New England Releases Tiquan Underwood On Super Bowl Eve

Is it too late to change my pick to the Giants? I mean, this is no Barret Robbins situation, but this can't be good karma heading into the biggest game of the year.

How do you let a guy shave the team's logo in his head, fly to Indy, participate in Media Day, and hang out for all weeks only to cut him on Super Bowl Eve?! I almost forget what a fucked up nigga William Belichick is, but this was a great reminder.

This reminds me of when the Banks got invited to be on Oprah and let Will fly out before telling him he wasn't going to be on the show with them. I think that in itself is enough to bestow Tiquan with the nickname Fresh Prince, what do you think? My thoughts exactly.

Bow Tiquan Underwood, rise Fresh Prince of the waiver wire.

SOURCE

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NFL Winners & Losers: Super Bowl XLVI

On this week's podcast we talk about Hugh Douglas's thick neck, Peyton Manning's next team, why Jim Irsay is a fuck nigga, Super Bowl XLVI, the retirement of Jada Fire, Cory Gunz going to jail, smoke detectors, Chick fil-A, and AskMen.com's shitty Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2012.

New England Patriots (15-3) vs. New York Giants (12-7)

I went back and forth on this constantly since both of these teams backed into the biggest game in the world a couple weeks ago. The Giants have all the confidence in the world right now, and they probably should. They beat this team when they were 18-0, they beat this team earlier this season, they beat the best team in the league at home in round 2, they beat one of the best defenses in the league in the Championship Round. I just can't think of one reason the Giants shouldn't win this game...which is why I'm picking the Patriots.

I've been wrong plenty times before, but I just feel like they Pats are about to right the wrong of Super Bowl 42 and pull this one out. I don't know how they're gonna beat New York's defense and I don't know how they're gonna stop New York's offense, but in the end, I think Thomas and William will hoist their 4th Lombardi Trophy. Patriots winners, Giants losers.

This Week: 0-1 (.000)
Playoff Record: 7-4 (.636)
Overall Record: 164-103 (.614)
Last Week: 2-0 (1.000)
Regular Season Record: 157-99 (.613)

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TruthPasteTV: The Super Bowl Was Super Gay

My dude James Hannah stay coming with that truth!

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My Favorite Super Bowl XLV Commercials

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The Green Bay Packers Are Your Super Bowl XLV Champions

Welp, I definitively said the Pittsburgh Steelers would win the Super Bowl, and the Green Bay Packers came and took it from them. I really can't believe that Lil Wayne Green & Yellow freestyle didn't have any effect on the outcome. I guess the cheesiness of lines like "I'm up in this bitch with more blood than a blood vessel" only served to power on the Cheeseheads.

At the end of the day, the "Brett Favre shit sundae" factor (the worst way a horrible year could end for Brett would be with his replacement in Green Bay winning a Super Bowl) proved to be too strong. I knew that factor loomed since I listened to Kevin Hench bring it up on Adam Carolla's podcast last Friday, but I chose to ignore it. My bad.

Another factor I chose to ignore was the "Dave Dameshek at a Steelers game" factor. On Friday night I finally decided to listen to episode LXI of Daves Of Thunder and at the beginning Jacuzzi Pete said Dave Dameshek would be out next week because he was on assignment at the Super Bowl. On a recent episode of DOT, Dameshek was talking about how the Steelers always lose when he goes to their games (the 2004 AFC Championship game in their 15-1 season being one of them). For whatever reason I chose to ignore that as well. My bad.

BUT let me not get too caught up in these "factors," and ignore the fact that the Steelers played an awful game. I'm amazed they even had a shot at the end after how bad they played. I give Green Bay credit for sealing the deal, but they let a team hang around after turning the ball over 3 times. That's unacceptable. Great teams would've demolished the Steelers the way they played Sunday. I'm not trying to take anything away from them, but the win wasn't that impressive. Aaron Rodgers was impressive, but the Packers weren't as a team. Oh well, a win is a win.

The last thing I wanted to talk about is Green Bay being called "Titletown." Every single year I have to hear idiots talk about how the Dallas Cowboys are no longer America's Team, but nobody ever challenges Green Bay being called Titletown. Why? Last night gave Green Bay its 4th Super Bowl victory, there's 3 teams with more titles than them (Cowboys, 49ers, and Steelers)! We all know the Cowboys have the biggest fan base, so I don't know why we can't continue being America's Team unchallenged if Green Bay can be Titletown with less Super Bowls than 3 teams.

