BUS DRIVER UPPERCUT PARODY

These hoes be actin up and I be uppercuttin em!

CANCELLATION FEES

Check out the new video!

THE GAME REVEALS NEW ALBUM COVER

This nigga going to Hell like a muhfucka lol.

BILL SIMMONS AND JALEN ROSE JOIN NBA COUNTDOWN

I'm super excited about this.

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Showing posts with label Ciara. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ciara. Show all posts

December 24, 2010

Ciara's 21 Gun Salute

So Ciara sells 37,000 and her career is over, but Soulja Boy sells 13,000 and nary a word is said?? Charlamagne please.

Speaking of C Tha God, shout to him for sonning Cipha Sounds and Peter Rosenburg the other day for slandering Haitian women. I know Hot 97 isn't gonna fire them, but if they do, let them know I'm available :-).

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December 23, 2010

Thursday Billboard Update - 12/23/10

Speak Now
Taylor Swift's Speak Now overtakes Susan Boyle's The Gift for #1, but blah blah blah. "Michael Jackson's" Michael debuts at #3 with 228,200 sold. R. Kelly's Love Letter debuts at #6 with 154,300. What can you say, the man has a real fan base. Dirty Money's Last Train To Paris exceeded expectations of 65,000 and sold 100,900. (Let the records show I was WAY closer with my prediction for the album. I guess that's why I'm the Industry Prognosticator and they aren't.)

Katy Perry's Firework is still #1, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that Bruno Mars' Grenade will finish the year out at #1, as it inches into the #2 spot this week. The biggest news on the Hot 100 this week is Lil Wayne bursting into the top 10 at #9 with his first post-prison single 6 Foot 7 Foot with Cory Gunz. It'll be interesting to see where it goes from here.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Taylor Swift - Speak Now (2-1)
2. Susan Boyle - The Gift (1-2)
3. "Michael Jackson" - Michael (3)
4. Jackie Evancho - O Holy Night (5-4)
5. Glee Cast - Christmas Album (3-5)
6. R. Kelly - Love Letter (6)
7. Dirty Money - Last Train To Paris (7)
8. Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday (6-8)
9. Kid Rock - Born Free (15-9)
10. Glee Cast - Glee, The Music Vol. 4 (8-10)
  • Tank's Now Or Never starts off at #35 with 43,700 sold.
  • Ciara's Basic Instinct debuts at #44 with 36,700 sold.
The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Katy Perry - Firework (1-1)
2. Bruno Mars - Grenade (3-2)
3. Rihanna - What's My Name (2-3)
4. Pink - Raise Your Glass (4-4)
5. Ke$ha - We R Who We R (5-5)
6. Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are (7-6)
7. Rihanna - Only Girl (In the World) (6-7)
8. Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit) (8-8)
9. Lil Wayne - 6 Foot 7 Foot (9)
10. Nelly - Just A Dream (9-10)
  • "Michael Jackson's" Hold My Hand with Akon jumps 16 spots 65-39.
  • Jeremih's Down On Me featuring 50 Cent hops 9 spots 62-53.
  • Twista's Make A Movie rises 9 spots 80-71.
  • In its 2nd week, Jamie Foxx's Fall For Your Type with Drake flies 20 spots 95-75.
  • Nicki Minaj's Moment 4 Life featuring Drake debuts at #82.
  • Usher's More debuts at #88.
  • R. Kelly's When A Woman Loves debuts at #93.
  • Fabolous' You Be Killin' Em finally debuts at #94. Who knows what took so long, this song is dope.

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December 15, 2010

This Week In Flops 12/14/10

Before I start, I want to remind everyone that a Michael Jackson album called Michael also dropped this week. I would've included it in today's proceedings, but I felt uncomfortable with putting the King Of Pop under the title "flop."

Aight, we have a lot of albums to get through again, so I'm gonna make these short and sweet.

Dirty Money
First up, the Last Train To Paris. If you're one of Diddy's 3,121,625 followers on Twitter, you're well aware this album is now in stores. Hopefully it's not all for nothing like Soulja Boy and his 2 million-plus followers last week. For Last Train To Paris, I'll say 115-140k.

