The Winners & Losers Of Super Bowl XLIV

First off, congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. You won your first Super Bowl, but don't forget who 's better than you. (Week 15 highlights anyone??)

Anyway, I wanted to try something new, and I really liked the "winners/losers" thing Bill Simmons did in a column a few weeks back, so I stole it. Welp, here it is, the winners and losers of Super Bowl XLIV!

Winners: The Boost Mobile shuffle; the little black kid from the Doritos commercial; Joseph Addai; auto-tune, David Letterman, Oprah, and Jay Leno; casual Fridays; men without pants; Brett Favre in 2020, Warren Sapp jokes; little people (KISS commercial, Troy Polamalu commercial); Nickelodeon (they were showing "Malcolm In The Middle" during halftime and gave me something to watch); onside kicks; Sean Payton's balls; Garrett Hartly; eTrade babies; Tracy Porter; the Saints; the city of New Orleans.

Losers: People who came to Miami for Super Bowl weekend, but didn't have tickets to the game; Queen Latifah's singing performance; Emmitt Smith's coin toss; all Doritos commercial NOT starring that little black kid; Cars.com (Shouldn't Timothy Richman's infinite knowledge afford him whatever car he wants??); Kim Kardashian camera shots; the Super Bowl halftime show; the referee trying to explain why the 2-point conversion was good; Charles Barkley's rap skills; GoDaddy.com; anyone who only watched to see the commercials; Peyton Manning's legacy; Reggie Wayne; Haiti; running plays on 3rd down with about a minute left in the game when down 14; the Gatorade shower; the Miami Dolphins (they picked Dante Colpepper over Drew Brees a few years back); giving up on 16-0; resting starters; the Colts.

Have any to add?? Leave them in the comments!

(Side note: Special thanks to Adam Carolla for practically forcing me to pick the Saints.)

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Random News Shit: Last Days Of The NFL Season Edition

1) Freeney Misses Final Colts' Practice, Wayne Back
All week everybody has been talking about Dwight Freeney and will he play, or won't he, and I have yet to hear anybody bring up DeMarcus Ware. What does D. Ware have to do with this game?? Sadly, nothing, well besides the fact that back in Week 15 he dominated the Saints offensive line while only playing 3rd downs and 6 days removed from a sprained neck.

Yeah, they are 2 totally different injuries, but if Ware can make an impact after being carted off on a stretcher 6 days earlier, I don't see why Freeney can't be effective in this game today, even if he's limited.

Now, as far as Reggie Wayne goes, its good for the Colts that they have him back out there. Without Reggie out there drawing so much attention, it'd be harder for the Austin Collies and Pierre Garcons of the world to get open.

2) Joey Porter Wants Out Of Miami
Well this sucks for the Dolphins. It also seems dumb to me. I don't even know what to say, but I'd love to have him in Dallas.

3) Warren Sapp Arrested & Charged With Domestic Battery
Super Bowl weekend in Miami just isn't the same without a few arrests. We all knew it was just a matter of time, but it finally happened. I thought it'd be an active player, but this is well enough.

Anyway, details are pretty sketchy still, but we do know this: Warren Sapp was arrested and charged with domestic battery for allegedly choking some lady out in his hotel room, and has since been released on $1,500 bond. Warren has also been removed from the NFL Network's coverage team until the investigation is over (aka he got fired and not only won't you see him on the panel today, but he won't be there next season either). Sucks for him, but he's got to be smarter than to put himself into these kinda situations.

4) Browns To Release Donte' Stallworth Upon Reinstatement
Speaking of having to be smarter than to put yourselves in these kinda situation (especially in Miami), Donte' Stallworth will be reinstated at some point today by Roger Goodell. When that happens, the Browns organization says he'll need to find a new team to call a disgrace to play for, because he's getting released!

Stallworth is still relatively young (29) so I also wouldn't mind having him in Dallas. Its not gonna happen, but I'd take him and his run-after-the-catch abilities over Roy Williams and his run-before-the-catch abilities.

5) Pat Bowlen Wants Brandon Marshall Back Next Season
Makes sense, he's a game-breaking receiver and is still only 25 years-old. Yeah, he can be a headache at times, but fuck it, you traded away his quarterback so deal with it.

6) Jerry Rice & Emmitt Smith Headline 7-Man Hall Of Fame Class
Here's the list: Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, G Russ Grimm, LB Rickey Jackson, CB Dick LeBeau, RB Floyd Little, and DT John Randle. Its about time they put Dick LeBeau through, ain't he about 84 now??

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