STFU Award: Kelly Dwyer & The Asian American Journalists Association

On Sunday, Jason Whitlock was forced to apologize for the following hilarious joke he tweeted Friday night after Jeremy Lin's 38 point explosion.

A major contributing factor in this "decision" was pressure from the Asian American Journalists Association, who called for an apology Saturday.

On Monday, Yahoo! Sports doucher writer Kelly Dwyer ripped Whitlock and deemed the tweet unfunny.

Sigh. Here we go again.

First off, can we please stop with this oversensitive bullshit already? It's so fucking pathetic that a grown damn man can't make an attempt at humor on Twitter without dickholes like the AAJA and Kelly Dwyer jumping down his throat.

Fuck it, I'm not even going to waste my time roasting these idiots for getting up-in-arms over a fucking tweet, I'm just going to say, PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

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Fab Five Backlash: The Common Sense Fail

"For me, Duke was personal. I hated Duke, and I hated everything I felt Duke stood for. Schools like Duke didn't recruit players like me. I felt like they only recruited black players that were Uncle Toms.

I was jealous of Grant Hill, he came from a great black family. Congratulations. Your mom went to college, and was roommates with Hillary Clinton. Your dad played in the NFL [and was] a very well spoken and successful man. I was upset and bitter that my mom had to bust her hump for 20-plus years. I was bitter that I had a professional athlete that was my father, that I didn't know. I resented that, more so than I resented him. I looked at it as, 'they are who the world accepts, and we are who the world hates.'"

What you see above is a word-for-word transcript of Jalen Rose talking about Duke in ESPN's "Fab Five" documentary. I thought it was important to post it both in video and print form to further illustrate how stupid it is we're having a national discussion demonizing Rose for emotions he felt as a teenager. Somehow fools like Jason Reid and (especially) Jason "Uncle Ruckus" Whitlock have deleted all of those words, enhanced "Uncle Tom" to font size 72, made it bold, and focused an attack on Rose with it. After that, Grant Hill decided to chime in with a response column for The New York Times to show off his awesome Duke education (which clearly didn't include any courses on common sense or attention to detail). I have one word to describe all of their efforts: BULLSHIT!

Now, before I individually detail why everyone anti-Jalen Rose is full of shit, I wanted to take a minute to discuss what was actually said and what it actually meant.

Documentary: Noun, a movie or TV program presenting facts and information, especially about a political, historical, or social issue.

"The Fab Five" was a movie/TV program that presented facts and information. Its purpose is to give us a more in-depth look into an event or time in history by having the people involved tell their story. Not my story, not your story, but their story. Now, with that being said, can someone please give me a common sense reason why I should be enraged at Jalen Rose, a 38 year-old man, for sharing how he felt as a 17 or 18 year-old kid... in a documentary? In 2008, I FELT like shooting someone after I heard my cousin was imprisoned on some BS. Today I FELT like calling my supervisor a cunt. Guess what though? I didn't shoot anyone and my supervisor is still an unknowing cunt. If there's a documentary on my life in 20 years, will I be seen as a currently angry, supervisor hater because I expressed how I felt at the time? My guess is no.

Oh yeah, and while you're trying to find that common sense reason I should be mad at Rose, I'll also be needing someone to point out the part in the documentary where he calls black Duke basketball players Uncle Toms. I saw/heard/read the part when he said he FELT like they were Uncle Toms, but I must've missed the part where he actually said "Black Duke basketball players are Uncle Toms." Damn snack breaks.

In the meantime, lets discuss the three stooges of this made up controversy.

First up is Jason Reid. Reid's angle is that Rose still feels like black Duke basketball players are Uncle Toms, despite the fact he said he didn't. Wait a minute, I thought the problem was that he called black Duke ballers Uncle Toms (even though he didn't)? Now the issue is that you THINK he feels a certain way he shouldn't, despite him never saying he did? Really, that's the angle you're going with? ...........Really?

On to the personification of Uncle Ruckus, aka Jason Whitlock. If there's a way to make black athletes look bad, especially if they're involved with ESPN in anyway way, shape, or form, this guy is all over it. I guess the whole working for Rupert Murdoch thing is finally starting to kick in. Anyway, Whitlock's angle is that he hates ESPN, thinks the Fab Five was overrated, and they're legacy and cultural impact should be overlooked because they didn't win a national championship. Also, he thinks the documentary never should've been made, nor should Jalen Rose have been allowed the opportunity to produce it. In the pile of bull excrement Whitlock called a column, he agreed that Duke only recruits a certain type of player. Isn't that pretty much what Rose, who he's attacking, said on this clip from 1&10 Uncle Whitlock attempted to mock on Twitter?

