I wish I would've known this existed back when that whole Manning/Broncos/Tebow/Jets thing was going down, but oh well, this shit is still hilarious. My favorite part is when they mention Mark Sanchez and bust out laughing lol.
Showing posts with label Peyton Manning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peyton Manning. Show all posts
April 06, 2012
Satan & Jesus Discuss Peyton Manning
March 21, 2012
Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition Pt. 3
Anyway, Peyton's deal is for 5 years and worth $96 million. Does anyone actually think Peyton has 5 years left in the NFL?
What?! I totally can't believe there's a market for a quarterback who took a 1-4 team to the playoffs and won a playoff game.
The more I hear everyone say the Jaguars should get Tim Tebow, the more I'm positive there's no way the Jags will get Tim Tebow. If the Broncos are interested in trying to reverse some of the bad karma they've gained, asking Tebow where he'd like to go would probably help.
3) Hines Ward Retires
Damn, I guess he really was serious about not wanting to play for anybody but the Steelers.
The Steelers might be in for a little bad karma themselves because they definitely did Hines dirty. There's no loyalty in this sports shit, which is why I say go get the money if you have the opportunity and fuck everybody who talks about players should want to win championships blah, blah, blah.
Alex knows damn well his ass wasn't going anywhere. Try to put together back-to-back competent seasons before you try your luck in the free agent market.
5) Eagles Land DeMeco Ryans From Texans For 4th Round Pick
FUCK!
What do you do when you get shunned by a legendary old QB who missed the 2011 season due to injury? Well if you're the Dolphins, you sign an average old QB who missed the 2011 season due to injury...and the fact nobody wanted him. Awesome.
You mean to tell me fans weren't excited about getting rejected by everyone from Peyton Manning to Matt Flynn and the eventual David Garrard signing?? That I just can't believe.
8) Jaguars Sign Aaron Ross
He's never really done much damage to the Cowboys, but I guess this is a positive move for my Boys.
March 19, 2012
Peyton Picks Broncos + Top 5 Reasons It Won't Work
"I bet Jesus didn't tell you I was coming to take your job in a couple years." --Peyton Manning
I can't believe it, Peyton Manning has willingly decided to be a Denver Bronco! Sure, they have some pieces, but is this a better situation than he's shunning in San Francisco, Tennessee, or Arizona? I guess we'll have to wait and see, but without further ado, the top 5 reason Peyton Manning won't work in Denver:
5. No dome
From the beginning, I thought Peyton Manning would choose to play for the Arizona Cardinals for one reason and one reason only: They play in a dome. Not to take away from the greatness of Peyton, but for 8 games a year, every year he played in a dome, and obviously Mile High is dome-less.
(Note: The only time Peyton has ever loss in Denver was in 2005 in the last game of the season when he only threw 2 passes and sat out the rest of the game.)
4. Cold weather city
Not only do the Broncos not play indoors, but it gets old as balls in Denver. Will Peyton's fused neck hold up under those weather conditions? And that's not to mention that he has been known to struggle (for Peyton Manning standards at least) playing outdoors in the cold.
3. They play the Chargers twice a year
Yes, the Broncos are most likely going to win the terrible, terrible AFC West every year Peyton is under center, but don't forget that the only team that has owned him more than the Patriots is the Chargers, and now he has to face them twice a year.
2. Too much bad karma
I'm sure most Denver fans will welcome Manning with open arms, but why would the good Lord allow them to win a Super Bowl when they've treated Tim Tebow the way they have? It's no military secret that John Elway and John Fox never wanted Tebow, and now they finally have an excuse to run him out of town. That alone is enough to saddle you with more bad karma than an organization needs.
(Side note: ESPN is talking a lot about no teams potentially being interested in Tebow besides the Jaguars, but I could think of a few that could use his services, starting with the Miami Dolphins. Yes, there organization stinks, which is likely why no one wants to sign there, but they don't really have a QB and they've been a run first team for awhile now (even though Tony Sparano and his wildcat offense is gone). The Jets could possibly have some interest because their QB sucks, they're a run first team, and Tony Sparano is the offensive coordinator. Lastly, I think the Patriots would be interested in Tebow. Of course he wouldn't start, but Josh McDaniels (the guy who drafted Tebow) is the offensive coordinator there, so you can't rule it out.)
