please.

...No really, go sit down somewhere, we need more crotch shots like this one.)

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Cornholio Back, Cornholio Back...

"Beavis & Butt-Head" is returning to MTV this fall and this is the first look at the new stuff. I'm not sure if it'll catch on with the youth this go-round or it'll just be watched by 30 and 40-something Generation X-ers, but I'm happy they're back. Plus, it gives us all a break from MTV promoting teen pregnancy.

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JoJo Goes Gangsta, But That's NOT The Funniest Part Of This Video...

It's easily buddy with the little weed hole cut into of his bandana. Dude's rap name is "Murdah Baby," and that's already a violation in itself, but the weed hole in the bandana shit is just wild. I mean, obviously dude has a real job and concealing his identity is important, but why not just get a sky mask? It's not like people who know you won't be able to tell who you are just because they can't see your whole mouth.

I'm not gonna dwell on buddy too much though because I don't wanna get murdah'd, baby.

Anyway, niggas can say what they want about JoJo, but he had some pretty nice bars on here. Yeah, some of the shit he's talking about isn't truthful, but for goodness sake, one of the biggest rappers in the game was a police officer a few years ago. Give the kid a break.

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Freddy Krueger Enters Mortal Kombat

If you were wondering why Freddy Krueger was trending on Twitter all day yesterday and still this morning, it's because he's been added Mortal Kombat as downloadable content. Of course it'll cost you $5 to do so, but I guess it's nice to know the option is there.

SOURCE

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George C. Scott Doesn't Like Adam Sandler's New Movie

When I first saw this, I thought it was a comedy skit and that the Adam Sandler movie "Jack and Jill" was made up (you know, like what "Simple Jack" was to "Tropic Thunder"). Nope that's not the case at all, "Jack and Jill" is real and (unfortunately) coming to a theater near you November 11th.

I really like Sandler, but this shit looks worse than awful, it looks wawful! Get it? Worse, awful, wawful. Nevermind, that joke was a bigger abortion than this movie is sure to be.

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Katt Williams Dissing Niggas Via Freestyle

Fuck Katt talking about Foxx, Martin, Steve Harvey and everybody else, the nigga is clearly high off some shit that is not weed. I never smoked weed before, but I know a lot of people who have and none of them have ever did military push-ups and freestyled while high. Nope, Mr. Katt Williams is gone off something else.

This isn't our first hint at Katt's non-weed drug use though, just think about his last few arrests: He burglarized a house he was staying in and he had a stand-off with a tractor trailer. And that's not even mentioning the nigga's mugshot.

Well hopefully Katt can bounce back from his (hard) drug use and make a comedy comeback. It's crazy that the hottest nigga in comedy from 2006-2008 has fallen off this hard already.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 7/21/11

Six new albums debuted this week, but unfortunately none of them are really worth mentioning.

Nothing worth mentioning on the Hot 100 either.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Blake Shelton - Red River Blue (1)
2. Incubus - If Not Now, When? (2)
3. Adele - 21 (2-3)
4. Chris Young - Neon (4)
5. Beyonce - 4 (1-5)
6. Colbie Caillat - All Of You (6)
7. Jason Aldean - My Kinda Party (6-4)
8. Theory of a Deadman - The Truth Is... (8)
9. Sublime With Rome - Yours Truly (9)
10. Selena Gomez & The Scene - When The Sun Goes Down (3-10)

• Brian McKnight's Just Me debuts at #39 with 10,400 sold.
• The Cool Kids' When Fish Ride Bicycles debuts at #76 with 6,500 sold.
• MellowHype's Blackenedwhite debuts at #81 with 6,200 sold.
  

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem (1-1)
2. Pitbull - Give Me Everything (2-2)
3. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (4-3)
4. Adele - Rolling In The Deep (3-4)
5. Nicki Minaj - Super Bass (5-5)
6. Lil Wayne - How To Love (7-6)
7. Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory (6-7)
8. OneRepublic - Good Life (8-8)
9. Hot Chelle Rae - Tonight Tonight (9-9)
10. Demi Lovato - Skyscraper (10)

• Lupe Fiasco and Trey Songz's increasingly annoying record Out Of My Head jumps 15 more spots 57-42.
• T-Pain's Booty Wurk (One Cheek At A Time) debuts at #44.

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David Banner On The N-Word

I couldn't agree with Banner any more on the 3 topics he tackled in this video.

Aight, that's it. I'm going to sleep.

