Miguel Cabrera Wins First Triple Crown Since 1967

I'm not going to pretend like I'm a huge baseball fan, but I would be remiss to not acknowledge what Miguel Cabrera did last night. Last night, Cabrera became the first person since 1967, and 10th person ever (the Triple Crown has been won 12 times, Ted Williams and Rogers Hornsby won it twice), to win the Triple Crown, finishing with 44 homeruns, 139 runs batted in, and a .330 batting average. Good thing the Marlins didn't keep him around.

Last thing, if you don't think Miguel Cabrera should win MVP over Mike Trot after winning the first Triple Crown in 45 years, please go drink bleach.

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Ozzie Guillen Apologizes, Suspended 5 Games

Usually, I would say they're just words and it's no big deal, but Ozzie Guillen's comment on Fidel Castro were idiotic for the simple fact that the team he manages just built a new stadium in Little Havana and are depending on Cubans to fill it up. I'm not going to get into black comparisons to this, but you just can't do what Ozzie did. Not here.

Now, do I think Guillen should be fired? No. At the end of the day, we still live in America, not Cuba, and we can say whatever the hell we want, no matter how stupid. But I definitely agree with the suspension just for the fact that he pissed off his team's target for its core fan base. Unacceptable.

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Chicago vs. Chicago: Round 1

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Prince Fielder Signs 9-Yr/$214M Deal To Join Tigers

I'm not sure why this took so long to happen, but good Lord that's a lot of fucking money. I still don't see hy these hoes keep targeting basketball and football players, baseball is where its at. Somewhere right now T.O. and Travis Henry's many baby mommas are nodding agreeingly.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this picture of young Prince Fielder rocking Zubaz from the S.I. Vault.

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Albert Pujols Signs With The Angels

Albert Pujols has decided to leave the only MLB team he's ever known, the St. Louis Cardinals, for the Angels of Los Angeles...of Anaheim. The mega deal is for 10 years and worth a whooping $250 million, which comes one day after turning down the Miami Marlins' offer.

You know what? I'm actually glad Albert turned down the Marlins' offer because I hardly expect him to be worth that kind of money over the next 10 years when he's already "31" now. Miami should be out trying to get Prince Fielder, and should've been doing that from the jump. Apparently, they don't agree with me, but that is the logic move to make if you ask me.

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Miami Marlins Snag Jose Reyes

The Miami Marlins are clearly trying to shed their representation as cheap as they give free agent shortstop Jose Reyes a 6-year deal worth at least $111 million. The Mets lose again.

Now, I'm definitely not mad at the Marlins for making a splash by bringing in Reyes, but you've got to wonder what this means for the All-Star shortstop already on their roster--Hanley Ramirez? They obviously aren't going to get rid of him, so what's the plan? Are they going to move him to third base like the Yankees did with A-Rod when faced with this same predicament? If so, will Hanley agree to the move? Back in November, when asked about the possibility of changing positions, he said, "I'm a shortstop right now, so I don't know. I consider myself a shortstop." That doesn't exactly sound like he's thrilled with the idea.

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It's Official, These Are Your Miami Marlins Uniforms

We speculated about it, and now it's official, these your Miami Marlins uniforms for the immediate future. Sadly, these remind me of those godawful throwbacks the Heat tried to pull off in the Shaq era. They didn't last long and hopefully these don't either.

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Miami Marlins Uniforms

I don't know if you guys were aware of this, but the Florida Marlins are finito. Yep, Miami finally built them a new stadium, so they're changing their name to the Miami Marlins this upcoming season. With the new name will come a new logo and uniforms, so what you see above is the new Miami Marlins fitted you're sure to see nobody wearing this Spring.

If you're interested in seeing the rest of the uniforms, they can be seen after the jump.

These new logos and uniforms are bursting with so much fruity boy swag, I don't know why they didn't just change the team's name to the Miami Metrosexuals.

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Derek Jeter Gets His 3,000th Hit

If I told you Derek Jeter was going to get the 2 hits he needed to reach 3,000 today, you wouldn't have believed me. If I told you he was gonna go 5 for 5 for the day and his 3,000th hit was going to be a homerun, you probably would've had me committed to a mental asylum.