1. The Denver Broncos suck!
I guess Peyton didn't factor in the fact that the Broncos have an average roster at best. Tebow detractors like to point the defense as the reason Denver won all those games last year and made it to the playoffs, but wasn't that the same defense that was on the field when they started the season 1-4 Pre-Tebow? Wasn't that the same defense that Tom Brady threw 5 touchdowns on in the first half in the playoffs?
And don't even get me started on their offense. They have a couple nice young receivers in Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker, but what else? Are they gonna rush 30 year-old Willis McGahee into the ground again? Can they rely on Knowshon Moreno to not get hurt for once? Who's the tight end? The offensive line couldn't even keep Tim Tebow upright against New England's garbage ass defense, now they're going to keep Peyton Manning from taking a career-ending hit? Good luck with that.
SOURCE
March 06, 2012
Colts To Release Peyton Manning
So who will it be? The Redskins? (They've been known to pay big money for possibly washed up superstars.) The Dolphins? (They're still looking for a replacement for Dan Marino.) The Cardinals? (You know they'd cut Kevin Kolb in a second to possibly re-live the Kurt Warner era.) The Titans? (He did go to college in Tennessee.) The Jets? (Talk about taking the rivalry with the Pats to the next level!)
Well, whichever team he chooses, I just hope he will not only be able to come back and play, but be effective as well.
SOURCE
February 02, 2012
Peyton Manning Medically Cleared To Resume Playing
Either way this is great news for the Jets, Redskins, Dolphins, or whoever Peyton will be playing for next season.
August 29, 2011
Random News Shit: It's Almost Here Edition
Ain't America something? Where else can you go from being a $100 million man to a broke social pariah in prison back to a $100 million man within 5 years? Oh yeah, no where.
These types of things don't happen often to ex-con, so I really think this is something to be celebrated. It's a shame I'm gonna have to root against him so vigorously this year.
This is good I guess, but he's still not playing in the opener if you ask me. Have you seen Peyton lately? He looks like Joe Decamillis after the Cowboys' indoor practice facility collapse in 2009. And that's not joke, his neck really is protruding like Joe D's. Now I'm obviously no doctor, but that doesn't seem like an ideal state to play football in. I don't expect shit from the Colts this year.
3) Cowboys Cut Andre Gurode
This is tough. I mean real tough (especially since his replacement, Phil Costa, is currently injured), but I guess it had to be done. I'm not sure why we waited until he was healthy and Costa was hurt to make the move (since it was clear Costa was probably gonna end up starting anyway), but you can't question Jerry I suppose.
Personally, I think as long as Romo, Miles, Dez, Witten, D-Ware, Ratliff, and the secondary stay healthy we should be fine regardless. Of course you can't tell that to fuck niggas like Jean-Jacques Taylor, who thinks we don't have a shot at the playoffs and will win 8 games tops, but oh well, I like being under the radar. It worked in '09.
4) Cedric Benson Sentenced To 20 Days In Jail
Yeah, the sentence will start when the Bengals go on their bye week, but it won't really matter because the Bengals will suck heavily this season.
July 30, 2011
Random News Shit: You Already Know Edition
2) Peyton Manning Signs 5-Yr/$90M Deal To Stay In Indy
It's funny, Peyton Manning takes less money and he's called the ultimate teammate, but when LeBron took less money to go to Miami last year he become a unqualified villain. And yeah, LeBron changed teams, but the fact still remains that he took less money. I'm not saying it's racism, but I am saying it's funny.
First they signed Roy Williams, then Sam Hurd, and now Marion Barber. I wouldn't be surprised if they were on the phone with Leonard Davis and Marc Colombo as we speak.
I'm not knocking the Bears though, I actually think these are 3 very good signing. Roy Williams get to play for the man who made him a Pro Bowler once upon a time in Mike Martz, Sam Hurd finally gets to prove he's not just a awesome special teams player, and the Barbarian gets to prove he's not done yet. Again, good signings.
I'm not gonna lie, this one actually hurt me more than the Nnamdi signing and I may or may not be starting to get worried...
