Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition

1) Dolphins Trade Brandon Marshall To Bears

On some real shit, fuck the Dolphins! As if my Cowboys didn't have enough teams ahead of them in the NFC (Packers, Saints, Giants, etc.), they go and reunite Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler in Chicago. And do they gut the Bears in exchange for their top receiver? Nope, all they get back is 2 3rd-round picks. They traded 2 2nd-round picks to get him just 2 years ago!

But I guess that's all you can expect back in return for a 27 year-old WR coming off a Pro Bowl season of 81 catches for 1,214 yards while being thrown passes by Chad Henne and Matt Moore.

2) 49ers Sign Randy Moss
This obviously happened last night, but I forgot to talk about it.

Anyway, the deal is for 1 year and worth $2.5 million. In essence, this should make the 49ers better, but Randy Moss hasn't been Randy Moss for a couple years now.

(Side note: Am I the only one completely shocked no petty niggas have brought up how Moss and Peyton Manning are both 35 year-old NFL legends who missed the 2011 season but the white one is being courted by teams and will get paid huge money while the black one had to work out for teams and only got a 1-year deal?)

3) Bucs Land Vincent Jackson

Bad news for Phail Rivers, his #1 WR just joined the Buccaneers for $55,555,555 (ocho cincos...get it?) over the next 5 years with $26 million guaranteed.

4) Saints Keep Marques Colston

The deal is 5 years and worth $40 million with $19 million guaranteed. Good for the Saints.

5) Pierre Garcon Signs With Redskins

The Redskins also signed Josh Morgan and are on the verge of signing Eddie Royal (still no word on why he'd leave a back-up role to assume a back-up role elsewhere). Good thing receiver was their only need. Oh wait...

Anyway, I used to like Garcon, but fuck him now, he's with the enemy.

6) Cowboys Cut Terence Newman & David Buehler

Sad to see them go, but this was very necessary. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of all the cornerbacks on our roster not named Mike Jenkins or Orlando Sandrick. Then we need to sign a free agent or 2 and draft a couple of talented rookies (I definitely wouldn't mind hearing news that we traded up to get Morris Claiborne or Dre Kirkpatrick... but especially Morris Claiborne). That's how we'll fix the secondary.

And obviously getting rid of Buehler was a no-brainer.

7) Jason Campbell Signs With Bears
Smart move by Campbell, Chicago is as good a place as any to be the back-up QB.

Continue»

«Back

Brandon Marshall Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Lost in all the free agency signings and trade is Brandon Marshall coming out and saying his has a mental condition called borderline personality disorder. After reading up on BPD, it just sounds like a fancy word for what we used to call "crazy" back in the olden days. Either way, I wonder if this means he can get back all the money he's paid in fines over the years? (Another thing I wonder: How did his BPD react to finding out he'd be getting Matt Moore instead of Kyle Orton?) Maybe is wife has BPD too, and that's why she stabbed him? You never know, man, you never know.

Anyway, I wonder how many other athletes have BPD? Did Ron Artest have it back in his Pacer days? How about Pacman Jones? His actions are always very BPD-ish. Milton Bradley? Sean Avery? Tonya Harding? Rae Carruth? They all could have BPD and not know it.

Hey, I've got an idea, maybe we should start a "get tested for BPD" campaign? We could make one of those commercials where a bunch of people read one thing and it's cut into little 2 second bits and pasted together. We could have a BPD awareness drive and give out straitjackets and things that count to 10 slowly. Oh, and if we're lucky, we could get a BPD awareness day, or hell, even a BPD awareness month (April, I'm looking at you). And best of all, Brandon Marshall would become to BDP what Magic Johnson was to HIV. Wouldn't that be awesome? Of course it would! (Note to self: start on this immediately!)