In all honesty, I don't even think Whitlock knows why he's mad. He's just a confused Uncle Ruckus looking for a new way to "shat" on the World Wide Leader for firing him. I mean, damn, if anybody should be able to relate to Rose feeling bitter and anger towards something/someone, shouldn't it be Uncle Whitlock? Seventeen year-old Jalen Rose's feelings towards Duke = 43 year-old Jason Whitlock's feelings toward ESPN. I'm finding it harder and harder to take him seriously by the column.

Last up is Grant Hill. I've been a fan of Hill's for a LONG time (the GH4's were my first basketball player's sneakers and I literally wore them out), but his NYT column was some biggity bullshit. Regardless, the consensus opinion is approval for the well-written piece. Am I the only one who actually read it? I must be, because I refuse to believe I'm the only person with enough common sense to recognize Hill went on a misguided jag against Rose.

The column read like he didn't even see the documentary and was responding to a friend's account of what was said. In the second paragraph Hill loss me. He said Rose pathetically called all black Dukies Uncle Toms and disparaged his parents. Really Grant, that's what he said? I heard that he was jealous of you and bitter he couldn't have your life, but definitely didn't hear him, or any of the other Fab Fivers interviewed, call anyone an Uncle Tom or disparage your parents for their achievements. (Side note: I'm still waiting to be shown the part in "The Fab Five" where Rose calls all black player at Duke Uncle Toms.)

If, for whatever reason, Hill didn't completely understand what Rose and the Fab Five were trying to convey, why not just contact them and ask for clarification instead of making the equivalent of a Hip-Hop diss record? You mean to tell me there was no better solution for Hill's issues than to take to the laptop and write that misguided column? I refuse to believe that as well.

And as far as being called a "bitch and worse," if anybody should be angry about what was said, it should be Christian Laettner. Rose essentially kissed Hill's ass and tickled his ball, especially when compared to his and the Fab Five's feelings towards Laettner. Rose said he was jealous of you and that you came from a great black family, boo-fucking-hoo. Laettner was called an overrated soft pussy bitch (sorry for the lack of commas, but it sounds better as a singular insult, almost like something you'd hear on a voice mail left by Mel Gibson)! His response to it: "[It was] kind of funny."

If Laettner can take it in the spirit in which it was meant, why couldn't Hill? Again, this was all how they FELT as teenagers. Let's all hope the ways we FELT as teens don't get overexposed and taken out of context across the nation.

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Jason Whitlock Podcast Coming Feb. 16th

Click on the picture above, or click here to hear the audio promo.

"Real Talk With Jason Whitlock" kicks off Wednesday February 16th, and will run on FoxSports.com every Wednesday thereafter. Let's just hope Whitlock gets off the script and doesn't sound as monotone as he did on that promo on his podcast. I mean, my God, that was awful lol. If I didn't already know and respect Whitlock, there's no way I'd check his pod out after that stale ass shit. He sounded like he was imitation of me in my Hip-Hop Czar campaign commercial in Fuck Lil Wayne 3. You're in L.A. now J-Dubb, loosen up baby.

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A Drunken Jerry Disses Parcells, Tebow (Kinda)

These cell phone camera are a bitch, ain't they?? lol. Unfortunately these losers probably fucked it up for anybody who wants to hold a real conversation with Jerry out in public, thanks guys. Either way, Jerry did nor said anything wrong. 1) Obviously he wasn't trying to disrespect Parcells and 2) Tebow really wouldn't see the field as a Cowboy, Romo is the man.

Anyway, check out this incredible column by Jason Witlock on the subject.

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Random News Shit: Tiger Woods Edition

Before I tackle these stories, I want to tell everybody to read Jason Whitlock's column on Tiger Woods. I read it last week and I must say, it is an exceptional piece of work, or as some would say, the truth!

1) Tiger Woods Voted AP Athlete Of The Decade
And you know what?? Its not even really close. Tiger dominated his sport for the entire decade. To me, Roger Federer would be #2 over Lance Armstrong because Lance didn't even compete for the entirety of the decade. Well anyway, congrats to Tiger.

2) Doctor Arrested For PEDs Linked To Tiger Woods
Okay, lets stop it! This is complete bullshit and everybody knows it. They know good and damn well Tiger was not juicing and this "link" is faulty at best. Tommy Craggs of Deadspin really breaks in down in this column, you should really check it out.

Besides that, what would be the benefit of Tiger taking PEDs?? The man plays golf, golf is a really a game of putting, and putting is a skill, not something you can develop chemically. The media is just trying to pile on Tiger at this point.

3) Nike, Tag Heuer continue sponsorship with Tiger Woods
And really, why wouldn't they?? Tiger will be fine and if they drop him now, they'll just be running to pick him back up as soon as he wins his next major. Tiger didn't commit a crime and he isn't a political figure running on a platform of family values, he'll be fine.

4) Elin Allegedly Divorcing Tiger
People can make jokes about Tiger being dumb for doing what he did, but he was smart enough to get Elin to sign a prenup. She's still gonna get some money, but she sure as hell ain't getting half lol.

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