Random News Shit: NBA Doom & Gloom Edition

1) Orlando Adds Gilbert Arenas, Re-swaps Vince Carter For Hedo Turkoglu
Wow, wow, wow!

Now, before I give my opinion, let's go through all the trades: In the first trade, Orlando got Hedo Turkoglu, Jason Richardson, and Earl Clark, and Phoenix got Vince Carter, Marcin Gortat, Mikael Pietrus, a 2011 first-round pick, and cash consideration. The next trade with the Wizards was a straight up swap of Rashard Lewis for Gilbert Arenas.

The biggest winner from all these transactions: the Miami Heat (no Wall or Arenas for the Wizards tonight, plus the new-look Suns Thursday). The biggest losers: Steve Nash (obvious reasons).

Who is Orlando's GM? I don't think he's getting enough flack for trading for Vince, letting Hedo go, and then trading Vince for Hedo a year later. Hedo is due $10,215,850 for this season, Vince is due $17,522,375, so why didn't they just pay Hedo to begin with?? That was essentially a waste of the entire 09-10 season.

And then there's Gilbert Arenas. Can someone please explain to me which of Orlando's problems does he solve? Why not wait and see if Hedo coming back could revive Rashard's career? It's not like teams were beating down Washington's door to take on Gilbert's huge contract and 39% shooting. That trade would've been there in January or February.

I will give Orlando credit for bringing in Jason Richardson though. Can you believe he's only 29?? Seems like he's been around for like 12 years. Regardless, he's shooting 42% from 3 this season, so he's definitely an upgrade over Vince.

2) Yao Ming Done For The Season Again
When I heard this news, I felt horrible for Yao...then I read his comments on the subject:

"I haven't died. Right now I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken. What were you expecting, a funeral?"

LMAO! The niggas have finally corrupted Yao! He's still in Houston too, so let's just hope he doesn't get a grill and start sippin' sizzurp.

...On second thought, let's hope he does.

3) Blazers Give Brandon Roy 3 Games Off
They could give Roy 3 years off, and I'm not sure it'd make much of a difference. His knees are gone, and it's just a matter of time before his career is over. Very sad. Somebody get this man a beer and some fried chicken.

4) Joakim Noah Out 8-10 Weeks After Thumb Surgery
Tough break for the Bulls. They have more than enough pieces to get this through this though, so they'll be fine.

5) Rajon Rondo Sidelined 1-2 Weeks With Ankle Injury
Ultimately he's only gonna end up missing about 4 or 5 more games. Boston's next 5 games: Indiana, Philly, @Orlando, @Indiana, and @Detroit. Something tells me they're gonna be fine.

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Hyperizers - Don't Criticize (Hyperize)

Look at 'Shard, he actually has some flow! BAWSE says its because he's from Houston, but I say its because he moved to Florida. Follow me on this, he spit in a low voice which means one thing to me: He just started rapping! That means he learned in Florida where he's played the last few seasons. I win. Done and done!

Speaking of Rashard Lewis and the city of Houston, this whole arguments makes me think of how dumb the Rockets are. In the 1998 Draft they had THREE chances to take 'Shard, but opted for Michael Dickerson (LOL), Bryce Drew (LMAO), and Mirsad Türkcan (Who??)! Here's the rationale of their GM at the time: "Anytime you can pick 3 guys who won't be in the league 10 years from now over a hometown kid, you've got to do it." Yeah, hindsight is 20/20, but come on, Mirsad Türkcan?? Only the Clippers failed harder in that draft lol.

Anyway, to bring it back to sports and comedy, go read Bill Simmons' Athlete Funny Scale and figure out where this video ranks. I say 5.0.

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Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) Yankees Get First Win Over Red Sox In 2009
Well its about damn time! It took 9 attempts, but the Yanks finally got their first win over the Sox. Damn, why didn't I bet on this game??