Hmmmm, Atlanta, huh? Interesting choice for him.
Now I know he's dating LaStarya, but something just seems suspect about this dude. I don't know what it is, but the nipple rings don't help.
6) Nate Clements Agrees With Bengals
Damn, he knows the Bengals are gonna suck this year, right? He didn't steal enough money from the 49ers to get to the point where he wouldn't have to make a money grab on a bad team? I guess not.
7) Broncos Sign Willis McGahee
I'm not sure why they needed McGahee when they already have Knowshon Moreno and LenDale White under contract, but to each his own I guess.
January 08, 2011
Upset Saturday
I don't even know what to say, I'm completely stunned by today's results. Both of last year's Super Bowl teams out of the playoffs on the first day. Insanity! Matt Hasselbeck outplayed Drew Brees! Mark Sanchez beat Peyton Manning! Birds fell from the sky! Fish died! The world is coming to an end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But you can't blame those games squarely on Drew Brees and Peyton Manning, they didn't get much help from their coaches. Sean Payton finally outsmarted himself. How do you go for it on 4th down on your own 38, but don't go for it on 4th and 2 inside the Seahawks' 3?? Then they're the awful play call on the 2-point conversion where they tried to rush straight up the middle with...DeShawn Wynn! DeShawn Wynn?!?! The guy hadn't gotten a carry all game, but you put the ball in his hand at that critical moment?? C'mon Sean.
Oh, and don't even get me started on that sad sack Julius Jones. Yeah, he rushed for 2 TDs, so that makes his stat line look nice, but if you actually watched the game, you would've saw he was awful. He turned the ball over twice! Once on a fumble, and the other by just sucking and tripping over his own man on 4th and inches.
Then there's the defense. Roman Harper got burned more times than a bitch smoking crack with Rick James. That whole secondary had Matt Hasselbeck out there looking like...well, Matt Hasselbeck, just circa '05.
But you gotta give the Seahawks credit, it a certain point, you could really see who wanted it more (like N.O.'s poor attempts at tackling on that 67-yard run by Marshawn Lynch). They didn't just luck into a victory, they went out and took.
Now, the Colts. What in the fuck was Jim Caldwell out there doing?? He started the game by burning a timeout on a challenge that was clear as day he wasn't going to win. And speaking of timeouts, what in the fuck was he thinking when he called that one with 29 seconds left in the game?? I know you're opponent was Mark Sanchez and not Tom Brady, but why stop the clock and give him extra time to prepare when you don't have to?? Next play: 18 yard pass to Braylon Edwards. Game over.
What was Caldwell's fantasy there?? Did he think the Colts were gonna get the ball back and lead a touchdown drive after the game was over?? The Jets only had one timeout, all they were gonna do was run the ball and try to get into better field position for a Nick Folk field goal. But instead of having their shaky kicker attempt one from 50-plus, Caldwell made it possibly for a chip shot 32-yarder.
What a bad day for Jim Caldwell to finally show us he was indeed alive. Just let Peyton coach the damn team. Although Caldwell's poor use of timeouts allowed Jason Whitlock to call him Jim "Chris Webber" Caldwell (or C-Well), in reference to Chris Webber's infamous timeout misuse in the 1993 National Championship game. That shit had me rollin'!
But with that said, I'm happy for Rex Ryan. Everyone in the media talks shit about him because he's confident in himself and his team, but let's not forgot that he is 3-1 in the playoffs as a head coach.
It is a shame Rex had to shit on Tom Brady the other day and now his Jets don't stand a chance against the Pats next Sunday. Damn.
February 07, 2010
The Winners & Losers Of Super Bowl XLIV
Anyway, I wanted to try something new, and I really liked the "winners/losers" thing Bill Simmons did in a column a few weeks back, so I stole it. Welp, here it is, the winners and losers of Super Bowl XLIV!
Winners: The Boost Mobile shuffle; the little black kid from the Doritos commercial; Joseph Addai; auto-tune, David Letterman, Oprah, and Jay Leno; casual Fridays; men without pants; Brett Favre in 2020, Warren Sapp jokes; little people (KISS commercial, Troy Polamalu commercial); Nickelodeon (they were showing "Malcolm In The Middle" during halftime and gave me something to watch); onside kicks; Sean Payton's balls; Garrett Hartly; eTrade babies; Tracy Porter; the Saints; the city of New Orleans.