SOURCE

Continue»

«Back

Brandon Marshall Stabbed By His Wife

Bad times for Brandon Marshall, he went from playing ball with Ochocinco one minute to stab victim the next. After the stabbing by his wife Michi Nogami-Marshall, Marshall was taken to Broward General Hospital (aka the hospital responsible for me making it here safely so I can torment folks now) and the wife was arrested.

Good news though, despite being in ICU, no vital organs were hit and after surgery last night the doctors say he should be fully recovered in a few weeks. Good, now he'll be up and walking when he gets news that Roger Goodell has decided to suspend him again.

Speaking of the Dictator Goodell, since I'm sure it's illegal for Dolphins officials to talk to Marshall during the lockout, I wonder if Broward General would let me in to visit him? I doubt it, but it'd be cool if they did. Welp, one person we know won't be visiting him for sure is his wife, as she still remains in jail.

SOURCE

Continue»

«Back

Dolphins Land Brandon Marshall For 2nd Round Picks

What's going on in the AFC East?? First the Jets start landing players left and right and now the Dolphins have got into the action trading 2 second round picks for Brandon Marshall. Years ago, all these moves would have been made by the Patriots.

Anyway, B. Marshall gets a new 4 year, $47.5 million contract for coming to South Florida and all of a sudden the Dolphins are real contenders. Chad Henne finally has somebody to throw to, and now they don't have to use that 12th pick on a receiver. Or they still could take Dez Bryant and line him up on the other side of Marshall. Man, that would be a problem!

Another missed opportunity for Jerry Jones though. If Denver took Kyle Orton and some drfat picks in exchange for Jay Cutler, I think they'd take Roy Williams and maybe a 3rd or 4th rounder for Marshall. Oh well, I'm happy with our WR corps (outside of Roy of course) anyway.

SOURCE

Continue»

«Back

Random News Shit: Free Agency Friday Edition

1) Julius Peppers Signs 6-Year, $91.5 Deal With Bears
And out of that $91.5 million, $42 million is guaranteed. Hopefully this works out for the Bears, but I could easily see it not. Not saying Peppers isn't a great player, but he's been known to take seasons off. Welp, better the Bears than the Cowboys, I say.

Now in addition to overpaying bringing in Peppers, the Bears also signed RB Chester Taylor and TE Brandon Manumaleuna today. Not bad moves, but I've gotta wonder why Chester felt Chicago was the best landing spot for him?? If he didn't want to split time and wanted to become a starter, why not go to a team without a clear cut starter like San Diego or Washington?? Matt Forte is only entering his 3rd season, he's not going anywhere and is still the man in Chicago.

2) Cards Trade Anquan Boldin To Ravens
Wow, wow, wow! Watch out for the Ravens next year! Joe Flacco has got to be through the roof right now. Hell, the entire city of Baltimore must be. I mean, not only did they just acquire one of the top WRs in the league, but they did so by only giving up 3rd and 4th round picks (a far cry from my Cowboys' infamous 1st, 3rd, and 5th for Roy Williams). I'm jealous.

(Side note: I totally wouldn't have minded giving up our 3rd & 4th round picks this year to pair Miles Austin with Anquan Boldin and cutting our losses with Roy Williams. Hell, we probably could've thrown Roy in the deal and note have had to give up 1 of those picks. Dammit, dammit, dammit!)

3) Jake Delhomme Released By Panthers
Congrats to my homie Justin, your nightmare is finally over lol. This is a year overdue at the least, Delhomme is probably more done than even LaDainian Tomlinson.

Here's the question though, why cut him?? You're still going to have to pay him the $12.5 from the retarded extension you gave him last year, so why not keep him on the bench to mentor Matt Moore?? Then again, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea because I have no idea what Jake was seeing out there the past couple years lol.

It'll be interesting to see if he catches on anywhere else. You never know.

4) Jets Get Antonio Cromartie From Chargers
Looks like the Jets repeated what happened in the playoffs and steal one from the Chargers. New York pairs All-Pro Cromartie with the ultimate shutdown corner in Darrelle Revis for just a 3rd round pick (that could turn into a 2nd round pic) in the 2011 draft. That's right, they didn't even have to give up anything in this year's draft! The AFC East just got that much more tough.

