Random News Shit: More NFL Mania Edition

1) Patriots STEAL Albert Haynesworth For 5th Round Pick In 2013!

Not even a 5th round pick in this draft, a 5th round in 2013! Oh, and did I mention the Redskins have already paid him the bulk of his contract, so New England will only be on the hook for $5.4 million? That is insane! How do the Patriots keep doing this?! Are they extreme couponing when they make deals or what? Something's gotta give.

2) Dolphins Trade For Reggie Bush
Oddly, there's still no word on what the Dolphins gave up, but it better not be anything higher than the 5th round pick the Pats just gave away to steal Albert Haynesworth. Either way, Reggie had to restructure his deal to make this worth and he's now getting $9.75 million over the next 2 years.

I talked to my Dolphins fan friend Tyler and he hates this move, but I think it's okay. I don't think Reggie is going to change into the unstoppable force Haynesworth is about to re-become up in New England, but he should give them something, especially if they insist on keeping the Wildcat offense. Besides, that's a reasonable price for Reggie, remember, he's only 26 years old.

3) Eagles Sign Jason Babin To A 5 Year Deal

No word on what they compensation is just yet, but this is a good deal for the Eagles...which unfortunately makes it a bad deal for the Cowboys. Oh well.

4) Chris Kluwe Sets His Price For Vikes #5 Jersey

Sounds like a good deal to me, Donovan should definitely take it.

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Random News Shit: NFL Headlines Edition

1) Andy Reid Names Michael Vick Eagles Starter
This move coming 2 days after Reid said Kevin Kolb would be the starter means one thing and one thing only: Reid's job is on the line. If Reid had job security, he would've went with Kevin Kolb and let him work through his issues. But since he needs to win now to keep his job, he can't afford to keep a player as talented as Mike Vick on the bench. That's just what it is.

That was my objective view as a football fan, here's how I really feel as a Cowboy fan: This blows!

Obviously Vick gives the Eagles the best chance to win, and with the Cowboys already 0-2, it makes our road to the playoffs even tougher. And on top of that, I want to see Mike Vick do well, and that's really why this blows. I mean, what the fuck?? I can't root for Philly, I'm a Dallas fan, but I do want Vick to succeed. I'm not torn in my allegiance, I'm 100% Cowboy, but this just sucks. Fuck!

*Readies pro Kevin Kolb chants for Sunday*

2) Braylon Edwards Arrested For DWI
What an idiot! I know it's been said 1,000 times already today, but Braylon, you live in New York GET A FUCKIN' CAB!

(Side note: If Madden really wants to get realistic, on Madden 12 they should delete that wack ass swagger rating and insert a character rating and suspensions. Guys with low character ratings end up with random suspensions (DWI, found with gun, club fight, domestic violence, and of course rape). Oh, and anybody could get suspended for taking performance enhancing drugs. That would be AWESOME! It gets no realer than that. Get on that EA.)

3) Reggie Bush Breaks A Leg
Man, 2010 sucks for Reggie Bush. Oh well, all I wanna know is why couldn't he have broke his leg a little closer to Thanksgiving?? I'm just saying.

4) Brandon Jacobs Fined For Helmet Toss
How many cameras are there in football stadiums these days?? Well how was this alleged helmet toss not caught by any of them?? You'd think the NFL would at least want to see what exactly happened before they issued a fine, but I guess not.

5) Redskins Cut Larry Johnson
The Redskins couldn't get any use out of Larry Johnson?? I'm shocked!

(Side note: I wonder when was the last time he talked to Jay-Z?? He was on the Roc for less time than Teairra Mari.)

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Random News Shit: NFL Headlines Edition

1) Reggie Bush Decides To Forfeit Heisman
I haven't really spoke on this whole story, but allow me a moment to sum my feelings on it up in one word: Bullshit!

This is why I can't support college athletics, especially football. In the history of NCAA rulings, has one ever fit the crime?? I'm serious, has it ever once?? And I know the NCAA didn't make him do this, but them and their retarded slave rules made it possible that a player can essentially be stripped of an award he earned on the field over an issue that has absolutely nothing to do with the game of football. I could see if Reggie was found to have done steroids, but he took money. What in the FUCK does that have to do with what he accomplished on the field in 2005?? Seriously, what?? Don't worry I'll wait.

2) Kris Jenkins Done For 2010 After Just 6 Plays
This sucks. I know that's not breaking news, but you just gotta hate to hear this (unless you're in the KKK).

As we all know, he hurt this same knee 6 games into last season (hmmm, 6 may be his lucky number), and at 31 years of age, it might be time to call it a career. Obviously 31 isn't old for a D-lineman, but damn, a torn ACL in the same knee, less than a year later?? That's tough. Besides, if he comes back for 2011, how long can the Jets expect him to play before tearing it again, 6 seconds?? Get it?? Nevermind.

3) Packers Place Ryan Grant On IR
Shit! This is an even bigger blow to the Packers than Kris Jenkins' injury is to thee Jets. I'm not sure who else Green Bay has in its backfield, but I hope dude is ready for primetime. Okay, that one was pretty obvious, but hey, it's true.

4) Eagles Under Investigation By NFLPA Over Concussions ...Then Left Alone
Yeah, I figured this was coming when I saw Stewart Bradley re-enter Sunday's Eagles-Packers game minutes after staggering off his feet after suffering a concussion. I watched this game up until halftime (when I stepped out to buy more Sierra Mist Cranberry and grab some pizza for the Cowboys game), and I had no idea Kevin Kolb even had a concussion in that 2nd quarter.

Oh well, it's not like it was the only botched decision by Andy Reid in that game.

(Side note: I love how the NFL is getting more serious about concussions, while simultaneously looking to increase player's workloads by going to 18 game seasons. I mean, because what better way to show concern over an issue than enhancing the likelihood of recurrence??)

5) Bob Sanders Hurt...As Usual
Good ol opt-injured Bobby S. tore a tendon in his biceps and is out indefinitely. The Colts are use to playing without him though, so I guess this isn't that big of a deal. Might be time for him to call it a career as well, but because of my "Bob Sanders is injured" story fatigue.

6) Broncos Trade For Laurence Maroney
You gotta feel like shit right now if you're Laurence Maroney. Not because you're leaving the Patriots, but that you're a running back going to the Broncos. They've run through like 4 or 5 already, and Laurence already missed the season opener due to injury, so now it's just a matter of time before he hits the IR.

Bad past few months for niggas named Laurence.

7) UF's Chris Rainey Faces Stalking Charge
I know this is NFL shit, but it is hilarious shit. I'll make this quick, but I'd be lying if I said I'd never pull a Chris Rainey and text somebody, "It's time to die, bitch." That shit is too funny! LMAO!

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