I still can't believe it actually. Hell, I even bet against it happening on ESPN's Streak For The cash today. But man, that's how you fucking make history! Congrats to Derek and the hot model-type chick he'll be on top of later tonight. Oh, and congrats to Minka Kelly too.

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Random News Shit: Sports Injury Edition

1) Andrew Bynum Hyperextends Right Knee; Postseason Status Uncertain
And in other news, there is unrest in the Middle East, its hot in Florida, and Lil B isn't good at making music.

The Lakers had to see this coming, right? Bynum played in like 10 straight games, he was due an knee injury at some point. What's the difference between it happening last night and it happening tonight in Sacramento or Saturday in their first playoff game? We're talking about Andrew Bynum here, it was just a matter of time.

I'll tell you what though, its a good thing the Lakers didn't make that Bynum-Carmelo Anthony trade. I mean, what would they do with Melo's 26 points a night when they have so many "Andrew Bynum hurt his knee" headlines left unused? My point exactly.

**UPDATE**
It's just a bone bruise and Bynum should be fine for the playoffs...until he's hurt again.

2) Josh Hamilton Break Arm; Out 6-8 Weeks
Well at least he isn't out for rehab.

3) Joakim Noah Re-Sprains Ankle; Ronnie Brewer Sprains Thumb
These injuries should be no big deal. They'll both probably sit in tonight's season finale and be ready to blow Indiana away this week. And even if they aren't, its just Indiana, I think they'll be okay.

4) Steve Blake Has Chicken Pox; Matt Barnes Out With A Knee Injury
Just in case you were wondering, Steve Blake is a man of 31 years of age. Welp, break out the calamine lotion because there are other Lakers who have never had Chicken Pox (including Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest) before and we know they are very contagious. Shit is all fucked up in Lakerland.

5) Michael Redd Says He Can Still Play
Speaking of 31 year-olds, Michael Redd says he still has something left after Andrew Bynum-like knee issues. Hey, bring him on down to Miami, we can definitely use him next year.

6) Andrew Bogut Has Elbow Surgery
Unlike Redd, I know the Bucks aren't letting him go, but he'd also be a welcomed addition to Miami's roster next season. Well, if there's a next season.

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Manny Ramirez Retires

Looks like Manny is done being Manny. When news first broke that Manny was retiring I was shocked, but shortly thereafter news broke that he had been notified by the MLB that he tested positive for PEDs again and would have to serve a 100-game suspension. Then it all made sense.

It's sad to see him go out disgrace, but he brought this all on himself. How arrogant do you have to be to think you can get away with taking performance enhancing drugs twice?? And during the Barry Bonds trial no less. I used to like Manny, but now he's a disgrace to the game and will NEVER get into the Hall of Fame. Sad.

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Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) And Cliff Lee Chooses....the Phillies!
A free agent spurns New York, and all other suitors, who offered more money, so he could do what he wanted to do. Hmm, where have I heard this story before??

All I have to say about this Cliff Lee signing is that Roger Clemens wouldn't have wanted to play with Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels, he would've wanted to beat them.

...Wait!

2) Favre's Consecutive Games Streak Ends At 297
I still can't believe the NFL didn't have the Detroit Lions' stadium roof collapsed so Brett could've had a shot to keep his consecutive games streak alive. That really makes me, and a bunch of others, wonder if Brett is actually secretly suspended by the NFL on some "Michael Jordan decides to go play baseball" shit. The Jenn Sterger investigation has ended, and Jenny's people have said they wanted him suspended, so maybe this is the NFL way of protecting one of their legends??

I don't know, he could just be really hurt, but it's always more fun to speculate. It'll be telling if Brett sits out the last 3 games as well (though he doesn't really have any reason to play on now).

3) The Dallas Mavs' Win Streak Ends At 12
The Milwaukee Bucks put in work last night, and came from 20 points down to end the Mavs' streak. Brandon Jennings had 23 and 11, while Andrew Bogut put up 21 and 14 on 10-12 shooting from the field.

Damn, I was hoping the Heat got a chance to end it in Miami on December 20th.