Losers: People who came to Miami for Super Bowl weekend, but didn't have tickets to the game; Queen Latifah's singing performance; Emmitt Smith's coin toss; all Doritos commercial NOT starring that little black kid; Cars.com (Shouldn't Timothy Richman's infinite knowledge afford him whatever car he wants??); Kim Kardashian camera shots; the Super Bowl halftime show; the referee trying to explain why the 2-point conversion was good; Charles Barkley's rap skills; GoDaddy.com; anyone who only watched to see the commercials; Peyton Manning's legacy; Reggie Wayne; Haiti; running plays on 3rd down with about a minute left in the game when down 14; the Gatorade shower; the Miami Dolphins (they picked Dante Colpepper over Drew Brees a few years back); giving up on 16-0; resting starters; the Colts.
Have any to add?? Leave them in the comments!
(Side note: Special thanks to Adam Carolla for practically forcing me to pick the Saints.)
May 27, 2009
Madden NFL 10 Top Rated Players
Peyton Manning, Larry Fitzgerald, Nnamdi Asomugha, Albert Haynesworth, Ed Reed, and Troy Polamalu. That's it, that's the list.
SOURCE
January 02, 2009
Peyton Wins 3rd MVP
Judging by the final vote (32 for Peyton, 4 for the next closest), it looks like media-types are back on Peyton's dick only one year after Tom Brady was crowned the best quarterback of all-time following his one great statistical season. That's the great thing about Manning winning his 3rd MVP because unlike Brett Favre, he's not fawned over by the media and was easily replace as the best QB in the league only one year after winning a Super Bowl. I mean yeah he has awesome commercials, but last year when everybody in the media was shitting on him and beating their meat to Brady-to-Moss highlights, nobody came to Manning's defense (besides me) like they would have if it was Favre. You can't say anything bad about Favre or overlook him without getting crucified. Oh well whatever lol.
SOURCE
FiyahMuZik.com's Year-End NFL Awards
MVP: Peyton Manning, IND
Who had the Colts finishing the season 12-4 after starting out 3-4?? Oh yeah, nobody! The big difference was clearly an unhealthy Peyton Manning vs. a healthy Peyton Manning. Give the man his 3rd MVP please.
Runner Up: Adrian Peterson, MIN
Offensive Player Of The Year: Drew Brees, N.O.
This was easy, he become only the 2nd player in history to throw for over 5,000 yards.
Runner Up: Kurt Warner, ARI
Defensive Player Of The Year: DeMarcus Ware, DAL
He didn't get enough sacks to beat Strahan's single season record, but 20 sacks in a season is still a remarkable feat. Add 6 forced fumbles to that and you've got your defensive MVP.
Runner Up: James Harrison, PIT
Rookie Of The Year: Matt Ryan, ATL
Yeah he had Michael Turner to take some of the heat off, but he still had an exceptional rookie campaign. He threw for 3440 yards, and 16 touchdowns which is outstanding for a rookie.
Runner Up: Matt Forte, CHI
Coach Of The Year: Tony Sparono, MIA
Even though the Dolphins had a cupcake schedule, going from 1-15 to 11-5 is nothing to sneeze at. Plus, you can add in how much less explosive Dallas' offensive was without him and you can't make an argument for anyone else.
Runner Up: Jeff Fisher, TEN
Comeback Player Of The Year: Antonio Bryant, TAM
I was gonna give Antonio Runner Up, but once I saw how little consideration he got in the actual voting that Chad Pennington won, I knew I had to give it to him. Put it like this: Antonio Bryant is the ONLY player who's stats are +100% better than they were in 2007. You wanna know how that's possible?? Because in 2007 he wasn't even in the league! He went from not even being in the league to 1,248 receiving.
Runner Up: Joey Porter, MIA
Biggest Surprise: Miami Dolphins
No one had the Dolphins going 11-5 and being in the playoffs after 2007. Fuck you, you're a lying piece of shit if you say you did.
