1) Eagles Gives Mike Vick 6-Year/$100M Deal
Ain't America something? Where else can you go from being a $100 million man to a broke social pariah in prison back to a $100 million man within 5 years? Oh yeah, no where.
These types of things don't happen often to ex-con, so I really think this is something to be celebrated. It's a shame I'm gonna have to root against him so vigorously this year.
This is good I guess, but he's still not playing in the opener if you ask me. Have you seen Peyton lately? He looks like Joe Decamillis after the Cowboys' indoor practice facility collapse in 2009. And that's not joke, his neck really is protruding like Joe D's. Now I'm obviously no doctor, but that doesn't seem like an ideal state to play football in. I don't expect shit from the Colts this year.
3) Cowboys Cut Andre Gurode
This is tough. I mean real tough (especially since his replacement, Phil Costa, is currently injured), but I guess it had to be done. I'm not sure why we waited until he was healthy and Costa was hurt to make the move (since it was clear Costa was probably gonna end up starting anyway), but you can't question Jerry I suppose.
Personally, I think as long as Romo, Miles, Dez, Witten, D-Ware, Ratliff, and the secondary stay healthy we should be fine regardless. Of course you can't tell that to fuck niggas like Jean-Jacques Taylor, who thinks we don't have a shot at the playoffs and will win 8 games tops, but oh well, I like being under the radar. It worked in '09.
4) Cedric Benson Sentenced To 20 Days In Jail
Yeah, the sentence will start when the Bengals go on their bye week, but it won't really matter because the Bengals will suck heavily this season.
I wanted to talk about this shit the other day, but couldn't think of anything to say. Two days later... well, still nothing, but I didn't want to go without posting this ridiculous picture by ESPN.
I'm not outraged or offended by it (and I'm not quite sure why everyone else is), if anything, he looks like an albino dude more than a white person (or Dave Chappelle). I just don't get why ESPN didn't just Photoshop Colt Brennan's head onto Mike's shoulders since that appears to be who they modeled him after. It would've saved time and looked more natural than this bullshit.
Anyway, if you want to read Toure's piece on ESPN.com, click here.
Actually, I'm not even positive he won and EA Sports didn't just go in a room and say, "We CANNOT put Michael Vick on the cover again!" Then again, Hillis did put out the new golden boy, Aaron Rodgers, in the previous round, so maybe he did beat Vick in a vote?
Well, whatever the case is, the city of Cleveland should be pissed. On the surface, it's awesome to get the recognition, but in the grand scheme of things, now your always shitty team just got the Madden curse placed on its best player. I like Hillis (he was my fantasy MVP last season), so I hope nothing happens to him, but if it did, no one should be surprised.
(Side note: Hopefully EA brings the speed burst button back on Madden 12.)
2) Vick Wins Comeback Player Of The Year Good, gotta give my man Vick something since his offensive line practically single-handedly eliminated him from the MVP race. 3) Santana Moss To Be A Free Agent Similarly to Nnamdi Asomugha, Moss' contract will be void soon, and the 31 year-old will become a free agent. Honestly, I don't give a shit where he lands, I'm just happy he won't be in Washington because he used to kill us all the time.
Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with Phil Simms? This fool is trying to go from CBS to CB4. He better sit his old white ass down somewhere before he throws out his back or some shit.
5) "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" Guy To Miss The Super Bowl Robert Cook from Visa's "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club" ads has been in the hospital since Thursday, and will indeed miss Super Bowl XLV. And what makes matters worse is that Cook is a Packers fan. Yep, so not only will he miss a Super Bowl, but he'll miss one that his own team is in. I'd say that's worse. Oh well, there's always the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Except That Time My Team Played In It Club." Besides, he could've died and missed a Super Bowl that way, so Cook should consider himself lucky. He'll feel a lot better about missing this game after his team loses tonight.
Speaking of the "Never Miss A Super Bowl Club," what's with that one guy Larry Jacobson? Can he see, or what? You know the guy I'm talking about too, but in case you want to play dumb, check him out here.
