Fellas pay attention! I pray that none of you have any of these in your repertoire BUT if you do remove them IMMEDIATELY! Oh yeah, I didn't write this, Rosalind Cummings-Yeates did though I know the rebuttals do sound Fiyah-esque lol.
1. “What’s your sign?”As a bonus I decided to add some more wack pick-up lines from a Matt Christenson article that, actually worked! Some of these definitely should have made the list. Instead of counting down Matt give awards out so check it out:
The epitome of cheese, this line, which has been around since the Beatles came to America, ranks as the very worst line in dating history. The fact that it’s still in use says a lot about the decay of our society’s standards and the glaring desperation of some singles.
2. “Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”
Maybe this was funny around 1910 or 1915—back when the telephone was a novel appliance. It does not inspire smiles now, only scared and doomed looks.
3. “You must be a broom because you’re sweeping me off my feet.”
Maybe your dad used this one on your mom and for nostalgia’s sake, you’re bringing it out again. Nostalgia does not get you dates, only pity. “I actually had a guy say this to me during happy hour,” says Kim, a vivacious flight attendant who gets her share of pick-up lines. “I didn’t hold it against him because I don’t know how much he’d had to drink and he was cute. But if he hadn’t been cute, I would have dodged him.”
4. “Do you have a license? Because you’re driving me crazy.”
Caution! Watching too many stupid teen movies impairs your judgment. This probably sounded clever to the person who swiped it from an Annette and Frankie beach party flick.
5. “I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade.”
Generally, comparing potential dates to food or drinks is not a winning move. “I had a guy use this one on me and I rolled my eyes and walked way,” says Susan, a marketing representative who doesn’t usually go for lines. “But a couple of weeks later, I saw this hot guy at the gym and I used that same line and it worked! I guess there are gender preferences when it comes to lines. He was really flattered, where I was insulted when it was used on me.”
6. “Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.”
Maybe angels like this one, but real women don’t.
7. “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
Prayer is something that anyone who uses this tacky line desperately needs.
8. “Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.”
This line is popular with both men and women who think references to Santa are cute and charming, which are qualities that they never possess personally.
9. “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
“A stunning woman I had been staring at used this on me,” says Mark, a tawny-haired, gregarious copywriter. “I know it’s an old one but it took guts to say it. I’m afraid I happily fell for it.”
10. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
A personal favorite, this one takes a certain amount of arrogance, as well as delusion, to pull off.
The Corniest Line Ever Award
“This guy who was so not my style came over to me and my friends and asked: ‘Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?’ We said no and kept walking, and then he said, ‘Well, it’s enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m Brian.’ We all cracked up and kept talking to him.”
– Charity, 29, Cincinnati, OH
The Artistic License Award
“I was shooting pool with friends, and some guys offered us a friendly challenge. Midway through the game, one of them looked at me and said, ‘Do you remember Crayola crayons? Well, they used to have this color called Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color, and your eyes are actually Blizzard Blue.’ I thought it was so cute—he had me right there.”
– Erica, 21, Brunswick, OH
The Balls of Steel Award
“I was at an office party when a guest of a co-worker introduced himself and said, ‘Blueberries or strawberries?’ Confused, I asked what he meant, and he replied, ‘I just want to know what kind of pancakes to make you in the morning.’ He said it with such a straight face that it was like a scene in a funny movie. I didn’t eat breakfast with him, but I did give him my number.”
– Jan, 33, Cleveland, OH
The Dumb and Dumber Award
“This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.’ I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!”
– Holly, 19, Milford, OH
The Mama’s Boy Award
“I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, ‘Would it freak you out if I said that I’ve already told my mother about you?’ I said, ‘No, why?’ Then he told me that he’d actually stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama’s boy.”
– Michelle, 25, Erie, PA
The Oddest Use of a Parking Space Award
“I fought tooth and nail with a guy over a parking space and won. When I came back out to my car, there was a note on it that said, ‘I like your style. Call me.’ It was very unexpected, and I loved the approach. See, it pays to be a lover and a fighter.”
– Lynn, 36, Boston, MA
The Best Brown-Nosing Award
“This poker party I was at started to get very crowded. As a group of girls walked in, this guy came up behind me and said, ‘I think you’re going to be asked to leave soon. You’re so pretty, you’re putting all the other women to shame.’ I tend to be very shy, so his compliment really helped crack my shell.”
– Katie, 31, Chicago, IL
The Let-Me-Count-The-Ways Award
“I first met my current boyfriend at a bar, and after we introduced ourselves, he said, ‘I adore you.’ He then drunkenly went on to catalog why he adored me—from the way I ordered drinks to the way I brushed hair out of my eyes. It was sort of scary that he’d been watching me, but what took it out of stalker mode and made it flattering was his sweetness and sincerity.”
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