1) Roy Williams Throws Romo & Austin Under The Bus
Here we go again! Damn I hate Roy Williams! Not only does he suck and not produce, but now he's dissing people. Its okay if T.O. does it because he's gonna put up numbers, but Roy is terrible. I don't think is a coincidence that all of a sudden the offense started clicking right when he got hurt and Miles Austin got more opportunity.
Hey Roy, Romo isn't throwing the ball correctly to everyone else, you're just the only one not in the right place when the ball arrives. Either that, or you drop the ball. Either way you suck and I really wish they'd put you at your rightful spot as the 4th or 5th WR.
2) NOW Wants Tom Cable Suspended Now!
And of course by "NOW" I'm referring to the National Organization for Women. So yeah, they want Tom Cable suspended because he admitted to hitting one of his bitches back in the day.
Now, I'm no employee of the moral police, but isn't coaching the Raiders punishment enough?? Seriously, I'll take staying home and receiving checks over watching JaMarcus Russell and his Buffie The Body hips overthrowing his WRs by 8 feet ANY day of the week! NOW should want something bad to happen to him, not something that would rival a vacation to Jamaica. Tom Cable is getting his punishment as we speak.
3) Dez Bryant Loses Final Suspension Appeal
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, FUCK THE NCAA! Fuck 'em long and fuck 'em hard. Fuck 'em in the ear. Fuck 'em with a sand paper condom on. Fuck 'em with one of those fake dicks from those Freaks Of Cock pornos. Just fuck 'em! Dez, go to the NFL, work your way into the starting line-up, and when you play in a Sunday night on NBC during the starters introduction where everyone says their name and college, say "Dez Bryant, University of FUCK 'EM!"
I rest my case lol.
4) Celts' Glen Davis Wants To Play in the NFL After NBA Career
He has the size, but he's crazy if he thinks he's gonna make it in the NFL at like 36 or 37. Plus, you get paid more in the NBA so sit your big cry baby ass down and worry about not fighting old team mates and injuring yourself.
5) Joe Girardi Stops To Help Motorist After World Series
Okay I wanna know how fine this lady was that he stopped and darted across traffic to help her out. Its well documented that dudes are more willing to help attractive women. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Let it had been an overweight ugly broad, she'd probably be on the side of the road still. The police and ambulance probably would've kept driving too lol.
November 05, 2009
Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition
August 24, 2009
Random News Shit: Shit I Never Spoke On Because I Was Too Busy Playing Madden Edition
1) Gender Test Requested For Runner Caster Semenya
Now y'all know good and got damn well that's a man! Let me prove my case:
Exhibit A: "Her" dude body. (This bitch mo' swoll than T.O.)
Exhibit B: "Her" dude voice. (When I was watching this video with my eyes closed, you're telling me that wasn't Dikembe Mutombo answering the questions??)
Exhibit C: "Her" dude name. (I can't find one baby name site that says Caster, Castor, or Kaster isn't a dude'd name.)
Exhibit D-Z: "Her" father not sounding confident "she's" a girl. ("I raised her and I have never doubted her gender." If you had a kid and this popped up wouldn't you come off more confident about its gender?? He never doubted?? That should've been more like "Bitch are you crazy?? I cleaned her masculine vag everyday for 5 years!")
2) Rick Pitino Admits To Sex With Woman Extorting Him For Money
As Bill Simmons said, this may be the weirdest story of the decade! I mean Rick Pitino fucking some broad on the floor in the back of some restaurant and giving her $3,000 for "health insurance" was already crazy enough, but the fact that one of his either assistants or trainers went and married the chick just kicks it up a notch. How can you work with a man when you know he fucked your wife, let alone in the back of a restaurant?? I rather work at the restaurant that work for the man who fucked her there lol.
Oh well, this all just goes to show nobody is perfect.
3) 50 Cent's Before I Self Destruct Pushed Back To November
This shit is just sad. Nobody is anticipating this album now because the time to drop it has passed. You know who should feel even worse about this than 50?? That's right, DR himself, Rick Ross. How you let him destroy you with no buzz to be found?? Sad.
4) Eagles' Selling Customizable Dog Jersey
Come one, come all! Get your Eagles' customizable dog jerseys! Any size, any player... wait, so that includes Michael Vick?? Uhh...yes? Yes! This is the best unintential comedy moment since...well pretty much all of these stories I'm writing about right now lol.
To be fair, I'm sure you can get these jerseys for any team and make them for any player BUT I feel like the NFL or at least the Eagles' should've saw this coming when they signed Mike Vick.
On another not, if I had a dog, there is NO way I wouldn't buy this! I would just love to see the reaction of people when I walked my mut in his brand new Michael Vick jersey! It'd be like Ryan Jenkins wearing an "I love my wife" shirt before his umtimely suicide. I'll get into that in a moment lol.
5) Raiders coach declines to discuss alleged fight
By now we pretty much know Tom Cable didn't actually punch assistant Randy Hanson, but still, buddy ended by with a cracked jaw and took a trip to the hospital. How crazy is this?? Where else does this happen, but Oakland?? Could you imagine Wade Phillips or Lovie Smith or any other NFL coach physically harming one of their assistants?? I don't care if he didn't personally hire the guy, it just doesn't happen.
And you know what?? I love it! I absolutely LOVE it! Its just great, I mean I'd play for that guy because he's obviously not going for your bullshit no matter who you are.
Question: Is Al Davis next on the Cableman's hit list?? lol.
6) C-Murder Sentenced To Life In Prison
I don't even know what to say about this. I mean its kinda sad, but then again its really not. I don't know, I ain't fuckin' with it and I don't have an opinion on it.
7) Former WWE Champ Kurt Angle Charged With HGH Possesion
Comments you won't see in response to this story: "Wrestlers use HGH?? Really?"
