"Holla! Purple drank! Size matters, but it's the thickness and the width they want! A double rainbow! A double rainbow!" LMAO! All hail Dan LeBatard! This is a timeless classic! I'm serious, the Heat should play this before every home game. The starting line-ups should be announced to this lol.
(Side note: If you didn't get that part I quote, allowed me to explained. The purple drank is in reference to when he was on PTI the other day and he and Wilbon talked about JaMarcus Russell getting arrested for codeine possession and the OTL report on purple drank. The "size matters" part was in reference to this weird male enhancement drug commercial they play on the radio in the morning down here in South Florida. And of course the double rainbow is in reference to this YouTube classic.)
July 10, 2010
Dan LeBatard Rejoices Over The Three Kings
The Carell Corral
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Steve Carell | ||||
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LMAO! Classic!!!!! You've gotta love Colbert and Carell.
Check out some more great "Colbert Report" clips after the jump.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The Carell Corral | ||||
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| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Formula 401: Beauty From My Beast | ||||
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| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Emergency Thought for Food - Candwich Setback | ||||
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Twerk Team PSA: Betty Butt Has Left The Building
Awwww! I'm not gonna lie, my heart dropped a little bit when they said Betty Butt was gone. Betty was making huge strides to become my favorite Twerker, but I guess that will no longer happen now. Tear. Tear.
But yeah, forget what they were saying, she's pregnant, right?? I mean, why else would she stop?? In my experience with young people getting pregnant, the first thing they do is disappear. I know I'm not the only one who's noticed a Facebook friend or 2 just up and disappear, only to re-appear a year or so later with tons of baby pictures. I think this is what's going on with Betty, so hopefully we'll have her back in about a year lol. Fingers crossed.
(Side note: I know I've missed a lot of their videos, but I'll do a megapost later on, either today or tomorrow.)
Cee Lo Green - No One's Gonna Love You
Fantastic! The song and video are nothing short of amazing! Yeah, it's a cover song (Band Of Horses made the original), but it's still excellent. Good shit Lo!
Cee-Lo's new album Cee-Lo Green Is The Lady Killer is supposed to be dropping on August 8th, so fingers crossed that doesn't change.
Young Jeezy - I'm Just Sayin'
Very dope video, but man, have you ever heard of this kid on YouTube named Eric Stanley?? He plays the violin and he made a crazy mash-up of I'm Just Sayin' with Rihanna's Rude Boy, Lady Gaga's Telephone, and Usher's O.M.G. You've GOT to check this shit out! Fuck it, just check out all his videos like his Find Your Love cover (what he did with that hook was magic!) and his Love The Way You Lie cover. I'm sure learning to play the violin didn't win him any popularity contests, but the kid has serious skills and I'm positive somebody in the industry will be smart enough to put him to work.
(Side note: Why isn't IJS a popular internet slang yet?? I mean, of course LOL will always be king, but people say "I'm just sayin'" enough that it's at least worth shortening up. Lets make it happen, it's the IJS movement baby!)
Asher Roth - Toni Braxton
Very Lark On My Go-Kart-esque, but I ain't mad at that, I love these animated videos. This course is from Asher's mixtape from earlier this year called Seared Foie Gras With Quince And Cranberry.
New Old Spice Commercials!
I don't even wear Old Spice, but I might go pick up some just because I love these commercials so much! I also think I'm gonna just start randomly using "swan dive" in sentences. Example: "I'm about to swan dive to the store and pick up some milk" or "Aight, I'll holla at y'all later, I'm about to go swan dive into my girl." I like it!
Check out more after the jump!
I haven't caught this one on TV yet, but it's just as hilarious!
Here's a parody of LeBron's "The Decision" special from Thursday night with PopEater:
I almost thought it wasn't gonna be funny, but he hooked it up at the end lol. Good stuff.
Random News Shit: NBA Free Agency Edition Pt. 5
I believe this is just for show. I know I had Fish on my free agent wish list, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Why would he come to the Heat?? He already has 5 rings, so you know he's not itching for a championship, and the Heat have about as much money to pay him as his Lakers do. And that's all besides the fact that he'll be turning 36 next month. I honestly don't see it happening, and that's for the best, I'd like to see Fish finish his career in L.A.
2) Kyle Korver Reaches 3-Yr/$15M Deal With Bulls
Fuck! Kyle Korver is probably the free agent I wanted the most for the Heat. The man can flat out shoot. Last season the man shot 53.6% from 3 to lead the NBA! You're telling me he couldn't AT LEAST match that with the Heat where all he'd have to do was stand at the 3-point line and wait for wide open jumpers??