And last, but not least, doesn't it look like Clay Matthews is telling Aaron Rodgers to smell his finger in this picture?

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Random News Shit: Super Weekend Headlines Edition

1) Sanders, Faulk, & Sharpe Headline Hall Of Fame Class
Rightfully so, if only for Prime landing that fine ass Pilar. Bagging her his worth a HoF spot alone. Damn, she's fine!

2) Vick Wins Comeback Player Of The Year
Good, gotta give my man Vick something since his offensive line practically single-handedly eliminated him from the MVP race.

3) Santana Moss To Be A Free Agent
Similarly to Nnamdi Asomugha, Moss' contract will be void soon, and the 31 year-old will become a free agent. Honestly, I don't give a shit where he lands, I'm just happy he won't be in Washington because he used to kill us all the time.

4) Cops Stop Phil Simms From Attacking Desmond Howard
Can I put money on this fight in Vegas? I like Desmond Howard to win, and I like him to win big!

Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with Phil Simms? This fool is trying to go from CBS to CB4. He better sit his old white ass down somewhere before he throws out his back or some shit.

5) "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" Guy To Miss The Super Bowl
Robert Cook from Visa's "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" ads has been in the hospital since Thursday, and will indeed miss Super Bowl XLV. And what makes matters worse is that Cook is a Packers fan. Yep, so not only will he miss a Super Bowl, but he'll miss one that his own team is in. I'd say that's worse. Oh well, there's always the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Except That Time My Team Played In It Club." Besides, he could've died and missed a Super Bowl that way, so Cook should consider himself lucky. He'll feel a lot better about missing this game after his team loses tonight.

Speaking of the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club," what's with that one guy Larry Jacobson? Can he see, or what? You know the guy I'm talking about too, but in case you want to play dumb, check him out here.

Yeah, him. Is the nigga blind or not? Personally, I think he is blind and his kids takes his tickets every year and drop him off somewhere so he thinks he's actually there. I mean, no need to waste perfectly good Super Bowl tickets on a dude who can't even see the game, right? Right!

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Random News Shit: Unexpected Sports Edition

1) Titans & Jeff Fisher Part Ways
Talk about shocking news, I thought Fisher was staying for sure after the Titans said they were going to trade or release Vince Young, but obviously that's no longer the case.

My guess is that after all that time with one organization, Fisher will take a couple years off before jumping back into the coaching game. Even though he never won a Super Bowl, I'm sure plenty of teams would love to have him.

Speaking of Jeff Fisher, you know who must be pissed right now? Chuck Cecil. Fisher fired Cecil as defensive coordinator a week ago. I know Chuck is somewhere talking so reckless about Fisher right damn now.

2) O.J. Mayo Suspended For 10 Games
Normally this would be a bad thing, but seeing how it may help him escape Memphis, this could actually work to his advantage. Fingers crossed he doesn't land in Chicago, or New York.

Speaking of Chicago...

3) Derrick Rose Has Stomach Ulcers
So eating candy everyday is not good for you? Who knew?

4) Dallas Experiences Stripper Shortage For Super Bowl
Well when Ben Roethlisberger is coming to town, you better stock up on your naked white women. Hopefully the champagne room doesn't have lockable doors.

Seriously though, they need 10,000 strippers?? I know everything is bigger in Texas, but how big are these strip clubs?? (Rimshot!)

5) Miles Austin & Champ Bailey Are Going To Hawaii
DeSean Jackson and Nnamdi Asomugha aren't going to be able to play in this weekend's Pro Bowl, so they had to be replaced. In all honesty, Miles probably should've been there instead of DeSean regardless. DeSean only caught 47 passes (47!!!!) on the season, and while he was catching passing from Michael Vick, Miles caught most of his from Jon Kitna and Stephen McGee. Oh well, Miles made it and that's all that matters.

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Packers & Steelers To Meet In Super Bowl XLV

Finally I went 1.000 on my playoff picks! Unfortunately the 2-0 I put up today only serves to bring my overall playoff picks record to .500 at 5-5.

Anyway, as all straight men now know, the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers are set to do battle in Dallas, TX for Super Bowl XLV 2 weeks from today after defeating the Chicago Bears and New York Jets respectively.

As a Cowboys fan, I don't know how I feel about the prospect of the Steelers winning a 7th Super Bowl in my home stadium. Just doesn't feel right.