R. Kelly
All I've been hearing is good things about this R. Kelly album. I guess he's done making foolish tracks like Real Talk, and got back to the real shit that made him who he is. Is all the acclaim coming too late to sway his first week numbers?? Possibly, but he's the R, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say 80-110k.

Ciara
Ciara is still the sexiest chick with no body in the world, and I'd still pick her #1 overall in the Sex Draft, but I'm not sure anybody is checking for this album. I hope they are because I like her, but I just don't feel it or see it. I'm gonna say it falls in the 30-60.

Tank
Good ol' Tank is back at them again, and I think he's good for 30-60k.

Kandi
I don't know much about this project, but a lot of people watch that show she's on, so I'll say 20-45.

Sheek Louch
Donnie! Def Jam let's another one go under the radar, I'll say 10-25k.

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July 01, 2010

Andre 3000 - All Together Now

3 Stacks
New Andre 3000, this has got to be hot, right?? Well...


What the hell is this shit?? This song sounds uncomprehendingly AWFUL! Come on 3 Stacks, you have nothing but free time on your hand these day, you could at least give us some shit worth listening to. Lord knows you've been working on this album long enough. Hopefully this is meant for some kinda kid show and not adult consumption because that would be one OutKast project I would not support.

Dre redeems himself after the jump though...

Ciara - Ride (Remix) (feat. Andre 3000 & Bei Maejor)


MUCH better. The song itself isn't all that, but 3000's verse was dope. More of this, less of that.

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June 24, 2010

Thursday Billboard Update - 6/24/10

Thank Drake Later
As expected, Drake's Thank Me Later has a big first week and debuts atop the charts at #1 with a whooping 447,300 sold. I over shot him a tad last week, but that's still an impressive number, and he'll be a platinum artist within the next 3 weeks.

Positions 1-4 all remain the same, but Drake's Find Your Love is up 5 spots to #5 this week. Now that's more like it, this should have happened weeks ago.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Drake - Thank Me Later (1)
2. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Mojo (2)
3. Sarah McLachlan - Laws of Illusion (3)
4. Various Artists - Now 34 (4)
5. Jack Johnson - To The Sea (4-5)
6. Various Artists - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2-6)
7. Justin Bieber - My World 2.0 (6-7)
8. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now (8-8)
9. Christina Aguilera - Bionic (3-9)
10. Glee Cast - Glee: The Music, Journey To Regionals (1-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Katy Perry - California Gurls (1-1)
2. Usher - OMG (2-2)
3. B.o.B - Airplanes (3-3)
4. Travis McCoy - Billionaire (4-4)
5. Drake - Find Your Love (10-5)
6. Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug (5-6)
7. Lady Gaga - Alejandro (6-7)
8. Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me (14-8)
9. Eminem - Not Afraid (8-9)
10. Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart (7-10)
  • Shontelle's Impossible finally cracks the top 20 jumping 8 spots 25-17.
  • Drake's Up All Night featuring Nicki Minaj debuts at #49 this week.
  • Ciara's Ride is starting to gain a little northward momentum as it jumps another 9 spots 65-56.
  • Drake's 9 AM In Dallas debuts at #57. Isn't this just a freestyle?? Yep, Drake is definitely on fire.
  • Drake's Fireworks featuring Alicia Keys pops off at #71.
  • Soulja Boy's ultra awful Pretty Boy Swag enters the charts at #90 this week.
  • Jaheim's Finding My Way Back debuts at #95.
  • And one last new entry from Drake, Fancy featuring T.I. and Swizz Beatz.

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April 29, 2010

Thursday Billboard Update - 4/29/10

Glee
There's nothing of interest of us going on on the Billboard 200, so lets move on.