4) Jets Coach Suspended For Tripping Dolphins Player
Rightfully so. It was wrong what he did, but at the end of the day, the Dolphins player was fine, so let the guy keep his job. Its not like he ran onto the field and tripped the guy.

5) Tashard Choice Gets Mike Vick's Autograph After Game
Why was this even a story?? He got one of his idol's autograph, so the fuck what! Tashard should be more concerned with the loss?? Why?? It's not like the game meant anything. The sports media might not realize this because of how good the Cowboys are playing, but we've been out of the playoff race for weeks now. Let the guy get his autograph, and leave him alone. It's not that serious.

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Random News Shit: Sports Recap Edition

Obviously I missed a bunch of shit over the week, so accept this as a peace offering. OK? OK.

Vikings Waive Randy Moss
Which has a better chance of happening: Brad Childress keeping his job or Kat Stacks getting saved??

I know it's a stretch, but personally, I'm gonna have to go with the latter. At the least there's a 0.1 percent chance Kat Stacks gets saved. There's negative chance Childress keeps his job. Chilly couldn't be any more out if was Brett Favre's dick with a camera phone within arms-length. I mean, yeah, Randy Moss is a certified head case, but there's NO reasonable explanation for cutting someone you traded a 3rd round draft pick for after a month. One month! Four games!

And then that bullshit explanation about Moss berating a cater and his food, what was that?? Mike Shanahan came up with a better excuse than that for benching Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman (but we'll get into that shortly). Moss would have to literally ass rape the caterer on my office desk while I was on the phone with my momma for me to even THINK about cutting him. At the very least Chilly should have called up Dollar Bill Sellatrick and said, "OK, we fucked up. Keep the 3rd-rounder, give us a 5th, and you can have Randy back." Whatever you do, you can't just cut Randy Moss after 4 games.

Dollar Bill wins again.

Mike Shanahan Says Donovan McNabb Not In Shape For 2-minute Drill
I hope Mike Shanahan at least sent Brad Childress a gift basket for deflecting attention away for this godawful excuse for an excuse. He wasn't in shape?? Really?? So he played 7 complete games before this, including 2 overtime periods, without a problem, but he wasn't in good enough shape to run the 2-minute drill??

And it's not like the Redskins have been blowing people out and Donovan hasn't had to do much in 4th quarters, 6 of their first 7 games were decided by 6 points or less, including 4 by 3. He managed all that, but the 2-minute drill was too much to ask on that day?? Give me a fuckin' break.

Then, to make matters worse, you replace McNabb with the "Opposite Team Touchdown Machine" Rex Grossman?? That's like replacing Josh Freeman with Morgan Freeman.

Would anyone had blamed Donovan for Randy Moss-style berating Mike Shanahan in Washington's locker room?? I don't think so.

JaMarcus Russell works out for Washington Redskins
The only thing potentially more outrageous than replacing Donovan McNabb with Rex Grossman would be replacing JaMarcus Russell for anyone on an NFL roster. Why would the team who deemed McNabb too out of shape to finish a game and wouldn't let Albert Haynesworth practice until he passed a conditioning test even consider working out JaMarcus Russell?? Makes no sense.

Charlie Villanueva Says Kevin Garnett Called Him A 'Cancer Patient'
KG isn't the only one with a message for Charlie V, here's mine: Hey Charlie, stop being a fuckin' bitch.

Seriously though, if he was so pissed about allegedly being called a cancer patient, why didn't he handle it on the court instead of going home and tweeting about it like a loser?? It's easy to talk tough via Twitter, back that shit or shut that shit up. I mean, what's the worse that would happen, he'd be fined and suspended?? He robbed the Pistons for $40 million, I think he should be able to afford it.

Giants Dump Series MVP Renteria
Yeah, because dumping your World Series MVP days after winning worked out so well for the Yankees too.

Grizzlies Sign Mike Conley To $40 Extension
David Stern is a doucher and all, but he's right about NBA salaries needing to come down. I'm not saying Mike Conley isn't good (he would've been a better #1 pick than fuckin' Greg Oden), this seems like a whole lot for the 4th or 5th best player on the team.

