Dez Bryant Postpones Surgery, Will Try To Play

As most of you know, Dez Bryant is dealing with a fractured left index finger and was given the option of having surgery or try to play through it with long term implications lingering. Today, Dez has decided to forgo surgery and attempt to play this Sunday against the Steelers.

Now while I applaud his heart and willingness to try and help his team, I think this is an absolutely awful idea. I'm a Cowboys, but even I can admit we aren't going anywhere this year, so why risk doing long term damage to your hand in more-than-likely meaningless season? Plus, how effective can he even be playing while wearing a splint to protect his broken finger? Will he even be 70% of his normal self? Hell, even if he is 70% of his normal self, I rather just play Kevin Olgetree or Dwayne Harris because at least they're healthy.

Yes, I would love to have him on the field Sunday, but the risk is too high and I say we shut him down immediately.

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Sean Lee Out For The Season

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Kevin Hart Hosting The VMAs

While this is obviously excellent news, I have to ask why it didn't happen sooner? There was no host last year and Kevin Hart kept coming out and doing things, so why not just have had him hosting last year too? Oh well, I'm still happy for the new King of Comedy.

I'm also happy for my Dallas Cowboys because MTV clearly moved the VMAs up to a Thursday to distract me from the Cowboys-Giants season opener. What they hadn't anticipated was the NFL deciding to bump the game up to Wednesday so it wouldn't conflict with the Democratic National Convention.

Ha! In your face, MTV!

I don't care what anybody says, one of the higher-ups at MTV hates the Cowboys and is doing this shit on purpose. If the NFL hadn't bumped the game up a day, it would've been the 3rd time since 2007 the VMAs coincided with the Dallas Cowboys season opener. Coincidence? I think not.

(Side note: I wonder how much the Romney campaign had to pay MTV to randomly move the VMAs to Thursday for the first time sine 2006 to distract from the DNC?)

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A Few Thoughts On The NFL Draft

We stole Morris Claiborne!!!! I am SO fucking excited about this pick! I still can't believe it! Thank you St. Louis!!

Okay, I'll stop typing now before I jinx Mo into a season ending injury.

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The NFL Releases The 2012 Schedule

My first thought when looking at the 2012 NFL schedule is HOW IN THE FUCK DID THE PATRIOTS GET THE EASIEST SCHEDULE?! It's like the league is rewarding them for choking in the Super Bowl. It's hard to not think that, especially considering the fact that the Giants just so happened to end up with the hardest schedule. That's crazy.

You know something else that's crazy? The 15-1 Packers have the 2nd easiest schedule! I know these schedules are put together by a pretty simple formula, but it just seems odd that the best team in the league last year ended up with one of the easiest schedule this year. This totally opens the door for 2 teams going 16-0 next season.

Another thing I noticed was that the Curse of Tebow has already started to kick in because the Broncos have a totally brutal schedule. Six of their first 8 games are against playoff teams last season (Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Houston, New England, New Orleans and Cincinnati)! John Elway and 'nem are about to pay for what they did to Tim Tebow in a major way.

Lastly, I was going to bitch about the Cowboys' schedule, but after further review, I'm fine with it. Yeah, it sucks that 6 of our first 9 games are on the road (including 3 separate sets of back-to-back road games), but that also means 5 of our last 7 games will be at home. We're going to need that shit too because that December stretch of Philly, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, and Washington is just cruel. It also sucks that we have an early bye for the 4th straight year, but fuck it.

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Nike Unveils New NFL Uniforms

Fuck everybody else's uniforms, I'm just happy Nike didn't flip the Cowboys' unis into some Oregon Ducks bullshit.

For the most part, the uniforms only underwent subtle change, and the only team who actually got new uniforms was the Seattle Seahawks. You can see those bullshit uniforms below.

Then again, they're definitely not as bad as those Nickelodeon slime colored shits Seattle wore in 2009.

Anyway, here's a shot of everybody else's uniforms.

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Giants To Host Cowboys In Season Opener

The entire NFL schedule will be release tomorrow, but today we learned the first game of the 2012 season: the Dallas Cowboys at the New York Giants. Can't wait!

Now, as many have pointed out, Super Bowl champs are 8-0 hosting the Thursday night kickoff game since the NFL started doing it in 2004. I'm not worried though because this game will be played on a Wednesday because of the Democratic National Convention.

Win or lose, I'll be happy to get 9 days of rest before our next game....but of course I'd be much happier if we got that rest after winning.

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Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition Pt. 2

1) Calvin Johnson Signs Richest WR Contract Ever
Doesn't it seem like the biggest WR contract ever is signed every year?? Regardless, Megatron's deal is $132 million for 8 years with $60 million guaranteed. We better never hear stories about him being broke when he stops playing.

