Kevin Hart Hosting The VMAs

While this is obviously excellent news, I have to ask why it didn't happen sooner? There was no host last year and Kevin Hart kept coming out and doing things, so why not just have had him hosting last year too? Oh well, I'm still happy for the new King of Comedy.

I'm also happy for my Dallas Cowboys because MTV clearly moved the VMAs up to a Thursday to distract me from the Cowboys-Giants season opener. What they hadn't anticipated was the NFL deciding to bump the game up to Wednesday so it wouldn't conflict with the Democratic National Convention.

Ha! In your face, MTV!

I don't care what anybody says, one of the higher-ups at MTV hates the Cowboys and is doing this shit on purpose. If the NFL hadn't bumped the game up a day, it would've been the 3rd time since 2007 the VMAs coincided with the Dallas Cowboys season opener. Coincidence? I think not.

(Side note: I wonder how much the Romney campaign had to pay MTV to randomly move the VMAs to Thursday for the first time sine 2006 to distract from the DNC?)

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Kanye West Finally Gets His Ho Girl

Generally I don't do gossip stories, but after the release of Theraflu last night, I thought it would be important to mention it appears Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now dating.

I can't fault Kanye though, Kim's ass is so amazing...even though there is footage out with another man's penis in and around her mouth.

SOURCE

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DJ Khaled - Theraflu Way Too Cold (feat. Kanye West)

Mercy is still on the Friday, but Funk Flex randomly drops this new DJ Khaled joint with Kanye tonight. You're gonna wanna check this one out. Enjoy!

DJ Khaled - Theraflu Way Too Cold (feat. Kanye West) (Prod. By Hit-Boy) (Alt. Link)

And the whole industry wanna fuck ya old chick.
Only nigga I got respect for is Wiz.
And I'll admit, I had fell in love with Kim,
'Round the same time she had fell in love wit' him
Well, that's cool, baby girl, do ya thing.
Lucky I ain't have Jay drop him from the team.

SHOTS FIRED!!!!

Man o man must it suck to be Kris Humphries.

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Behind The Scenes Of Rhymefest & Kanye's Failed Puppet Show

How in the FUCK did Comedy Central pick up The Jeff Dunham Show, but not Alligator Boots? I mean, it's not like Alligator Boots was before his time in 2001 and The Jeff Dunham Show perfected puppeteering, no, they were both made around 2009 and Comedy Central picked up one and not the other.

Wait a minute, wasn't 2009 the same year Kanye jumped on stage and interrupted Taylor Swift's bullshit acceptance speech? I wonder if that had anything to do with their decision not to pick up the show? Or if their decision not to pick up the show had anything to do with him getting drunk on the red carpet and running on stage? Either way, Alligator Boots is a distant memory and The Jeff Dunham Show is still going on strong. Oh, wait...

(Side note: Alligator Boots should've been picked up for Kim Kardasian saying "penis in my vagina" alone!)

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Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries Wedding Vows

Damn, I didn't even know Kim's wedding was tomorrow, where have I been? I mean, of course I don't care, but it seems like I would've at least known it was taking place tomorrow before I heard Angela Yee say it in this clip. Oh well.

Anyway, The Breakfast Club came up with some exclusive audio of Kim K and male Kris K's wedding vows. Enjoy!

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The "Kardashian Luck Theory" Needs An "I"

Miles Austin and Kim Kardashian were spotted together again and all accounts say it's fully on between the two. Now if you listened to episode 104 of my podcast, you would know I'm a major proponent or this relationship because those Kardashian girls bring on championships. It isn't good enough to just state it though, it's time the Kardashians had a full-on theory.

As of right now I have it as the "Kardashian Luck Theory" (or the KLT), but I'd like to add an "I" to that and make it the "KILT," as in those man-skirts dudes in Scotland wear. Help me out and pick an adjective beginning with "I" out of the 6 I pre-selected: intangible, incredible, indescribable, incomprehensible, illogical, and impeccable.

So hit me up in the comments, on Twitter, on Facebook, or via e-mail and let me know which you like best!

Text 101 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Intangible Luck Theory"

Text 102 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Incredible Luck Theory"

Text 103 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Indescribable Luck Theory"

Text 104 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Incomprehensible Luck Theory"

Text 105 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Illogical Luck Theory"

Text 106 to 501501 to select the "Kardashian Impeccable Luck Theory"

All contributions are greatly appreciated lol.

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The Winners & Losers Of Super Bowl XLIV

First off, congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. You won your first Super Bowl, but don't forget who 's better than you. (Week 15 highlights anyone??)

Anyway, I wanted to try something new, and I really liked the "winners/losers" thing Bill Simmons did in a column a few weeks back, so I stole it. Welp, here it is, the winners and losers of Super Bowl XLIV!

