I hate that I'm in a position to like Tom Brady, but this skit was great.
Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts
June 01, 2012
February 05, 2012
The Winners & Losers Of Super Bowl XLVI
Winners: Walter Payton's daughter; the National Anthem; bedazzle microphones; odd first scoring plays; Elton John's platform shoes in that lame Pepsi commercial; Henry Hynoski prop bets; 12 men on the field penalties to negate turnovers; Victor Cruz; Salsa dancing; naked M&Ms; Twinkies; cat murder; cat murder cover ups; overweight dogs; JPP's hands; JPP's father; Steve Weatherford's punting; The Avengers; Adriana Lima from the Teleflora commercial; Braxton P. Hartnabrig; G.I. Joe; The Rock; Jay-Z quotes; Danny Woodhead; the gays; Metta World Peace; Ochocino; Aaron Hernandez; making it rain; momentum shifts; hits by Patrick Chung; mangy mutts doing slave labor; Mario Manningham; Eli Manning; Adam Carolla's betting losing streak; Tiquan Underwood (aka the Fresh Prince); the New York Giants.
Losers: Kelly Clarkson's bangs; Audi's vampire commercial; Tom Brady's first pass; over excitement about being the last men on Earth and living in a world with no women; prohibition; turning board games into movies (Battleship); H&M's David Beckham commercial (Who the fuck thought this was a good idea for a game being watched by mostly men?); my eye sight; Travis Beckum's ACL; Wes Welker's mustache; Swizz Beatz's check from that NFL.com fantasy commercial; the halftime show; M.I.A.'s middle finger (thanks for ensuring us 10 more years of old fogeys performing the halftime show, idiot); any hope for a Nicki Minaj wardrobe malfunction; Cee-Lo's neck; James Harrison (you know he was at home pissed watching all those hard hits go uncalled); Tom Brady throwing deep; anyone who would drink out of a bottle that mangy mutt in the Bug Light commercial had in its mouth; Samsung thinking anybody wants a cell phone you need a pen to operate in 2012; Ahmad Bradshaw's ability to stop; Patriots receivers; Birdman; Bill Belichick; the New England Patriots.
February 06, 2011
Tom Brady Wins MVP
SOURCE
February 01, 2011
Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition
This may come as some sort of surprise, but Blake Griffin made the team. I know, I know, let's all take a moment to pick up our eyes that fell from out collective heads.
Alright, so on the Rookie team you have Blake, John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Derrick Favors, Landry Fields, Wesley Johnson, Greg Monroe, and Gary Neal. On the Sophomore team you have former Rookie Of The Year Tyreke Evans, DeJuan Blair, Steph Curry, DeMar DeRozan, Taj Gibson, Jrue Holiday, Serge Ibaka, Brandon Jennings, and Wesley Matthews. If Brandon Jennings can't participate in the Dunk Contest, I doubt he's playing in this game, so does he get replaced, or do the other players just play more minutes?
On another All-Star weekend note, everyone who follows Bill Simmons on Twitter learned earlier that he and Jimmy Kimmel would be the coaches in the All-Star Celeb Game. Participating in the game will be Magic Johnson (hopefully no one still scared to guard him), Scottie Pippen (hopefully their playing for a cash prize), A.C. Green (I heard he finally got his dick wet), Jalen Rose, Chris Mullin, B.J. Armstrong, Jason Alexander, Common, and of course Justin Bieber. I wonder if the Bieb is gonna wear one of those Sasha Vujacic hair net string band thingies that make him look like he's wearing a lace front wig? If not, he should.
No word yet on why the majority of players already committed formerly played in the NBA. And yes, I'm including Common in that.
2) Tom Brady Wins Offensive Player Of The Year
No surprise here (even thought Thomas couldn't crack 4,000 yards). I wish they would've just gave him the MVP today too. Why wait?
3) Stephen A. Smith Returns To ESPN
Damn, that was fast. I think DMX was out of jail for longer than Stephen A. was away from ESPN.
Welp, welcome back Stephen, I can't wait to see him back in Bristol battling Skip Bayless on 1st & 10.
