I wish I would've known this existed back when that whole Manning/Broncos/Tebow/Jets thing was going down, but oh well, this shit is still hilarious. My favorite part is when they mention Mark Sanchez and bust out laughing lol.
Showing posts with label Tim Tebow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tim Tebow. Show all posts
April 06, 2012
Satan & Jesus Discuss Peyton Manning
March 21, 2012
Tim Tebow Traded To The Jets
"You're going to hate me in 4 months" --Tim Tebow on November 17th
Wow, wow, wow! I knew there would be a market for Tim Tebow, but not the biggest market in America. Even though I knew Tim Tebow wouldn't end up in Jacksonville (for reasons I stated yesterday), I'm totally shocked the Jets would make this move. I'm not surprised they showed interest, because like I said Monday, Tony Sparano (the guy who brought the Wildcat back) is the new offensive coordinator there, but I never thought they would actually do it. They're basically begging for their locker room to be divided.
Poor Mark Sanchez, as if the pressure wasn't on enough, he gets the displeasure of fans clamoring for Tim Tebow with every incompletion and interception. I know it's going to be hard, but he needs to take his dick out of Kate Upton immediately and hit the practice field because if he doesn't have a Drew Brees, Tom Brady-like season, he's going to be in Hell.
And as far as the Broncos go, throwing Tim Tebow into such a potentially volatile situation probably isn't going to help reverse any of that bad karma.
(Side note: The Dolphins lose again.)
Random News Shit: NFL Free Agency Edition Pt. 3
Anyway, Peyton's deal is for 5 years and worth $96 million. Does anyone actually think Peyton has 5 years left in the NFL?
What?! I totally can't believe there's a market for a quarterback who took a 1-4 team to the playoffs and won a playoff game.
The more I hear everyone say the Jaguars should get Tim Tebow, the more I'm positive there's no way the Jags will get Tim Tebow. If the Broncos are interested in trying to reverse some of the bad karma they've gained, asking Tebow where he'd like to go would probably help.
3) Hines Ward Retires
Damn, I guess he really was serious about not wanting to play for anybody but the Steelers.
The Steelers might be in for a little bad karma themselves because they definitely did Hines dirty. There's no loyalty in this sports shit, which is why I say go get the money if you have the opportunity and fuck everybody who talks about players should want to win championships blah, blah, blah.
Alex knows damn well his ass wasn't going anywhere. Try to put together back-to-back competent seasons before you try your luck in the free agent market.
5) Eagles Land DeMeco Ryans From Texans For 4th Round Pick
FUCK!
What do you do when you get shunned by a legendary old QB who missed the 2011 season due to injury? Well if you're the Dolphins, you sign an average old QB who missed the 2011 season due to injury...and the fact nobody wanted him. Awesome.
You mean to tell me fans weren't excited about getting rejected by everyone from Peyton Manning to Matt Flynn and the eventual David Garrard signing?? That I just can't believe.
8) Jaguars Sign Aaron Ross
He's never really done much damage to the Cowboys, but I guess this is a positive move for my Boys.
March 19, 2012
Peyton Picks Broncos + Top 5 Reasons It Won't Work
"I bet Jesus didn't tell you I was coming to take your job in a couple years." --Peyton Manning
I can't believe it, Peyton Manning has willingly decided to be a Denver Bronco! Sure, they have some pieces, but is this a better situation than he's shunning in San Francisco, Tennessee, or Arizona? I guess we'll have to wait and see, but without further ado, the top 5 reason Peyton Manning won't work in Denver:
5. No dome
From the beginning, I thought Peyton Manning would choose to play for the Arizona Cardinals for one reason and one reason only: They play in a dome. Not to take away from the greatness of Peyton, but for 8 games a year, every year he played in a dome, and obviously Mile High is dome-less.
(Note: The only time Peyton has ever loss in Denver was in 2005 in the last game of the season when he only threw 2 passes and sat out the rest of the game.)
4. Cold weather city
Not only do the Broncos not play indoors, but it gets old as balls in Denver. Will Peyton's fused neck hold up under those weather conditions? And that's not to mention that he has been known to struggle (for Peyton Manning standards at least) playing outdoors in the cold.