Yeah, him. Is the nigga blind or not? Personally, I think he is blind and his kids takes his tickets every year and drop him off somewhere so he thinks he's actually there. I mean, no need to waste perfectly good Super Bowl tickets on a dude who can't even see the game, right? Right!
1) Eagles To Franchise Vick; Shop Kolb As a Cowboys fan, I hate this, but as a football fan, I agree with the Eagles decision to put their franchise tag on Michael Vick. Of course there's going to have to be a CBA in place before they can do anything, but if there is still a franchise tag when the dust settles, might as well use it on Vick. I would still try to keep Kevin Kolb as insurance, but if the guy wants to get a shot to start somewhere else, I'm fine with them seeking a trade.
Can NFL teams make 3-team trades?? I've never heard of it being done, but if they can, I don't see why the Eagles, Titans, and a 3rd team that needs a QB wouldn't enter a 3-teamer that would land Kolb in Tennessee, Vince Young on the 3rd team needing a QB, and draft picks for Philly. 2) Kevin Durant Calls Out Chris Bosh "I was talking to my teammate and he decided he wanted to put his 2 cents into it. I'm a quiet guy, a laid-back guy, but I'm not going to let nobody talk trash to me. He's on a good team now, so he thinks he can talk a little bit....There's a lot of fake tough guys in this league and he's one of them."
Chris Bosh is a fake tough guy?? Chris will probably take that as a compliment because I'm sure that's the first time his name and "tough" as been brought up in the same breath.
Look, it's nice KD allegedly stuck up for his teammate, but calling out the kind and cuddly Chris Bosh doesn't impress me. Especially when your team loss.
3) Maurkice Pouncey Out For The Super Bowl This matters, but not really. The Steelers ARE going to win the Super Bowl, so at the end of the day, Pouncey's absence will be a non-factor.
Now I need to figure out if I will even bother writing a NFL Winners & Losers column for Friday because I'm 100% positive the Packers are going to lose. Well, we'll see.
6) O.J. Mayo Blames Positive Test On Energy Drink Skimming that article, I didn't see the name of said energy drink. If it was just a run of the mill energy drink, I say reduce the suspension, but if it was a Four Loko, I say tack on 10 more games. You don't deserve a game check if you drink Four Lokos.
1) Goodell To Cut Salary To $1 In Even Of Lockout Wow, so he's that confident the NFLPA and the rest of the players will cave like Antontio Cromartie did? Yeah, unfortunately he's probably right, but here's my question: Why $1? Why not no dollars? If you're the guy in charge, and you let the business that made an average of 55 million Americans stop and watch, you deserve nothing if said business has a work stoppage because you couldn't properly divide up the billions of dollars.
Sorry Roger, but I'm not impressed. 2) Chad Going Back To Johnson Yes, I realize this and the next couple story are old, but I still wanted to comment on them since I haven't really had the chance to.
Anyway, 2 thoughts on this topic: 1) it's about gotdamn time, and 2) good thing I never changed his name in the tags on my website.
1) Andy Reid Names Michael Vick Eagles Starter This move coming 2 days after Reid said Kevin Kolb would be the starter means one thing and one thing only: Reid's job is on the line. If Reid had job security, he would've went with Kevin Kolb and let him work through his issues. But since he needs to win now to keep his job, he can't afford to keep a player as talented as Mike Vick on the bench. That's just what it is.
That was my objective view as a football fan, here's how I really feel as a Cowboy fan: This blows! Obviously Vick gives the Eagles the best chance to win, and with the Cowboys already 0-2, it makes our road to the playoffs even tougher. And on top of that, I want to see Mike Vick do well, and that's really why this blows. I mean, what the fuck?? I can't root for Philly, I'm a Dallas fan, but I do want Vick to succeed. I'm not torn in my allegiance, I'm 100% Cowboy, but this just sucks. Fuck!
*Readies pro Kevin Kolb chants for Sunday*
2) Braylon Edwards Arrested For DWI What an idiot! I know it's been said 1,000 times already today, but Braylon, you live in New York GET A FUCKIN' CAB!