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Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis (feat. Otis Redding) (Prod. by Kanye West)

While my internet was down, news broke that Watch The Throne had finally received a release date. August 1st is the day it will be available digitally and August 5th is the day it'll be in stores. Not sure why that is, but okay.

Jay-Z & Kanye West - Otis (feat. Otis Redding) (Prod. by Kanye West)

Let me find out getting this song cleared was the big hold up with Watch The Throne being released. My nigga, I swear I will FLIP! I've listened to this song 3 or 4 times around and can't help, but feel severely underwhelmed. In fact, I couldn't be any more disappointed in a Hov/Kanye record unless it had auto-tune on it.

First off, this beat is trash. The Otis Redding sample is annoyingly repetitive and sounds like it was whipped up by a kid who just learned how to do samples on Fruity Loops. Next, Hov's verses were lazy as hell. It's safe to say Kanye murked Jay on this record, but that isn't much of a feat considering how weak Jay's verses were. Last, what was up with that crazy salvo of screams at the end? Was that really necessary? Shit was loud as fuck, it felt like Mariah Carey was sitting on my eardrum singing her greatest hits.

Now I realize this is just a radio rip (that I actually hope is of an incomplete, unmixed, unmastered record), but that doesn't stop the overwhelming disappointment. Oh well, we'll see what's up when the album leaks next week.

**UPDATE**

Otis is actually starting to grow on me quite a bit. Kanye still murderized Hov, but the I feel less disappointed today than I did Wednesday. I'm officially ready to Watch The Throne.

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Lil Mama Cries On The Breakfast Club

And no, it was NOT because Charlamagne was being an asshole. If you read anything about this video today it probably said he made her cry, but actually she didn't start crying until she started talking about her mother. That makes me believe most people didn't even bother to watch the entire interview for themselves, but you know how that go these days. Everybody's always in a rush to post shit first when it generally doesn't matter, but that's the world we live in today.

Anyway, the biggest thing I got out of this interview is how much Lil Mam looks like Bow Wow in the face. Those niggas look like twins! I know I'm not breaking any news with this, but if one day is does come out that Mama is older than she says, I'm automatically gonna assume she's really Bow Wow's mom. I mean, seriously, when was the last time we've seen her? When he was like 13? Lil Mama/Bow Wow Mama, I got my eye on you/y'all.

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South Park Renewed For 2 More Seasons

Like many others out there, I thought South Park was coming to an end after the "You're Getting Old" episode, but evidently not. Not only will season 15 resume October 5th, but for 2 additional season after that. Awesome.......ish.

I say awesome-ish because season 15 didn't really start off all that great. Don't get me wrong, it didn't suck, but it was really hit-or-miss, which makes me think Matt and Trey may be wearing down or losing their touch.

...Or they could've just been too busy working on their critically acclaimed play "Book Of Moron" to put their full attention into the creation of season 15. Who knows?

Well whatever the case is, let's just hope the 2nd half of season 15 is better than the first.

SOURCE

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The Year Of White People Rapping Continues

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My Internet Is Back

Sorry, didn't mean to leave all abruptly, but my internet was off like a mug this week. I'm probably about to see what Comcast be 'bout, so hopefully this doesn't happen again. Aight, let's get back busy!

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Yes! The VMAs Are August 28th!

Thank you, Lord! Thank you!

If you're wondering why I'm so excited about the date of the VMAs, it's because for the past few years the VMAs have been on the same night as the first Sunday night football, and the Cowboys were scheduled to play in that game for a 3rd time in 5 years. I HATE trying to flip back and forth between the Cowboys and the VMAs (even though both sucked last year), so thank goodness I won't have to do that this year.

...Well, if there's a football season.

SOURCE

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Please Tell Me Girls Aren't Really Doing This

While watching "That 70's Show" re-runs on Nick @ Nite last night, an infomercial for Snap-On Feathers hair accessories. After starring in disbelief for a few beats, I began to wonder if this was actually a new craze, or were these fools just trying to move product? I know basic ass feather earrings are a new fad for females in 2011 (and they've already been nominated for Lamest Trends in the 2011 L.A.M.E. Awards), but is this Dog The Bounty Hunter swag catching on as well?

Unfortunately (or hell, maybe fortunately), I have no way of knowing since I'm not in high school and I don't go to clubs, but if you are (in high school) or do (go to the club), please, please, please tell me these hoes aren't out here with feathers in their hair for real.

I hope not, but knowing hoes, who knows.

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Ludacris Releasing New Mixtape Before Ludaversal

Ludaversal is supposed to be dropping at some point in 2012, but before the album Luda is planning on putting out a new mixtape with all new material. Fast forward to about 1 minute into the video to hear him speak on it.