B.o.B is practically running the Hot 100 right now. Of course Nothin' On You is sitting phat at #1, but Airplanes cracks the top 10 in his 2nd week at #9. And that's not even to mention he has another debut this week, but we'll get into that below.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Glee Cast - The Power Of Madonna (1)
2. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now (3-2)
3. Justin Bieber - My World 2.0 (1-3)
4. AC/DC - Iron Man 2 sdtk (4)
5. Usher - Raymond vs. Raymond (4-5)
6. Various Artists - Now! 33 (5-6)
7. Jimmy Buffet - Encores (7)
8. Justin Bieber - My World (10-8)
9. Zac Brown Band - The Foundation (15-9)
10. Lady Gaga - The Fame (7-10)
  • Cypress Hill's new album Rise Up debuts at #19 with 18,500 in first week sales.
  • Devin The Dude's Suite 420 debuts at #87 this week with just 6,100 albums sold.
  • And finally, Little Brother's last album Leftback comes in at #134 with 4,600 sold.
The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. B.o.B - Nothin' On You (1-1)
2. Rihanna - Rude Boy (2-2)
3. Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart (4-4)
4. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now (5-4)
5. Train - Hey, Soul Sister (3-5)
6. Usher - OMG (8-6)
7. Jason Derulo - In My Head (6-7)
8. Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug (9-8)
9. B.o.B - Airplanes (12-9)
10. Lady Gaga - Telephone (7-10)
  • Don't look now, but Jay-Z's Young Forever is actually sitting at #12 right now. That's crazy! Will it crack the top 10?? I don't know, we shall see.
  • Alicia Keys' Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) jumps 25 spots this week 83-58.
  • B.o.B's Bet I featuring T.I. and Playboy Tre debuts at #72.
  • Every girl's new favorite song and every guy's new favorite video, Ciara's Ride featuring Ludacris, debuts at #93. I think I'm gonna go watch that video right damn now actually.

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April 22, 2010

Ciara - Ride (feat. Ludacris)



Okay, that's it, I'm convinced Ciara is the best fuck in the game today, and possibly over the past 20 years. This video is the sex equivalent to the NFL combine, and I'm the Mel Kiper Jr. of the sex draft, urging you to take Ciara #1 overall!

See, CiCi is like that player who you underestimate because of their body, but wows you when you see them in action. That's the kind of stuff that gets you shot up the (sex) draft boards of every team. The athleticism, the flexibility, the clean shaved crotch, if you're looking for a woman to put it on you so good you shed a tear after sex after hollin' her name for the past hour, then Ciara Harris is your sex draft pick. She's Peyton Manning in '98, you can't miss.


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April 20, 2010

Ciara - Basic Instinct (U Got Me) Video



LMAO! Was this a comedy, because I couldn't doing nothing but laugh hysterically while listening to and watching this video lol. R&B singers, BE R&B SINGERS! Stop trying to be rappers for the love of God! It didn't work for Tyrese, its not gonna work for Brandy, and after what I just saw, it surely isn't gonna work for Ciara. This is just silly, Ciara, stop playing girl.

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June 06, 2009

Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant: Ciara In London!

Get em CiCi!
Here's some pics of Ciara's recent concert over the pond in London. She's busting out all over and is driving me completely fuckin' CRAZY!

Question: Now that's Cassie and Rihanna's nudes have leaked, isn't Ciara naturally the next in line?? I sure as hell hope so!


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May 13, 2009

Chrisette Michele Bests Ciara For #1 Spot!

http://i43.tinypic.com/sno1h0.jpg
Wow, this is a real shocker! Chrisette Michele's new album Epiphany actually sold more records than Ciara's Fantasy Ride and will indeed be the #1 album in the country when the Billboard 200 comes out tomorrow. The bad news is that it wasn't due to Epiphany (83,000) overachieving but rather Fantasy Ride (81,000) underachieving. I mean, I thought CiCi was good for at least 100,000, but she really flopped hard.

Props to Chrisette though because she had a pretty good album. This all goes to show that I was right about #1 albums being more about when you come out than how much you sale.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this is the lowest a #1 album has sold in the history of SoundScan.

