Future Can't Afford To Turn On The Lights

This is especially the best thing ever associated with the rapper Garbage Ass Future.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 9/20/12

Seven albums debuted in the top 10 this week and not one of them were Hip-Hop albums, so let's move along.

Oh wait, nothing going on in the Hot 100 either. Let's move forward.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Dave Matthews Band - Away From The World (1)
2. Little Big Town - Tornado (2)
3. Bob Dylan - Tempest (3)
4. The Avett Brothers - The Carpenter (4)
5. The xx - Coexist (5)
6. ZZ Top - La Futura (6)
7. Imagine Dragons - Night Visions (2-7)
8. Matchbox Twenty - North (1-8)
9. Various Artists - Now 43 (4-9)
10. Amanda Palmer - Theatre Is Evil (10)

• DMX's Undisputed debuts at #19 with 17,400 sold. I knew it was over, but now it's really over.

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Maroon 5 - One More Night (2-1)
2. Taylor Swift -  We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (1-2)
3. fun. - Some Nights (4-3)
4. Flo Rida - Whistle (3-4)
5. P!nk - Blow Me (One Last Kiss) (6-5)
6. Justin Bieber - As Long As You Love Me (7-6)
7. Ellie Goulding - Lights (5-7)
8. Alex Clare - Too Close (10-8)
9. Owl City & Carly Raw Jepsen - Good Time (9-9)
10. Neon Trees - Everybody Talks (8-10)

• Holy shit, don't look now, but Psy's Gangnam Style is the #11 song in AMERICA after jumping 53 spots from last week's debut at #64.
• G.O.O.D. Music's Clique with Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Big Sean also makes a huge leap, jumping 43 spots 55-12.
• Ne-Yo's Let Me Love You hops 13 spots 50-37.
• Garbage Ass Future's Turn On The Lights jumps 10 spots 66-56.
• Lil Wayne's No Worries skies 38 spots 96-58.
• Karmin's Hello jumps 13 spots 77-64.
• Juicy J's Bandz A Make Her Dance featuring Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz debuts at #71.
• Beyonce's Dance For You hops 10 spots 100-90.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 8/30/12

Trey Songz grabs his first #1 album as Chapter V debuts atop the Billboard 200 with 135,000 sold. DJ Khaled's new album Kiss The Ring debuts at #4 with 41,000 sold. For the first time in 79 weeks, Adele's 21 is not in the top 10, falling 8-12. She'll likely return next week, but it's worth noting.

Pretty boring week in the top 10 of the Hot 100 this week.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Trey Songz - Chapter V (1)
2. 2 Chainz - Based On A T.R.U. Story (1-2)
3. Various Artists - Now 43 (2-3)
4. DJ Khaled - Kiss The Ring (4)
5. Justin Bieber - Believe (6-5)
6. Maroon 5 - Overexposed (5-6)
7. Owl City - The Midsummer Station (7)
8. Rick Ross - God Forgives, I Don't (3-8)
9. Tenth Avenue North - The Struggle (9)
10. One Direction - Up All Night (7-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (1-1)
2. Flo Rida - Whistle (2-2)
3. Ellie Goulding - Lights (3-3)
4. Maroon 5 - One More Night (9-4)
5. fun. - Some Nights (6-5)
6. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe (4-6)
7. Katy Perry - Wide Awake (5-7)
8. Maroon 5 - Payphone (7-8)
9. Owl City & Carly Raw Jepsen - Good Time (13-9)
10. Justin Bieber - As Long As You Love Me (8-10)

• Chris Brown's Don't Wake Me Up jumps 12 more spots 41-29.
• Trey Songz's 2 Reasons with T.I. hops 9 spots 54-45.
• French Montana's Pop That featuring Rick Ross, Drake, and Lil Wayne slides 13 spaces 61-48.
• Miguel's Adorn also moves 10 spots north 68-58.
• Future's shitty Turn The Lights jumps 10 spots 78-68.
• Ne-Yo's Let Me Love You jumps 14 spots 88-74.
• Trey Songz's Dive In debuts at #93.
• Slaughterhouse's Throw That featuring Eminem debuts at #98.
• Chief Keef's awful I Don't Like debuts at #100.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 4/26/12

Lionel Richie's Tuskegee remains #1 for a 2nd week. What is this, 1986?? Believe it or not, 41,000 people bought Garbage Ass Future's (his new name) shitty album Pluto and it debuts at #8. I know that's still not a whole lot, but nobody should be buying that trash.

Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know also remains at #1 for another week, while Maroon 5's Payphone featuring Wiz Khalifa debuts at #3.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Lionel Richie - Tuskegee (1-1)
2. Jason Mraz - Love Is a Four Letter Word (2)
3. Adele - 21 (2-3)
4. Train - California 37 (4)
5. One Direction - Up All Night (5-5)
6. Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (3-6)
7. Gotye - Making Mirrors (7-7)
8. Future - Pluto (8)
9. Bonnie Raitt - Slipstream (6-9)
10. Luke Bryan - Tailgates & Tanlines (13-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know (1-1)
2. fun. - We Are Young (2-2)
3. Maroon 5 - Payphone (3)
4. Justin Bieber - Boyfriend (5-4)
5. The Wanted - Glad You Came (3-5)
6. Flo Rida - Wild Ones (6-6)
7. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe (8-7)
8. One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful (4-8)
9. Nicki Minaj - Starships (7-9)
10. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) (9-10)

• Mac Miller's Loud debuts at #53.
• Rick Ross' Stay Schemin featuring Drake and French Montana debuts at #58. I'm surprised this took so long to crack the Hot 100.
• Pitbull's Back In Time off the "Men In Black 3" soundtrack jumps 18 spots 83-65.
• Chris Brown's Sweet Love debuts at #89.
• John Legend's Tonight (Best You Ever Had) with Ludacris debuts at #97.
• Garbage Ass Future's Same Damn Time debuts at #100.

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This Week In Flops 4/17/12

Did you know the pathetic excuse for a rapper that calls himself Future had an album that dropped today? Well he did and now it's time to guess what his first week numbers will be. I'm going with 10-30k. I can't think of one reason any human would want this garbage, but I'm sure there's enough fools out there for him to shift at least 10,000 first week.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 3/22/12

One Direction's Up All Night debuts atop the Billboard 200 and denies Adele's 21's 25th week at #1.

Fun.'s We Are Young remains at #1 for another week.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. One Direction - Up All Night (1)
2. Adele - 21 (2-2)
3. Guns N Roses - Greatest Hits (31-3)
4. Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball (1-4)
5. Passion - Passion: White Flag (5)
6. Whitney Houston - Whitney: The Greatest Hits (6-6)
7. Drake - Take Care (7-7)
8. Various Artists - Now 41 (3-8)
9. Gotye - Making Mirrors (16-9)
10. fun. - Some Nights (13-10)

• Tech N9ne's Klusterfuk EP debuts at #15 with 17,000 sold.

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. fun. - We Are Young (1-1)
2. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) (2-2)
3. The Wanted - Glad You Came (4-3)
4. Adele - Set Fire To The Rain (3-4)
5. Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know (5-5)
6. Nicki Minaj - Starships (9-6)
7. David Guetta - Turn Me On (6-7)
8. Drake - Take Care (7-8)
9. Flo Rida - Wild Ones (12-9)
10. Katy Perry - Part Of Me (10-10)

• Rihanna's Birthday Cake slides 10 spots 49-39.
• Usher's Climax jumps 13 spots 58-45.
• Karmin's Brokenhearted soars 24 spots 84-60 in its 2nd week.
• Future's new bullshit song Magic with T.I. hops 12 spots 91-79.
• Young Jeezy's Leave You Alone featuring Ne-Yo debuts at #95.

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Thursday Billboard Update - 3/8/12

Adele's 21 easily grabs a 23rd non-consecutive week at #1 with another 247,000 copies sold. Whitney Houston's Whitney: The Greatest Hits still remains at #2 with another 112,000 sold. Debuting at #3 is KiD CuDi likely shitty collaborative album WZRD with 66,000 sold. Whitney's The Bodyguard soundtrack climbs 1 spot 6-5 43,000 sold, and her self-titled album Whitney Houston slides 1 spots 9-10 with 25,000 sold.

Fun.'s We Are Young climbs 2 spots and becomes the first Rock #1 since Coldplay's Viva La Vida in June of 2008.

The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold

1. Adele - 21 (1-1)
2. Whitney Houston - Whitney: The Greatest Hits (2-2)
3. WZRD - WZRD (3)
4. Various Artists - Now 41 (5-4)
5. Whitney Houston - The Bodyguard sdtk (6-5)
6. Tyga - Careless World: Rise Of The Last King (4-6)
7. Adele - 19 (7-7)
8. Drake - Take Care (13-8)
9. Rihanna - Talk That Talk (14-9)
10. Whitney Houston - Whitney Houston (9-10)

The Billboard Hot 100 1-10
first time top 10's in bold

1. fun. - We Are Young (3-1)
2. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) (1-2)
3. Adele - Set Fire To The Rain (2-3)
4. The Wanted - Glad You Came (5-4)
5. Katy Perry - Part Of Me (4-5)
6. Nicki Minaj - Starships (10-6)
7. Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa - Young, Wild & Free (9-7)
8. David Guetta - Turn Me On (8-8)
9. Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know (16-9)
10. Rihanna - We Found Love (6-10)

• Flo Rida's Wild Ones jumps 16 more spots 35-19.
• Adele's Rumour Has It flies 12 spots 51-39.
• Kirko Bangz's Drank In My Cup soars 28 spots 96-68.
• Nicki Minaj's Roman Reloaded featuring Lil Wayne debuts at #70.
• Travis Porter's Ayy Ladies featuring Tyga debuts at #88.
• Garbage ass Future's bullshit song Magic with T.I. debuts at #94.
• Estelle's Thank You debuts at #100.

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XXL's 2012 Freshmen Class Revealed

I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that I can't identify half of the people on this cover. Oh well, I'm positive it's a bad thing I can identify Roscoe Dash, that nigga's first single came out about 2 or 3 years ago. Maybe the Shop Boyz will be on the 2012 cover?

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