Calvin Johnson Covers Madden 13

Good! That's what he gets for what he and his team did to my Cowboys last season.

Oh, and sorry about your season-ending injury in advance, Cal.

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2011 NFL Awards Handed Out

Maybe I'm tripping, but I don't recall the NFL ever giving out their awards in one plop on Super Bowl Eve like this before. Oh well, enjoy:

1) Aaron Rodgers Wins MVP In A Landslide
Votes for Aaron Rodgers: 48
Votes for Drew Brees: 2

Damn.

2) Drew Brees Wins Offsensive Player Of The Year

Aaron Rodgers bust Drew Brees' ass in the MVP voting, but Brees flipped it on him in the O.P.O.T.Y., winning 43-7. I'm totally fine with both of these first 2 awards.

3) Terrell Suggs Wins Defensive Player Of The Year
With 21 votes, T-Sizzle of Ball So Hard University beats out Jared Allen and his 14 votes (and 22 sacks) for D.P.O.T.Y. (which sadly could double as an acronym for an AVN Award for double penetration). I'm not mad at that, but I am mad that DeMarcus Ware didn't get a single vote. I guess 19.5 sacks just doesn't get you as far as it once did.

4) Cam Newton & Von Miller Win Rookie Of The Year Awards
Surprise! Cilla Cam Newton beats out Andy Dalton 47-3 and Von Miller beats out Aldon Smith 39-11. There's really nothing else to say because nobody should be surprised by these results at all.

5) Jim Harbaugh Wins Coach Of The Year
I'm starting to figure out why the NFL decided to give out all these awards at once because not of them are really even close. Harbaugh got 45 votes and Mike McCarthy and John Fox split the remaining 5.

6) Matt Stafford Wins Comeback Player Of The Year
With 21 votes Matt Stafford takes this one home, and rightfully so for him just staying healthy a full season. I am a little surprised Alex Smith didn't get more than 7 votes though.

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Cam Newton Goes #1 & Other NFL Draft Ish

Hide ya hoes, hide ya wives Carolina, Cam Newton is coming to town! And that especially going out to you brothas out there with white girls because there's something about Cam that just screams "I love white women!" It's all good, gotta get it how you live.

As far as the football side of things go, I think it was a good pick. You need a quarterback and butts in seats and that's exactly what Cam brings. I think he'll be find as long as they don't try to change him too much and just let him play his game.

Before we talk about everybody else, lets talk about the Cowboys pick of Tyron Smith. I'm happy with it. Yes, I was hoping Patrick Peterson would continue to fall to my 'Boys (FUCK the Cardinals!), and yes, we already have a left tackle, but regardless of who plays right or left, I'm glad we addressed our needs this year. I love the guys on our O-line, but they're getting up there age wise.

Tomorrow we have the 8th pick of the 2nd round (or the 40th overall) and I'm hoping for UM's CB Brandon Harris. Of course since I just said that, he'll be off the board first, but that's who I have my sights set on next.

Anyway, the biggest surprised of the draft (to me) was obviously Nick Fairley falling all the way down to 13th. This is a guy people were talking about going #1 overall back in February, that's insane. And now he's teamed up with Ndamukong Suh in Detroit? Man, it's about to be a problem! The biggest surprise to everyone else was the Titans taking Jake Locker at #7. I didn't see it coming either, but damn, Nick Fairley was the 13th overall pick! That's crazy.

The biggest steal of the draft was EASILY Mark Ingram at #28 by the Saints. The best running back in the draft by didn't go until 28 overall. That's just weird, but it was a damn good move by the Saints. That should pay off for them immediately.

The last thing I wanted to speak about was Julio Jones. Atlanta traded up to get Julio with the 6th pick, but fuck all that, did you see this nigga's hair? Buddy had a ghetto mullet, fade in the front, dreads in the back. I never seen that shit in my life! I'm seriously considering throwing him in the 2011 L.A.M.E. Awards for "Lamest Hair (Male)." That seems very necessary right now. More on that at a later date.

(Draft side note: I'm so happy everybody booed the fuck out of Roger Goodell at the beginning, that was fucking AWESOME! I hope that was a really real realization that he and the owners loss and that they need to take that L and move on.)

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Cam Newton Wins Heisman

Cam Newton won the Heisman trophy, as we all knew he would, but unfortunately the real story is if/when he has to return it. I hope the slave master NCAA and Heisman Trust doesn't do Cilla Cam like they did Reggie Bush, but who knows, you know you can't trust ol' massa.

(Side note: I love Tony Romo, but if Kellen Moore starts to slip in the draft, I wouldn't mind if Jerry Jones went and saved him. Just putting it out there.)

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