Personally, I rather hear a Luda mixtape full of random freestyles (like 2008's The Preview), but I'll take any new Luda music so it's all good.

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Hal Rudnick Visits Anchorman XXX Parody Set

This porn parody doesn't look like shit (those hoes were garbage as fuck), but Hal Rudnick visited the set anyway. I'm glad he did too because the guy playing Brian Fantana (whom, unfortunately, was not wearing any Sex Panther) giving his take on the earthquakes in Japan while being fucked was GREAT! One day, I too dream of doing something that cool. One day.

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Go Back To School Lil Twist!

He says he has plans to go back to school and get his diploma "very soon," but even that isn't soon enough. You and I both know this nigga ain't gon' make it, so instead of telling kids to stay in school, he should be telling himself. Don't act like y'all didn't see/hear that fuck shit he performed at the BET Awards last months. Not one person could have seen/heard that shit and thought "Yeah, he's got a shot." Nope, so it's only a matter of time before he's dropped from Young Money and is forced to blend back into civilization.

My advice: Go back and finish high school ASAP and see if you can enroll in college and have Birdman pay for it. You're welcome, Lil Twist.

(Side note: It's nice that he's hopeful he'll get a 2nd album, but is there any chance the 1st one ever gets released? Lil Wayne got his album pushed back several times and it's "his" label. Lil Twist doesn't stand a chance.)

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The Greatest Commercial On TV!

No, not an Old Spice commercial and not a Dos Equis commercial, I'm talking bout this SoBe spot starring Kate Upton and her glorious boobs. I don't mind ignoring the god awful soundtrack to this ad one bit thanks to those titties. I'd have a staring contest with those titties any time. Oh, and don't even get me started on that fucking face! Damn, damn, damn.

Question: I know Amber Rose is super fine, but if Kanye really left Amber for Kate (which he didn't), looks wise would that be a downgrade, upgrade, or lateral move?

After much deliberation in my head, I'm gonna have to go with lateral move. Kate and Amber both have outrageously awesome tits, so that's a tie. Amber dominates Kate in the ass department, but Kate kills her facially, so that's why I went with lateral. Thoughts?

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Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Serena Williams At The ESPYs

Move over Free's Ass, here comes Serena's Ass AND Titties!

I actually stopped watching the ESPYs after Adam Carolla's "Car Show" on Speed, but I wish I hadn't just to see Serena. Shit, shit, shit, gotdamn!

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Thursday Billboard Update - 7/14/11

Beyonce's 4 remains at #1 for a 2nd week with 115,200 sold. Lloyd's King Of Hearts debuts at #10 with 26,400 sold. I told you showing homegirl naked in his video would help with his sales.

Nothing poppin' over on the Hot 100, LMFAO is still #1 and there are no new entries in the top 10.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Beyonce - 4 (1-1)
2. Adele - 21 (2-2)
3. Selena Gomez & The Scene - When The Sun Goes Down (4-3)
4. Jason Aldean - My Kinda Party (6-4)
5. Bad Meets Evil - Hell: The Sequel (9-5)
6. Jackie Evancho - Dream With Me (8-6)
7. Jill Scott - The Light Of The Sun (5-7)
8. Lady Gaga - Born This Way (12-8)
9. Big Sean - Finally Famous (3-9)
10. Lloyd - King Of Hearts (10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem (1-1)
2. Pitbull - Give Me Everything (2-2)
3. Adele - Rolling In The Deep (3-3)
4. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (4-4)
5. Nicki Minaj - Super Bass (5-5)
6. Lady Gaga - The Edge Of Glory (6-6)
7. Lil Wayne - How To Love (8-7)
8. OneRepublic - Good Life (9-8)
9. Hot Chelle Rae - Tonight Tonight (10-9)
10. Katy Perry - E.T. (7-10)

• Lupe Fiasco and Trey Songz's increasingly annoying record Out Of My Head jumps 12 spots 69-57.
• Trey Songz's Unusual slide up 9 spaces 77-68.
• Frank Ocean's Novacane debuts at #82.
• J. Cole's Work Out debuts at #85.

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The Other Casey Anthony

Damn, how unfortunate. No, not that this man's name is Casey Anthony (though that clearly sucks too), but that there are people dumb enough to think Killer Casey Anthony is a 40-something year-old black dude from Philly. It's truly sad to know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who actually thought they were making contact with Killer Casey. And besides the fact that she's clearly in a cell block and and not in cyberspace, I just don't get why one would think checking her Facebook would be a top priorities for her these days. Like she's chillin' at home saying "Hmm, everyone in the United States hates me... Oh well, let's see what's poppin' on Facebook." It sad to know people in our society are this fucking stupid. Makes me sad for my daughter.