Atlanta Hawks, Al Horford Agree To $60M Contract Extension
Nice investment into the future, but $60 million does seem like a lot. He is still only 24 though, so I guess this is fair.

Buffalo Bills Claim Shawne Merriman On Waivers
I don't think it's ever a good thing for a player when the first team in waiver claim order claims you. Oh well, Shawne just isn't good anymore, and he's more injury prone than Kris Jenkins. I give him 3, or 4 years tops before he's out of the league completely.

(Side note: I hope he turns his career around, but I'm just not sure he will.)

Tennessee Titans Claim Randy Moss On Waivers
Oh, and finally, speaking of waivers, the Titans picked up some waived wide receiver. His name is Randy Moss, I don't know, have you heard of him??

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Baseball Season Is Finally Over!

The San Francisco Giants defeated the Teaxs Rangers to win their first World Series in blah, blah, blah. The important thing is that baseball is over and now NFL and NBA get to reign without ESPN acting like people still care about baseball. Besides, it'll be back before you know it, so lets celebrate its ending while we can.

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Giants Join Rangers In World Series

The 2010 World Series is set and it's gonna be the Texas Rangers vs. the San Francisco Giants. Just like everyone predicted when the playoffs started. Whatever, I'm just happy baseball is nearing it's end. Next year they should work on finishing up before the NBA season starts.

Now for our first ever "thank goodness there's no penis in this picture" featuring Juan Uribe. Enjoy.

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Rangers Finish Off Yankees, Earn First World Series Berth

Not like America really cares, but the Texas Rangers knocked off the defending champion Yankees to make their first World Series in franchise history. I say Ron Washington deserves at least one line for that fact alone.

Welp, I can't wait for this riveting Rangers-Giants World Series! If Yankees-Rangers couldn't beat out Titans-Jaguars Monday night (with 2 back-up QBs playing), who knows how the World Series nobody not in San Francisco or Texas wants to see will do. Either way, I'm happy this baseball shit is almost over.

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Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) Roethlisberger Has Suspension Reduced To 4 Games
This is no surprise, everybody expected this to be the decision that came down since we found out Ben was gonna meet with Roger Goodell today.

Big Ben's returns will come October 17th against the lowly Cleveland Browns, so that should be a nice welcome back victory. For Steelers fans, hopefully they'll be 2-2 by the time he's back, but with the Falcons, Titans, and Ravens on the schedule, there's a strong possibility they'll be 1-3. Especially now that we know Byron Leftwich is gonna be out for at least the first game with a MCL sprain and the Steelers will be forced to rely on either Dennis Dixon or Charlie Batch.

2) Manny Ramirez To Cut Hair Today
Also happening today, Manny Ramirez is expected to cut his hair. Chicago is allegedly flying in Manny's barber from Boston to do the job, but I'll believe it when I see it.

3) Agent Wants Crayton Released From Cowboys
As a Cowboy fan, this whole Patrick Crayton situation pisses me the fuck off. Forget Crayton's agent asking for a release again, the fact that the Cowboys would even consider letting him go when we have to cut our rosters down to 53 players tomorrow is what bothers me. Yeah he's a trusted veteran and all that jazz, but besides that, who's to say Dez Bryant and Miles Austin are going to be healthy for 16 games?? What if one gets hurt?? What if both get hurt?? I'm sold that Dez and Miles are great players, but I'm not sold on their durability. I know Miles stayed healthy in 2009, but before that break out season, he was known to be injury prone. Hell, he was even hurt for a good portion of training camp. And in addition to my concerns with Dez and Miles, Roy Williams' big garbage ass is hurt right now too.

Look, I could go on and on, but the bottom line is this: on top of it being fucked up to keep PC for camp and then dump him at the end, we need this guy on our team! We'll see what happens tomorrow when cuts are made.

4) LenDale White Out For The Season
Tough off season for LenDale, first he's traded by the Titans, then cut by his former college coach, and now he'll miss the entire 2010 season with a torn Achilles tendon. To be fair though, this injury could be due to his falling out of grace with God after his contribution to Tim Tebow's friar haircut. Just putting it out there.

