July 04, 2011

Joey Chestnut Wins Again!

Joey Chestnut
For a 5th consecutive year, my big cousin Joey Chestnut, has won the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest and bring home the mustard belt! He didn't surpass the record 68 hot dogs (which he owns), but he gobbled down 62. Remarkable.

Noticeably missing from this year's event was Takeru Kobayashi (remember last year he at least showed up even though he was too pussy to compete), but Patrick Bertoletti provided more than enough competition to the champ. Despite losing by 9 dogs (he ate 53), Bertoletti hung with Chestnut for majority of the race, falling short at the end [insert played out "LeBron can't finish" joke here]. True Life alum Eater X finished 3rd with 45 dogs eaten.

(Side note: I don't know if he hates his wife or his kids, but ever since Mariah had those babies Nick Cannon refuses to stay home. He's hosting shit, managing shit, doing stand-up shit, BET Awards red carpet shit, and today he was at the Hot Dog Eating Contest...shit!)

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