Oh well, congrats to both teams, and good luck to Jay Cutler as he attempts win to convince Chicago why they should hate him less than Steve Bartman all this offseason.

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The Winners & Losers Of Super Bowl XLIV

First off, congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. You won your first Super Bowl, but don't forget who 's better than you. (Week 15 highlights anyone??)

Anyway, I wanted to try something new, and I really liked the "winners/losers" thing Bill Simmons did in a column a few weeks back, so I stole it. Welp, here it is, the winners and losers of Super Bowl XLIV!

Winners: The Boost Mobile shuffle; the little black kid from the Doritos commercial; Joseph Addai; auto-tune, David Letterman, Oprah, and Jay Leno; casual Fridays; men without pants; Brett Favre in 2020, Warren Sapp jokes; little people (KISS commercial, Troy Polamalu commercial); Nickelodeon (they were showing "Malcolm In The Middle" during halftime and gave me something to watch); onside kicks; Sean Payton's balls; Garrett Hartly; eTrade babies; Tracy Porter; the Saints; the city of New Orleans.

Losers: People who came to Miami for Super Bowl weekend, but didn't have tickets to the game; Queen Latifah's singing performance; Emmitt Smith's coin toss; all Doritos commercial NOT starring that little black kid; Cars.com (Shouldn't Timothy Richman's infinite knowledge afford him whatever car he wants??); Kim Kardashian camera shots; the Super Bowl halftime show; the referee trying to explain why the 2-point conversion was good; Charles Barkley's rap skills; GoDaddy.com; anyone who only watched to see the commercials; Peyton Manning's legacy; Reggie Wayne; Haiti; running plays on 3rd down with about a minute left in the game when down 14; the Gatorade shower; the Miami Dolphins (they picked Dante Colpepper over Drew Brees a few years back); giving up on 16-0; resting starters; the Colts.

Have any to add?? Leave them in the comments!

(Side note: Special thanks to Adam Carolla for practically forcing me to pick the Saints.)

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NFL Winners & Losers: Super Bowl XLIV

Colts (16-2) vs. Saints (15-3)
Colts, Saints. Saints, Colts. Which way is the right way to go?? I don't know. And guess what?? I don't care. That's right, I said it, I don't care! Am I gonna watch the game?? Of course, but do I care who wins?? Not in the least bit.

Yes, that may sound like blasphemy to people who know me as a diehard football fan, but that's seriously how I feel about this year's game. Not only do I not have a dog in this race, but for me, this game suffers mightily from Venus-Serena disease.

If you're not familiar with the term, its when 2 likable entities are forced to play each other, but its so hard to choose between the 2 that you end up not caring who wins. Its like, you're happy for both, but it doesn't feel right rooting against either, so you don't root at all. That's never any good in sports. At all times we need a hero and a villain, a good guy and a bad guy. Super Bowl XLIV is deprived of this dynamic, and that's why I'm definitely not that psyched to watch.

At the end of the day, here's the deal: Do I really want to root against Peyton Manning?? The guy is one of, if not the most, likable people in sports today. On the other hand, do I want to cheer that the city of New Orleans is dealt another L?? All they've ever done was lose, so it'd be nice to see them get one.

I'm stuck! I can feel my interest level continuously dropping as we speak.

Screw it, I'm gonna take the Saints to win. Do I feel strongly about it?? No. Do I even have any real reasoning as to why I think they're going to win?? No. I'm gonna keep it funky with you, the main factor in my decision to go with the Saints is the fact that Adam Carolla bet on the Colts. If you're a fan of either he or Bill Simmons, you know what terrible luck he has gambling, so it only make sense to go opposite the Ace man if you have no no other way to go. That's all I got got. Saints winners, Colts losers.

Playoffs Record: 5-6 (.455)
Regular Season Record: 167-88 (.655)

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Common's Superbowl XLIV Gatorade Commercial

I have no real point in posting this video, I guess I'm trying to get myself into this game, but the last edition of NFL Winners & Losers for the season is coming a little later.

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I Told You

I'm not gonna lie, it was closer than I anticipated, but I told you the Steelers were gonna win. Great game. Great, great game. The NFL season truly went out with a bang tonight...and now I'm sad lol. Shout out to that boy Santonio "Eh, Wassup" Holmes straight outta Belle Glades taking home that MVP! Nine catches for 131 yards and the biggest touchdown of his life.