4) Homeless Couple Win Trip To Super Bowl
Wow, 2011 has been an awesome year for homeless people. First Ted Williams gets a hair cut and a bazillion job offers, and now these homeless folks get an all expense trip to Super Bowl XLV. Hell, I need to stop paying these bills so I can hurry up and get my blessing.
September 10, 2010
Random News Shit: Extension Edition
That's $20 million in guaranteed money for T.O.'s true replacement.
Now while I agree with paying Miles, I must say I disagree with Jerry Jones on the timing of it. I'm positive Miles won't be a one-year wonder, but I still would've liked to see a couple monster games in 2010 before the check was cut. Oh well, I ain't mad at Miles, get that money playa. Oh, and don't spend it all on one Kardashian at once.
2) Pats Makes Brady Highest Paid With 4-Year, $72M Extension
Gets in a car crash while probably getting head from some model chick by day, highest paid player in the NFL by night. That's the life of Tom Brady.
(Side note: If Tom and Gisele Bündchen ever get divorced, does she still have a right to half of his money even she still makes more than him?? This is a serious question by the way.)
December 18, 2009
Random News Shit: Sports Recap 12/14-12/17
December 14th
Tom Brady Comes To Randy Moss' Defense
Well that's a good thing for them, but anybody who watched that game or saw those highlights can clearly see Randy was half-assing it. The thing I don't get though, is why the Panthers' DBs were talking shit in the first place?? 1) If you're an opposing DB and Randy Moss only has 1 catch for 16 yards, why wouldn't you just say you shut Randy Moss down?? 2) While Moss was dogging it, they STILL couldn't stop Wes Welker as he went for 10 catches and 105 yards. Makes no sense to me, but oh well.
December 15th
Man Pleads Guilty In Erin Andrews Case
He agreed to serve 27 months, but the judge will have the final say. That's about right to me. And even though this guy is a sicko, I appreciate what he did for the internet and all Erin Andrews fans lol.
Tracy McGrady Makes Season Debut
Can you believe Tracy is still only 30 years-old?? He should still be in his prime right now, but he's been damn near slowed to a hault by injuries. Maybe he needs to do what I suggested to Greg Oden and have his agent land him a gig in Phoenix.
Now, the part that I don't get in all this is how Tracy loss his #1 jersey to Trevor Ariza?? Yeah, check it out, Tracy is wearing a #3 jersey, and Trevor is wearing #1. I actually noticed Trevor was wearing the #1 a few games before Tracy came back, but either way, isn't that weird?? Tracy has worn #1 for his entire career, why they switch now?? I mean, its not like Tracy left the team and came back to somebody wearing his number (as is the case with Ben Wallace who is now back with the Pistons, but has to wear the #6), he never left the roster. He wasn't a free agent or anything. Its not a big deal at the end of the day, but I just don't get it, especially since Trevor was the new comer AND he wore the #3 last year with the Lakers while #1 was available. Okay, I gotta move on, I'm spending way too much time on this lol.
December 16th
Angels Lands Series MVP, Hideki Matsui
Well it was probably inevitable that the Yankees would let him go, but the Angels defnitely upgraded their DH position because Vlad Guerrero barely looked like he was moving when he ran the bases last season. It was just sad really.
Anyway, Matsui got a one-year $6 million deal.
Phillies Get Halladay, Sends Lee To Mariners
This trade was dumb to me. I mean, Roy Halladay is a great pitcher, but Cliff Lee had already proven he was lights out the entire time he was with Philly. I hope this trade blows up in the Phillies' face.
December 17th
Ocho Cinco Wants to Fight Merriman
Had Chris Henry not passed, this would be probably be the big storyline going in to Sunday's match-up for the right to the #2 seed in the playoffs. Its still kinda funny though.
Vinny Cerrato Resigns From Redskins Position
This is probably best for the Redskins. They have already brought in Bruce Allen to replace him, and are now, reportedly, in talks with Mike Shanahan. The word on ESPN is that Mike Shanahan turned down the Bills job because they wouldn't bring in Allen. I personally think it was because the Bills sucks, but who knows lol.
Bobby Knight Chides John Calipari In Speech
Here's the quote:
"We've gotten into this situation where integrity is really lacking and that's why I'm glad I'm not coaching," he said. "You see we've got a coach at Kentucky who put two schools on probation and he's still coaching. I really don't understand that."