2) The Eagles Finally Pay DeSean Jackson
I don't really like DeSean Jackson (mainly because I'm a Cowboys fan), but it's about damn time they paid the man. His deal is 5 years for $51 million

3) Peyton Hillis Signs With The... Chiefs?!
One year for $3 million for Peyton Hillis? What the fuck is going on?? Shit, I thought the Madden curse on lasted one season. Bad times in the Hillis family.

4) Cowboys Sign Brandon Carr, Kyle Orton, Brodney Pool & Lawrence Vickers
I like, I like, I like, I like!

Brandon Carr (5 years, $50.1 million) and Brodney Pool should help out our secondary right away. We still need to grab a couple cornerbacks in the draft, but this is a nice start for our bleeding secondary.

I loved Tony Fiammetta, but I'm more than open to having Lawrence Vickers on the roster, I mean, he did lead block for Arian Foster last season.

And of course Kyle Orton is more than welcomed in Dallas to back up Tony Romo (though I'm sure outsiders will start the "should Orton be the starter?" at some back next season).

5) Jags Sign Laurent Robinson

The deal is 5 years for $32.5 million with $14 million guaranteed. Not bad for a guy on the street at the beginning of last season.

As a Cowboys fan, I'm sad to see Laurent go, but I'm not mad at him one bit. In the NFL, if you have a chance to cash in, your ass better cash in (look at the deal Peyton Hillis just got). Besides, what does this really mean, we have to pass the ball to Miles Austin, Dez Bryant, and Jason Witten more? That's a bad thing? We'll be fine.

Speaking of former Cowboys...

6) Giants Sign Martellus Bennett

Good! I couldn't be more happy about finally getting this clown off our roster and onto the Giants'. Now when he's wide open and drops a pass that hits both of his hands, I can laugh and cheer.

Every damn year we heard about how impressive he was in training camp, then the season started and he never did shit. Good riddance.

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Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition

1) Dolphins Trade Brandon Marshall To Bears

On some real shit, fuck the Dolphins! As if my Cowboys didn't have enough teams ahead of them in the NFC (Packers, Saints, Giants, etc.), they go and reunite Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler in Chicago. And do they gut the Bears in exchange for their top receiver? Nope, all they get back is 2 3rd-round picks. They traded 2 2nd-round picks to get him just 2 years ago!

But I guess that's all you can expect back in return for a 27 year-old WR coming off a Pro Bowl season of 81 catches for 1,214 yards while being thrown passes by Chad Henne and Matt Moore.

2) 49ers Sign Randy Moss
This obviously happened last night, but I forgot to talk about it.

Anyway, the deal is for 1 year and worth $2.5 million. In essence, this should make the 49ers better, but Randy Moss hasn't been Randy Moss for a couple years now.

(Side note: Am I the only one completely shocked no petty niggas have brought up how Moss and Peyton Manning are both 35 year-old NFL legends who missed the 2011 season but the white one is being courted by teams and will get paid huge money while the black one had to work out for teams and only got a 1-year deal?)

3) Bucs Land Vincent Jackson

Bad news for Phail Rivers, his #1 WR just joined the Buccaneers for $55,555,555 (ocho cincos...get it?) over the next 5 years with $26 million guaranteed.

4) Saints Keep Marques Colston

The deal is 5 years and worth $40 million with $19 million guaranteed. Good for the Saints.

5) Pierre Garcon Signs With Redskins

The Redskins also signed Josh Morgan and are on the verge of signing Eddie Royal (still no word on why he'd leave a back-up role to assume a back-up role elsewhere). Good thing receiver was their only need. Oh wait...

Anyway, I used to like Garcon, but fuck him now, he's with the enemy.

6) Cowboys Cut Terence Newman & David Buehler

Sad to see them go, but this was very necessary. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of all the cornerbacks on our roster not named Mike Jenkins or Orlando Sandrick. Then we need to sign a free agent or 2 and draft a couple of talented rookies (I definitely wouldn't mind hearing news that we traded up to get Morris Claiborne or Dre Kirkpatrick... but especially Morris Claiborne). That's how we'll fix the secondary.

And obviously getting rid of Buehler was a no-brainer.

7) Jason Campbell Signs With Bears
Smart move by Campbell, Chicago is as good a place as any to be the back-up QB.

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Don't Ice Ice Bailey

I'm totally over Jason Garrett moronically icing his own kicker last Sunday (mostly because I knew we'd lose in odd fashion), but I still thoroughly enjoyed this Cowboy Jeff parody.