Since we're talking about the Super Bowl, how bad were the commercials?? I mean that was just a poor fuckin' job by everybody's creative departments lol. And the NFL needs to do better with their half time show. How about having someone with a hit this millennium.

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Either/Or: Super Bowl Edition

Just felt like doing this...

1) Who do you believe in: President Obama's Steelers pick or Lil Wayne's Cardinals pick?? (I promise you think is the first and last time you'll ever see these 2 names in the same sentence lol.)

Yeah I know I'm practically forcing you to pick the Steelers because I know not many of you wanna agree with Lil Wayne, but before you dismiss him remember he did successfully pick every game in the 2nd round. With that being said, I'm no dummy so I trust Barack's judgment (even though he only picked them because he and the owner are friends lol).

2) Which is more disrespectful: Phoenix's mayor and Cardinals mascot defiling a Terrible Towel or Pittsburgh's mayor throwing eggs at Cardinals mascot??

Throwing eggs is fucked up and all, but Cardinals fans don't love Big Red like Steelers fans love Terrible Towels

3) Biggest reason for the lack of interest in Super Bowl XLIII: Bad economy or the Arizona Cardinals??

Sorry Arizona, but I'm gonna have to go with the Cardinals. Nobody wants to see a fluke, 9-7 team win the Super Bowl.

4) Who's being slurped more right now: Lil Wayne or the Arizona Cardinals??

This is a close one! I gotta go with the Cards though because I have yet to see a poll where the majority doesn't think they'll win for some reason. Plus, even more Lil Wayne fell off when Prom Queen dropped lol.

5) Who has the better uniforms: Cardinals or Steelers??

I like AZ's color combination, but I think I'd rather rock a Steelers jersey.

6) Who'll have the tougher day: The ratings of everything else on TV during the Super Bowl or Mike Gandy??

If you don't know who Mike Gandy is, he's the O-lineman with the unfortunate task of blocking James Harrison. Yeah nobody is gonna be watching ATL for the hundredth time on BET or woman's college basketball, but this nigga Gandy doesn't stand a chance unless Harrison is carted off the field.

7) Who's more likely to fake an injury after dropping a perfectly thrown touchdown: Limas Sweed or Limas Sweed??

Still feel bad for that nigga lol.

8) Better odds: Edge James getting 100 yards or snow during the game??

I'll put it like this: There is NO chance Edge rushes for more than 40 yards.

9) Bigger waste of money: $3 million for a 30 second spot or 808s & Heartbreak??

I think this shit is a tie. I tried to listen to 808s & Heartbreak and it was so bad I started to feel bad for Kanye all over again. And $3M for a spot during a game featuring the Arizona Cardinals.

10) Better Super Bowl party food: Buffalo wings or nachos??

Aww man you gotta love those wings!

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NFL Winners & Losers: Super Bowl XLIII

Finally, finally, finally Super Bowl XLIII is upon us! The season seems like such a blurred dream from here. Fortunately none of that matters anymore and it all boils down to one question: Steelers or Cardinals??

Like I said the day after the conference championships, I'm rocking with the Steelers. Then it was because I just couldn't see how it would be physically possible for the Arizona Cardinals, of all teams, to beat them. Now, on the other hand, its because everyone is all of a sudden on the Cards bandwagon, completely stripping them of their biggest asset (outside of luck): Their "nobody believes in us" potential! How can they say nobody believes in them when everybody is picking them and talking about how great Warner is and how great Fitzgerald is?? And its true, they are great players, but it just so happens that Pittsburgh, as a team, is greater.

The regular season obviously doesn't matter anymore, but at no point in the season, if asked about a game between the Steelers and Cardinals, would anybody say Arizona had a shot. What's so different now?? Is it because its the Super Bowl?? The Cards can now hang with the best defense in the league all because they made it to the Super Bowl?? Get the fuck out of here with that! This is still the same team that fell apart after clinching a playoff berth. This is still the same team that went 9-7 in the worst division in football. This is still the same team that nearly lost to the Eagles after going into the half up 24-6. Now you're telling me everything is different?? No way!

These Cardinals are NOT the 2007 Giants (a defense first team that fought its way to the big game on the road) and the Steelers are NOT the 2007 Patriots (a highly overrated team that benefited from one of the NFL's easiest schedules). Hell, and even then hardly nobody thought the Giants stood a chance. Like I said before, most people are picking the Cards. I mean I know there is supposed to be parity in the league now and all, but I just find it really hard to believe this won't be a blow out in favor of Pittsburgh.