Thank you! College coaches can practically get away with murder and the players that really make these school their money can't get away with a white lie. Damn shame, but I applaud Bobby Knight for speaking up.
September 01, 2009
Random News Shit: SportsCenter Edition
There was a bet going on Streak For The Cash about how many total games would be played in Venus' match with Vera Dushevina. Your 2 options were as follows: 15 games or fewer OR 16 games or more. Thirty-four games were played.
I wanted her to go over 16, but damn! It was cool at first because I was winning, but then my girl V was really in danger of losing. It was crazy! BUT she did survive though I'm not sure how much further she can go with that bad knee.
2) Ricky Rubio Agrees To... Stay In Spain
I would comment on this, but I can't say it any better than Bill Simmons did last night so without any further ado, take the mic Sports Guy:
"So Minny traded [Randy] Foye & [Mike] Miller for $18 mill of bad contracts + the right to negotiate with Rubio 2 summers from now? Savvy!"
"ESPN's Chris Sheridan is reporting that Isiah Thomas just called David Kahn to congratulate him on his wheeling and dealing."
Questions for D. Kahn's press conference: "On the bright side, it must have been nice to visit Spain a few times, right?"
Question for David Kahn's press conference: "Do you think the next Minnesota GM will be able to sign Rubio in 2011?"
Well said Mr. Simmons, well said.
3) Osi Umenyiora Gets Missing
Alright Bill Sheridan! Up high baby! Sheridan is a much better fit for my Cowboys than Steve Spagnuolo ever was. Hell, I hope he keep alienating his top defensive players. Is it too early to join his fan club because I'm ready now?
4) Tom Brady's Shoulder Okay, Plans To Play In MNF Opener
A collective sigh of relief could be heard coming from all the white NFL analysts at ESPN headquarters in Bristol, CT when this news broke.
5) Pacman Signs 1-Year Deal To Play In CFL
Well really, what other choice did he have?? Nobody in the NFL was gonna sign this guy so it was either this or that new league that's out that I already forgot the name of lol.
July 14, 2009
Random News Shit
Keep in mind, this report surfaces every few months about these 2 breaking up.
With that being said, if this is true, I think this is the beginning of another reason I'm more confident in my Cowboys! First the return the to Alamo for training camp, then former Cowboy T.O. goes homo, and now the Jessica Simpson curse may be broken. This offseason just keeps getting better and better! ...Well you know, as far as meaningless off the field things are concerned.
2) Ryan Signs $45M Deal To Remain 'Idol' Host
And this is $45 million over like 12 years, this is $45 million for 3 years! Three! That's $15 million a year to host American Idol! I touched on this on Twitter yesterday (yeah I made one unfortunately if you hadn't noticed), but kids should say fuck practicing a jumpshot, or getting a fast 40 time, or worrying about getting yelled at by some old white guy because you can make just as much, if not more doing nothing like Ryan Seacrest. I mean really, what does Ryan Seacrest bring to the show?? You could replace him with any random white guy and no one would care. Replace Randy, Paula, or Simon and you may have some issues (on a side note, if Seacrest is getting $15M a year, how much are the the judges making?? Geez!).
3) Russell Brand To Host 2009 VMAs
MTV obviously doesn't learn from its mistakes because after the colossal failure that was the 2008 VMAs, they've welcomed Russell Brand back to host. To be fair, Russell wasn't the only reason last year's show sucked, but if I'm MTV I'm not going to try to put that behind me and bring back the same host.
I don't know, maybe its just me. The good news is that its gonna be back in New York so it won't be in that weird, small room like last year. That shit looked like my elementary school auditorium.
4) Tom Brady Is An Asshole
That's right, I said it! I don't know if you heard about this, but this guy Dennis Paiva is being forced to re-pay Brady for 2 $8,000 planters he "stole" and sold for $450. Here's the thing about it though, the planters were NEXT TO THE TRASH. He didn't even know they belonged to Tom Brady. Now the 61 year-old is being forced to pay $4,000 restitution to Brady’s realty trust. Really Tom?? You couldn't afford to say "fuck it" and move on?? You gotta hassle this poor guy (literally) to pay you back??
