Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) Venus Survives Opening Round Scare After Knee Injury
There was a bet going on Streak For The Cash about how many total games would be played in Venus' match with Vera Dushevina. Your 2 options were as follows: 15 games or fewer OR 16 games or more. Thirty-four games were played.

I wanted her to go over 16, but damn! It was cool at first because I was winning, but then my girl V was really in danger of losing. It was crazy! BUT she did survive though I'm not sure how much further she can go with that bad knee.

2) Ricky Rubio Agrees To... Stay In Spain
I would comment on this, but I can't say it any better than Bill Simmons did last night so without any further ado, take the mic Sports Guy:

"So Minny traded [Randy] Foye & [Mike] Miller for $18 mill of bad contracts + the right to negotiate with Rubio 2 summers from now? Savvy!"

"ESPN's Chris Sheridan is reporting that Isiah Thomas just called David Kahn to congratulate him on his wheeling and dealing."

Questions for D. Kahn's press conference: "On the bright side, it must have been nice to visit Spain a few times, right?"

Question for David Kahn's press conference: "Do you think the next Minnesota GM will be able to sign Rubio in 2011?"

Well said Mr. Simmons, well said.

3) Osi Umenyiora Gets Missing
Alright Bill Sheridan! Up high baby! Sheridan is a much better fit for my Cowboys than Steve Spagnuolo ever was. Hell, I hope he keep alienating his top defensive players. Is it too early to join his fan club because I'm ready now?

4) Tom Brady's Shoulder Okay, Plans To Play In MNF Opener
A collective sigh of relief could be heard coming from all the white NFL analysts at ESPN headquarters in Bristol, CT when this news broke.

5) Pacman Signs 1-Year Deal To Play In CFL
Well really, what other choice did he have?? Nobody in the NFL was gonna sign this guy so it was either this or that new league that's out that I already forgot the name of lol.

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Top 10 Ultimate Building Blocks In The NFC East

ESPN.com's NFC East blogger Matt Mosley recently made up his list of top 10 building blocks from the division and this is what he came up with:

1) Eli Manning, NYG
2) DeMarcus Ware, DAL
3) Albert Haynesworth, WAS
4) Asante Samuel, PHI
5) Jason Peters, PHI
6) Jason Witten, DAL
7) Justin Tuck, NYG
8) Brandon Jacobs, NYG
9) Brian Orakpo, WAS
10) Brian Westbrook, PHI

Eli Manning is the most valuable person in the NFC East?? Really?? Last time I checked he wasn't even the best QB, let alone best player overall. Here's a real list composed by yours truly:

1) DeMarcus Ware, DAL
This is a no-brainer, need I remind you he had 20 sacks and 6 forced fumbles last year?? There's no question who I'm taking with my 1st pick.

2) Albert Haynesworth, WAS
Haynesworth already takes up a bunch of space in the middle, but with teams doubling Ware, he should be even more of a beast than ever before.

3) Donovan McNabb, PHI
Eli was human without Plax last year. Meanwhile, Donovan has been playing with mediocre receivers for years and still put up numbers. Plus, he won't fold in crunch time like Romo.

4) Osi Umenyiora, NYG
With Ware, Haynesworth, and Osi out there, I might not even need anymore offensive players. What are teams gonna do?? You can't double team them all so at least one of them is gonna kill you every play.

5) Jason Witten, DAL
Great blocker and pass catcher, Donovan could do wonders with Witten out there with him.

6) Asante Samuel, PHI
Asante gets picks even when QBs have time to throw so just imagine what he'd do with Ware, Haynesworth, and Osi putting the pressure on. He might catch 20 INTs. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he's from the 954.

7) Marion Barber, DAL
This was tough because the NFC East has such good RBs with Brandon Jacobs, Clinton Portis, and Brian Westbrook. I'd take Barber over all of them though because he runs tough, isn't easily taken down, is a beast in the 4th quarter, and isn't as injury prone as Portis and Westbrook. If he doesn't hurt his toe last year on Thanksgiving, he rushes for at least 1,200 yards.