3. They play the Chargers twice a year
Yes, the Broncos are most likely going to win the terrible, terrible AFC West every year Peyton is under center, but don't forget that the only team that has owned him more than the Patriots is the Chargers, and now he has to face them twice a year.
2. Too much bad karma
I'm sure most Denver fans will welcome Manning with open arms, but why would the good Lord allow them to win a Super Bowl when they've treated Tim Tebow the way they have? It's no military secret that John Elway and John Fox never wanted Tebow, and now they finally have an excuse to run him out of town. That alone is enough to saddle you with more bad karma than an organization needs.
(Side note: ESPN is talking a lot about no teams potentially being interested in Tebow besides the Jaguars, but I could think of a few that could use his services, starting with the Miami Dolphins. Yes, there organization stinks, which is likely why no one wants to sign there, but they don't really have a QB and they've been a run first team for awhile now (even though Tony Sparano and his wildcat offense is gone). The Jets could possibly have some interest because their QB sucks, they're a run first team, and Tony Sparano is the offensive coordinator. Lastly, I think the Patriots would be interested in Tebow. Of course he wouldn't start, but Josh McDaniels (the guy who drafted Tebow) is the offensive coordinator there, so you can't rule it out.)
1. The Denver Broncos suck!
I guess Peyton didn't factor in the fact that the Broncos have an average roster at best. Tebow detractors like to point the defense as the reason Denver won all those games last year and made it to the playoffs, but wasn't that the same defense that was on the field when they started the season 1-4 Pre-Tebow? Wasn't that the same defense that Tom Brady threw 5 touchdowns on in the first half in the playoffs?
And don't even get me started on their offense. They have a couple nice young receivers in Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker, but what else? Are they gonna rush 30 year-old Willis McGahee into the ground again? Can they rely on Knowshon Moreno to not get hurt for once? Who's the tight end? The offensive line couldn't even keep Tim Tebow upright against New England's garbage ass defense, now they're going to keep Peyton Manning from taking a career-ending hit? Good luck with that.
SOURCE
February 02, 2012
Extra-Ordinary Tebow
On Wednesday, John Legend stopped by to debate Skip Bayless and dropped off this gem about Skip's beloved Tim Tebow. Good stuff.
January 11, 2012
Blue & Orange
This video was actually uploaded December 26th and has nothing to do with the Broncos beating the Steelers Sunday...or does it? *Dun, dun, DUUUNNNNN!*
December 18, 2011
December 13, 2011
Tim Tebow - All He Does Is Win
I missed First Take (and all sports-related shows) Monday for obvious Cowboys reasons, so I missed this greatness. I don't regret the decision, but it's a shame I'm seeing this one day late because Dallas' defense couldn't hold a 12 point lead with under 6 minutes to go.
October 29, 2011
Y.O.W.P.R.: The Tim Tebow Song
I swear, if Tim Tebow ever leads the Broncos to a Super Bowl, the earth will explode. Until then, let's go Tebowing!
September 01, 2011
Skip Bayless In Madden 12
Did you see the highlights from that Lions-Pats game? Ocho isn't beating anyone right now, even Skip Bayless.
I know my Cowboys have a porous secondary, but gotdamn Skip got beat every damn play. Fitz is good, but shit!
August 08, 2010
Tim Tebow's New Haircut
Unfortunately for the Cowboys rookie linemen, Tebow wasn't the only one who got a bad haircut recently. Check out Sam Young, Phil Costa, and Will Barker's new do's and then take a look at Mike Tepper's.
No wonder Dez Bryant wanted no parts of this bullshit.
April 22, 2010
Random News Shit: NFL Headlines Edition
I guess that seems about right. Be clear though, this was the lightest suspension he could've gotten. Yeah, they floated the idea of 4 games out there on Monday, but there was NO WAY that was actually gonna happen.
Welp, I know one NFL player who will never fuck in a public restroom again lol.
2) Roethlisberger Also On Trade Block
I discussed this possibility back when the Steelers traded Santonio Holmes, but I never thought they'd seriously give it much thought. Clearly they have now that we know they are openly shopping Big Ben.