(Side note: If Madden really wants to get realistic, on Madden 12 they should delete that wack ass swagger rating and insert a character rating and suspensions. Guys with low character ratings end up with random suspensions (DWI, found with gun, club fight, domestic violence, and of course rape). Oh, and anybody could get suspended for taking performance enhancing drugs. That would be AWESOME! It gets no realer than that. Get on that EA.)
3) Reggie Bush Breaks A Leg Man, 2010 sucks for Reggie Bush. Oh well, all I wanna know is why couldn't he have broke his leg a little closer to Thanksgiving?? I'm just saying.
4) Brandon Jacobs Fined For Helmet Toss How many cameras are there in football stadiums these days?? Well how was this alleged helmet toss not caught by any of them?? You'd think the NFL would at least want to see what exactly happened before they issued a fine, but I guess not.
1) Nadal Wins 2nd Wimbledon, 8th Grand Slam And it really wasn't even that close. You could say Tomas Berdych did Nadal a solid by knocking out Roger Federer, but I think Rafa would've won regardless. Congrats to him.
2) Joey Chestnut Retains His Nathan's Title Rafael Nadal wasn't the only title winner on this Independence Day, no, Joey Chestnut ate 54 hot dogs and cruised to his 4th straight Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest victory. The sad part is after 30 or so dogs, Joey went into cruise-control and coasted to this win. He literally had no competition as Kobayashi indeed bitched out and didn't sign his contract to compete. Apparently after the competition Kobayashi rushed the stage and was taken into police custody, but I don't remember seeing that part of the show. 3) Eagles Deny Discussing Vick's Release This denial will look after in a week or so when they actually do release Mike Vick. I wouldn't be mad if they did either because why in the hell is Mike Vick having a freakin' birthday bash?? Dude, having packs of niggas (as Mel Gibson would say) in one place with YOUR reputation and professional career on the line is not the smartest of decisions. So if that decision is met with a release then so be it.
4) Plaxico Applies For Work Release Again This is so gotdamn sad. This mad is sitting in jail right now for shooting HIMSELF in the leg. That is just retarded. I'm sorry, but it really is.
And to think, New York's basketball team has the balls to try to convince NBA free agents to come and play in a state with such a stupid law. "But wouldn't you have to move to, and live in New York if you got the MTV TJ job??" You may be asking. The answer is yes, BUT if I did win, nobody would be targeting me, thus the lack of need to carry protection. Of course, that is also besides the fact I don't go to clubs unless I absolutely have to.
That's right Eagles' back-up QB is gonna be getting his own show! Its gonna be called "The Michael Vick Project" and will air on BET early 2010. Its a good thing the report listed a title because people like me were gonna go wild making up childish dog related titles. Hell, some probably still will anyway. I'll refrain. For now...
(Side note: Why wasn't this picked up by VH1?? They can make black people look like buffoons and sluts, but they were too good to put on Mike Vick's show?? Makes me sad for my daughter.)
I guess we all spoke too soon because today a rep for Nike said they DO NOT have any deal with Michael Vick. No word on if it was the same Nike rep that confiscated the LeBron tape lol.
Well the idea of it was nice while it lasted. I should've known better than to believe this shit anyway because it really makes no sense. I'm not saying it would lose Nike money, but it probably wouldn't set any sales records either. Oh well.
Well that was quick. I think it was just yesterday when I was in the barbershop talking about how it will probably take Mike Vick a few years to get his endorsements back, if ever, and come to find out he signs with Nike the next day (Side note: when I was at the barbershop yesterday this dude said he'd take Vick over Tony Romo! I mean I support Vick as much as the next man, but seriously??).
Nike will probably get a little bad press for this, but who cares, they're Nike. There's not enough people who wear Nike who will actually care enough to boycott them for this move. Now if Vick signed with Whole Foods or something then I'd be worried lol. I wonder what they're gonna do with him?? Maybe crank out some commercials?? They shouldn't even bother making a serious, Lance Armstrong type commercial, I think they should just go straight for the comedy. That way it'd be even funnier when PETA unsuccessfully tries to get it pulled lol. This should be good.
