October 09, 2009

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 5

Darth Hoody vs. Baby Hoody
1) Patriots (3-1) @ Broncos (4-0)
My hate of Tom Brady and the Pats is well documented. Fortunately for them, I hate the Broncos more right now.

I don't think there's another team in the league that would make me root for the Pats other than the Broncos, not even the 3 in my own division. I HATE the Broncos now! I hated them before last week's game, but now I hate them even more. No real reason, besides them being overrated either. And Jason Whitlock made a good point in his NFL Truths column this week when he pointed out how much better the 4-0 Broncos would be if Josh McDaniels didn't botch the Jay Cutler situation. They might be a Super Bowl contender with Cutler, now their just a nice first quarter story. Yeah I said it, a nice first quarter story, this Sunday is the beginning of a 4 game losing streak. Watch. Pats winners, Broncos losers.

2) Bengals (3-1) @ Ravens (3-1)
Just when everybody was starting to believe in the Bengals, they go out and nearly lose/tie with the Browns. Good teams don't let horrid teams hang around that long.

The Ravens, on the other hand, had a shot last week against the Pats, but on top of some B.S. roughing the passer calls, Mark Clayton dropped 2 crucial passes in the 4th quarter.

The Ravens are angry and the Bengals barely escaped the Browns. Easy one to call. This has now become a difficult one to call. Cincy's defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer's wife passed away the other day and he WILL coach the defense today! You know those guys will be playing the game for Zimmer and its hard to go against things like that, so I'm changing my pick! Bengals winners, Ravens losers. Besides, I wanna see Ocho Cinco do the "Ricky Bobby on fire, help me Oprah!" TD celebration! lol.

3) Falcons (2-1) @ 49ers (3-1)
No Frank Gore, no problem last week for the 49ers. Of course they were playing the Rams, but 35-0 without your best offensive weapon is still quite impressive. I can see the Niners really taking it to the Falcons this Sunday. Yeah, the Falcons are coming off of a bye week, but again, the Niners played the Rams last week, you might as well say they had a bye too. Should be a good game either way, but I'm gonna say 49ers winner, Falcons losers.

4) Cowboys (2-2) @ Chiefs (0-4)
Usually I have the Cowboys game #1, but with that stink job last week in Denver coupled with playing the 0-4 Chiefs, I couldn't even lie and say I was anticipating this game. I mean, its nice that we're gonna get to beat up on a team this week, but I'm still kinda pissed off about last week. Its one thing that we lost, but not being able to see it just made it worse. I tried to watch live streams on the internet, but I would've been better off taking a nap through the game that fooling around with that bullshit. (Ironically enough, my local Fox is gonna be carrying this game Sunday. That's right, they didn't show Cowboys/Broncos last week, but we get Cowboys/Chiefs this week. Awesome.)

As far as on the field issues go, my Cowboys are gonna be limping into this game. Felix Jones and Gerald Sensabaugh are out, Andre Gurode and Flozell Adams are playing hurt, and Roy Williams is doubtful. The good news is that Marion Barber is one week closer to 100% and should be effective against the Chiefs and that Roy Williams might not play. I got my fingers crossed that he can't go. That guy sucks and we'd be MUCH better off with Miles Austin starting.

Okay enough talking, not enough predicting. Cowboys winners, Chiefs losers.

5) Jets (3-1) @ Dolphins (1-3)
Do we know if Braylon Edwards is going to be active for this game yet?? Then again, I don't think it really matters because this game will be won or lost by Rex Ryan and the Jets' defense ability to stop the Dolphins running attack. If the can do it, they'll cruise to victory. If Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams run wild, its gonna be a long week for the Jets with plenty of sports show asking questions like, "is the fairy tale over for the Jets?" And plenty of so-called analysts jumping off the NYJ bandwagon.

I can see that 2nd scenario all too well from here. Dolphins winners, Jets losers.

6) Colts (4-0) @ Titans (0-4)

Titans suspect secondary, meet the league leader in passing yards and touchdowns, one Mr. Peyton Manning. I'd like to see the Titans get a win, but they're giving up 27 points per game and opposing QBs have averaged 303.5 yards and piled up 10 TDs to 3 interceptions. Those kinda numbers + Peyton Manning = 0-5. Colts winners, Titans losers.

7) Steelers (2-2) @ Lions (1-3)
I think this is the highest I've ranked a game involving the Lions. I have to look into it, but I believe so. That just goes to show you how bad these crop of games are this week.

None of that will matter at the end of the day because there's no way the Steelers lose this game. I don't care if the Matthew Stafford does end up playing and Troy Polamalu doesn't, the Steelers still win regardless. Steelers winners, Lions losers.

8) Jaguars (2-2) @ Seahawks (1-3)
All signs are pointing to Matt Hasselbeck playing in this game which is great for the Seahawks seeing they are haven't won since he's been out. The Jaguars are looking awfully good though so this is tough. I should know better than to pick any team this far Southeast going to face a team that far Northwest, but I can't overlook how well the Jags are playing right now. Jaguars winners, Seahawks losers.

9) Texans (2-2) @ Cardinals (1-2)
This is going to be a straight shoot out! The 2 best WRs (Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald) in the NFL will face off and this may be a classic. Don't be surprised if they get 8+ catches and 150+ yards each. Should be fun.

As far as the game itself goes, I think the Texans are just the better team right now so I'm gonna fuck with them. Texans winners, Cardinals losers.

10) Vikings (4-0) @ Rams (0-4)
Makes no sense discussing this, the Rams haven't score enough points this season (24) to hang with the Vikings in this game. Vikings winners, Rams losers.

11) Buccaneers (0-4) @ Eagles (3-0)
Not that the Eagles needed them to win this one, but both Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook will be back for this game. Should be a blow out. Eagles winners, Bucs losers.

12) Redskins (2-2) @ Panthers (0-3)
After losing to the Lions in Week 3, I thought the Redskins would have a much needed bounce back mauling of the winless Buccaneers. Wrong. We're talking about the Redskins here, they had to rally in the 2nd half to squeak out a 16-13 AT HOME!

I think the Panthers, who are coming off a bye, have what it takes to beat the 'Skins. Clinton Portis and Mike Sellers getting into a reported "heated verbal exchange" isn't making me regret this pick either. Panthers winners, Redskins losers.

13) Raiders (1-3) @ Giants (4-0)
Eli returned to practiced today in full participation with the first team offense so its looking like he's gonna play Sunday. It really makes no difference though because even if David Carr makes the start, the Giants are still gonna win. As long as the Raiders roll JaMarcus Russell's out of shaped ass out as their starter, they don't stand a chance. Giants winners, Raiders losers.

14) Browns (0-4) @ Bills (1-3)
The Browns didn't mean Braylon Edwards to nearly beat the Bengals last week so this game might be interesting. I think the Trent Edwards finds a way to get the ball to Lee Evans and T.O. and the Bills take care of business. Bills winners, Browns losers.

Last Week: 10-6 (.625)
Overall Record: 50-26 (.658)
This Week: 9-5 (.643)