October 30, 2009

NFL Winners & Losers: Week 8

Brett Favre is back in Green Bay, get your waffles ready!
1) Vikings (6-1) @ Packers (4-2)
By now you've been blitz to death with "Brett Favre going back to Lambeau" coverage, that's why I made this #1 so we could account for it and move on. If you wanna know anything about this game just turn on ESPN, I'm sure they'll have some random old Brett Favre teammate to tell you all about it. As for me, I'm just gonna make my pick. Packers winners, Vikings losers.

2) Seahawks (2-4) @ Cowboys (4-2)
Usually I spend this time going in depth about the game my Cowboys are about to play, but this week I can sum it all up in a simple mathematical equation:

Fragile quarterback + 4th string left tackle + DeMarcus Ware post $78 million contract = Cowboys winners, Seahawks losers.

3) Giants (5-2) @ Eagles (4-2)
Tough couple of weeks for the Giants huh? Well it turns out things are a bit different when you're not playing teams like the Redskins, Bucs, Chiefs, and Raiders. Who knew?

Anyway, NYG will be looking to bounce back against the team who bounced them from the playoffs last season. Unfortunately for them, their secondary is banged up and the Eagles employ a speedster named DeSean Jackson. I have no doubt in my mind that C.C. Brown will be the goat in this game and DeSean will have over 100 yards receiving. I think that'll be enough for the Eagles to give the G-Men their 3rd straight loss and send the sports media into "what is wrong with the Giants?" frenzy. Eagles winners, Giants losers.

4) Falcons (4-2) @ Saints (6-0)
I would NOT want to be the Falcons this Monday. Their banged up secondary was exposed by Tony Romo and Miles Austin (aka Anti-Roy) and now they have to go play NFL offense numero uno in the Super Dome. I say this game is over by half time. And this picks has nothing to do with my hatred of Atlanta as a producer of Rap music. Saints winners, Falcons losers.

5) Dolphins (2-4) @ Jets (4-3)
Who makes the schedules?? This game just happened like 2 weeks ago and now they're playing again. Too soon.

Anyway, how bad is Ted Ginn Jr.?? I obviously know a lot of Dolphins fans living in South Florida, and all I've been hearing is about how terrible he is. Young Theodore does have some next level butterfingers and I can't argue with that, but I can point out 3 things to my Phins phans:

1) If the Dolphins didn't take Ginn 9th overall in the 2007 draft, they would've taken Brady Quinn. The problem?? Brady Quinn also sucks. Chad Henne right now is better than Quinn has been his entire career. Bottom line, the Dolphins would've taken some scrub from Ohio with that pick either way.

2) At least you didn't give up 3 draft and a huge contract to Ginn like the Cowboys did with Roy Williams. So far Theodore has 18 catches for 211 while Roy has 12 for 230. Again, we spent THREE draft picks on this guy. THREE! The Dolphins wasted 1 pick, we wasted THREE!

I was just telling my uncle Thursday that I'd trade Roy straight up for Ted Ginn right now. No question. Roy sucks and I really just want him off the team lol.

3) You could've had Drew Brees! After the 2005 season, Brees was a free agent and instead of bringing him in, the traded for Daunte Culpepper and the rest is history.

Basically, it ain't that bad (#1 and #2) and if you think it is, its your team's fault (#3) lol. I still like them against the Jets though. Dolphins winners, Jets losers.

6) 49ers (3-3) @ Colts (6-0)
Alex Smith is better than Shaun Hill?? I'm shocked! I guess the 49ers figured figured because Hill looks like a young Dan Marino in the face that he could bring the same production to the field. Well nope, it ain't happened. Don't get me wrong, Alex Smith hasn't had the best NFL career ever, but I've seen Hill play, nothing special. Baby Dan is a game manager and that's about it, so I don't think its a coincidence that in Smith's sole half of football he was 3 yards away from throwing for the same amount Hill threw for in his biggest game this season.

Whatever, it really doesn't matter who's starting for the Niners, they're playing the Colts and their gonna lose. They might even get crushed. We'll see. Colts winners, 49ers losers.

7) Broncos (6-0) @ Ravens (3-3)
How often do 2 teams coming off bye weeks face each other?? I don't have a stat on it, but I'm almost positive its not a very common thing. Both teams will be well prepared so this shit be a good one.

The Broncos all but have the AFC West wrapped up at this point, while this is THE game for the Ravens. At 3-3 this is make or break, and for that reason, I gotta lean towards Flacco and the boys. Ravens winners, Broncos losers.

8) Jaguars (3-3) @ Titans (0-6)
Once upon a time this was a marquee divisional game. Not anymore. The winless Titans will trot Vince Young's inefficient ass out this Sunday as a starter and I predict Kerry Collins will be in back in for the 2nd half. Now, I'm not saying its the wrong move for the Titans, I'm just saying Vince Young sucks. In garbage time against the Colts and Patriots back-ups, he sucked. In the preseason against people who are now probably working at cell phone kiosk in the mall, he sucked. And against the average Jacksonville Jags he will suck. Case closed. Jaguars winners, Titans losers.

9) Texans (4-3) @ Bills (3-4)
Something big happened last week, do you know what it was? The Texans forgetting they were supposed to lose! The perennial "win-loss-win-loss" team put together back to back wins. Can the make it 3 in a row?? I say yes, though Matt Schaub is due for an injury at any second now. Texans winners, Bills losers.

10) Panthers (2-4) @ Cardinals (4-2)
It really says something about the Panthers' confidence in Matt Moore and A.J. Feeley that they keep trotting out Jake Delhomme's dead body week after week. If the Cards feasted on Eli Manning last week, I'd hate to see what they do to poor Corpse Delhomme. Cardinals winners, Panthers losers.

11) Oakland (2-5) @ Chargers (3-3)
I see the Raiders finally wised up and yanked JaMarcus Russell last week. Unfortunately their back-up QB is Bruce Gradkowski. That pretty much sum it all up.

Don't get me wrong, the Chargers suck too, the Raiders just suck more. And more violently. A lot of gag relaxing being exercised out in Oakland these days lol. Chargers winners, Raiders losers.

12) Browns (1-6) @ Bears (3-3)
The Browns sucks. The end. Bears winners, Browns losers.

13) Rams (0-7) @ Lions (1-5)
We should dub this game "And with the first pick in the NFL draft." Like it?? I knew you would.

Anyway, this is going to be a dreadful game, but its undoubtedly the best shot the Rams have at not going 0 for 2009. They do have the Seahawks and Titans still on the schedule, but I think both of those teams are better than the Rams, even as injury-riddled as they are. Rams fans just better keep their fingers crossed that Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson can't go Sunday, but all signs are pointing to them being able to play. If they do, I think the Lions will past the 0-16 torch on to the Rams and watch them carry it to the 1st pick in the 2010 draft. Lions winners, Rams losers.

Last Week: 9-4 (.692)
Overall Record: 76-40 (.650)
This Week:
9-4 (.692)