If this was slavery this dumb nigga would've got us all killed. He's not helping the Michael Vick cause at all. I don't know if you heard, but Ohio State starting QB Terrelle Pryor had "VICK" on his eyeblack during Saturday's barely won game. That wasn't the problem though, his explanation for it is. Take the stage Terrelle:
"I just feel he made his mistake, and I think he just needs more support," he said. "Not everybody is the perfect person in the world. Everyone does -- kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me. I just feel that people need to give him a chance."Via Jay-Mariotti.FanHouse.com
Damn, this man is one Pryor you don't want grabbing the mic. Everyone kills people and steals?? What the fuck?? I know dude is only 20, but fuck, how stupid can you be?? Nigga just go sit in the corner, you fuckin' it up for all of us right now.
Mike Vick met with Roger Goodell this morning and this afternoon his made a decision on his playing status for the regular season: Vick will be able to play week 3 after serving a 2 game suspension. Sounds fair, which seems like a peculiar thing to say about a Roger Goodell ruling lol.
Okay, so he only threw 4 passes, but he did connect on all for 4 them. That was only enough to net him 19 yards, but still not bad for his first live game action in over 2 years. The offense didn't exactly seem potent with either Vick or McNabb in there as Philly was only able to produce 6 points in the first half so maybe this will be a good thing for my Cowboys after all :-). Probably not but a man can dream, can't he??
1) Michael Jackson's Death Ruled A Homicide Uh-oh! Its about to get even uglier for that doctor in a quick second. Its a damn shame he had to be black but oh well, tough break nigga.
Anyway, am I the only one who thinks it still feels weird that Michael Jackson is dead?? Seriously though, I know he wasn't doing much this past decade and that he wasn't gonna live forever but damn, its freakin' Michael Jackson! That doctor needs to know he's going down. 2) Michael Beasley Checks Into Rehab This story is crazy! When I got off work I tuned into 790 The Ticket and heard Dan Lebatard talking to Charles Barkley about young athletes, lots of money, and drug use. Pure craziness.
Even though we don't really know the details of what kinda rehab he's entered just yet, I can say with all honestly I'm not shocked by this story one bit. Did it catch me off guard?? A little bit, but now that I sit back and think am I shocked, I realize I'm totally not. I mean I love M. Beas, but the dude always came off a bit weird to me. Plus, we already knew he's a poor decision maker (most noticeably for his decision to rock those skinny ass braids in the playoffs).
I hope dude gets the help he needs because we're gonna need his ass to have a real shot at anything this year.
On another note, Twitter takes down another and gives us reason #604 why most rappers/athletes/celebs shouldn't have a fuckin' Twitter.
4) Vick To Play This Thursday Vs. Jags From all accounts Mike Vick has looked pretty sharp since joining the Eagles and now we'll finally get to see what he looks like in his Philly gear in a real game. Ironically, the last time we saw him play was against the Eagles. I'm excited!
Exhibit A: "Her" dude body. (This bitch mo' swoll than T.O.) Exhibit B: "Her" dude voice. (When I was watching this video with my eyes closed, you're telling me that wasn't Dikembe Mutombo answering the questions??) Exhibit C: "Her" dude name. (I can't find one baby name site that says Caster, Castor, or Kaster isn't a dude'd name.) Exhibit D-Z: "Her" father not sounding confident "she's" a girl. ("I raised her and I have never doubted her gender." If you had a kid and this popped up wouldn't you come off more confident about its gender?? He never doubted?? That should've been more like "Bitch are you crazy?? I cleaned her masculine vag everyday for 5 years!") 2) Rick Pitino Admits To Sex With Woman Extorting Him For Money As Bill Simmons said, this may be the weirdest story of the decade! I mean Rick Pitino fucking some broad on the floor in the back of some restaurant and giving her $3,000 for "health insurance" was already crazy enough, but the fact that one of his either assistants or trainers went and married the chick just kicks it up a notch. How can you work with a man when you know he fucked your wife, let alone in the back of a restaurant?? I rather work at the restaurant that work for the man who fucked her there lol.
Oh well, this all just goes to show nobody is perfect.
3) 50 Cent's Before I Self Destruct Pushed Back To November This shit is just sad. Nobody is anticipating this album now because the time to drop it has passed. You know who should feel even worse about this than 50?? That's right, DR himself, Rick Ross. How you let him destroy you with no buzz to be found?? Sad.