Runner Up: Atlanta Falcons
Biggest Disappointment: Jacksonville Jaguars
So much promise, so little result.
Runner Up: New York Jets
Related:
FiyahMuZik.com Midseason Awards
December 19, 2008
11th Win Puts Colts In
With tonight's win against Jacksonville, the Colts earn a playoff berth and are guaranteed the #5 seed in the playoffs with their 8th win in a row (yes, they were 3-4 once upon a time, remember?? lol). That means they'll probably play the Broncos (if the Broncos can beat the Bills and Chargers...you never know with them) on wild card weekend so you can pretty much book their ticket to the next round lol.
It was a pretty tight game tonight, but I knew the Colts would pull it off because Peyton Manning was on FIRE! He completed all 13 of his passes in the first half and got to 17 before throwing a single incompletion. Peyton finished an amazing 29/34 with 3 TDs for 364 yards which was good for a 140.7 passer rating. I think he's staring down his 3rd MVP trophy right now. AFC teams, beware come January.
SOURCE
October 19, 2007
Tom Brady Is Not And Will Not Be Greatest QB Of All-Time
Sup yall? I'm back! I wrote this shit on Monday and I been waiting to post it ever since so here it is lol:
Wassup with this whole 'Brady might be the best quarterback of all-time' talk??? I was watching ESPN maybe an hour or so before I started writing What About Us?? and had heard it like 3-4 times! That's crazy! I mean besides the Marinos, Farves, and Elways of the world, who are already up there, lets not forgot about a man who still has a lot of football left to play, Peyton Manning.
Now, you could also say Manning has better receivers, but seriously who were Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, and Dallas Clark B.P. (Before Peyton)??? Exactly! And I might be alone with this next thought, but from my prospective, if you swap Brady with nearly any other starting QB in the NFL they'll have the same success on that team, in that system. Who wouldn't thrive on the Patriots?? Even aside from having a superior receiving corps, just look at the amount of time Brady has to make decisions. That Offensive line is phenomenal!
I don't know, maybe its because Tom Brady has those 3 Super Bowl rings and Manning only has one, but then if that's the case then Troy Aikman needs some G.O.A.T. consideration since he also has 3 rings playing on a great team.
Head-to-head, their numbers don't even compare. To Brady's credit, Manning has played 3 more seasons than him, but take away ANY 3 seasons of Manning's and he's STILL better (I should know I did the math).Just looking at passing yardage, if you take away Manning's top 3 season throwing the ball and compare that to Brady's as a starter, Manning still has 6,600 more yards than Brady. When it comes to throwing TDs, again if you take away Manning's 3 best seasons throwing them (49, 33, 31) he STILL has 4 more than Brady (168) does in his career. Without Manning's 3 best seasons, in virtually every passing categories, its the same! That goes for completion percentage, yards per game, passer rating, sacks, and yards lost on a sack in which Manning is better even with his 3 highest yards lost seasons added. In fact, Brady is only better than Manning in one statistical category which is interceptions where Brady only has 80 in his career and Manning has 119 without his 3 lowest seasons intercepted.
If Brady's stats don't even compare to the best in the game with his best seasons not included, then how could you say, at 30, he even has a chance at being the G.O.A.T. over the Montanas, Staubachs, and Namaths of the world?? Especially when they say Dante Culpepper is finished at 30! Yeah, I said it Dante F. Culpepper! Of course he has injuries, but his numbers are more comparable to Brady than Brady's are to Manning. In 88 career games (including the 3 he's played this season), Culpepper has 21,514 passing yards, 140 passing TDs, 7.7 YPG average, 64.1 completion percentage, 91 INTs, 257 sacks for 1,417 yards lost, and a QB rating of 90.5. In 102 career games, Brady has 23,335 passing yards, 168 passing TDs, 7.1 YPG ave, 62.5 completion percentage, 80 INTs, 188 sacks for 1,184 yards lost, and a QB rating of 90.9. No HUGE difference there, and certainly more close than in comparison to Manning.
Honestly, Brady is a consistent QB on a great team, that's about it. At the end of the day, that's all I'm trying to say. Brady is real good, but Manning is great.
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