2) Rashard Lewis Tests Positive, Gets 10 Game Suspension
Seems much worse than it actually is. Stern should reduce the sentence to 3-5 games.

3) Stallworth Sorry, Will Accept Goodell's Ruling
As if he had any other choice lol.

4) Cousin/Advisor: Crabtree Skip '09 Season
Problem number 1 with this situation: You have a cousin/advisor lol. You can have a cousin that give you advice, but once you give that cousin a job as an advisor you're crossed the line. I'll believe it when I hear it from Crabtree or his agent, but either way these rookies need to stop being bitches and sign their damn contracts! I can see Crabtree's career going down the tube already.

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FiyahMuZik.com's NBA Finals Preview & Pick

Welp, tonight is the night! Lakers vs. Magic. L.A. vs. Orlando. The Black Mamba vs. Superman 2.0. Kobe's puppet vs. Dwight's still-under-construction-puppet. Disneyland vs. Disney World. Shaq's first team vs. Shaq's second team. Adam Morrison vs. J.J. Redick! That's right, the 2009 NBA Finals is finally upon us! (Its about time too because its so fuckin' boring with no basketball on to watch at night. Do you know I actually sat and watched a baseball game the other night?? Yeah, its that boring.)

Anyway, my little playoff bracket was fucked by Nike, Vitamin Water, and ESPN's insistence on crowning LeBron king before the Eastern Conference Finals even started. That's okay though, because this match up should be VERY interesting.

With that being said, I want to go ahead and give a warning to all Lakers fans and the general public who are automatically assuming this will be a cake walk now that LeBron isn't around. While the Lakers beat the Cavs both times they played during the regular season (both times by double digits, once when Kobe dislocated his finger and once when Kobe was sick and LeBron was coming off his 50 point triple-double against the Knicks), they also lost to the Magic both times they played (the first time Kobe hit a then season high 41, and the second time Kobe had a triple-double). Let me simplify that for you: Laker 2-0 vs. Cavs, Lakers 0-2 vs. Magic. And, as was proven by the Magic's continued ownership of the Cavs, the regular season does matter. Go ahead and process that.

Now of course there's a bit of a difference between now and then: 1) the Lakers had a healthy Andrew Bynum 2) the Magic had a healthy Jameer Nelson. Lakers faithful can find solace in the fact that Orlando needed every bit of Nelson's 27, 4, and 5 from the first meeting (11-16 from the field, 4-6 from three) and 28, 6, and 8 in from the second meeting (9-18 from the field, 3-6 from three) to take them out, seeing that if Nelson does play he'll be nowhere near that level. BUT at the same time, if Andrew Bynum got bodied by Dwight Howard on a healthy knee (including a 25 point, 20 rebound, 3 block in the second match-up), what can you expect with him playing on a sore knee?? Look for Dwight to be dominant in the paint.

The X-factor in this whole series will be Lamar Odom and what he decides to bring to the table. If the Lakers can get 18, 10, and 6 from him per game off the bench then they should be sitting pretty. If he doesn't show up and gives them 4, 5, and 2 then the Lakers will be in trouble. Odom will also need to show up on the defensive end. He and Trevor Ariza are better match-ups for Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis than Anderson Varejao and Delonte West (seeing that LeBron wanted no part of guarding either) were in the Magic-Cavs series. Hedo and 'Shard won't have as many wide open looks with faster defenders on them... that is, if Odom decides to show up.

At the end of the day, I just don't see Kobe letting another ring pass him by like in his last 2 trips to the Finals. The Magic have already won by just reaching the Finals, but its definitely Kobe's to lose. I'm gonna go with Lakers in 6. (Side note: What's up with people predicting Magic in 7?? Does anyone actually think the Magic would be capable of going into the Staples Center for a game 7 against Kobe and win?? You've GOT to be joking.)

Now, I'll leave you with Kobe Bryant's blatant disrespect of Dwight Howard's existence from wight's rookie year in 2004.

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