Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition

1) Venus Survives Opening Round Scare After Knee Injury
There was a bet going on Streak For The Cash about how many total games would be played in Venus' match with Vera Dushevina. Your 2 options were as follows: 15 games or fewer OR 16 games or more. Thirty-four games were played.

I wanted her to go over 16, but damn! It was cool at first because I was winning, but then my girl V was really in danger of losing. It was crazy! BUT she did survive though I'm not sure how much further she can go with that bad knee.

2) Ricky Rubio Agrees To... Stay In Spain
I would comment on this, but I can't say it any better than Bill Simmons did last night so without any further ado, take the mic Sports Guy:

"So Minny traded [Randy] Foye & [Mike] Miller for $18 mill of bad contracts + the right to negotiate with Rubio 2 summers from now? Savvy!"

"ESPN's Chris Sheridan is reporting that Isiah Thomas just called David Kahn to congratulate him on his wheeling and dealing."

Questions for D. Kahn's press conference: "On the bright side, it must have been nice to visit Spain a few times, right?"

Question for David Kahn's press conference: "Do you think the next Minnesota GM will be able to sign Rubio in 2011?"

Well said Mr. Simmons, well said.

3) Osi Umenyiora Gets Missing
Alright Bill Sheridan! Up high baby! Sheridan is a much better fit for my Cowboys than Steve Spagnuolo ever was. Hell, I hope he keep alienating his top defensive players. Is it too early to join his fan club because I'm ready now?

4) Tom Brady's Shoulder Okay, Plans To Play In MNF Opener
A collective sigh of relief could be heard coming from all the white NFL analysts at ESPN headquarters in Bristol, CT when this news broke.

5) Pacman Signs 1-Year Deal To Play In CFL
Well really, what other choice did he have?? Nobody in the NFL was gonna sign this guy so it was either this or that new league that's out that I already forgot the name of lol.

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Cowboys Release Pacman

Jerry Jones must have finally gotten a hold of my list of the top 10 Cowboys that should to be shown the door because #2 on that list, Adam "Pacman" Jones, just got released today. This is probably the last we hear of Pac in any football related news because if Dallas doesn't want the risk anymore, you know anybody else does. Then again, maybe Al Davis will give him an outrageous amount of money unwarranted by his talent level to join the Raiders like he did with Javon Walker.

Even though I cheerleaded his addition last offseason, I'm obviously glad to see him gone. He's an idiot and he didn't help the team out much at all. Good job Jerry. Next on the list is Jason Garrett who also interviewed for the Lions job Monday so maybe we can dump him and his wack 2008 play calling there.

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Pacman Suspended At Least 4 Games

With all the players we've lost this season I almost forgot about Pacman's dumb ass getting into a fight with his own bodyguard last week. Today he was suspended indefinitely by dictator Goodell BUT he'll make his final decision on the length after our Nov. 16th game at the Redskins. That's at least 4 games right there meaning he won't even be around when Romo returns.

Dammit Pacman, you really fucked us this time! I'm talking sandpaper condom here! Hopefully we can get T-New back some time soon, but he just had surgery for his sports hernia so he probably won't be back until the last quarter of the season, if not the playoffs. Now all we have is 1-year CB Alan Ball and rookies Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick.

Welp, I guess we'll have to wait and see if all this will make or break us. I doubt we'll "implode" like Usi Omenyiora said we would when he got his ass handed to him by Skip Bayless on 1st & 10 this morning (side note: First Take, please never have this nigga back, he's a terrible analyst and debater). I'm gonna stay positive and pray this all brings us character and not more division. Damn you Pacman, damn you!

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Big Money For T.O.; Pacman Is Back...Kinda; Bad Day For All 9 Of Travis Henry's BMs

That's right nigga my boy T.O. just signed a 4 year extension worth $34 milli! Hey he earned and hopefully it'll motivate him to help us bring that Lombardi trophy to Dallas. I'm so happy! lol.

In other Cowboys news, Pacman was partially reinstated today by dictator Goodell so that's a start. They say he could be fully reinstated by September 1st so I've got my fingers crossed lol.