Anyway, the real travesty in this all is that the black Casey Anthony went all George Forman on us and named 2 of his sons after himself. The harassment doesn't seem all that bad when you look at it that way. Sucks for those boys though, I mean, who gets to be called Junior? Oh Lord, I just thought about something: What if he had them by 2 different women and they're both Casey Anthony Jr. and have never met? If that is the case, then all of the inconvenience he's experiencing is well deserved.

2) Woman Chops Off Her Husband's Dick
And not only did she just his dick off, but she also threw the remains in the garbage disposal. Ladies, there has got to be a better way of telling your man he's wack in bed. This shit was totally uncalled for!

On a serious note though, let this be a lesson to all men: If you see your soon-to-be ex-wife buying rope, sleeping pills and she suddenly decides to cook you dinner, she's about to cut your dick off. It's just science. (Side note: Who knows why he thought it'd be a good idea to eat a dinner prepared by his soon-to-be ex-wife.)

This is a very sad story (especially for the guys who were assigned to fish penis particles out of the garbage disposal), but look on the bright side: The crazy bitch seems to be Asian, so if he was too, his missing penis shouldn't be too noticeable when he starts dating again. You're welcome for the clarity, sir.

3) 5 Year-Old Facing Murder Charges
What is there even to think when you read a headline like the one above? This is obviously a seed spawned directly from Satan's cock, but how do you charge a kindergartener with murder? What could the punishment possibly be?

Besides, if Killer Casey Anthony can beat a murder wrap for killing her own child, I don't see why real life Regan MacNeil can't for killing someone else's.

Welp, at the end of the day, the only thing we know for sure is that since the 5 year-old is black, so she will undoubtedly be charged as an adult.

4) Pharmacist Sentenced To Life For Killing Robber
I know everyone is busy being outraged at Killer Casey soon being free, but what about the justice for this guy? This man is a hero and he got life...and he's not even black (yes, I'm aware his name is Jerome, but I assure you, he's white)!

If you ask me, he did the world a huge favor by taking that punk out before he went on to do more damage in the world. One would-be robber dead equals one less person robbed or killed by he and his gun-wielding partner. Where is the outrage at the decision for Jerome? Truly sad shit.

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Is This The Same Brianna That Used To Be With Trina?

You read the title already, but is this the same Brianna? If so, gotdamn! Homegirl has really grown the hell up. She's easily the finest Brianna in these streets since Kyla Pratt's character on "One On One" (when she was grown though, not from when the show first started). I remember when Trina used to have her on 99 Jamz and pretty much wherever she went, so if this is her, it's nice to see her branch out on her own. Also, anytime you can put titties on display like that you just gained a fan in Fiyah. (It doesn't hurts than she looks and spits like a young Jacki-O either.)

I wonder if she'd do a video with me and Andy? Or maybe one with Young Real Nigga? I'll get back to y'all on that.

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Tony + Candice: The Movie??

What is this? Is this real? Did "Tony + Candice" really get married back on May 28th, or is this the trailer for a new rom com? It does say "coming soon" at the end. Maybe I need to rewatch it to make sure there were no Kate Hudson sightings.

Now I'm not knocking Tony and Candice for having the wedding all girls and gay men dream of, but hopefully this is as far as it goes. Wedding videos are for you and your family, not for the world. Please, I'm begging you (on the day after Michael Irvin did this to us) PLEASE, don't let this go any further, Tony.

This lockout is the gotdamn devil!

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Did Lil B Just Spit The Worse Verse Of 2011??

Hey Hip-Hop, a can of suck ass has just been opened up on you!

Now don't get me wrong, Lil Wayne didn't exactly set the world on fire with his verse either (though it did get considerably better towards the end), but Lil B may have laid down the wackest verse of the year. The bar can't be lowered any further, the bar is on the damn ground right now just chillin' (or at least I don't think it can go any lowered but we still have 5 and a half months left for Lil B or Soulja Boy to make the bar penetrate the Earth's surface).

The gay community should be embarrassed and ashamed.

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WTF Is Going On With Shawty Lo's Facial Hair?