This will hurt less when the Mike Miller deal is finalized (he was 2nd in 3-point shooting at 48%), but I'd be lying if I said I didn't prefer Korver.
3) J.J. Redick Signs 3-Yr/$20M Offer Sheet From Bulls
Unlike the Cavs, the Bulls are quickly moving on from LeBron and trying to build a contender of their own. Redick is a restricted free agent, so the Magic still have a chance to match this offer, but either way you slice it, the Heat are out of the running for his services.
4) Bobcats Give Tyrus Thomas 5-Yr/$40M Deal
Huh?? Michael Jordan and the Bobcats do know who Tyrus Thomas is, right?? Oh ok. Well then again, anytime you get a chance to spend $8 million a year on a guy who averages 9 points and 6 rebounds a game, you've got to do it.
5) Raymond Felton, Knicks Agree To Deal
This is a nice move by the Knicks, but still, Felton is no Steve Nash. Amare will learn that soon.
6) David Lee Headed To Warriors Amid Knicks Sign-and-Trade
I know this happened Thursday, but I never got a chance to speak on it with all the LeBron hysterics.
Anyway, I'm not sure why the Knicks feel Amare is so much better than Lee, but still they send Lee to Golden State in exchange for Anthony Randolph, Kelenna Azubuike and Ronny Turiaf. Because that's just what the Knicks needed, more forwards lol. Lee's deal is 6-years for $80 million.
New Heat Debut In Miami, Sign Contracts
The Heat were able to work out sign-and-trades with both the Cavaliers and Raptors, so LeBron and Bosh got their 6th year and signed contracts worth $110.1 million. Wade took the biggest pay cut signing his 6 year deal for $107.5 million. Each took roughly $15 million less than they could have to make this happen.
Now it's time to fill out this roster. I already gave you guys my wish list yesterday, but 2 guys (Kyle Korver and J.J. Redick) have already decided to go elsewhere, so I'm gonna add in 2 more. Don't laugh, but the 2 news guys I'm adding are Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison.
Here me out. What do the Heat need most right now?? Big men and spot up shooters, right?? Well isn't Kwame Brown a big man, and isn't Adam Morrison a shot up shooter?? It's not like we need them to carry the load, all the have to do is play their small roles. Virtually no pressure on their shoulders. Plus, both are still in their 20s (Brown is 28 and Morrison is 25), and can be had for cheap. I say they're worth a shot. Makes sense to me.
SOURCE
July 09, 2010
STFU Award: Dan Gilbert
Daniel (or should I say "Danielle"?) Gilbert, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
Wow, that felt good!
I had to break the glass on an old FiyahMuZik.com classic because this fuck Danielle truly deserved it. If he felt like LeBron was such a shitty guy, shouldn't he have been glad to get him away from his team?? Think about it, if you were a team owner, why would you want a guy you felt was "selfish" and a "coward" and had quit on your team in the playoffs?? If Danielle really felt that way, LeBron's decision should've been no sweat off his back.
But we ALL know he doesn't feel this way. There's no way. In fact, I'm willing to bet you any kind of money that if LeBron changed his mind once he arrived in Miami today, Gilbert would've welcomed him back with opened arms and apologized his ass off. This scorn bitch Danielle knows LeBron was his whole team and his inability to supply him with the tools to succeed is what lead to his departure. Oops, your bad.
You know what I think?? I think the guy who wrote that hateful open letter to LeBron James is the real Danielle Gilbert. I don't think he got pissed off and just lost it for a few, I think that's just who he is. If that is true, then you must ask yourself one question: why would LeBron want to stay and help that scumbag win anything?? I know I wouldn't. And that's even beyond the fact that the Cavaliers simply ain't shit.
The real reason Danielle is this mad isn't even basketball related, it's bottomline related. Do you seriously think Danielle give a fuck about bringing a championship to Cleveland?? Hell no! Everything he's done over the past few years weren't done to make his team better, they were done to make LeBron happy. LeBron was the cash cow, he made Danielle millions and millions of dollars, many more millions than Danielle has paid out to LeBron. That's over, and now Danielle is moist. Again, your bad.
(Side note: I'm not saying LeBron shouldn't have been the cash cow, or that Danielle shouldn't be out to make as much as he can. No. But it's clear he wasn't investing in LeBron to make his team happy, he was investing in LeBron to make LeBron happy, and you can't put the cart before the horse. I mean, why else would he be this mad?? Because Cleveland isn't going to win a NBA championship?? Fuck no! More like because the money tree chomped itself down and replanted itself in Miami.)