AND in other NFL news, Travis Henry was cut by the Broncos today. Some might remember Trav for being being a baller on the field, but most of us remember him as the nigga with 9 kids by 9 different women! lol. Its always weird when you have 2 or more kids that are the same age and in the same grade that AREN'T twins lol.

Anyway, hopefully he can get back on somewhere because you know this nigga is broke owing all that child support. Stay strapped fellas lol.

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Cowboys agree on deal to acquire Pacman from Titans

Remember that shit I wrote yesterday about it not looking good for Pacman or Ocho Cinco to be joining the Cowboys?? Well throw that shit out because we just landed one of them! That's right, Pacman is coming to Dallas! I'm so happy right now lol.

We had to give up a 4th round pick and potentially another pick in next year's depending on how much Pac plays, but its all good I think its well worth it. Remember what the Pats got for a 4th rounder last year?? Exactly! lol.

Still no word on Chad, but this is a great start! Oh yeah, and word on the street is that the Dolphins are looking to trade Jason Taylor for a 1st rounder so maybe we can team him and Zach Thomas back up in the Big D! Aww man I'm so happy right now lol.

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Its Not Looking Good For Ocho Or Pac

With the new shit that popped up in Pacman's Las Vegas case the trade talks are "stuck in neutral" according to ESPN.com. That sucks ass! We NEED to get that trade done since we let DeAngelo Hall fly right over our heads and into Al Davis' old ass lap. [FULL STORY]

As far as Chad Johnson goes, the Redskins made the Bengals an over of the 21st overall pick in this year's draft and 3rd rounder that could turn into a 1st rounder in the 2009 draft...and they turned it down! That's a bit of a double edged sword because while its good the Redskins weren't able to get him, its also bad that Cincy is willing to turn down such a sweet deal. On top of that, they also said when the 'Boys and Eagles inquired about him they were told he was not up for trade. [FULL STORY]

I'll remain optimistic anyway, but we need to get one of these deals done, if not both.

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The Titans Need To Stop Acting Like Hoes!

Somebody tell me why the fuckin' Tennessee Titans are trying to up the price tag on Pacman Jones, a suspended player they already said they didn't want??? These bitches want two 4th round picks (one for this year and one for the next) for the rights to Pac. That is straight up bullshit!

Lets take some time out to let the Titans listen to all the other trade offers out there for Pacman.

(crickets)

Still nothing??? Exactly! What the fuck is the hold up?? We're being generous by offering a 4th rounder because that's what the Pats used to get Randy Moss last year and you're not gonna tell me Pacman is a bigger impact player than Randy whether he spent last year suspended or not. Just take the damn 4th rounder and be done with it before you don't get shit and have to end up releasing him. Such bitches! [FULL STORY]

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Pacman Coming To Dallas??

I was about to say "Big D" in the title instead of Dallas, but that shit would've been ultra homo lol. Anyway, yeah it looks like Dallas is in talks with Tennessee to acquire Pacman "Make It Rain" Jones! We NEED that since we let DeAngelo Hall go to Oakland instead of bringing him to Dallas though we are in serious need of DBs. Welp, I guess we'll just have to wait and see, but hell Pac hasn't even been reinstated yet lol. [FULL STORY]

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Athletes Gone Wild??

I was gonna talk about Pacman Jones' allegedly punching some stripper in the face in Atlanta, but the chick has withdrawn her complaint as of today so I'll switch my attention over to Randy Moss. Then again, I won't because this case just seems like another dumb bitch trying to get some money. In actuality, the only reason I was even gonna write about Randy Moss was because the alleged "accident" happened in Fort Lauderdale, but it just seems dumb to me. Well don't let me stop you from finding out more just go to ESPN.com or put it on Sportscenter, I'm through. [FULL STORY]



On another note, someone needs to tell Randy to do something with that nappy ass beard. I mean I know I let my shit go for 2 or 3 week, but fuck man Randy's shit is getting out of control like Ricky Williams a few years ago lol.

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