Thank goodness a local businessman decided to step in and took care of the $4,000 bill. He thinks there's a good chance Tom doesn't even know about the situation, but I seriously doubt it. I mean, of course Tom wasn't present at court or cursed him out in a YouTube video, but to say Tom doesn't even know is probably wishful thinking from a Pats fan.
February 28, 2009
Chiefs Acquire Cassel From Pats
Tom Brady's rehab must be going well because today the New England Patriots agreed to send their recently franchised back up QB Matt Cassel to the Kansas City Chiefs in exchange to a 2nd round pick in this year's draft. Scott Pioli is pulling a Bill Parcells and taking all his players from his previous club. I hope it works out for both teams...but more than likely it won't lol. I'm not so confident Brady is gonna come back & have a season like he did in 2007...hell, I don't think he would've done that in 2008 if he had stayed healthy all year. And I'm really not confident that Cassel is gonna have a season like he did in 2008 because he won't that Pats O-line blocking for him, or be throwing to Moss and Welker in KC. But yeah good luck to both lol.
SOURCE
Related:
Pats To Franchise Cassel
Tom Brady Has More Knee Procedures For Infections
January 05, 2009
Pats To Franchise Cassel
Yep, the Pats will use their franchise tag to keep Matt Cassel from leaving in free agency which tells me one thing: Tom Brady's rehab is not going well. I mean if Brady looked like he was going to be okay, why would a team basically guarantee that his back up gets paid as much as him, if not more?? Because Bill Belichick is a nice guy?? I don't think so. Something is wrong with Brady's knee still and they need Cassel. Sucks for them, but I'm sure they'll have another cupcake schedule next year so it probably won't affect them much.
SOURCE
October 23, 2008
Tom Brady Has More Knee Procedures For Infections
I know I said I was glad Brady got hurt, but damn I didn't mean to jinx dude like this! So, sorry Tom Brady and New England fans lol. Though I'm sure riding around in that Aston Martin after the surgery didn't help much lol.
You know, this all makes me really appreciate Romo only being out 4 weeks.
September 07, 2008
Nightmare In New England
I was at work earlier and I was keeping track of all the games on ESPN Mobile, but when I went to check on the Pats/Chiefs game and saw "Cassel" and now Brady I started jumping for joy lol. At that point I knew he was hurt, but now its official and big bad NFL savior Tom Brady is OUT FOR THE SEASON!
Now, I don't mean to applaud somebody getting hurt, but if it was anybody I'm glad it was him lol. I was hoping for it all of last year, but now all my dreams have come true! Okay, maybe that's a bit much...oh well lol.
You know, I do have a funny feeling about this because I don't think he was ever truly healthy in the first place man maybe this is all just a cover-up but with those guys who really knows.
Romo for MVP!
SOURCE
June 07, 2008
Random News Shit
Big Brown Loses! LMAO!!
LMAO at all those idiots who bet money on Big Brown winning the Triple Crown and getting his ass smoked! Not only did that loser ass horse not win, but that shit came in fuckin' last! LMAO!!
Damn, PETA is gonna have theses muhfucka's asses on a platter Mike Vick style in a minute lol.
Lil Wayne Won't Sue Over Mixtape, Leaks
Well of course he won't sue, what is he gonna win, a couple CD burners?? Anyway, the funniest part of this is Slim saying he "don't want nothing under 1 million sold in the first week". Oh really?? Somebody should probably tell that nigga Tha Carter III leaked already last week...not to mention nobody has done that since Usher did it in 2004 with Confessions. Not even Kanye and Lil Wayne is definitely no Kanye so he doesn't stand a chance. I give him 400k first week at best, but if he does anything in the 100,000s its over for the nigga!
Clinton Throws 'Full Support' Behind Obama
This was obviously the biggest news of the day and its about damn time! She should've gave this damn shit Tuesday and got it over with lol.
Brady can't jump, slowed by effects of last year's ankle injury
What?? This nigga is still hurt?? Though this makes me very happy and wanna laugh at all the bandwagon fans of last season it kinda sucks because I think they're just saying this to use it as an excuse for them losing the big one. I don't care if its 4 months after the fact, you never know with them Patriots lol.