8) Terence Newman, DAL
Newman is a game changer when he's on the field so he and Asante in my secondary equals WR lockdown.

9) DeSean Jackson, PHI
With Plax and T.O. both banished from the NFC East, Jackson is now the best receiver in the conference. Plus, not only does he stretch the field, but he gets me great field position on all those 3-and-out punts my incredible defense would force.

10) Jason Peters, PHI
This is gonna be a huge year for Peters, I can feel it. I have no idea why the Bills traded him. Oh well, he'll do wonders giving McNabb more time.

And there you have it. Nobody is fuckin' with this team and certainly not one led by Eli Manning.

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Giant Loss = Early Christmas Present!

As a dude with a team in the NFC East this is like the best shit ever! Giants' DE Osi Umenyiora is 100% O-U-T for the entire '08 season! I mean the Giants wouldn't be a threat even if Osi was playing, but I sure like the Osi-less, Shockey-less, Strahan-less Giants alot more than the Giants with them lol.

We almost had a 2 for 1 last night when Jason Taylor sprained his knee, but he should be back by the time we play th Redskins. That's all good though because we got Osi and the 'Skins can't fuck with us regardless.

SOURCE

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Random News Shit: Sex, Police, & Teens Edition

Trooper Suspended Over Porn Star's Claims; Indicted for Porn Star Tryst

LMAO!!! I dunno how I missed this shit, but its like the funniest shit ever! LMAO!!! Basically he pulled her over, get gave him some dome, and he let her go and threw away from drugs for her. Then the idiot goes and tells his co-workers! LMAO!! Here's the news report from when this shit first broke and before he got indicted lol:


If you wanna see some of Barbie's "work" here are some PIX and a VIDEO...oh yeah she only fucks brothas...on camera lol.

Teens prosecuted for racy photos...of themselves!

This shit here is retarded! A 17 year-old boy and his 16 year-old girlfriend were arrested for having sex, taking pictures of it, and her e-mailing them to him. They didn't even show anyone else, she just e-mailed them to him. The police won't say how they got the photos, but apparently in the state of Florida this constitutes as "child pornography"...even though they are the children involved! Can a case get any more retarded than this??? The system failed these to kids and a law that was put in place to protect them is being used to ruin their lives. This shit is just petty as fuck and like I assumed that female shooter was white I'm gonna have to assume these kids are black based on the pettiness and ridiculousness of this "crime".

Oh yeah, if its considered "child pornography" for these kids to see pictures of themselves having sex then shouldn't the hundreds of people prosecuting this in court, who also saw the pics, be arrested too?? I'm just asking.

3 Ohio Teens Sue School for Suspending Them Over Calling Teacher a Pedophile on Fake Web Page

I wanna start by saying this is why they should have kept Facebook exclusively for college student! Now, I wanna say: what kind of bullshit is this??? Yeah those kids were wrong for doing this, but to suspend them for 90 days for something done outside of school is just ridiculous. 90 days??? That's 3 fuckin' months! How are they supposed to make up for 3 months out of school??? I don't blame them for suing the school and I hope they get broke off proper.

9th Grade Girls Suspended For Sex-Ed T-Shirts

I saw this on CNN yesterday and thought it'd be interesting to bring up. Basically the girl's high school sex-ed classes only preach abstinence and not safe sex so they made shirts with condoms on them to protest. If this school thinks suspending these girls and not teaching safe sex is stopping their students from fucking then they are even more retarded than they seem lol.

Osi Likes it Nasty

This isn't news as much as its about some random slut who got shitted on (literally). Osi Umenyiora of the New York Giants apparently paid this slut bucket to let him piss and shit on her body during and/or after they had sex lol. I guess he stopped paying her bills so the ho bag goes and makes a blog about like its something to do lol. I told y'all hoes will do anything for money, but I guess we should blame her prostituty ways on Hip-Hop anyway, right?

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