I'm not sure they'll pull the trigger though, even if the deal is really enticing. Then again, they did trade Holmes for a bag of beans, so who's to know. All I know is that if the Steelers don't trade Ben by the end of the draft, that probably means they aren't going to.
Bill Simmons mentioned it in his draft column yesterday, but why wouldn't the Raiders offer up the #8 overall pick and some other picks and get Big Ben?? It make perfect sense, and it would be right up Al Davis' alley if he were still alive. Its not like talking a O-lineman with the #8 pick is gonna make JaMarcus Russell any better anyway. I'm just saying.
3) Tebow Decides Not To Attend NFL Draft
Why was he even considering going?? Besides the fact that the NFL saw fit to split a 7 round draft up into 3 days, but Tebow could be nothing but embarrassed in the situation because he is NOT going in the first round anyway. Its just not gonna happen. I can definitely see early 2nd round, but 1st round is just unrealistic, and he would've just been sitting there alone looking like a dumbass when his name wasn't called at the end of the (now) first day of the draft.
4) Jason Taylor Signs With Rival Jets
I'm not mad at J.T. for leaving, I'm not mad at him for going to a heated rival, I just don't get why he's doing it to himself. He wants to be in Miami, end of story. Now, its not sure if Miami even offered him a deal, but I don't see this Jets experiment ending well.
September 27, 2009
Tim Tebow: Hurt & Hospitalized
Anyway, the culprit in this situation is Taylor Wyndham. He's the one who hit Tebow and drove the back of his head into Marcus Gilbert's knee. He knows he's going to hell now, right?? Oh okay, just checking lol.
SOURCE
January 11, 2009
Tebow Staying In School
Thank goodness for him. I mean why come out and be a 3rd or 4th rounder when you can go back to school, get better, and possibly win a 2nd Heisman and 3rd National Championship??
Related:
Gators Win BCS National Championship
Why???: Tebow Thinking About NFL??
January 08, 2009
Gators Win BCS National Championship
No surprise here though it was closer than I thought it would be. The final was 24-14 and I'm sure Tim Tebow is about to be crowned MVP. He through to picks in the first half, but still finished 18/30 for 232 and 108 yards rushing. Percy Harvin should also get some consideration with his 171 all purpose yards. He made some HUGE plays in this game on the bum ankle, especially after that dick hole pulled his foot after the play was over. Speaking of big plays, how big was that INT by that kid Black?? That was sweet!
Anyway, this is UF's 3rd Nation Championship in school history. You know I was actually gonna go to UF, but I didn't wanna write the essay. Bad decision. I regret it to this day lol.
December 19, 2008
Hansbrough Sets UNC's Career Scoring Mark
Take note Tim Tebow. Tyler Hansbrough knows he'll be nothing more than a role player at the most on the next level so he stuck around and set a record. That's what you should do. Whatever you do, stay in school Tebow.
Anyway, good job Psycho T. You realized you're just a great college player so you're making the most of it. I mean this is a great record, but great NBA players now-a-days don't do this kinda stuff. How many college scoring records do Kobe, LeBron, and KG have?? Oh yeah, zero, they went straight to the NBA. Not taking away anything from Hansbrough's mark, but it just goes to shows how college sports have changed.
SOURCE
December 18, 2008
Why???: Tebow Thinking About NFL??
I was just reading this story about Tim Tebow being curious about where he'd go in the '09 draft if he decided to leave early, and I just wanted to say: Tim, don't do it! Unless you plan on converting to fullback, you will NOT see the field on an NFL team. Even sadder than that, after his great collegiate career, he probably won't even be a high draft pick.
Just stay in school Tim. You're a hero in Gainesville and a legend in college football history. Why mess that up?? Go back, try to win a 3rd national title (he'll win his 2nd Jan. 8th), and 2nd Heisman next year. After that, you can enter the draft if you want, but don't go messing up your legend by leaving too early when you're not wanted.
December 08, 2007
Surprise! And The Winner Is... Tim Tebow!
Yeah I know this one is a shocker, but Florida's Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy:
Honestly, even though we all knew he'd win, I would've voted for Colt Brennan, but I guess that's why I don't get a vote lol.
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