Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition

1) Dolphins Trade Brandon Marshall To Bears

On some real shit, fuck the Dolphins! As if my Cowboys didn't have enough teams ahead of them in the NFC (Packers, Saints, Giants, etc.), they go and reunite Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler in Chicago. And do they gut the Bears in exchange for their top receiver? Nope, all they get back is 2 3rd-round picks. They traded 2 2nd-round picks to get him just 2 years ago!

But I guess that's all you can expect back in return for a 27 year-old WR coming off a Pro Bowl season of 81 catches for 1,214 yards while being thrown passes by Chad Henne and Matt Moore.

2) 49ers Sign Randy Moss
This obviously happened last night, but I forgot to talk about it.

Anyway, the deal is for 1 year and worth $2.5 million. In essence, this should make the 49ers better, but Randy Moss hasn't been Randy Moss for a couple years now.

(Side note: Am I the only one completely shocked no petty niggas have brought up how Moss and Peyton Manning are both 35 year-old NFL legends who missed the 2011 season but the white one is being courted by teams and will get paid huge money while the black one had to work out for teams and only got a 1-year deal?)

3) Bucs Land Vincent Jackson

Bad news for Phail Rivers, his #1 WR just joined the Buccaneers for $55,555,555 (ocho cincos...get it?) over the next 5 years with $26 million guaranteed.

4) Saints Keep Marques Colston

The deal is 5 years and worth $40 million with $19 million guaranteed. Good for the Saints.

5) Pierre Garcon Signs With Redskins

The Redskins also signed Josh Morgan and are on the verge of signing Eddie Royal (still no word on why he'd leave a back-up role to assume a back-up role elsewhere). Good thing receiver was their only need. Oh wait...

Anyway, I used to like Garcon, but fuck him now, he's with the enemy.

6) Cowboys Cut Terence Newman & David Buehler

Sad to see them go, but this was very necessary. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of all the cornerbacks on our roster not named Mike Jenkins or Orlando Sandrick. Then we need to sign a free agent or 2 and draft a couple of talented rookies (I definitely wouldn't mind hearing news that we traded up to get Morris Claiborne or Dre Kirkpatrick... but especially Morris Claiborne). That's how we'll fix the secondary.

And obviously getting rid of Buehler was a no-brainer.

7) Jason Campbell Signs With Bears
Smart move by Campbell, Chicago is as good a place as any to be the back-up QB.

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Top 10 Ultimate Building Blocks In The NFC East

ESPN.com's NFC East blogger Matt Mosley recently made up his list of top 10 building blocks from the division and this is what he came up with:

1) Eli Manning, NYG
2) DeMarcus Ware, DAL
3) Albert Haynesworth, WAS
4) Asante Samuel, PHI
5) Jason Peters, PHI
6) Jason Witten, DAL
7) Justin Tuck, NYG
8) Brandon Jacobs, NYG
9) Brian Orakpo, WAS
10) Brian Westbrook, PHI

Eli Manning is the most valuable person in the NFC East?? Really?? Last time I checked he wasn't even the best QB, let alone best player overall. Here's a real list composed by yours truly:

1) DeMarcus Ware, DAL
This is a no-brainer, need I remind you he had 20 sacks and 6 forced fumbles last year?? There's no question who I'm taking with my 1st pick.

2) Albert Haynesworth, WAS
Haynesworth already takes up a bunch of space in the middle, but with teams doubling Ware, he should be even more of a beast than ever before.

3) Donovan McNabb, PHI
Eli was human without Plax last year. Meanwhile, Donovan has been playing with mediocre receivers for years and still put up numbers. Plus, he won't fold in crunch time like Romo.

4) Osi Umenyiora, NYG
With Ware, Haynesworth, and Osi out there, I might not even need anymore offensive players. What are teams gonna do?? You can't double team them all so at least one of them is gonna kill you every play.

5) Jason Witten, DAL
Great blocker and pass catcher, Donovan could do wonders with Witten out there with him.

6) Asante Samuel, PHI
Asante gets picks even when QBs have time to throw so just imagine what he'd do with Ware, Haynesworth, and Osi putting the pressure on. He might catch 20 INTs. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he's from the 954.

7) Marion Barber, DAL
This was tough because the NFC East has such good RBs with Brandon Jacobs, Clinton Portis, and Brian Westbrook. I'd take Barber over all of them though because he runs tough, isn't easily taken down, is a beast in the 4th quarter, and isn't as injury prone as Portis and Westbrook. If he doesn't hurt his toe last year on Thanksgiving, he rushes for at least 1,200 yards.

8) Terence Newman, DAL
Newman is a game changer when he's on the field so he and Asante in my secondary equals WR lockdown.

9) DeSean Jackson, PHI
With Plax and T.O. both banished from the NFC East, Jackson is now the best receiver in the conference. Plus, not only does he stretch the field, but he gets me great field position on all those 3-and-out punts my incredible defense would force.

10) Jason Peters, PHI
This is gonna be a huge year for Peters, I can feel it. I have no idea why the Bills traded him. Oh well, he'll do wonders giving McNabb more time.

And there you have it. Nobody is fuckin' with this team and certainly not one led by Eli Manning.

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Extensions & Big Bucks For Newman & Barber

I'm glad we finally locked up Marion Barber, but this new deal with Terence Newman was big for us too because with he and Pacman on the corners our secondary should remain dominate.

Newman got a 6-year extension worth $50.2 million with $22.5 million of that because guaranteed money over the 1st 3 years of the deal. The Barbarian received a 7-year extension worth $45 million which includes $16 million in guaranteed money.

I'm happy with that...now I'll be even happier when Dictator Goodell stops fuckin' around and takes Pacman off suspension, but its cool I'm patient.

Source

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