Winners: The Boost Mobile shuffle; the little black kid from the Doritos commercial; Joseph Addai; auto-tune, David Letterman, Oprah, and Jay Leno; casual Fridays; men without pants; Brett Favre in 2020, Warren Sapp jokes; little people (KISS commercial, Troy Polamalu commercial); Nickelodeon (they were showing "Malcolm In The Middle" during halftime and gave me something to watch); onside kicks; Sean Payton's balls; Garrett Hartly; eTrade babies; Tracy Porter; the Saints; the city of New Orleans.

Losers: People who came to Miami for Super Bowl weekend, but didn't have tickets to the game; Queen Latifah's singing performance; Emmitt Smith's coin toss; all Doritos commercial NOT starring that little black kid; Cars.com (Shouldn't Timothy Richman's infinite knowledge afford him whatever car he wants??); Kim Kardashian camera shots; the Super Bowl halftime show; the referee trying to explain why the 2-point conversion was good; Charles Barkley's rap skills; GoDaddy.com; anyone who only watched to see the commercials; Peyton Manning's legacy; Reggie Wayne; Haiti; running plays on 3rd down with about a minute left in the game when down 14; the Gatorade shower; the Miami Dolphins (they picked Dante Colpepper over Drew Brees a few years back); giving up on 16-0; resting starters; the Colts.

Have any to add?? Leave them in the comments!

(Side note: Special thanks to Adam Carolla for practically forcing me to pick the Saints.)

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"Try imagining something passionate between you Cassie and Kim Kardashian"

This post really has no relevance to anything besides irony. All last night during my dreams I kept hearing that Kanye line from Stay Up! (Viagra) over, and over, and over in my head and woke up to this picture lol. That's ironic to me, fuck y'all lol. Plus, I wouldn't mind doing anything passionate Cassie and/or Kim Kardashian. In fact, I'd love to skeet on Kim's dress because of the sheer ugliness of it lol.

Just in case you were wondering, this was from a Empowerment of Africa dinner last night. And yes, this will be SGGP even though Kim's dress is horrendous lol.

Related Posts:
Kanye West Feat. 88 Keys - Stay Up! (Viagra)

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Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Kim Kardashian Again!

I thought I was done for the night....then I saw this on ThisIs50 lol. Damn, she's just so fuckin' fine is crazy!

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Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Kim Kardashian

Honestly, this is the first photoshoot I've seen Kim that did her justice. The Playboy pics were pretty weak and so were the KING pics, but these are hot! Maybe if Playboy hired this photographer they'd see some increases next quarter lol.

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Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Kim Kardashian's Assoh

I really have no reason to post this shit, but fuck, I just can't stop looking at it! I wish I had more pics of this event to share, but oh well I'm just gonna enjoy what I got lol.

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How Wack Is This??

I was reading the Rumors on my Sidekick when I scrolled past the picture above and at that time I KNEW I had to come online and make this post lol. Is this shit crazy or what?? I mean it is pretty wack, and I really don't think they would actually putting this shit out anyway...or would they?? Who really knows but this shit is corny and the photoshopmenship (yeah I just made that up so what lol) is kinda bad lol.

Ray J, its a wrap, STOP IT! lol.

On another note, wasn't that the wackest sex tape of all time?? I mean I guess it was cool if you were a female, but that shit was just bad lol. I dunno whatever I got so much porn that it really doesn't matter if this shit was worth watching lol.

**UPDATE**

Well from this pic below, you can see that Ray J is actually serious about using this cover for his mixtape. Sad.

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Why??? and INN: Keeping Up With The Hoing Kardashians

Why???: Why the fuck does Kim Kardashian have a show?? Again, I ask: why is she famous????

INN: Look, I don't give a damn what she is, this is some ig'nant ass shit! You can watch all of it if you want, but the part I'm talking about starts 50 seconds in.



What, the, FUCK?!?!?!? Obviously the apple doesn't fall too far from the stripper pole lol. The Kardashian sex tape franchise will undoubtedly continue as this ho-ish child ascends through the famous-just-cause ranks in the coming 5-6 years lol. I can't believe it, and I felt wrong for watching it, this shit is gross! I still in awe...holla!

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Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Kim Kardashian In Playboy

Click The Cover For The Pics!

Okay, let me get this right: she didn't want her sex tape with Ray-J out, didn't want pics of her and her sister at like 17 getting loose, but she DOES wanna pose nude for Playboy?? I can smell the desperation from here lol. Like Paris Hilton, no one really know why Kim is famous BUT the positive here is: who the fuck cares, she's fine as FUCK!

Anyway, If you can't read small italicized fonts, all you have to do is click the picture to see the rest of the Playboy pics because I was too lazy to upload them myself lol.

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