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Cowboys Reward Jason Witten With Extension

Friday Jay Ratliff got his extension, and now Jerry locked up Jason Witten for another 5 years. The extension is worth $37 million with $19 million in guarantees. Yada, yada, I'm ready for some football!

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Why Aren't The Cowboys Trying To Sign T.J. Houshmandzadeh?

Earlier tonight I was checking out the box scores for all the NFL preseason games (yeah, I was bored) and when I got to the Chiefs-Ravens' receiving stats, I noticed a (fairly long) name was missing: T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Then I remembered, when T.J. signed with the Ravens last year, it was an one-year deal and they have yet to re-sign him (and most likely won't after they traded for Lee Evans last week), so he's a free agent. That's right, the most sought after free agent WR just 2 years ago is a free agent roughly 3 weeks away from the beginning of the season. How insane is that? I mean, it's not like he has suffered any major injuries since (oddly) choosing Seattle in 2009 and he doesn't have any "off the field issues." What's the problem?

I don't know, but here's where my Cowboys come in: Miles Austin has missed the last few days of practice, and possibly won't play in Sunday's preseason game against the Chargers because of a tight hamstring. By all accounts, the injury is minor, but it does raise concerns about what we'll do this season if either Miles or Dez Bryant get hurt.

Behind Miles and Dez right now we have Kevin Olgetree (10 career receptions and 130 career yards), Dwayne Harris (2011 6th round pick), and Raymond Radway (undrafted free agent rookie). That's it. Last year we traded Patrick Crayton (I told you we'd regret it), and obviously we cut Roy Williams, so clearly we're thin as hell at receiver.

That brings me to the title of this post: Why (in the FUCK) aren't the Cowboys trying to sign T.J. Houshmanzadeh?

Again, he's not injured, he's not a "head case," and evidently he's not that sought after (may mean we can get him at a reasonable price), so what would be the down side to this? Best case scenario: Miles and Dez stay healthy and we upgrade our #3 WR spot; worse case scenario: we have a more than capable #2 WR if either Miles or Dez goes down with an injury. (Feel free to interrupt me when I hit a bad part.)

Jerry, if you're listening (and I know you're not), it's time to make up for the Roy and Crayton trades and make a smart move at WR. Go. Get. Housh!

(Side note: Let the records show that if Miles or Dez don't get hurt, the #3 receiver spot won't even matter because we have Jason Witten. When we went 13-3 in 2007, our third wide-out was Sam Hurd and he finished the season with 19 catches for 314 yards and 1 touchdown. That's it. I'm fairly confident Olgetree, Radway, and Harris could handle that, but I'm even more confident Jason Witten will put up another 90 catch, near 1,000 yard season.)

(Side side note: I'm gonna be so pissed if the Patriots steal him too!)

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Cowboys Cut Roy Williams & Others

Yes, Lord, yes! Finally Roy Williams is a former Dallas Cowboys. Man, that was the longest abortion ever!

Sadly, Roy wasn't the only Cowboy to visit Valley Ranch for the final time today, Marion Barber, Leonard Davis, and Kris Brown were also told not to report to training camp in San Antonio tomorrow because they were being released.

I'm gonna miss the Barberian and his reckless running style, but I know we're gonna be fine with Felix Jones and Tashard Choice. I'll also miss big Leonard Davis. He had a bad year last year (including getting benched against Tennessee), but I'm not sure we have anybody to replace him with. Strangely, even though there's no replacement for him as of yet (and please don't say Montrae Holland because he's only 2 years younger, injury prone, and a whole lot worse), the move still makes sense because we actually save more money by cutting Davis ($6 million), than we did by cutting Roy ($5 million) or Barber ($4.7 million).

Going back to Roy, it'll be fun to see how the 2011 Cowboys WRs corps will be now that we aren't financially forced to start an underachiever. We know Miles Austin and Dez Bryant will be the starter, but we don't know who 3-5 will be. The obvious choice would be to bump up Kevin Olgetree, Sam Hurd, and Jesse Holley, but I wonder what the possibility would be of bringing back Patrick Crayton? I know it's unlikely (unless he's cut from the Chargers), just putting it out there. Either way, I hope we give Sam Hurd a real shot this year because he never really got it in the past.

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Yes! The VMAs Are August 28th!

Thank you, Lord! Thank you!

If you're wondering why I'm so excited about the date of the VMAs, it's because for the past few years the VMAs have been on the same night as the first Sunday night football, and the Cowboys were scheduled to play in that game for a 3rd time in 5 years. I HATE trying to flip back and forth between the Cowboys and the VMAs (even though both sucked last year), so thank goodness I won't have to do that this year.

...Well, if there's a football season.

