Random News Shit: NFL Headlines Edition

1) Andy Reid Names Michael Vick Eagles Starter
This move coming 2 days after Reid said Kevin Kolb would be the starter means one thing and one thing only: Reid's job is on the line. If Reid had job security, he would've went with Kevin Kolb and let him work through his issues. But since he needs to win now to keep his job, he can't afford to keep a player as talented as Mike Vick on the bench. That's just what it is.

That was my objective view as a football fan, here's how I really feel as a Cowboy fan: This blows!

Obviously Vick gives the Eagles the best chance to win, and with the Cowboys already 0-2, it makes our road to the playoffs even tougher. And on top of that, I want to see Mike Vick do well, and that's really why this blows. I mean, what the fuck?? I can't root for Philly, I'm a Dallas fan, but I do want Vick to succeed. I'm not torn in my allegiance, I'm 100% Cowboy, but this just sucks. Fuck!

*Readies pro Kevin Kolb chants for Sunday*

2) Braylon Edwards Arrested For DWI
What an idiot! I know it's been said 1,000 times already today, but Braylon, you live in New York GET A FUCKIN' CAB!

(Side note: If Madden really wants to get realistic, on Madden 12 they should delete that wack ass swagger rating and insert a character rating and suspensions. Guys with low character ratings end up with random suspensions (DWI, found with gun, club fight, domestic violence, and of course rape). Oh, and anybody could get suspended for taking performance enhancing drugs. That would be AWESOME! It gets no realer than that. Get on that EA.)

3) Reggie Bush Breaks A Leg
Man, 2010 sucks for Reggie Bush. Oh well, all I wanna know is why couldn't he have broke his leg a little closer to Thanksgiving?? I'm just saying.

4) Brandon Jacobs Fined For Helmet Toss
How many cameras are there in football stadiums these days?? Well how was this alleged helmet toss not caught by any of them?? You'd think the NFL would at least want to see what exactly happened before they issued a fine, but I guess not.

5) Redskins Cut Larry Johnson
The Redskins couldn't get any use out of Larry Johnson?? I'm shocked!

(Side note: I wonder when was the last time he talked to Jay-Z?? He was on the Roc for less time than Teairra Mari.)

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Random News Shit: Sports Recap 12/4-12/9

Okay, I've obviously been M.I.A. with my keyboard issues (not semen related issues either lol) so I'm gonna try something new in my recap of the big sports stories over the past 2 weeks. Lets give it a go:

December 4th

Nets Get Past Bobcats For First Win
Final score 97-91 as the Nets get 31 and 14 from Brook Lopez and 27 from Courtney Lee. Too bad this couldn't have happened prior to them setting the record for most losses to begin an NBA season. The good news is they now have 2 victories to hang their hat on and need just 8 more to not be dreadful 72-73 76ers. Only 56 more tries to go, good luck gentlemen.

December 5th

Pacquiao Signs Contract To Fight Mayweather, Agrees To 50-50 Split
Its all going down March 13th and I can't wait! I'm not even that into boxing, but this its obviously a match-up I'd pay to see. As of right now I have NO idea who would win. I recently watched the Mayweather-Hatton and saw a lot of areas Pacman could really exploit (not to mention it took him 2 rounds to do to Ricky Hatton what it took Mayweather 10). Then again, Pretty Boy Floyd is undefeated for a reason.

Its just gonna be a great event and I won't be surprised by the victor no matter the outcome.

(Side note: Cowboys Stadium WILL NOT host the fight, though owner Jerry Jones is still interested.)

Greg Oden Done For The Season Again
At this point its just sad. The guy didn't even get touched this time. Maybe a career in the NBA wasn't mean for him?? Whatever the case, the Blazers need to cut their losses now and let him go. Yeah, he's a pretty decent player, but you can't count on him to be around.

If the Blazers do release him (which they won't), Oden's best shot at actually have a career is going to Phoenix. I don't know what they do down there in the desert, but it clearly works. Grant Hill couldn't stay on the court for like 7 or 8 straight season, he goes down to Phoenix and plays all 82 games for the first time in his career last year. Shaq looked done down in Miami before going to Phoenix, and now he looks like he did in Miami up in Cleveland. Greg needs to get his ass in a Suns uniform if he plans on continuing a career in the NBA.

December 7th

Notre Dame's Jimmy Clausen Enter NFL Draft
I'm not sure what his draft prospects are at this point, but he'll probably be a first rounder with all the teams out there in need of a QB.

Also entering the draft from Notre Dame is WR Golden Tate, whose name said at the right speed sounds a lot like "golden taint." Probably not the best thing heading into the possibility of rookie hazing. And don't ask why I brought that up, I have no answers for you lol.

December 8th

Plaxico Burress Bid For Work Release Unlikely To Be Granted
Mna, I still feel so bad for Plax. Whenever I think about him, I think about my cousin and all the others in prison over foolishness. My uncle was just on work release and its not so bad, obviously anything is better than being in prison. Hopefully Plax can get on it soon.

Clinton Portis Places On IR
That's too bad for Clint, I sure wish he was suiting up this Monday to play the Giants because I sure need the Redskins to pull off that upset. I hope this isn't the end for him, he's still 28 so he should still have 2-3 years left in him, but these head injuries are just touchy. Best wishes to that man.

Ocho Cinco Fined $30,000 For Sombrero TD Celebration
I might shock some here, but I don't totally disagree with this fine. Hear me out: 1) it was pretty wack/lame/boring and 2) it was mildly racist. Look, I'm one of the least offendable (don't worry, I know its not a word lol) people in the world, but I could see how somebody could take this the wrong way.

(Side note: I had a decent joke about white NFL players and black face, but I'll keep it to myself for now lol.)

December 9th

Eagles Give Andy Reid 3-Year Extension
We still don't know exactly how much this deal is worth, but Reid will reportedly be making around $5-6 million a year. Good for him.

Yankees, Pettitte Agree To 1-Year $11.75 Million Deal
Good for him, good for the Yankees, but this next story is a MUCH bigger splash.

Yankees Steal Curtis Granderson In Trade
It was three-team deal, but the Yanks came out with the big prize in Granderson. Despite his batting average dropping each of the past 2 seasons, Granderson hit 30 homers last year and made his first All-Star team. I say good move!

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Eagles Sign Vick To 2-Year Contract

Nooo! Dammit, dammit, fuck, fuck! Of all the teams, why did it have to be the freakin' Eagles?? Then again, I take that back because I would've been just as pissed if he signed with the Giants or Redskins (and after what the 'Skins displayed in their preseason game tonight, they might need him more).

Anyway, its a 2-year deal, the first worth $1.6 million and an option for the second year at $5.2 million. That's pretty good money to sit on the bench and watch Donovan McNabb play. Damn, the Eagles are gonna scary good this year! I'm so pissed right! Damn, damn, damn!!!

SOURCE

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