4) Eagles' Selling Customizable Dog Jersey Come one, come all! Get your Eagles' customizable dog jerseys! Any size, any player... wait, so that includes Michael Vick?? Uhh...yes? Yes! This is the best unintential comedy moment since...well pretty much all of these stories I'm writing about right now lol.
To be fair, I'm sure you can get these jerseys for any team and make them for any player BUT I feel like the NFL or at least the Eagles' should've saw this coming when they signed Mike Vick.
On another not, if I had a dog, there is NO way I wouldn't buy this! I would just love to see the reaction of people when I walked my mut in his brand new Michael Vick jersey! It'd be like Ryan Jenkins wearing an "I love my wife" shirt before his umtimely suicide. I'll get into that in a moment lol.
5) Raiders coach declines to discuss alleged fight By now we pretty much know Tom Cable didn't actually punch assistant Randy Hanson, but still, buddy ended by with a cracked jaw and took a trip to the hospital. How crazy is this?? Where else does this happen, but Oakland?? Could you imagine Wade Phillips or Lovie Smith or any other NFL coach physically harming one of their assistants?? I don't care if he didn't personally hire the guy, it just doesn't happen.
And you know what?? I love it! I absolutely LOVE it! Its just great, I mean I'd play for that guy because he's obviously not going for your bullshit no matter who you are.
Question: Is Al Davis next on the Cableman's hit list?? lol.
6) C-Murder Sentenced To Life In Prison I don't even know what to say about this. I mean its kinda sad, but then again its really not. I don't know, I ain't fuckin' with it and I don't have an opinion on it.
When I initially heard the news that Michael Vick had signed a 2-year deal with the Philadelphia Eagles, I was disappointed. Not because I have anything against Michael Vick, or feel any kind of way about what he did, but because as a Dallas Cowboy fan, he signed with my rival. That's it. I don't know if a lot of people have gotten the memo, but this is just football. It’s a GAME. Philadelphia is NOT bringing in Mike Vick to replace the mayor or be their state representative in Congress; they brought him in to play FOOTBALL... a GAME. Hell, I wouldn't even be surprised if he never even plays a regular season down for the Eagles. Maybe all these foolish people who have nothing but negativity in their hearts have forgotten, but Donovan McNabb is healthy and still on the Eagles roster. Mike Vick won't see the field in a meaningful game unless something goes waaaaay wrong with McNabb. The organization is just giving Vick a chance. Don't get it confused, this is nothing more than a glorified tryout for a team to pick Vick up next year and give him an actual opportunity to play. That's all, that's it.
So the question stands: Why are the Eagles "fans" in such an uproar? Because Vick fought and killed some damn dogs in the past?? Sal Palantonio is in Philadelphia and said 90-95% of the reaction to the Vick signing is negative in the city so far. So nobody in Philadelphia has a past?? There are no drug users, rapists, child molesters, murderers, adulterers, thefts, or any of that in the city of Philadelphia?? Give me a fucking break!
And you know what really kills me? When people pull that "he hasn't proven he's sorry/remorseful" card. Are you serious?? Tell me, Mr. and Mrs. Perfection, what in the FUCK do you want this man to do?? He can't take back what he did, he's already apologized, what more can he do to "prove" he's remorseful?? There's is no addictive quality to the crime he committed, so what do you, Mr. and Mrs. Perfection, want him to do?? The man fought dogs, he didn't raped children, he's not addicted to drugs, he wasn't gambling. What, is he going to go to dog fighting rehab?? News flash, that doesn't exist! And really, do any of you fools think there is even an ounce of a chance he's going to be fighting dogs again ever?? If you do, then you're even dumber than I thought.
Besides, Michael Vick doesn't have to prove a damn thing to you. Who are you?? He has nothing to prove to anybody but himself and God. Did Michael bring this upon himself?? Of course he did, but he shouldn't have to walk with his head down for the rest of his life for a mistake he made, especially when people have done MUCH worse. Don't forget that for one minute either; there have been some foul people who have been welcomed back into society like it was nothing. Only one perfect man has walked the face of this Earth and his name was Jesus Christ, not Michael Vick.