5) Brandon Marshall To Visit With Seahawks
Why?? Brandon does know the Seahawks basically don't even have a QB, right?? There's plenty better destinations for him (*cough* Dallas *cough*) so I don't put much stock in this visit.

6) Dolphins Sign Karlos Dansby, Release Joey Porter, Akin Ayodele & Gibril Wilson
Dansby leaves Arizona for Miami and a 5-year $43 million contact with $22 million in guarantees. I don't think its too early to say they overpaid a tad.

Anyway, Porter gets his wish of being released, and I'm sure he'll be picked up soon enough, but he takes LB Akin Ayodele and S Gibril Wilson with him. I'm not sure why the 'Phins cut ties with Wilson, he was only on the team for one year.

7) Giants Agree To Terms With Antrel Rolle
Dammit! I wanted Rolle in Dallas and not he's going to our rivals in New York! I'm really pissed about this and I don't even think we were in contention to bring him in lol.

Anyway, the deal is 5-years and worth $37 million.

8) Vince Wilfolk Gets New Deal From New England
I can't believe it, the Patriots actually paid somebody! The extension is over a 5-year period and is worth $40 million, making Wilfork the highest paid nose tackle in the league. Congrats are in order for the money, but even more congrats are in order for convincing the Pats to give somebody what they're worth.

9) Josh Cribbs Gets His Deal Re-Structured
The Browns redid the last 3 years of their best player's contact and its now worth a max of $18.5 million with $7 million in guaranteed money. Not bad, especially for a kick returner. I just hope they don't try to make him a big part of their offense to justify it because that has totally ruined Devin Hester's career.

10) Colts Re-Sign Gary Brackett
The new deal is also for 5-years and is good for $33 million. Smart move by the Colts, what else can I say??

11) Lions Sign Kyle Vanden Bosch, Nate Burleson
Vanden Bosch gets 4 years for $26 million, and Burleson gets 5 years for $25 million. Nice moves by the Lions.

12) Falcons Agree To Terms With CB Dunta Robinson
The details of this deal haven't emerged yet, but just know Dunta Robinson is now an Atlanta Falcon.

Continue»

«Back

Random News Shit: Last Days Of The NFL Season Edition

1) Freeney Misses Final Colts' Practice, Wayne Back
All week everybody has been talking about Dwight Freeney and will he play, or won't he, and I have yet to hear anybody bring up DeMarcus Ware. What does D. Ware have to do with this game?? Sadly, nothing, well besides the fact that back in Week 15 he dominated the Saints offensive line while only playing 3rd downs and 6 days removed from a sprained neck.

Yeah, they are 2 totally different injuries, but if Ware can make an impact after being carted off on a stretcher 6 days earlier, I don't see why Freeney can't be effective in this game today, even if he's limited.

Now, as far as Reggie Wayne goes, its good for the Colts that they have him back out there. Without Reggie out there drawing so much attention, it'd be harder for the Austin Collies and Pierre Garcons of the world to get open.

2) Joey Porter Wants Out Of Miami
Well this sucks for the Dolphins. It also seems dumb to me. I don't even know what to say, but I'd love to have him in Dallas.

3) Warren Sapp Arrested & Charged With Domestic Battery
Super Bowl weekend in Miami just isn't the same without a few arrests. We all knew it was just a matter of time, but it finally happened. I thought it'd be an active player, but this is well enough.

Anyway, details are pretty sketchy still, but we do know this: Warren Sapp was arrested and charged with domestic battery for allegedly choking some lady out in his hotel room, and has since been released on $1,500 bond. Warren has also been removed from the NFL Network's coverage team until the investigation is over (aka he got fired and not only won't you see him on the panel today, but he won't be there next season either). Sucks for him, but he's got to be smarter than to put himself into these kinda situations.