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Random News Shit: Urban SportsCenter Edition

1) Carmelo Anthony Offers 5 Stacks For A Kat Stacks Slap
I'll be honest, I didn't really give a shit about this story. If I had, I would've wrote about it Sunday. Even though I never believe anyone when they say their Twitter got hacked after they post come wild shit, I didn't think it was a big deal because it was just a random tweet...then I found out he actually TwitPic'd the $5,000!

What the fuck dude, how idiotic can you be?? I know you're unhappy about still being in Denver when your boys from the '03 draft took their talents to South Beach, but c'mon son! Melo, you're too big for this shit. If you didn't do nothing with Kat Stacks, just ignore the bitch. Done and done. Idiot.

2) Manny Ramirez Set To Join White Sox
Well good for Manny. Thank goodness I didn't drop dollars on that Dodgers jersey back in 2008.

Oh, and Manny definitely is NOT cutting his hair, sorry White Sox.

3) Chris Bosh Gets Engaged
Uhhh, aight then. You sure you wanna do this Chris, you know you're gonna be in Miami for at least the next 5 years, right?? Aight then playa, more power to ya. I guess we'll see you on season 5 of "Basketball Wives."

4) Troy Polamalu's Hair Insured For $1M By Head and Shoulders
Wow. That's it, just wow. All them niggas in the league with dreads must be pissed. I wonder how much Head and Shoulders will insure Tom Brady's golden locks for if he agrees to not cut his hair either?? You know their thinking about it.

5) Shaun Rogers Fined For Gun Charge
The fine was $300,000, but that worked out awesome because he's 1) not gonna see any jailtime and 2) isn't going to be suspended by the NFL. Good deal.

6) Ocho Cinco Fined 25K For Tweeting During Game
I forgot to talk about this last week, but how retarded and petty is this shit?? Seriously, $25,000 for tweeting during a preseason game that he wasn't even in anymore?? Should he have been tweeting during the game?? No, but exactly is the harm done by this, and is it $25,000 worth of harm?? Hell no! Stop being petty, NFL.

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Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) A-Rod Finally Blasts 600th Career Homer
I don't care what anybody says, this is quite monumental. Yeah, he's an admitted steroid users, but fuck it. He played through the steroid era, big whup, shit happens. And yes, I am just blabbing along because this is a baseball story and I have nothing of importance to say pertaining to it.

Only 162 more to catch Bonds!

2) Brett Favre: Back Already. Shocker.
Wow, just look at the shock on everybody face. Remarkable.

I like how today Brett says he never sent any text messages saying he was retiring, but conveniently didn't bother making a statement to refute the stories. One phone call to ESPN from his agent and story dead. Oh well, like I said yesterday, there was no way the NFL was going to let him retire so they can open the season with Drew Bress and the Saints vs. Tarvaris Jackson and the Vikings.

3) Shaq Signs With The Celtics
Good for Shaq and good for the Celtics. Their quest to re-form an early 2000's All-Star team is almost complete. So far they have Shaq, KG, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Jermaine O'Neal, and they own the rights to Rasheed Wallace. I say they add Allen Iverson, and re-add Stephon Marbury and Antoine Walker then BOOM! All of a sudden they have the most formidable team in the league if this were 2001.

That is the goal, right?? Oh okay, just checking.

Oh, and this just in, the Celtics will now offer rice pudding and prune juice at home games. And urinals will be installed behind both baskets. Oh yeah, and instead of risking injury playing during the preseason, the Celtics will instead be auditioning to be the next Viva Viagra band.

(Side note: So what's Shaq's new nickname gonna be?? The Big Shamrock? The Big Clover? Welp, being the racist city that Boston is, I'm sure the local will refer to him simply as "The Big Nigger.")

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R.I.P. George Steinbrenner

Sad news in baseball today as longtime New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has passed away of a massive heart attack this morning at the age of 80.

Well, at least he got to see his team win one last World Series last fall. I'll be interested to see what kind of tribute the MLB puts together for George at the All-Star Game tonight, and also what kind of tribute the Yankees do when the season restarts at Yankee Stadium this Friday the 16th.

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