At the end of the day if the Eagles win, this will all go away. Philadelphia fans are as fickle as they come and everything changes if the Eagles win. If Donovan goes down and Vick comes in and get them a win, all of this will be water under the bridge for them. If Donovan goes down and Vick plays horribly then we'll still be hearing all the outrage. That's the main reason I don't even get why those people are even mad right now.
This isn't all about the Eagles fans either, this column is also for all the naysayers and negative minded people who act like they are perfect and want look down on others and keep everyone else down. This is to PETA, to the media, to Pink, to the angry fans, pretty much everybody who is acting as if their child's school was bringing in a pedophile to speak to the kids on a one-on-one basis. Please get over yourselves.
Finally, as a Cowboy fan I am freaking terrified right now! It was bad enough that the Eagles beat us down 44-6 last December, but now they have a super talented team who is going to come together and rally behind Michael Vick. Do you think the Philly fans being upset is going to make everyone on the team get down on themselves? No, it’s only going to bring them closer and ultimately make them a better team.
I applaud the Philadelphia organization to have the balls to pull this off and now everybody in the NFC East should be afraid and very afraid at that. Not because Michael Vick is going to destroy us, but because all this craziness is just going to make them that more focused.
Nooo! Dammit, dammit, fuck, fuck! Of all the teams, why did it have to be the freakin' Eagles?? Then again, I take that back because I would've been just as pissed if he signed with the Giants or Redskins (and after what the 'Skins displayed in their preseason game tonight, they might need him more).
Anyway, its a 2-year deal, the first worth $1.6 million and an option for the second year at $5.2 million. That's pretty good money to sit on the bench and watch Donovan McNabb play. Damn, the Eagles are gonna scary good this year! I'm so pissed right! Damn, damn, damn!!!
Welp, we can cross another team off the list I guess. Here's what Patriots owner Robert Kraft had to say regarding Mike Vick on Sirius Radio Saturday:
"For us that's an academic problem because we've got the No. 1 player at that position [quarterback] in the world as far as I'm concerned. Why would ever want to do anything that would take him off the field for one play?"
And this all comes at a time when reports came out that they were near signing Cleo Lemon. Really?? You rather have Cleo Lemon as a back-up over Michael Vick?? Okay then. Actually, I'm glad here's not going there because I HATE the Pats so I wouldn't have wanted to cheer for them if they signed Vick.
1) Vick Conditionally Reinstated Here's my question: What more can this guy prove?? He committed a crime, but its one that has NOTHING to do with his character or the way his behaves day to day. I mean, its not like he was a rapist and now Goodell needs to see that he's done with his raping ways. He fought dogs! He went to jail and lost all of his money, do you seriously think he's gonna start another dog fighting ring?? Exactly! So like I said, what it there to prove?? 2) Lincecum Throws Career-High 15 K's There was a bet last night on ESPN's Streak For The Cash about who'd throw more strikeouts Tim Lincecum or Felix Hernandez (needless to say who won), but I missed it because the Yankees/Rays game ran long. That would've been an easy win though, this kid is a beast!
3) Wade Continues His Recruitment Of Odom In L.A. The Lakers already stupidly lowered their offer to him so maybe Wade will bring him back to Miami. We all know Lamar wants to live on the beach and what better beach is there to live on than South Beach?? (Well, besides the beaches in Rio of course.)
Lets talk about the Lakers for a second though. What the fuck are they doing?? Does Mitch Kupchak really think the Lakers can repeat without Odom?? I hope not because they DEFINITELY can't.
4) Hornets, Bobcats Swap Okafor, Chandler The Hornets had to get rid of Chandler. After stupidly trying to trade him last season shit was never gonna be the same again.
On another note, remember when "Dwight Howard or Emeka Okafor" was actually a discussion?? Awww, the good ol days lol.
5) Jonathan Bender Plots NBA Comeback Believe it or not, Bender has done quite well for himself outside of basketball. He should stick to that because he wasn't that good before the injuries and I doubt he'll be better now.