4) Browns To Release Donte' Stallworth Upon Reinstatement
Speaking of having to be smarter than to put yourselves in these kinda situation (especially in Miami), Donte' Stallworth will be reinstated at some point today by Roger Goodell. When that happens, the Browns organization says he'll need to find a new team to call a disgrace to play for, because he's getting released!

Stallworth is still relatively young (29) so I also wouldn't mind having him in Dallas. Its not gonna happen, but I'd take him and his run-after-the-catch abilities over Roy Williams and his run-before-the-catch abilities.

5) Pat Bowlen Wants Brandon Marshall Back Next Season
Makes sense, he's a game-breaking receiver and is still only 25 years-old. Yeah, he can be a headache at times, but fuck it, you traded away his quarterback so deal with it.

6) Jerry Rice & Emmitt Smith Headline 7-Man Hall Of Fame Class
Here's the list: Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, G Russ Grimm, LB Rickey Jackson, CB Dick LeBeau, RB Floyd Little, and DT John Randle. Its about time they put Dick LeBeau through, ain't he about 84 now??

Continue»

«Back

Random News Shit: Sports Recap 12/10-12/13

December 10th

Brian Kelly To Replace Charlie Weis As Notre Dame Head Coach
Yet another reason to hate the NCAA. This is so fucked up! Dez Bryant can't go visit Deion Sanders, but Brian Kelly can interview for, and accept a job at another school during the season. I don't blame those kids at Cincinnati for being pissed, their leader is allowed to abandon them before the biggest game in school history (the Sugar Bowl against Florida). If a kid wants to trade schools, he has to sit out a season, a coach can just leave whenever they feel like it. Again, fucked up!

December 11th

Tiger Woods Leaves Golf Indefinitely
To be fair, Tiger probably wouldn't have played in any of these upcoming small touraments at the top of the year regardless. I say he comes back for the Masters in April. After all, we all know Tiger only cares about the majors.

December 12th

Kobe Bryant Fractures Bone In Right Index Finger
This seemed like a bigger deal back on the 12th when it happened. Definitely more so than it does now, 1 day after he hit 39 and a game-winner against the Bucks in Milwaukee.

Kansas Hires Gill Turner
Its about time the fucked up NCAA benefited a black man.

Penn State's Women Volleyball Team Wins 100th Straight
I'm not down with the NCAA, but I love that women's volleyball! Those fine ass girls in those tiny ass shorts, its great. In fact, we need more women's volleyball on TV. I don't care if it broadcasts on Lifetime, I'd watch! This picture says it all.

...And don't even get me started on beach volleyball! My, my, my!

Mark Ingram Wins 75th Heisman Throphy
A lot of college sports shit late last week, maybe that's why I checked out mentally?? Whatever. Can you believe Ingram was the first player in Alabama history to win the Heisman?? I can't. I mean, of course I don't really care, but that's still pretty remarkable.

December 13th

Brandon Marshall Breaks T.O.'s NFL Record With 21 Catches
This guy is a BEAST! His 21 catches were obviously the most on his team (duh lol), but it was more than the Colts had as a team! The most amazing part of this story is that the Broncos lost. If I told you Brandon Marshall was gonna explode for 21 catches and 200 yards, you would've told me the Colts would suffer their first loss of the season. But they didn't. That says a lot about the Colts.

DeMarcus Ware Carted Off With Neck Sprain
Ware seems to be just fine now and may play Saturday night so this is whatever now.

Continue»

«Back

Broncos Suspend Brandon Marshall Indefinitely

After Brandon acting out at practice yesterday, head coach Josh McDaniels informed him that he'd been suspended indefinitely for "conduct detrimental to the team" today.

