September 26, 2009

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 3

Panthers at Cowboys
1) Panthers (0-2) @ Cowboys (1-1)
Yeah you damn right a got a game with a 0-2 team at #1, sue me.

Anyway, look for Tony Romo to have an awesome bounce back game this week. After all his worst games he always seems to come back strong the next game. Example: On Christmas Day 2006, the Cowboys played the Eagles and Romo completed just 14 of his 29 passes for a measly 142 yards and 2 picks. The next week, he went 23 for 32 for 321 yards and 2 TDs. Of course they lost both games, but at least it wasn't Romo's fault they lost. It was the last game of the season and they had nothing to play for.

Besides, what's being lost in all this "Romo isn't good enough" talk is that after 3 picks we only lost by 2 on a Giants' field goal as time expired. We'll be fine. Cowboys winners, Panthers losers.

(By the way, how insulting is it that everybody is referring to Carolina's Steve Smith as "the real Steve Smith"?? I mean fuck the Giants, but damn, their Steve Smith is a person too lol.)

2) 49ers (2-0) @ Vikings (2-0)
Here's the only 2-0 vs. 2-0 match-up. The 49ers got to 2-0 by taking out the Cardinals and the Seahawks. The Vikings got to 2-0 by beating the Browns and Lions. I don't know if I'm ready to believe either of these teams are for real yet, but either way we should see one helluva RB battle as Frank Gore and Adrian Peterson go head up in this game.

Thus far, the 49ers run defense has been much more impressive than the Vikings. I don't know if that will hold up against Peterson though. Hell, I'm not even sure it'll matter because the last time A.D. saw the Niners he only rushed for 3 yards on 14 carries and the Vikes still won 27-7. This is a tough one. I'm gonna go with my gut here and say Vikings winners, 49ers losers.

3) Falcons (2-0) @ Patriots (1-1)
News flash! These aren't the 2007 Patriots. Luck gave them their only win of the season and I'm not seeing them getting their 2nd against this Atlanta team. While the 35 and older white male crowd tries to figure out what's wrong with Tom Brady, the Falcons will be busy moving on to 3-0. Falcons winners, Patriots losers.

4) Dolphins (0-2) @ Chargers (1-1)
How bad did that loss against the Colts suck Monday night?? I mean geesh! They were a Ted Ginn Jr. drop away from a huge upset.

Fortunately for them, I have no faith in the Chargers and L.T. is out once again this week and as "not L.T." as L.T. has been lately, their running game missed him last week. Florida teams are 0-for-2009. No more. Dolphins winners, Chargers losers.

5) Colts (2-0) @ Cardinals (1-1)
Fuck the Cardinals! I made my pick of the Jaguars last week based solely on thinking Anquan Boldin and Steve Breast wouldn't play. Instead, the 2 combined for 13 catches for 152 yards.

Now, I can easily make a case for the Colts to win this game anyway, but again, fuck the Cardinals. Colts winners, Cards losers.

6) Titans (0-2) @ Jets (2-0)
The Jets are riding HIGH this week after a win against the Patriots last Sunday. Maybe a bit too high. Perfect opportunity for the Titans to pick up their first win. Actually the Titans have no other choice, its either win this game, or lose your season. Titans winners, Jets losers.

7) Saints (2-0) @ Bills (1-1)
We already know the Saints are gonna win, now its just a matter of how many points the Saints will score. So far in 2009 N.O. is averaging 46.5 points a game. I say they hang at least 40. AT LEAST. Saints winners, Bills losers.

8) Steelers (1-1) @ Bengals (1-1)
The Bengals should be 2-0 right now, no doubt. Had they not lost one of the flukiest plays in NFL history, they'd be sitting at 2-1 after they lose this game instead of 1-2. Sad story. Steelers winners, Bengals losers.

9) Giants (2-0) @ Buccaneers (0-2)
I can't even make a serious case for the Bucs in this game. The Cowboys gashed the Giants for 251 on the ground and the Giants STILL won. Tampa doesn't stand a chance. Giants winners, Bucs losers.

10) Jaguars (0-2) @ Texans (1-1)
I know I went on a bit of a rant against the Cards earlier BUT in actuality, even if Boldin and Breaston didn't play, the Jags still looked bad.

On the contrary, the Texans looked good against the Titans last week. I mean GOOD! If the Jags couldn't stop a banged up Boldin and Breaston, they don't stand a chance against the healthy Andre Johnson. Texans winners, Jags losers.

11) Chiefs (0-2) @ Eagles (1-1)

Again, why won't be the Eagles just rule Donovan McNabb out for the game already?? The guy has a broken rib! He's not coming back to play the garbage Chiefs with a bye week looming. Nobody is fooled. Even the Chiefs. They've been game planning for Kevin Kolb and Michael Vick, not Donovan McNabb. This is equivalent to Eric Mangini waiting until the last possible moment to name a starting QB. Retarded!

Either way, the Chiefs don't stand a chance. If they can score a TD this week that'll be just as good as a win. Eagles winners, Chiefs losers.

(Yeah I know this is insignificant, but its just fuckin' annoying.)

12) Redskins (1-1) @ Lions (0-2)
A lot of man love going around for the Lions this week. With so many people picking the Lions to win this week, I think we should just go ahead and make them the favorites.

The Redskins need a big win in the worst way. If they turn in another performance like they did last week against the Rams, it might be time for them to start making plans for 2010. Redskins winners, Lions losers.

13) Bears (1-1) @ Seahawks (1-1)
I just know everybody in Seattle is super-psyched to get another Seneca Wallace Era under way, right? Well probably not, but... fuck it, I can't make a case for the 'Hawks in this game. Yeah, the Bears got lucky last week, but they get a real win this week. Bears winners, Seahawks losers.

14) Browns (0-2) @ Ravens (2-0)
The tale of 2 seasons. The Ravens are kicking ass and taking name. The Browns are having rookies take a swing at vets over hazing pranks. Welcome to 0-3-land Brownies. Ravens winners, Browns losers.

15) Packers (1-1) @ Rams (0-2)
The Rams hung with the Redskins last week by holding them to only 3 field goals. They'll have a much harder time keeping Aaron Rodgers thrown passes out of the end zone. Packers winners, Rams losers.

16) Broncos (2-0) @ Raiders (1-1)
JaMarcus Russell sucks. I mean I could make fun of his wide child-birthing hips, but he's such a terrible QB I almost feel bad for the guy. No, I do feel bad for the guy, he's plain fuckin' bad. The guy is only completing 33% of his passes. That's awful! As much as I hate to give a game to Josh McDumbass, I can't in good faith go with a team quarterbacked by Off-The-Marcus Russell. Broncos winners, Raiders losers.

Record Last Week: 8-8 (.500)
Overall Record: 31-17 (.645)
So Far This Week: 10-6 (.625)