I'll finish this up with a short list of reasons the Arizona Cardinals will NOT win Super Bowl XLIII:

1) They are the Arizona Cardinals
2) Edge James is a good story, but there's no way he's getting more than 40 yards.
3) Too many people think they're going to win.
4) The game isn't in Arizona.
5) Kurt Warner is still 37.
6) Somebody named Mike Gandy is expected to block James Harrison.
7) James Harrison plays for the Steelers.
8) Their owner wears bowties. (I can't pull myself to root for bowties or mohawks.)
9) They've already won a Super Bowl by just reaching one.
10) THEY ARE THE ARIZONA CARDINALS!

And there you have it. Steelers winners, Cardinals losers.

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Giant Beat Down #1 Viewed Super Bowl

That's right, even more history was made when the Nielsen Media Research figures came out and showed that Super Bowl XLII garnered 97.5 million viewers. That's fuckin' huge! They say that's only 2nd to the series finale of M*A*S*H which had 106 million viewers back in 1983, but we all know the Super Bowl reigns supreme because I'm almost positive there was no M*A*S*H finale parties or viewings in sports bars so don't let those numbers fool you lol. Just think about how any given Super Bowl would blow that M*A*S*H finale up if everyone watched the game in their own home with their family lol. [FULL STORY]

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Best Super Bowl Commercials

At $2.7 million a pop for just a 30 second spot during the Super Bowl I was expecting a little bit more, but I guess these writer's strike is hurting everything on TV now lol.

1st Quarter

Started off pretty slow, but that Audi was fresh as hell!

2nd Quarter

First commercial of the night that actually made me laugh.

Tide-to-Go Superbowl Commercial, My Talking Stain Ad


"We make sandwich, I am meat." That's really the only reason this is here lol.

Bud Light Super Bowl Ad: Immigrants with Carlos Mencia


I loved this shit here lol.

T-Mobile Super Bowl: Barkley Adds Dwayne Wade to MyFaves


I saw this on ESPN Friday, but you can never get enough of Justin Timberlake getting hurt repeatedly for what he single-HANDedly did to the halftime show! That shit was fuckin' terrible lol. Plus, Tony Romo was in the commercial so you knew I was gonna post it lol.

Pepsi Stuff Super Bowl Commercial: Justin Timberlake


This was more gross than anything else lol. Ladies, when all else fails just rub some nut (and/or nuts) on your chest ;-) lmao.

Planters Nuts Super Bowl Commercial: Woman Attracts Men w/ Nuts


3rd Quarter

Like Nephew Tommy said this morning, "I wanna know how they got Shaq on that horse without breakin' its back" lol.

Glaceau Vitamin Water Superbowl Commercial: Shaq as Jockey


I dunno what it is about talking babies that always make for a good commercial lol.

eTrade Talking Baby Super Bowl Commercial: Baby Buys Stock


4th Quarter

Can't get enough of the baby like...that joke would be way too cliche lol.

eTrade Super Bowl Commercial: Talking Baby Rents a Clown


Will Ferrell is just hilarious! Can't wait for the movie!!

Bud Light Super Bowl Ad: Will Ferrell as Jackie Moon, Semi-Pro


How long do you think it will be before some white kid tries this and kills himself??? lol.

Amp Energy Super Bowl Commercial: Tow Truck Driver Jumper Cables


Post-Game

Perfect!

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18-1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a wild one, but I'm proud to say the Giants won the Super Bowl! I mean its nice for the Giants and they're fans and all that, but the reason I'm happy is because 1) they put out the Cowboys so to legitimize our lost they had to win the whole thing lol 2) I hate the Patriots 3) ...welp I guess that's it lol.

On another note, someone call ESPN and tell Keyshawn's bitch ass to take off that damn fake Gucci scarf lol.

Now, I'll leave you with Mercury Morris:

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This Is The Why The Giants WON'T Win Super Bowl XLII

I wasn't home most of yesterday and I missed this:



Here's what Tom Brady had to say:



Oh boy... I thought the Giants would at least have a chance, but now they just might get done like the Bills or Redskins earlier this season lol. Damn, why these niggas had to start coming out the mouth knowing damn well the Pats need shit like that to win. Oh well there's always next year lol.

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