In closing, Danielle Gilbert, shut the fuck up! You're a shitty owner and a classless son of a bitch. Oh, and great way to advertise your team to all the future free agent, I know everybody will be lining up at your doorsteps to play for your Cavs now that they know this is the treatment they'll get if they decide to leave town. Awesome. And good luck winning that championship before LeBron.
LeBron James Chooses The Heat
Second, I wanna send a shout out to all the new Miami Heat fans. I saw a lot of people who rooted for the Celtics after they put out the Heat in the playoffs become Heat fans last night. Welcome... but just know you ain't shit lol.
Third, I wanna send another shout out, but this time to all the rapper who plan on using lines like "I'm staying with the Heat... D-Wade" and "I bring in the new Heat like Pat Riley." We all know you're out there.
Now, how about the Miami Heat?? I cannot believe they landed all 3 of the big free agents of the 2011 class. Wade and Bosh was huge, but LeBron just takes this whole thing to a different level. I'm still in shock, I can't believe he's coming to the Heat. I know I said the Heat would be better off if he didn't come, but I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a little bit of a reserve jinx. It wasn't 100% reserve jinx though, and it will be interesting to see how Pat Riley fills out the rest of this roster.
They've already traded Michael Beasley and his $5 million a year salary to Minnesota (wish they would've got more than a 2nd round pick, but I'll take it), so we'll see who we can use that on. We know the salary cap is going to be higher, and that Wade, LeBron, and Bosh all are gonna take less money to make this happen, so hopefully some good ol' vets will do the same.
(Side note: Now that Minnesota has added 2 former 2nd overall pick draft busts this offseason in Beasley and Darko Milicic, I think David Kahn should just finish the job and bring in the rest of the 2nd overall pick draft busts from the '00s. Stromile Swift, Tyson Chandler, Jay Williams, Emeka Okafor, Marvin Williams, and Hasheem Thabeet would be lovely additions. AND on top of that, they could change their names to the "Minnesota Busts" or the "Minnesota Underachievers." I like it!)
In actuality, all the Heat need at this point is big men and spot up shooters. Brendan Haywood has already re-signed with Dallas, but here are some other free agents I have my eye on if they're willing to play for less (in no particular order):
Brad Miller (7-footer, 34 years old, can hit open shots, plays big)
Shaquille O'Neal (wants to match Kobe in rings, not sure he'd take the huge pay cut though)
Mike Miller (still only 30 years old, great shooter from 3)
J.J. Redick (young guy, excellent spot up shooter, could make a lot more elsewhere)
Allen Iverson (looking for redemption and a pay check, not sure where/how he'd fit)
Kyle Korver (29, incredible shooter, may be willing to take less to win)
Derek Fisher (tons of heart, if he takes less it'll probably be to stay in L.A.)
Zydrunas Ilgauskas (veteran 7-shooter who can play with LeBron)
Anthony Morrow (only 24, great shooter, not sure he'd take the small contract)
Roger Mason Jr. (29, nice spot up shooter, gets no PT on current team)
And then there's the guys from last season's team who I'd love to have back like Udonis Haslem, Joel Anthony, and Quentin Richardson.
Aight, so that handle the roster options, now let's talk about LeBron's decision some more. Some people will say he took the "easy way out" but that is some bullshit. So him staying in Cleveland with scraps would have been more honorable?? I hate that all these "analysts" and "experts" are acting like if he stayed in Cleveland and continued to not win rings he'd somehow be more respectable. Stop with the bullshit! They'd be the first ones ripping him for not living up to his potential and winning rings. Loyalty in sports is a bitch, ask Kevin Garnett. Do you seriously think if KG could do it all over, he wouldn't have left the T'Wolves in his prime when he had the chance?? I mean, thank goodness he was able to finally get a ring, but so many others aren't so lucky (Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, Charles Barkley, etc.). As far as I'm concerned, LeBron did what Kevin Garnett should have done.
Now let's talk about Cleveland. Why are these people so mad?? Yeah they lost the greatest basketball player to wear a Cavs jersey, but aren't they use to these kinds of gut punches by now?? The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, I mean the list goes on and on. And why are they so shocked and surprised?? I mean, I always thought he was going to stay, but I never said it'd be a good idea. They HAVE to realize it would have been stupid for him to stay, and that's whether he ended up in Miami, New York, Chicago, or New Jersey. Cavs fans knew that, hell, the whole state of Ohio knew that, but still they burned his jersey and are acting like babies.
Oh, and did you get a load of Cavs majority owner Dan Gilbert?? His reaction to LeBron leaving was that of a scorn woman, not of a professional businessman (the Comic Sans MS font didn't help either). I'll talk about Danny more later, but after reading his classless response to LeBron's decision, could you really blame him for no longer wanting to play for such a bitch?? I'm sure that helped LBJ regret his decision even less.