Rare black watermelon sells for $6,100, sets record
Ain't this about some shit???? I mean besides the fact somebody actually bought a damn watermelon for 6 stacks, "black" and "watermelon" are just too close to each other in this headline for me lol.
January 30, 2008
This Is The Why The Giants WON'T Win Super Bowl XLII
I wasn't home most of yesterday and I missed this:
Here's what Tom Brady had to say:
Oh boy... I thought the Giants would at least have a chance, but now they just might get done like the Bills or Redskins earlier this season lol. Damn, why these niggas had to start coming out the mouth knowing damn well the Pats need shit like that to win. Oh well there's always next year lol.
January 05, 2008
Surprise! Tom Brady Won MVP
First off, wow, what a great first day of football on the 1st day of wild-card weekend! Welp, if you're keep track, I'm 2-0 so far lol (whuddup Duval County?!?). It looks like the Cowboys are gonna have to play the Bucs or Giants and I think those are both winable game so I'm pleased with this weekend's outcome, but we'll see what happens tomorrow at 1pm.
Now, back to Brady. Of course he won MVP and they might as well name the trophy after him (I know they really want to lol). I think they should at least call it the MSP for this year which stands for Most Slurped Player because he's been that the entire year lol. Aight well I aint mad at Brady and I can't wait to see the Pats/Jags next week! Now THAT should be a good one. I'm out! [FULL STORY]
November 25, 2007
Moss Is More Valuable Than Brady
No offense to Tom Brady, one of my favorite NFL players of all time, but Randy Moss is the MVP of the National Football League. It ain't even close.
Seriously, denying Randy Moss this year's Associated Press MVP award would be borderline criminal. If Allen Iverson is the answer in basketball, Randy Moss is the question that no one in football can answer.
How do you stop him?
He can't be stopped; he can only slow himself, as he did for a couple of miserable years in Oakland.
Brady is on the brink of shattering every single-season passing record known to mankind and the Patriots are well on their way to smashing every scoring record. And we love nothing more in this country than showering superstar quarterbacks with awards, hype and credit.
But Randy Moss should not and cannot be denied this season. His impact on the football field is so obvious and so overwhelming that even Joe Buck should cast an MVP vote for Mr. Moss. The value of wide receivers has never been more evident than this season.
Terrell Owens earned Tony Romo a $67 million contract and paved the road Philly fans will use to escort Donovan McNabb out of town. Marvin Harrison went down with a knee injury, and Peyton Manning's feet got happy again and his interception total escalated.
Look, it's still a quarterback's league. Manning and McNabb are great players. Romo is headed for greatness. But they're significantly diminished without their favorite toys.
Moss is a kingmaker. This isn't the first time he made a good offense outstanding. The scoring record the Patriots are chasing is the standard Moss' 1998 Vikings established. In that same year, Moss, a rookie at the time, turned 35-year-old Randall Cunningham into the league's top passer. Cunningham threw 34 TDs and 10 INTs and the Vikings finished the regular season 15-1.
Denny Green looked as smart as Bill Belichick.
Randy, despite 17 TDs and 1,313 receiving yards, didn't win the MVP that year because Terrell Davis took a run at Eric Dickerson's single-season rushing record, cracking 2,000 yards.
Well, the excuse this year will be Brady's numbers. I'm not knocking Brady. He's an incredible player. He's just not as valuable as Randy Moss.
There's only one Randy Moss. When he shows up motivated, focused and ready to have fun, records fall, defenses quiver, quarterbacks have once-in-a-lifetime seasons and his teams win ... by lots of points.
Moss is doing more for Brady than Brady is doing for Moss. The same thing could be said about Cunningham and Jeff George, who both looked Elway-esque winging footballs to Moss.
This week George pointed out to me what makes Moss different from every receiver who has ever played the game.
"Intimidation," George explained. "Defensive backs are trained to turn and play the football. Guys are too scared to turn away from Randy. You'll see two DBs running with Randy, but they'll never turn and find the football because they're too afraid to take their eyes off Randy. As a quarterback, you just throw it up to Randy no matter the coverage because you know he'll be only guy looking for the football."
How many times have we seen that this season — two guys wrapped around Randy and Brady floating a ball into traffic?
This isn't a co-MVP situation. It's not a slap at Brady, one of the three best QBs of all time.