I was watching this 50 Cent and Shawty Lo interview with Headlkrack of the Rickey Smiley Morning Show and I couldn't stop wondering what the FUCK was going on with Shawty Lo's beard. If you go ahead and skip to the 4:29 mark (where Lo is talking about his album that no one cares about) you can get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah, pause, no homo and all that good stuff, but just look at it, it looks like he drew it on with a Sharpie. That nigga probably got a beard stencil at home in his bathroom right now. Shawty Lo's beard looks like he was planking on a freshly painted bench that hadn't finished drying. Shit looks like it'll melt off his face if it gets too hot. I bet 50 can't get him to go do interviews if it's raining outside because that guyliner beard will come off faster than D4L's career.

Aight that's enough, but seriously Lo, stop playing and go wash that damn Homey D. Clown make-up off your face. You're literally too old for that shit.

Here's the interview in its entirety if you're interested in hearing about the ridiculous $10 million deal 50 gave Lo that will never make him any money.


Is it just me or does 50 Cent say "actual" a lot? I didn't just recognize this, but it was on full display in this interview. Okay, that is all.

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Watch The Throne Tracklisting Revealed

Welp, seeing how we don't have a release date yet, I guess it's a nice constellation prize to have the tracklisting for Watch The Throne...but not really. If you care, here it is:

1. No Church in The Wild (Feat. Frank Ocean)
2. Lift Off (Feat. Beyoncé)
3. Niggas in Paris
4. Otis (Feat. Otis Redding)
5. Gotta Have It
6. New Day
7. Prime Time
8. Who Gon Stop Me
9. Murder to Excellence
10. Welcome to The Jungle
11. Sweet Baby Jesus (Feat. Frank Ocean)
12. Why I Love You (Feat. Mr Hudson)

Bonus


13. Illest Motherfucker Alive
14. H*A*M
15. That’s My Bitch
16. The Joy (Feat. Curtis Mayfield)

Not sure why there's 4 bonus tracks, why not just say they're a part of the album since we've only heard 2 of them? Or at least put the 2 we haven't heard on the main tracklist and leave H*A*M and The Joy for bonus tracks. I don't know, maybe that just makes too much sense? Oh well, it really doesn't matter at the end of the day.

Now the only thing left to be determined is the release date and the real name of track #12 (Billboard.com says it's called Why I Love You, but RapRadar.com says it's called Love You So).

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Raekwon Gives His Top 5 Karate Movies

I'm aware I have a weird sense of humor, but I can't be the only one who finds the passion and animation with which Raekwon talks about karate flicks comical (especially when he was talking about "Ninja Scroll"). I just can't be. I refuse to believe it more than Lil B refuses to believe "I'm Gay" wasn't just an album title for him.

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Wanna Movie Date Me?

Dear women,

Due to the recent departure of my former regular movie date, I am now accepting applications for a new one. Applicants must have a vagina, live in South Florida, be presentable in public, have a sense of humor, have a vagina, bathe regularly, not be annoying, not think they’re funnier than me, be willing to watch whatever movie I want to see, and have a vagina.

If an applicant chooses to carry on a prior relationship, they must forgo any and all urges to tell me stories about it, unless said relationship is with another woman. In that case, sharing is strongly encouraged.

The pay for this position ranges from "Whatever 2 adult movie tickets cost" to "Whatever 3 adult movies tickets cost if you want to bring your girlfriend."

If interested, contact me via Facebook, Twitter, or by whatever contact information you have of mine.

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Why???: Michael Irvin Gets Moist For Out Magazine

As if Cowboys haters needed any more ammunition to use against us when football starts back up, Michael Irvin goes and does this gay ass bullshit. Why Mike, why? And not only is this embarrassing as a Cowboys fan, but also as a son of Fort Lauderdale. This is how our hometown hero does us? Word?

Now I'm all for gay rights and equality and blah blah blah, but seriously, what the fuck? Being on the cover of Out magazine is fine, doing an interview with Out magazine is fine, but this picture is just unacceptable. Shit, you might as well had posed for a gay porno magazine as sensitive as this cover is.

I get it Mike, your brother was gay, but how is posing like every male Lady Gaga fan's fantasy on Out magazine going to help the cause? If anything, it distracts from the point because it brings your own sexuality into question. I mean, how am I not supposed to wonder what you were doing for coke back before you were getting those NFL checks?? Couldn't you just wear a nice little suit and call it a day? There are actual gay men on the cover of this magazine that look less gay than you, Mike.

I'm just so lost and confused right now. I'm gonna need more time to recover from this than Shaq with a toe injury. I'm still holding out hope that this picture was Photoshopped, but I'm aware how slim those chances are.

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