SOURCE

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May 05, 2009

This Week In Flops 5/5/09

http://i42.tinypic.com/2rh1jl4.jpg
My baby Ciara is back as her new album Fantasy Ride finally hits stores. Even though I knew it was coming out on this date for awhile, it still kinda feels like a surprise. Her label really did a poor job promoting this album. Now, in defense of the label, I heard this album sounds exactly like her first two and shows little to no growth so maybe that's why they didn't make a honest attempt to sell it to us. Anyway, she is Ciara so she's good for at least 100,000 so I'm gonna go with 105-130k. And guess what Rick Ross?? She's gonna have the #1 album! Not because she did crazy numbers, but because she came out in a week where she'd have no competition lol. "Get 'em CiCi!"

http://i43.tinypic.com/sno1h0.jpg
For starters I wanna say I'm NOT feelin' the haircut at all. I don't want my female to be rocking the same haircut as Chad from the Alltel commercials lol. (BTW I don't think Ciara's "Dennis Hopper in the Super Mario Bros. movie" hair in her album cover is that appealing either lol.) Anyway, you wouldn't expect Chrisette's album to do well seeing she got even less of those Def Jam marketing dollars than Jadakiss, but I have a good feeling about thus album. I'm gonna go 45-75k for Epiphany.

http://i39.tinypic.com/2exn9lk.jpg
I hope this shit flops just because of the corniness of the album title. Scale-A-Ton?? That's the best you could come up with?? Sounds like something Rick Ross would say lol. You know its a bad play on words when you have to put the real word in brackets underneath it despite the picture depicting a half skeleton, half DJ Paul face lol. Oh, and what's up with the Kenyon Martin-esque lipstick kiss on the neck?? Fuckin' weird. Let me leave DJ Paul aone, 1-5k

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April 18, 2009

Ciara - G Is For Girl (A-Z)

Ciara - G Is For Girl (A-Z)

Now that I'm writing this I'm actually kinda working why I'm giving this its own post?? This song isn't that great off the first listen but I just love me some CiCi!

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March 22, 2009

Ciara - Love Sex Magic (feat. Justin Timberlake) Video



Yeeeaahhh!! I fucks with ALL of that! Well, all that besides that afro wig, tuxedo onesie thing at the end. That shit made my dick soft lol. I could see this not being played on MTV or BET without a few edits but I'm sure this will skyrocket up the Hot 100 in a few weeks time.

Related:
Ciara - Love & Sex & Magic (feat. Justin Timberlake)

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February 20, 2009

Ciara - Love & Sex & Magic (feat. Justin Timberlake)

Ciara - Love & Sex & Magic (feat. Justin Timberlake)


If this track sounds familiar, its because I posted it on election day, but then it was simply called Magic and was JT by himself. I should have known it was just laid down vocal for a female artist because he clearly says "boy" in the first verse. Oh well, even the best can be caught slipping lol.

Speaking of Ciara and undone tracks...

Ciara - Echo (feat. Young Jeezy)


Now I really could've sworn I posted the original version without Jeezy long ago, but I guess I must've forgotten to because I definitely have it on my computer. Anyway, this shit is jammin'!

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January 31, 2009

Ciara - Never Ever (feat. Young Jeezy)


Damn man Ciara is still so fuckin' sexy! Its the way she dances, man, that shit has me going crazy! I still don't know what's up with the deep voice dude at the beginning though lol.

Related:

SONG: Ciara Feat. Young Jeezy - Never Ever (Prod. By Polow Da Don)

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January 15, 2009

Muzik Pt. 1

Busta Rhymes Feat. T-Pain - Hustler's Dream (Clean)


Wow, not impressed... at all lol.

Lil Jon Feat. Ciara & Lil Wayne - Roll Call


Can I get a show of hands from all the indiviuals that forget about Crunk Rock?? Let it go Jon, your time came and went in 2004 lol.


Shawty Lo - Roll The Dice


Why do niggas keep insisting on remixes tracks other people have already remixed?? First Wayne then Jeezy and now Lo. Anyway, as far as the track goes, in the 2nd verse it sounds like he was trying to call a truce with T.I. again but then again who knows with this nigga because beef with T.I. is obviously the only reason he's ever mentioned.

Lloyd Banks - Don't Come Around


I hope Banks is gonna put this type of effort on his album tracks. Good shit.

DJ Drama Feat. Ghostface & Lupe Fiasco - Paint A Picture


This shit is sick! Ghostface rips it, Lupe rips it, the beat is hard! Just a overall good ass track.