You know what?? Fuck it, this is what Cleveland's ass gets for tanking the '02 season to land LeBron in the '03 draft. Man up, the guy took your franchise to heights it has never seen before, and will never see again. Be grateful he wasted 7 years of his career on y'all. Stop worshiping humans and trying to hold them up to these God-like standards. He had to make a decision and any way you slice it (Miami, New York, Chicago, New Jersey), the best option was NOT in Cleveland. So be sad, feel betrayed, fine. But I'm gonna need this to not linger on for forever.
And with that being said, I can't think of any city who deserved this less than Miami lol. Seriously, you know I love South Florida, but we are the fairweather fans of all fairweather fans. We are only around when things are going good. Did you see any Heat home games last year?? That arena was less than half filled on a nightly basis. And lets not even start on the Marlins, they're lucky if they get 1,000 heads for a home game. So no Miami and South Florida didn't deserve this, but I'm sure happy it happened.
The last big question to be answered is can Wade, LeBron, and Bosh play together?? My answer: fuck yeah! It's not like they've never played together before. They were all apart of the 2006 FIBA World Championship squad and 2008 Olympic gold medal team. And that's not to mention the 5 All-Star Games they've all played in together (including 2007 when all 3 started). Wade and LeBron have played on 6 together and started together all but once (2005). In particular, I remember watching the All-Star Game this year and tweeting about how great D-Wade and LeBron looked playing together. I know there isn't much defense played in All-Star Games, but their on-court chemistry was undeniable. So yeah, I definitely think they can play together.
So there you have it, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh are teammates again, but for real this time, and as members of Miami Heat. Now all we need are nicknames. I've heard the "3 Live Crew," "Miami Thrice," and some acronym with all 3 of their initials, but the 1 I like best is "Miami-Wade County, LeBroward County, and Palm Bosh County." It's a bit long-winded, but I love it because this isn't only big for Miami, it's big for South Florida.
(Side note: I like how all the proceeds from the "LeBron's Decision" special going to charity is being completely overlooked.)
(Side side note: How long before Erik Spoelstra "wants to spend more time with his family" and Pat Riley takeover as Heat head coach again??)
(Side side side note: Why was Kanye West there??)
July 08, 2010
Thursday Billboard Update - 7/8/10
Not much movement on the Hot 100 this week.
The Billboard 200 1-10
first week debuts in bold
1. Eminem - Recovery (1-1)
2. Drake - Thank Me Later (2-2)
3. Various Artists - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (10-3)
4. The-Dream - Love King (4)
5. Various Artists - Now 34 (5-5)
6. Justin Bieber - My World 2.0 (8-6)
7. 3OH!3 - Streets Of Gold (7)
8. Jack Johnson - To The Sea (7-8)
9. Miley Cyrus - Can't Be Tamed (3-9)
10. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now (12-10)
- Dwele's What Women Want debuts at #28 with 13,600 sold.
first time top 10's in bold
1. Katy Perry - California Gurls (1-1)
2. Eminem - Love The Way You Lie (2-2)
3. Usher - OMG (3-3)
4. B.o.B - Airplanes (4-4)
5. Travis McCoy - Billionaire (5-5)
6. Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me (7-6)
7. Taio Cruz - Dynamite (14-7)
8. Drake - Find Your Love (6-8)
9. Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo (10-9)
10. Eminem - Not Afraid (11-10)
- Kanye West's Power debuts at #22 this week. Light skin girls and Kelly Rowlands included.
- Diddy-Dirty Money's Hello Good Morning shoots up the charts 23 spots 52-29. (Side note: what happened to just "Dirty Money"?? When did they become "Diddy-Dirty Money"??)
- Flo Rida's Club Can't Handle Me debuts at #65.
- B.o.B's Magic is up 13 spots 91-78.
- Lil Jon and LMFAO's Outta Your Mind checks in at #84.
- Chris Brown's Deuces debuts at #87.
July 07, 2010
Fiyah On JL Radio With Jessica LaShawn
Check your boy out on JL Radio earlier today! Me and Jessica talked Rick Ross, Jadakiss, Diddy, Cassie, hoes cutting off their hair, Nicki Minaj, MTV, black people, and a whole host of other topics. I even call back in later in the show to offer some more opinion on this video. Be sure to check out Jessica's website, follow her on Twitter, and check out JL Radio. If you wanna download the whole episode from today click here.
Part 2 is after the jump.
I come in about 4 minutes in.
I know St. Louis has more hood places than that, I'm sorry lol.
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