It's long overdue recognition for Moss. It's long overdue acknowledgment that receivers — given today's rules about defensive-back contact and the prevalence of three- and four-receiver offenses — can have as much impact on a game as quarterbacks.
Moss reminds me of Shaquille O'Neal. We took O'Neal for granted during his prime on the basketball court, and he won just one MVP award. In retrospect that's ridiculous. O'Neal's impact on the NBA far exceeds Steve Nash's, and Nash has won multiple MVP awards.Moss isn't likely to surpass Jerry Rice as the greatest of all time. Rice was too consistent and was a driving force in the 49ers dynasty. Rice vs. Moss will be like the Bill Russell-Wilt Chamberlain debate. Except we didn't deny Wilt a few MVP trophies.
Let's no longer deny Randy Moss. Yes, he used to be extremely immature. His effort at times was atrocious. None of that matters this year. With defenses doing everything within reason to slow him, Moss has 16 TD receptions, more than 1,000 receiving yards, the Patriots are 10-0, and, most important, Moss has made Tom Brady the second-most-valuable player in football.
SourceOctober 19, 2007
Tom Brady Is Not And Will Not Be Greatest QB Of All-Time
Sup yall? I'm back! I wrote this shit on Monday and I been waiting to post it ever since so here it is lol:
Wassup with this whole 'Brady might be the best quarterback of all-time' talk??? I was watching ESPN maybe an hour or so before I started writing What About Us?? and had heard it like 3-4 times! That's crazy! I mean besides the Marinos, Farves, and Elways of the world, who are already up there, lets not forgot about a man who still has a lot of football left to play, Peyton Manning.
Now, you could also say Manning has better receivers, but seriously who were Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, and Dallas Clark B.P. (Before Peyton)??? Exactly! And I might be alone with this next thought, but from my prospective, if you swap Brady with nearly any other starting QB in the NFL they'll have the same success on that team, in that system. Who wouldn't thrive on the Patriots?? Even aside from having a superior receiving corps, just look at the amount of time Brady has to make decisions. That Offensive line is phenomenal!
I don't know, maybe its because Tom Brady has those 3 Super Bowl rings and Manning only has one, but then if that's the case then Troy Aikman needs some G.O.A.T. consideration since he also has 3 rings playing on a great team.
Head-to-head, their numbers don't even compare. To Brady's credit, Manning has played 3 more seasons than him, but take away ANY 3 seasons of Manning's and he's STILL better (I should know I did the math).Just looking at passing yardage, if you take away Manning's top 3 season throwing the ball and compare that to Brady's as a starter, Manning still has 6,600 more yards than Brady. When it comes to throwing TDs, again if you take away Manning's 3 best seasons throwing them (49, 33, 31) he STILL has 4 more than Brady (168) does in his career. Without Manning's 3 best seasons, in virtually every passing categories, its the same! That goes for completion percentage, yards per game, passer rating, sacks, and yards lost on a sack in which Manning is better even with his 3 highest yards lost seasons added. In fact, Brady is only better than Manning in one statistical category which is interceptions where Brady only has 80 in his career and Manning has 119 without his 3 lowest seasons intercepted.
If Brady's stats don't even compare to the best in the game with his best seasons not included, then how could you say, at 30, he even has a chance at being the G.O.A.T. over the Montanas, Staubachs, and Namaths of the world?? Especially when they say Dante Culpepper is finished at 30! Yeah, I said it Dante F. Culpepper! Of course he has injuries, but his numbers are more comparable to Brady than Brady's are to Manning. In 88 career games (including the 3 he's played this season), Culpepper has 21,514 passing yards, 140 passing TDs, 7.7 YPG average, 64.1 completion percentage, 91 INTs, 257 sacks for 1,417 yards lost, and a QB rating of 90.5. In 102 career games, Brady has 23,335 passing yards, 168 passing TDs, 7.1 YPG ave, 62.5 completion percentage, 80 INTs, 188 sacks for 1,184 yards lost, and a QB rating of 90.9. No HUGE difference there, and certainly more close than in comparison to Manning.
Honestly, Brady is a consistent QB on a great team, that's about it. At the end of the day, that's all I'm trying to say. Brady is real good, but Manning is great.
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