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Cowboys Get Themselves A Ryan

No, not the Ryan on the left (Rex), but the Ryan on the right with the white Tom Brady hair (Rob). That man is the new defensive coordinator of my Dallas Cowboys...and I couldn't be more thrilled!

I guess the Cleveland Browns had no use for a defensive guru, you know, with their wealth of talent on that side of the ball and all. Even with that sad excuse for an talent pool, Rob Ryan coached them to be the 13th best scoring defense (20.8 points per game) and 14th in turnovers forced (28) this season. That's better than the Cowboys talent rich group did. Plus, he's a Ryan! Great hire in my opinion.

I can't wait to go face off against Rex and the Jets next season!

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Cowboys Keep Garrett

According to NFL.com's Mike Lombardi, Jerry Jones has decided to remove the interim tag and make Jason Garrett the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

I can't say I didn't see this one coming, Garrett has done a great job since taking over for Wade Phillips in November and bringing out the real playbook. It also didn't hurt that when asked about hiring a coach by the guys at the NFL Network last Saturday, Jerry Jones said that no coach has ever won a Super Bowl with one team and gone on to win another with another team, all-but ending any speculation of him going after Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden.

As a Cowboy fan, I'm fine with the decision, and can't wait to see what the 2011 Cowboys do when Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, and the new additions from the 2011 Draft (hopefully on the offensive line and in the secondary) arrive.

(Side note: I hate that we interviewed Ray Sherman when we knew Jason Garrett was our guy. The Rooney Rule is a joke.)

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Random News Shit: NFL Headlines Edition

1) Brad Childress Fired; Leslie Frazier Promoted
Well it's about damn time, now he can finally return to his job as Michael Wilbon's co-host on PTI.

You know who this all sucks for?? Tarvaris Jackson. Why, you ask?? Because there's no way the black coach can step in and instantly insert the black QB into the line up. Not to mention that if he wants to keep this job he's gonna have to win games. Everybody hates Tarvaris *Everybody Hates Chris them voice.*

2) Vince Young Placed On IR
I'm not taking Jeff Fisher's side in this whole mess because he has been herky jerky with Vince Young in his career, but Vince is a sensitive bitch who needs to man up. Always whining and carrying on like a freaking child. Grow up nigga.

You know who the big loser in this situation is?? Randy Moss. Just a few weeks ago he was getting passes from Tom Brady, come Sunday he'll be getting them from Boca Raton's own Rusty Smith. "Randy Moss Quit-Mode" activated.

3) Tony Romo's Collarbone Is Still Broken
Fine. This season effectively ended when he initially got hurt, so there's no real reason to rush back. Get healthy and we'll see you in 2011 Romeo.

4) Richard Seymour Fined $25,000; No Suspension
Hell, the NFL should be giving Richard Seymour $25,000, not taking it away. You can't blame a guy for reacting to someone talking shit directly in their face.

I wonder if LeGarrette Blount called and consulted Seymour after this??

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Romo Fractures Clavicle, May Be Done For Season

I'll make this quick and to the point: the season is over. Oh well, my new goal has shifted from roofing for my Cowboys to rooting against them so we can get a top 5 pick in the 2011 draft.

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Football Wives Trailer

You've heard of Basketball Wives, well now it's time for Football Wives! This is great and all, but I know what you're all thinking, and yes I agree, I can't wait until we get down to Olympic Rowing Wives either. Now those women are interesting!

Seriously though, I'm mad there's 3 Dallas Cowboys involved in this shit (4 if you count Deion...and damn his wife Pilar is so fuckin' beautiful). We already had Kim Kardashian dumped us, now we got this shit to contend with?? And really, does David Buehler really need any more reason for Cowboys fans to hate him right now??

Oh well, if you're interested the show premieres this Sunday night at 10:30.

No word on why this couldn't wait until the offseason.

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Random News Shit: Extension Edition

1) Dallas Gives Austin 6-Year, $54M Extension
That's $20 million in guaranteed money for T.O.'s true replacement.

Now while I agree with paying Miles, I must say I disagree with Jerry Jones on the timing of it. I'm positive Miles won't be a one-year wonder, but I still would've liked to see a couple monster games in 2010 before the check was cut. Oh well, I ain't mad at Miles, get that money playa. Oh, and don't spend it all on one Kardashian at once.

2) Pats Makes Brady Highest Paid With 4-Year, $72M Extension
Gets in a car crash while probably getting head from some model chick by day, highest paid player in the NFL by night. That's the life of Tom Brady.

(Side note: If Tom and Gisele Bündchen ever get divorced, does she still have a right to half of his money even she still makes more than him?? This is a serious question by the way.)

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