Random News Shit: NFL Free Agent Mania Edition

1) Plaxico Burress Likely To Re-Sign With Either Giants Or Steelers

Well that's dope, he can either go to his first NFL home or his 2nd and last. If I was him, I'd go with the Steelers, not only are they better, but I doubt Pennsylvania would make him do 2 years in prison for shooting himself. Yeah, he had awesome chemistry with Eli Manning, but I'd be like fuck New York if I was Plax.

Welp, at least his has suitors. Before he got locked up, some folks thought he wouldn't play in the NFL again.

2) Jets, Santonio Holmes Agree To 5-Yr/$50 Million Deal

And that's with $24 million dollars in guaranteed money. I know Santonio is a former Super Bowl MVP, but really, he got that much money? He's not even a top 10 WR in the league. Hell, is he even top 15? This is an atrocious deal, but oh well fuck it, at least they probably won't be able to sign Nnamdi Asomugha or re-sign Braylon Edwards. Wait a minute...

3) DeAngelo Williams Re-Signs With The Panthers
The deal is worth $43 million over 5 years with $21 million in guaranteed money. Sucks for the Dolphins because I know they didn't want to bring Ronnie Brown back and probably don't want to bring Marion Barber in. Oh well, the Panthers paid damn near everybody today so it'd only make sense for them to back up the Brinks truck for DeAngelo.

4) Sidney Rice Leaves Minnesota For Seattle

I guess he wasn't a big fan of the Donovan McNabb trade. Oh well, at least he gets to catch passes from Tavaris Jackson again. Awesome.

Anyway, the deal with the Seahawks is 5-years/$41 million.

The Seahawks also snapped up Robert Gallery from the Raiders today.

5) Chargers Give Eric Weddle 5-Yr/$40 Million Deal
With $19 million in guaranteed money. Yep, that makes Weddle the highest paid safety in the league. I won't lie, I wanted the guy in a Cowboys' uniform, but not that bad. I ain't mad at him though, get that paper.

6) Matt Hasselbeck Joins The Titans
No word on how long the deal is or how much it's worth, but now it's only a matter of time before Vince Young hits the free agent pool. He may be the last decent QB left in it by then too.

7) Cowboys Give Doug Free $32 Million For 4 Years

Nice! Now we need some help in for secondary. It won't matter how strong our offensive line is if our DBs can't stop anybody. Go get Cromartie or Joseph!

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Upset Saturday

So, who had the Seahawks tossing up the Saints and Mark Sanchez leading a game winning drive against the Colts?? Nobody?? Oh, ok.

I don't even know what to say, I'm completely stunned by today's results. Both of last year's Super Bowl teams out of the playoffs on the first day. Insanity! Matt Hasselbeck outplayed Drew Brees! Mark Sanchez beat Peyton Manning! Birds fell from the sky! Fish died! The world is coming to an end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But you can't blame those games squarely on Drew Brees and Peyton Manning, they didn't get much help from their coaches. Sean Payton finally outsmarted himself. How do you go for it on 4th down on your own 38, but don't go for it on 4th and 2 inside the Seahawks' 3?? Then they're the awful play call on the 2-point conversion where they tried to rush straight up the middle with...DeShawn Wynn! DeShawn Wynn?!?! The guy hadn't gotten a carry all game, but you put the ball in his hand at that critical moment?? C'mon Sean.

Oh, and don't even get me started on that sad sack Julius Jones. Yeah, he rushed for 2 TDs, so that makes his stat line look nice, but if you actually watched the game, you would've saw he was awful. He turned the ball over twice! Once on a fumble, and the other by just sucking and tripping over his own man on 4th and inches.

Then there's the defense. Roman Harper got burned more times than a bitch smoking crack with Rick James. That whole secondary had Matt Hasselbeck out there looking like...well, Matt Hasselbeck, just circa '05.

But you gotta give the Seahawks credit, it a certain point, you could really see who wanted it more (like N.O.'s poor attempts at tackling on that 67-yard run by Marshawn Lynch). They didn't just luck into a victory, they went out and took.

Now, the Colts. What in the fuck was Jim Caldwell out there doing?? He started the game by burning a timeout on a challenge that was clear as day he wasn't going to win. And speaking of timeouts, what in the fuck was he thinking when he called that one with 29 seconds left in the game?? I know you're opponent was Mark Sanchez and not Tom Brady, but why stop the clock and give him extra time to prepare when you don't have to?? Next play: 18 yard pass to Braylon Edwards. Game over.

What was Caldwell's fantasy there?? Did he think the Colts were gonna get the ball back and lead a touchdown drive after the game was over?? The Jets only had one timeout, all they were gonna do was run the ball and try to get into better field position for a Nick Folk field goal. But instead of having their shaky kicker attempt one from 50-plus, Caldwell made it possibly for a chip shot 32-yarder.

What a bad day for Jim Caldwell to finally show us he was indeed alive. Just let Peyton coach the damn team. Although Caldwell's poor use of timeouts allowed Jason Whitlock to call him Jim "Chris Webber" Caldwell (or C-Well), in reference to Chris Webber's infamous timeout misuse in the 1993 National Championship game. That shit had me rollin'!

But with that said, I'm happy for Rex Ryan. Everyone in the media talks shit about him because he's confident in himself and his team, but let's not forgot that he is 3-1 in the playoffs as a head coach.

It is a shame Rex had to shit on Tom Brady the other day and now his Jets don't stand a chance against the Pats next Sunday. Damn.

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