The Other Casey Anthony

Damn, how unfortunate. No, not that this man's name is Casey Anthony (though that clearly sucks too), but that there are people dumb enough to think Killer Casey Anthony is a 40-something year-old black dude from Philly. It's truly sad to know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who actually thought they were making contact with Killer Casey. And besides the fact that she's clearly in a cell block and and not in cyberspace, I just don't get why one would think checking her Facebook would be a top priorities for her these days. Like she's chillin' at home saying "Hmm, everyone in the United States hates me... Oh well, let's see what's poppin' on Facebook." It sad to know people in our society are this fucking stupid. Makes me sad for my daughter.

Anyway, the real travesty in this all is that the black Casey Anthony went all George Forman on us and named 2 of his sons after himself. The harassment doesn't seem all that bad when you look at it that way. Sucks for those boys though, I mean, who gets to be called Junior? Oh Lord, I just thought about something: What if he had them by 2 different women and they're both Casey Anthony Jr. and have never met? If that is the case, then all of the inconvenience he's experiencing is well deserved.

2) Woman Chops Off Her Husband's Dick
And not only did she just his dick off, but she also threw the remains in the garbage disposal. Ladies, there has got to be a better way of telling your man he's wack in bed. This shit was totally uncalled for!

On a serious note though, let this be a lesson to all men: If you see your soon-to-be ex-wife buying rope, sleeping pills and she suddenly decides to cook you dinner, she's about to cut your dick off. It's just science. (Side note: Who knows why he thought it'd be a good idea to eat a dinner prepared by his soon-to-be ex-wife.)

This is a very sad story (especially for the guys who were assigned to fish penis particles out of the garbage disposal), but look on the bright side: The crazy bitch seems to be Asian, so if he was too, his missing penis shouldn't be too noticeable when he starts dating again. You're welcome for the clarity, sir.

3) 5 Year-Old Facing Murder Charges
What is there even to think when you read a headline like the one above? This is obviously a seed spawned directly from Satan's cock, but how do you charge a kindergartener with murder? What could the punishment possibly be?

Besides, if Killer Casey Anthony can beat a murder wrap for killing her own child, I don't see why real life Regan MacNeil can't for killing someone else's.

Welp, at the end of the day, the only thing we know for sure is that since the 5 year-old is black, so she will undoubtedly be charged as an adult.

4) Pharmacist Sentenced To Life For Killing Robber
I know everyone is busy being outraged at Killer Casey soon being free, but what about the justice for this guy? This man is a hero and he got life...and he's not even black (yes, I'm aware his name is Jerome, but I assure you, he's white)!

If you ask me, he did the world a huge favor by taking that punk out before he went on to do more damage in the world. One would-be robber dead equals one less person robbed or killed by he and his gun-wielding partner. Where is the outrage at the decision for Jerome? Truly sad shit.