DJ Green Lantern Feat. Avery Storm & Uncle Murda - Crazy World


I never made a post about dude the cops shot in the back, but how sad was that?? Man, so fucked up still in 2009.

Ne-Yo - I'm Doin' Ok


How many tracks did Ne-Yo do for his last album?? I mean damn he's still dropping shit lol. This track, like its title, is just ok though.


Ya Boy Feat. E-40, Kurupt, & Glasses Malone - Superstars


No disrespect to Kurupt but his verse was wack! I'm about all of it from the way he spit it to the actual lyrics lol. And can somebody tell Glasses Malone he's gonna have a hard time trying to be a gangsta rapper using auto-tune lol. The verses went from good to bad to badder to baddest lol.

Jim Jones Feat. Ryan Leslie - Precious


Jimmy went back to the old super wack version of himself from like 03-04 lol. I mean that 2nd verse was just terrible and to add insult to injury he was off beat...as hell lol.

N.O.R.E. - Blame It Freestyle


I love N.O.R.E. but he does nothing to help this track out.

N.O.R.E. - Ain't I Freestyle


I don't know if its because this track is just wack or N.O.R.E. was just bad, but I hated this.

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January 06, 2009

Ciara Feat. Young Jeezy - Never Ever (Prod. By Polow Da Don)

You know, I was just recently wondering what happened to CiCi's album after Hood Girl bombed. Welp she's back again and apparently Fantasy Ride is dropping on the 27th. Good Luck baby.

Ciara Feat. Young Jeezy - Never Ever (Prod. By Polow Da Don)


Hmm, not impressed. Not sure why you'd start a soft track off with the beginning part of that hook but whatever. It did get better after that point but I wouldn't jam it. Then again, you never know what these kids will like these days so maybe it'll work. I still like Ciara though so its whatever.

Related:
CiCi's A Diva
Ciara Feat. T-Pain - Go Girl

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Teyana's A Single Lady; CiCi's A Diva


I couldn't even enjoy my boo Teyana because 1) the fag screaming "Go Teyana!" 50 times was annoying as fuck and 2) the dudes on both sides of her both knowing and doing the dance moves with her was just disturbing. Needless to say they didn't get any pussy after the show and that's most likely by choice (if you know what I mean lol).

What was this anyway?? Looked like a talent show or something. Teyana needs to fire her manager lol. Lets move on to Ciara.

Ciara - Diva (Remix)


I thought I wouldn't get a chance to post this, but why not now?? Perfect! Well whatever the case Beyonce must be proud with both of them.

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November 06, 2008

50 Cent - Get Up

I was wondering when homie was gonna put out a video if he still planned to drop his album in December. Their marketing machine is waaaaay behind right now. I mean he doesn't even have a made-up beef going yet lol.



Damn, that chick looks a lot like Ciara. I wonder if that was on purpose?? lol. And at the end, was that Eminem and Dre in those tanks?? If so he needs to break their asses out ASAP!

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September 05, 2008

Ciara Feat. T-Pain - Go Girl

Get 'em CiCi!

I actually saw this early on yesterday when I was getting those Jessica Rabbit pictures and considered posting it as a SGGP, but I dunno this really isn't all that sexy to me. It definitely has nothing on Keyshia Cole's nude Vibe cover from last year Don't get it twisted though, I love Ciara and would definitely smash given the chance, but this cover just doesn't do it for me.

Anyway, back to the task at hand, the muzik! Remember this track?? Well this is the finished version of that with a new name and new T-Pain verse (before I heard this I didn't even realize that first T-Pain part was the lyrics for Ciara to do over but whatever lol).

Ciara Feat. T-Pain - Go Girl


I still can't figure out why the changed it from Hood Girl to Go Girl?? I thought Hood Girl was a bit childish for someone grown's third album, but "they call me go girl" just sounds stupid. Niggas just throwing verbs wherever the hell they want lol.

As for the song itself I like it and it really grew on me since I heard the undone Hood Girl version.

Previous Tracks:
Ciara - Common Denominator

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