Why don't they just trade this man?? That's going to be the only way to resolve this problem. I know you don't wanna set the precedence that you give every player what they want, but there is no other solution here. The Broncos just need to realized they fucked up by bringing Josh McDaniels in who fucked up by wanting to bring in Matt Cassel which fucked around and pissed off Jay Cutler and now their QB is playing for the Bears and their best WR is understandable upset.

Yes, it really IS that simply. You can believe Brandon doesn't trust the training staff or front office or wants a new contract if you want, but the REAL reason he's unhappy is because Jay Cutler isn't there anymore. He knows its not gonna be easy to put up 100 catch, 1,200 yard season with Kyle Orton throwing him the ball. And why would he think its gonna be easy when Orton keeps throwing the ball to the other team??

Okay, so what are the Broncos options?? 1) They could keep Brandon and have him not produce for them because he's unhappy, but that doesn't help you win. 2) They could release him, but then they lose a Pro Bowl WR for nothing. 3) They could trade him and get some value for him.

I think I'm gonna have to go with option 3!

Undoubtedly the Broncos fucked this up in a major way because now that Brandon on the field as well as off the field, they're going to get much less value for him than they would have if they traded him weeks ago when he first asked. At the end of the day though, they can still, and should still trade him because they are going to get something.

If they're still interested in downgrading in the position they're trading away (Cutler to Orton was a MAJOR downgrade), might I suggest giving a call to Jerry Jones and inquiring about Roy Williams?? Yeah, I know it'd never happen, but check out this deal: Brandon Marshall to Dallas in exchange for Roy Williams and a 2nd round draft pick in 2010. Hell, I'd even give away a first round pick to get Brandon is a Cowboys uniform! How could you turn down that deal if you were the Cowboys?? You erase the mistake that was trading for Roy Williams and you get a big play thread WR again! Do it Jerry, do it!

Not to mention all the sense it makes for Denver! Kyle Orton can't throw that far to begin with. Roy Williams isn't a big play threat and basically only can get you about 10-12 yards at a time. Sounds like a match made in mediocre offensive Heaven! Do it Jerry, do it!

All this wishful thinking is starting to make this trade sound better and better to me and is making it feel like a real possibility lol. Okay so let me stop with all the speculations before my head explodes.

On another note, can't wait for that Broncos/Bears game in Denver this Sunday on NBC!

SOURCE

Continue»

«Back

Random News Shit: NFL Edition

1) Brandon Marshall Asks For Trade
You already know the first thing I thought when I heard this new breaking on SportsCenter "Bring him to Dallas!" Yeah, I know it would never happen, but I like to hold out hope that my 'Boys would send Roy Williams and some other pieces to the Broncos for Marshall. I know he's a woman-beater, but dude can flat out ball!

On another note, what's really going on in Denver?? First the star QB wants out, and now the star WR?? Marshall is blaming it on lack of trust in the medical staff, but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't like the new coach much either. Must be tough being a Broncos fan these days.

2) Plaxico's Case Adjourned Until Sept. 23rd
They say this case probably won't go to trial for another year or two so my question is do you want Plax on your team??

3) Donte Stallworth To Take Plea Deal; Serve Time
I never really talked about this whole Stallworth thing, but I'm glad to see its over. He also came to some kinda deal with the family and they're getting paid!

4) Ocho Cinco Plans To Move In With QB Palmer & Family In July
LMAO!! That boy Chad is too much! lol. As a lot of you may or may not know, HBO's Hard Knocks will follow the Bengals this season and I guess Ocho Cinco living with Carson Palmer and his family to "make up for lost time" will be a part of the show. This should be good! Now the only question that looms is, do Carson and his family actually want some nigga from Miami with gold teeth living with them?? I think not lol.

5) Ellis Signs 3-Year Deal With Raiders
R.I.P. to Greg Ellis' career. You'll be missed.

Continue»

«Back

Brandon Marshall Calls Out Joey Porter

The other day Joey Porter called Brandon "Baby T.O." Marshall "soft" and B responded in grand fashion:



Hilarious!

Continue»

«Back